One story ends.. another begins.  There's always a day after.

"There are no happy endings because nothing ever ends."  -- Peter S.
Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"

     			An El Hazard/AMG crossover

I know you're probably getting tired of hearing this from me, but:

More, more!

Excellent piece of work, Barry.  Character voices are right on target.
And while they were subtle, I think I caught all your setups for future
complications...

Ifurita.

The most powerful of the Demon-gods of El Hazard.  An android
super-weapon created by a lost civilisation.  

Ancient, vastly powerful, slayer of armies and destroyer of cities.  

Crippled in body by the long ages she had slept, and in soul by memories
of war and destruction.

Poetic and precise both at the same time.  Is it intentional that it seems
to have echos of Arabic verse in its internal rhythms?

  _Grave robber's_ Club????  

The Nekomi Tech Igors strike again!

NIT Four Wheels club..  he flicked a glance over the bunny suited girls
signing people up and kept right on walking.  Loud music, and louder
exhortations from the spruikers.  Tacky.

"spruikers"?  A typo, or something I should go look up in my dictionary?

eyes, slightly built and to Urd's experienced eye, attractive but not
overwhelming.. but with a quiet maturity and self assurance well beyond
his years.

<nodding>  Good point.  Makoto's certainly gone through and accomplished
enough both to merit exceptional self-assurance by this time.

 An _interesting_ specimen.  Urd's green eyes sparkled in
anticipation.

Green? <grin -- private joke, ffml-folks, don't mind me.>  Of course they
do...

Makoto gathered up the blanket and small rucksack and linked arms with
her "Come on, I have a few people I want you to see."

Sounds like he's taking her to an appointment.  How about "...want you to
meet", instead?

reminding her of another very 'ordinary' young man.  And the woman..
some sort of artificial being, she thought, a sense of great age and a
blood stained past.. and a surprising innocence.. 

This is a device I like -- the goddesses *knowing* what Ifurita is
without trying -- and without bias, as well.  I was half afraid we'd see
Skuld go "Demon!" and try to hammer her...  I'm delighted with what
actually transpired.  What I wonder is, is Ifurita under their
jurisdiction?  While labelling her a "god" is probably technohyperbole,
she *is* both a device and native to another universe.  Does she even have
an entry in Yggdrasil?

She could almost _see_ the chemistry fizzing between them. 
Ah!  Love!
But she was _sure_ they could use a little help..

Down, girl!  Down!

and her eyeballs nearly exploded!

Ew.  Yuck.  Anyone got a paper towel?

<grin>

On a serious note, an omniscient third-person narrator should almost never
use exclamation points.  Make that never.  It comes across as the text
equivalent of a movie voice-over saying "This is *so* exciting!"  The
description is fine, the punctuation should be modified.

"kawaii.. kawaii mecha.. " the pint sized goddess whispered as her eyes
filled with tears of joy, turning to follow the demon-god with her gaze.

Sku-uld's in Lu-uv...  Sku-udl's in Lu-uv...
<WHAM>
mInD IF i JuSt rESt HerE A moMeNt?...

Makoto smiled reassuringly "I'm sure it's you're striking good looks." 

                                            ^^^^^^

"your"

The contrast between the four girls was striking.  Ifurita did not have
the warm caring beauty of Belldandy, the sultry heat of Urd, or the
cuteness of Skuld.  Ifurita, ancient and deadly.. the beauty of a naked
flame, a glacier or a mastercrafted sword.  A perilous, inhuman beauty,
armoured in pride and an assurance that there was nothing physical in
this world she need fear.

Again with the poetry!  <grin>

Tamiya lunged for Makoto, arms outstretched for his customary
'greeting'. 
"Welcum to da Club my FrieUUURRRKKK"
A stony faced Ifurita shoved her love back, to land sprawling outside
the door, and grabbed the giant by his belt with one hand, easily
lifting him off the floor, the other hand coming back to strike..

About damn time someone clocked that idiot... <grin>

"Shaddup brat." whispered Urd gazing with equal, if differently

Isn't that a little sharp, even for Urd?

NEXT : PART 2 : LESSONS ARE LEARNED

Soon, I hope! 

Overall, *very* nice.  Definitely goes into my personal archive.

-- Bob

-- 
===============================================================================
Robert M. Schroeck            || "When in trouble or in doubt,
rms@cnj.digex.net             ||     Run in circles, scream and shout."
http://www.cnj.digex.net/~rms || I have no mouse and I must scream.