Wedding Blitz

By: Lord Archive

Rumiko Takahashi and several companies have the rights to these
characters. I'm just taking creative liberties with them. Any possible
profit I make from this is immediately taken Nabiki (along with the rest
of my money).

---------------------------

Inside the Tendo Dojo, Onna-Ranma, Shampoo, Gosunkugi, Hiroshi, Akane,
Kuno, Rouge, Pantyhose, Ukyou, Soun, Yuka, Ryoga, Konatsu, Kodachi,
Azusa, Dr. Tofu, Nabiki, Daisuke, Mousse, Ms. Hinako, Mikado, Sayuri, Ryu
Kumon, and Asuka the white lily were all asleep in a haphazard pile. From
the stench and empty Sake bottles, it was obvious they had all drunk
themselves to sleep the night before. 

Ryoga slowly woke up to what could be called a roaring hang-over. He
looked around and noticing where he was and didn't have a clue as to how
he got there or what happened the night before.

Shampoo woke in a similar state as Ryoga. She cursed in Chinese about
indulging in too much drinking the night before. She just wished she
could remember last night.

Akane was the next to stir. She to had a hangover and couldn't remember
much about the previous night, except something about a wedding. She
looked at her hand. "Kami-sama! I'm married!" she screamed at the sight
of a plain, gold-plated ring on her finger.

Everyone woke up and cursed Akane, her scream, their hangover, and/or
their lack of control.

"W-who am I m-married to?" Akane asked.

All the guys looked at their hand and saw a plain, gold-plated ring.

Soun started to cry somehow he had gotten drunk and married his little
girl and couldn't remember it. He was startled when he heard several guys
announce they were her husband.

Ranma, who had been looking dumbly at the ring on her finger, became
immediately upset at the guys saying they had married Akane. "Hold it!
There is no way you all married her!"

Pantyhose grinned and moved to the corner of the room to watch. He
remember much of what happened last night, though some of it he had a
hard time recalling. Judging by the way he remembered everyone had been
drinking then, he was probably the only one in the room who could. He
wasn't about to tell them anything.

Akane stared at everyone in the room in shock. She wondered quickly if
she somehow married all of them.

Most of the guys, including Ranma, began to argue who was married to
Akane. They were silenced by an angry shout from Nabiki, "All right! Who
in this room does NOT have a wedding ring?" In her hand was a wedding ring
with, 'Complements of Chapel of Fated Love,' inscribed in it.

There was no response.

"We all got married last night?!" several people chorused.

"Shampoo we are married now!" Mousse elated.

Shampoo punched him into a wall. "Shampoo no marry Mousse even if dead
drunk! Shampoo finally marry Ranma."

"What do you mean you married Ranma? I married him!"

Akane was getting upset at Kuno, Mikado, Ryoga, and Gosunkugi fighting
over who was her husband, at Ranma for not being a part of that fight, at
Ukyou and Shampoo fighting over being married to Ranma, and at the fact
that somehow her family and her friends had somehow all gotten married
and they couldn't remember any of it. Her anger vanished when she saw how
frighten Ranma was, he seemed to be counting something. Akane looked
around the room and noticed something odd. A quick count made her realize
what Ranma was afraid of, there were thirteen guys and only eleven girls.
Ranma might have married a guy.

Asuka sat to the side of the room muttering to herself, "Why did I marry
him?"

Nabiki scanned the room, someone had to know what happened last night.
Most people were either in a state of shock or fighting over who was
married to whom, none of them could really remember last night. Then she
noticed Pantyhose watching everything with an amused grin on his face.
"Tarou, care to tell me what happened last night?"

He gave her an evil smirk. "No."

"Why not?"

"It's more fun watching them make fools of themselves than to tell."

"Maybe it is, but I want to know whom I'm married to."

"I couldn't do that. Just sit back and watch them. I particularly like
the look fem-boy has on his face right now."

"He's scared of something," Nabiki noted.

"Yep. He's noticed there are more guys in the room than girls."

Nabiki looked around the room. "You do know Ukyou is a girl." She pointed
at the person waving a giant spatula at an irate Amazon.

"Yes. And that person is a guy dressed as a girl."

"Oh right. Konatsu." Nabiki grimaced, not just at the implication that
two guys might of gotten married, but also that she had forgotten who he
was for a moment. She vowed to never get drunk again if it could impair
her thinking like it had. 

Nabiki decided the next course of action was to find the wedding
certificates. She hoped she would find that they weren't valid. She
looked around the dojo, and found no sign of them. She left to find
either the certificates or Kasumi or the Saotomes in hopes they could
tell here what happened.

Ukyou and Shampoo began to fight physically. The guys fighting over Akane
did likewise, giving Gosunkugi a nice nap as he was knocked out by one
punch.

