Solid read...and almost entirely in character.
I personally don't think Kazuya is *that* nasty,
but I can see how one could interpret him that way.
Since no one knows for certain how ESPer powers
work, your extention of his abilities aren't that
implausible. It might be interesting to know
if anyone else in the Kasuga clan abilities have
changed over the years as well.
You've made it plain which "side" you have
Akane choosing. Just FYI, I'm aware of
both arguments, but for the most part, I and KOC
tend to leave it alone because Matsumoto told
me in '94 he planned for her to be "just
going through a phase" and eventually would
have married a guy. However, I've also heard
from people who believe that he may not remember
his own work that well and their arguements
aren't entirely w/o merit. I've heard from
many sources that sometimes character-driven
storylines can have characters getting away from
their own creators.
One thing in particular: Your plot is almost
entirely identical to an upcoming planned KOC
arc involving a new char our ML dubbed "the
evil ESPer". I hadn't brought in the Yakuza
in mine, but much of what you have Kazuya doing
in this is similar to what has been planned
for that character. FYI, our evil ESPer
is planned to be girl and not a relative of
Kasuga (my understanding based on my interview
with Matsumoto back in '94 is that the Kasugas
are not the only ESPers in existance).
Stephen Tsai