From: Scott Schimmel
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 1998 3:12 AM
Subject: [FFML] [C&C/MST] [KOR] Life So Dear

Cool!  I *love* getting these things.  :D

So instead of Shakespeare, I drew on Patrick Henry.

Akane:  (blinks) Not Shakespeare?

Scott:  And not a sonnet in sight.

Yuu:  Who are you, and what have you done with the real
Richard Lawson?

Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

But very little got by those eyes.

Yuu:  Except light, one would hope.

Heh.

Finally a voice floated from the chair.  "You
are certain?"

Scott:  (Amano) No.  I am Amano.  Certain is waiting
outside.

D'oh!  Hehehehehehe... now you've got me in an "Airplane!" frame of mind.
:)

He was met outside by his associate.

Yuu:  (Amano) Hello, Certain.  Sorry to keep you waiting.

:D  :D

This didn't sound good.  The last thing Amano needed
was someone partaking of underestimation.

Yuu:  What, there isn't enough to go around?

Akane:  "Partaking of underestimation" sounds really strange.
"Succumbing to overconfidence" might work better, if the
narration is supposed to reflect Amano's tone.

*Good* suggestion.  I wasn't enamored of "partaking" either.

"He is more than just a boy," he said blandly.

Yuu:  (cheesy fantasy movie voice) He is the one whose
coming was foretold in legend!

:D  :D

Anyone else remember the trailer for "The Golden Child"?

The tall man waited a moment to respond.  "You
are right.

Scott:  (Amano) No.  I am Amano.  Why does no one
recognize me?

Bwahahahahahahaha!  :D  :D

"Good."  Amano nodded, satisfied.  "We must make
an example of this one."

Scott:  Dialogue brought to you by Melodrama, Ltd.

A subsidiary of Tendo Investment Enterprises.  I'm a major partner.  :)

"Very well."  A car door was being held open for him.
He climbed in.  The tall man walked once around the
car before opening the door opposite and entering.

Akane:  Okay... Certain is obsessive-compulsive?

Yuu:  I think he meant "walked around the car, opened
the door opposite, and entered."  Or something along
those lines.

Actually, Akane's got it right.  Tall Guy is making sure everything's
clear before he gets in.

He immediately smiled, knowing what the shower contained.

Akane:  Shouldn't that be "who" the shower contained?

Hmm... perhaps better.

There's something I need to tell you.

Scott:  And that is?

Akane:  (Madoka) Komatsu proposed yesterday afternoon,
and I've decided to marry him instead.

Gah.  Anyone who writes such a fic I would be forced to hunt down and
kill.  :)

There were still walls she hid behind.  Hopefully the
marriage would break the last of them down.

Scott:  Way too much emphasis on the wedding, here.
Something very bad is going to happen at that ceremony.

Heh.  Now that you mention it, I did the same thing in "Transitions".

She'd left Japan five
years ago, and he hadn't seen her since.

Yuu:  But Madoka apparently has...

I don't say so explicitly, but they just exchange letters.

"Three days before we get married, and I'm just
*now* finding out about this?"

Akane:  Well, it's better than after they got married...

Good point.

Reminds me of when I was sitting with my mother watching "Bewitched"
reruns.  We were watching the very first episode, which takes sixty
seconds detailing the courtship of Samantha and Darren.  After they get
married, and after suitable hijinks, Samantha reveals that she's a witch.
My mother tsked at the TV and said something like "She should have told
him that before they got married."

Yes, 50's television *is* a mirror of real life.  :)

He turned to see one of his classmates - what was
her name?  Yuki? - running up behind him.

Scott:  I forget.  Is this one of the two girls from
the manga who had a crush on him?

No, she's nobody.  Ensign Throwaway.

Gee, that hadn't been any fun.  She hadn't begged or
anything.  He frowned as he turned, wondering if he
maybe shouldn't have strung her along a little.

All:  ... O_O

Yuu:  So that's what happens when you grow up telepathic.

That's kind of the way I see it.  And Kazuya was never a paragon of virtue
to begin with.

"What can you offer me?"

Akane:  (Yokio) My eternal soul?

Yuu:  (Kazuya) Cheapskate.

:D  :D

He didn't need money; Madoka made plenty from her
songwriting, and she was well-endowed

Scott:  I'll say...

Akane:  (mallets Scott) Hentai!

:D   I was wondering if and when someone would pick up on the double
entendre.

He hadn't been taking a lot of pictures lately.  He
needed to.  He needed not to get out of practice.  He
had to get the foul taste of this morning's argument
with Madoka out of his mouth.  He needed to make
everything all better somehow.

Scott:  He needed to start some of his sentences with
something other than "he."

He has a problem with that sometimes.

For the most part he was an evil little brat,
and Kyosuke was happiest when he wasn't around.

Scott:  Well, if there was still any question as to
Richard's feelings about Kazuya, they're now laid to
rest... ^_^

Hehehe, true.  I hate the little jerk.  Even the story where he helds
Kyosuke help Madoka wasn't enough to raise my opinion of him.
Contemptuous, a user of people - and with unmatched, unchecked power.
Hence my portrayal of him here.