"Ranma?" Akane asked approaching him.

"Please tell me I didn't marry a guy," he replied in a frightened
whisper.

"Probably not. I seem to remember Kasumi and Akari here last night... but
I'm not sure."

"I hope so... Er, at least if they did, they married the one they wanted
to."

Akane nodded. She couldn't bring herself to ask who he hoped he married
last night. She just stood there, hoping she did marry Ranma.

Hiroshi looked dumbly at Daisuke. "I got married and I can't remember the
honeymoon."

"I don't think I got a honeymoon," Daisuke said.

Sayuri and Yuka held each other crying. Both praying they either married
someone that they could get a quick divorce from or hit the jackpot.

Nabiki returned to the dojo with a strange look on her face. "Ranma," she
called. 

Ranma gulped as she went towards Nabiki, hoping they hadn't married each
other. Ranma sighed in relief seeing the teakettle Nabiki had brought.
<Nabiki must really be out of it. She isn't charging me for it.> Ranma
went outside and changed back to avoid certain people seeing him change.
He gave another sigh of relief seeing Kasumi and Akari approach the dojo.
They all entered the dojo.

Pantyhose's eyes brightened as the new arrivals entered.

"Sorry I wasn't here when you all woke up," Kasumi apologized. "I was
making breakfast for all of us."

"Can you tell us what happened last night?" Ranma asked.

"Well, this all started when Mr. and Mrs. Saotome renewed their wedding
vows," Akari began.

Several of those gather nodded their heads, remembering now why they were
there in the first place.

The rest shrugged as they arrived because of some other reason.

"Then during the reception and after a couple drinks, Ranma proposed and
married Akane. Mrs. Hinako stopped those that were opposed to the
wedding."

"What?!" screamed most of the people in the room.

Ranma looked at Akane with a nervous smile. His smile lost it's
nervousness when he noticed Akane was smiling back at him.

Soun cried tears of joy.

Those who wanted to react violently to this news kept quiet to find out
who they married and to not incur the wrath of the child holding a
fifty-yen coin.

"Then Ryoga married me," Akari continued, showing her wedding ring.

Ryoga sighed. He did really like Akari enough to make it work, and had
realized Akane didn't love him.

"Then I married Dr. Tofu," Kasumi added.

Dr. Tofu fainted.

Pantyhose frowned. He thought he married Kasumi.

"And Nabiki married Tatewaki," Kasumi continued.

Kuno stared at Nabiki in shock.

"We'll talk later Tendo-chan," Nabiki said.

"Tendo-chan?" he asked.

"You took my family name."

Ku... Tendo Tatewaki wonder what twisted pleasure kami was getting out of
this.

Akari continued telling what happen the previous night, "After that, most
of you were getting really drunk. Kasumi and I tried to stop the rest of
you getting married, but you wouldn't listen. The next wedding was Hinako
and Tarou's."

Ranma started to laugh, and Akane playfully elbowed him.

Pantyhose looked shocked at the little girl who asked, "Who's Tarou?" He
raised his hand.

Hinako rushed towards him. "You're my husband?"

"You can't be my wife. She was older, taller, and a has a great body."

Hinako nodded. "That'd be me after I've absorbed someone's chi."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-five years old."

<I'm going to hate this. I just know it.> Tarou thought gloomily.

Kasumi continued, "After that, Yuka and Mikado got married."

"I married him?" Yuka stared at Mikado. <Jackpot!>

Mikado looked at her. <Could of done worse.>

Kasumi nodded to Yuka. "And Hikaru married Rouge."

"Rouge?" Hikaru asked, looking at a woman who nodded in reply. They gave
the other questionable stares.

"Sayuri and Ryu followed them," Kasumi added.

Sayuri, by process of elimination, looked Ryu. "Hi," she greeted him
nervously.

"Sayuri? I suggest we talk and get to know each other."

Sayuri nodded.

"Then Ukyou and Daisuke got married next," Akari said.

Daisuke fell to his knees and screamed, "YES!"

Ukyou rolled her eyes.

"They were followed by Kodachi and Konatsu," Akari continued.

"Who is this Konatsu?" Kodachi asked.

"I am," Konatsu said, wearing a kimono.

"I married a girl?!"

"No! I'm really a guy. I was raised as a girl."

Kodachi vowed to make someone pay for this insult.

Shampoo was becoming very nervous, she there were only three men left.

"Next was Azusa and Mousse," Akari added.

"I married some hair care product?" Azusa asked.

Mousse frowned looking at the girl. "No, my name is Mousse."

Ranma almost made a comment about them being a good match considering
Mousse's abilities, but he was enjoying how Akane was leaning against him
and didn't want to get her upset at the moment.

"Then Shampoo married Hiroshi," Akari said.

Hiroshi gave Shampoo a hentai grin.

<At least I didn't marry Mousse,> Shampoo thought.

"The final wedding was Asuka and Soun's," Akari finished.

Akane and Ranma became sick from this thought.

"I want it annulled now!" Asuka screamed.

"It'll be done before this day is over, within the hour if possible,"
Nabiki said, her voice a bit shaken. "Anyone else want their wedding
annulled quickly?"

Several people stared at Ranma and Akane.

"What?" Ranma noticing he somehow become the center of attention.

"Are you going to get a quick annulment?" Ukyou asked.

Ranma looked down at Akane. He saw her frightened look and the slight
shaking of her head. "No. I won't get it annulled."

"A divorce?" Ukyou asked, hoping beyond hope.

She didn't get a verbal answer as she saw Ranma and Akane staring deeply
into each others eyes and smiling.

--------------------------------------

Two weeks later, a reunion, of sorts, occurred at the Saotome Dojo.

"Fine Ranma! You don't want to eat my cooking, you can sleep on the
roof!" Akane yelled.

"You dare refuse to eat the food lovingly crafted by your wife!"

"Shut-up, Tendo-sempai!" Ranma sneered at his brother-in-law.

"Here you go Nabiki," Konatsu said handing a roll of film to her.

"Thanks, Bro," Nabiki said. <It's a good thing Kodachi and you sat down
and talked. Though, I'm surprised at just how much you two have in
common.>

Yuka shook her head. "Seventeen and getting a divorce."

"You should have known Mikado would be unfaithful," Sayuri said.

"Yeah. I guess I hoped for too much. At least you were smart enough to
get it annulled."

"That was stupid of you to consummate that marriage."

"I know," Yuka said sadly.

"You're not so bad. Now if we can find some way to keep you from
returning to your child state," Pantyhose said.

Mrs. Hinako, in her adult form, glared at Tarou. "My child form is part
of who I am. While I would like to remain an adult, you have to accept
both forms."

Pantyhose nodded. "Well, I understand that. You'd have to accept my other
form and my name."

Mrs. Hinako sighed. "We can give it a try. But I won't promise you
anything."

"Hiroshi, what happened to you?" Daisuke asked.

Hiroshi, covered in bandages, replied, "Failed to pass Amazon initiation.
I'm not married anymore."

"You neither, huh? Ukyou threatened to become a widow if we didn't get it
annulled. Hey, Hikaru? Are you still married?"

Gosunkugi shook his head. "I don't fit in her plans."

"Azusa, please stop taking stuff. If you want something, I'll try to see
if I have it in my robes. Okay?" Mousse said sternly.

"But Dear, I want Francine," the girl pouted at her husband.

Mousse shook his head at Azusa, who had somehow passed Cologne's test and
was allowed to be his wife. He'd have to break several Amazon laws to get
a divorce.

"Akane, where's Kasumi?" Soun asked.

"She's still on her honeymoon, Daddy," Akane said bitterly. <Wish I had
one. At least I don't have to call Asuka, Mommy.>

Genma and Nodoka watched as several couples celebrated their second week
wedding aniversery.

"The plan worked a bit better than expected," Nodoka sighed.

"Yes. Having Ranma and Akane see a wedding and getting caught up into it
was an excellent idea Dear. And I must say the abundance of Sake was an
additional touch of genius on my part."

"Except there was too much abundance. Everyone, including Soun, got
drunk and married. Half the couples had to get their wedding annuled."

"I wonder what possessed everyone to get married?"

Nodoka shrugged. "I guess they all got caught up into it after all the
Tendo girls got married."

Happosai cursed Cologne for keeping him away from the weddings. All that
love potions gone to waste. Funny thing was most of the guests hadn't been
affected by the potion. When he checked them after everyone had gotten
married already, the dosage was too little to have an affect on only those
married towards the end.

-------

"Oh look, Ryoga! Niagara Falls! Isn't it romantic?" Akari said. <What a
great place for a honeymoon.>

"Um, yeah," Ryoga said sheepishly. He looked at a map. <Now, how do I get
to Mount Fuji from here?>

-------

"Great-grandmother, what does Shampoo do now? Ranma married violent-girl."
Shampoo asked.

"I was about to suggest to you we take a little trip," Cologne replied.

"A trip? Where?"

"The Musk Dynasty. There's someone I want you to talk to."

-----------------
Author's Note:
Just a little fic for Febuary 14th. Hope you enjoyed it.



			 / LORD ARCHIVE \
************************************************************************
* The JAFO otaku.    *        A Knight of The True Fiancee, Akane.     *
* Slave of GRAAC     *     Addiction, The Footman of the Appocalypse.  *
************************************************************************
*      Web Page: http://www.mich.com/~archive - Ranma fan-fiction      * 
************************************************************************