For the first time in his life, Kyosuke felt old.

Akane:  Not for the first time in his life, Kyousuke felt stupid.

Hehehehehe.  :)

"You would; he still looks a lot like you."

All:  Uh-oh.

Yuu:  Poor Kyousuke is going to end up getting the blame for
everything Kazuya's done, isn't he?

No, but it does play a part in things to come.

Sometimes, he'd make the bulky men forget exactly
how much was collected, and increase his cut all
that much more.

Akane:  He's cheating his, uh, employers?

Yuu:  He's not particularly bright, but I didn't think
he was suicidal.

Not so much stupid as brash and inexperienced.  In other words, a typical
teenager.  :)

Scott:  You know, I know I'm not the first to say this,
but... this plot looks a lot like one I had in mind for
a dark KOR fic, sometime in the future...

You're about the fourth, actually.  :)

(sighs) Oh, well.  Guess I'll just have to make sure
it's got a different twist to it.

Do it.  Would love to see it.

Scott:  He can manipulate memories, too?  Why is he
still at such a low rank?  He should be the power
behind the throne by now.  Even if he can only erase
them, he could use that selectively to improve his
position quite a bit.

Well, again, he's a bit young, and still feeling out his powers.  And he's
still enjoying very much what he's achieved so far - lots of money, lots
of sex.  Adolescent heaven!  :)  It'll take a while for him to decide that
he wants more.

"I am aware of that."  The tall man smiled slowly.
"But I will be there when he falls.  That is matter
of personal honor, after all."

Akane:  Who is this guy?

Yuu:  Someone pretty important.

Nah, generic anonymous evil guy.

He made his way down the hallway.  He pushed open
an unremarkable door towards the center of the building.

Scott:  Starting both of these with "he" sounds weird, again.
Combining them might be better.

Hmm.  Another good suggestion.

Akane:  Why is he trying to visualize?  If he can use
his telepathy to get test answers without hurting or
alerting the teacher, why can't he use it to get an
image of what the people outside can see?

Well, he doesn't *know* there are people outside.  He needs to see someone
to control them.  An arbitrary condition of mine.  :)

Kazuya dropped to the ground, more because
he was terribly afraid of being shot than any coherent plan.

Yuu:  "Don't get shot" sounds like a good enough plan to me...

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Akane:  More to the point, why do they think their minds couldn't be
taken over?  Are they ESPers too?

No, just overconfident.  It's like most people think, deep down, that
they're going to live forever.  Same thing here: "So what is he's an
ESPer; he can't take over *my* mind!"

Amano smiled.  "Excellent.  Show me."

Scott:  I thought this was Japan, not Missouri. ^_^

:)  Used to live a stone's throw from Missouri, too.

"You have already proven your loyalty, you freak."
Amano blinked at the hate in the tall man's voice.
"I will see your blood running-"

Yuu:  Now this is interesting.  I wonder whether this
is based on some throwaway reference in the manga, or
completely made up for the fic?

Completely made up.

Kurumi growled.  "Stop being so serious, Manami!"  She
waved with her hand, and Manami's glasses went flying.

Yuu:  That seems a little mean-spirited for Kurumi.  I
could see her moving her sister bodily, or something
similar, but I don't think she'd risk breaking Manami's
glasses over a relatively minor argument.

Er... she telepathically controlled their flight to ensure a soft landing.
Yeah.  That's the ticket.

Manami put them on and glared down at Kurumi.
"Really!  That's very rude!  Aren't you a little
old to be making such childish pranks?"

Scott:  Twenty-five, going on thirteen.  Assuming
her mental age and physical age have progressed at
the same rate.

Hehehehe.  Not too far off.  :)

forgotten how awful it was when he had to keep
moving from town to town, year after year?"

Scott:  Minor nitpick; I think you mean 'we' rather than 'he.'

D'oh!

Scott:  He thinks this is a nightmare...  He should
be thankful he doesn't have premonitory dreams.

Akane:  Speaking of which, I'm surprised Kyousuke
hasn't had one.  It seems like they're often caused
by stress, and he's had plenty of that.

Scott:  Makes for a better story.  Besides, the dreams
aren't consistent.

I didn't use a dream because I hate them.  Whenever a story began with a
dream sequence, I could predict the plot almost to the panel.  Dream seems
to mean one thing, reality something altogether different, hilarious
hijinks result from Kyosuke's misunderstanding.  A much-overused plot
device by MI.

He'd been running for...
hours?  days?  He'd lost track of time.

Akane:  Considering he's an ESPer, losing track of time
takes on a whole new meaning...

Scott:  Except I think the only ones who can timeslip
are Grandpa and Kyousuke.

Yup.  In the manga, anyway.

Komatsu shook his head.  "Kasuga, Kasuga, Kasuga.
Why'd you have to go and get married?"

Yuu:  It almost had to be Madoka's idea.  It would
take Kyousuke years to work up enough courage to
propose.

Hmm.  Interesting thought.  I wonder what that would be like?

Akane:  Maybe that's why it's set so long after the
end of the manga.

Kind of.  As long as it took them to openly admit that they liked each
other, and as private as Madoka is and as indecisive as Kyosuke is, I
thought it'd take this long for them to decide to get married.

Kyosuke was still confused.  "But, you don't have
sex with lots of young women.  You don't have wild
parties every night.  You're always complaining
'bout having nothing better to do than read
perverted comics every night.  Wha's so great 'bout
that?"

All:  (ROFL)

:D  I had a lot of fun with this scene.

Hatta began crying.  "Why can't we get all the
women you do, Kasuga?"

Akane:  (Kyousuke) 'S easy.  Y' have t'be th'
pru- pro- prata- hero.

Hehehehehehehehehe.  And quite true, too.  :)

"Right!"  Komatsu beamed.  "And that cute cousin
of yours, too.  Akane."

Yuu:  And that childhood friend of his, too.

Oh yeah!  I *knew* I was forgetting someone.  :)

Another drink soon appeared in front of Kyosuke.
He smiled at it, at the woman on the stage, and
at the world in general.

Akane:  Wait a minute.  The woman walked off the
stage earlier in this scene.

This was supposed to be a new woman.  Will try and make clearer.

And she'd laughed, and told him that she wasn't
going anywhere, that moving to America had been
a joke, but he'd known, he'd known it wasn't a
joke, that she'd needed to hear him say that.
It had been one of the critical junctures in the
early part of their relationship, and he'd managed
to get it right.

Scott:  One of my favorite parts in both the anime and manga.

One of my favorite stories in the manga.  Would love to see the anime
version.

Suddenly Kazuya moved towards him.  And the world exploded.

Akane:  The End.

Hehehe.  The "Douglas Adams" theory of story-telling.

Amano woke instantly at the sound of his phone ringing.
He glanced at the clock: almost five in the morning.
This had to be important.  He smiled; he knew what it
had to be.

He picked up the phone.

Yuu:  Hello, I'd like to order three large pizzas with
extra cheese...

:D  :D

"What's wrong, Sis- uh, Akane?"  He had to be careful.

She evidently missed it.

Akane:  It's amazing that she could miss something that
blatant.  No matter how distracted she is, she's used to
watching people's reactions so she can keep manipulating
them with her disguise power.

I was wondering if anyone would catch this.  I wasn't entirely comfortable
with it, either.

She stopped talking.  Kazuya had no idea what to
make of that.  He racked his brains, trying to figure
out what Kyosuke would say.  Something wimpy,
Kazuya was sure.

Yuu:  Hmm... Kyousuke and Kazuya haven't seen much of
each other for ten years... I don't see how Kazuya
thinks he can pull the impersonation off without using
his power on everyone he meets.  And doing that would
get him noticed by some of the Kasuga clan.

Well, he has just trying to find a way out of getting killed.  He's still
giddy with relief over escaping that fate.  He's due for a reality check.
:)

"Uh... I forgive you.  No more holding back stuff,
that sounds great. Look forward to the stories."

Akane:  (laughs) Nice response.  Keep that up and
you'll last, oh, at least another twenty seconds.

Hehehehehehe.

The hand was removed.  "Now, you might be
having a little difficulty> thinking clearly.
 We have given you several drugs.  Drugs that
will keep you awake, but unable to concentrate.
We don't want you using your ESP to try and
alter our minds, after all.

Scott:  Actually, this might not have the desired
effects.  Sometimes, when Kyousuke is unable to
concentrate, he just can't use his powers, but
sometimes they get scrambled, or go off
involuntarily, or get out of control.  These guys
just might be in for a surprise.

You don't say...

What had happened to that?  Where was Madoka.

Scott:  Question mark.

D'oh!

Then she was going to leave.

Akane:  I knew Hikaru had to show up.

You did?  Was I that obvious?  Rats.  :)

The bride had acted like a love-sick airhead.

Something the woman was all too familiar with.

Akane:  Saved us the trouble of saying it, eh?

Hehehehehe.

"And that man," the woman said out loud, with utter
conviction, "was definitely not Sempai."

Yuu:  At least someone has some common sense.  Though
maybe she just hasn't considered that he could have
changed in five years.

Not like that, though.  Not that much.  IMO, anyway.

Akane:  True, but the other people at the ceremony don't have that
excuse.  Why wouldn't Manami notice, or Grandma?  Or even Akane, since
she knows Kazuya better than anyone else?

Well, they notice he's acting odd, but put it down to wedding-day anxiety.
Only Hikaru knows both Madoka and Kyosuke well enough to notice that
they're *both* acting strangely, and that it has to be more than just
jitters.

[Yuu fast-forwards.]

The next part?  Um... still working on it.

Scott:  Looking forward to it.  I really enjoyed this one.

Thanks.

Besides, it's always good to see people writing KOR. ^_^

Now that I've actually read the manga, I can go about and read some of it
myself.  Any recommendations?

Akane:  Until next time...

[The three wave.  Yuu raises the remote and pushed a
button, and all goes dark.]

Thanks, guys.  This means a lot to me.  Always love getting C&C of any
kind, of course, but MST's are special.  :)

Scott Schimmel

-Richard