Ranma 1/100th Vol. 2
Your Wish is my Command
Chapter 2
Credits:
Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division
Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, President for Life
(chance of parole in 20 years)
Lee (Grey Wolf): Pun Minister, Guy We Rub For Luck
Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Breath Weapon Specialist
Craig (Dr. Ruminahui): Minister of Foreign Affairs
(until we caught him at it)
Series Concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine
(Someone else caught in El Hazard;
Officer who assigned VF-19s to the 801st TTS;
unnamed guy who slits his gut (any samurai anime))
Based on works and an idea from: Takahashi Rumiko-megamisama
Previously on Ranma 1/100th:
Akane seems to undergo weird shifts in behaviour (and cooking
abilities). As well,
everyone managed to find dates for an upcoming dance...but only
the Kuno siblings were happy
with their partners.
______________________________
Easing himself in, Ranma sighed deeply and tried to enjoy the
soothing warmth of the
bath. However much he looked forward to a hot bath after a long
day of abuse, he found he just
couldn't relax today. Too many weird things had happened, and his
mind wouldn't let them go.
Rubbing his fingers over his face, he frowned and began to
mutter to himself. "As if
school wasn't bad enough as is, now we get some sort of stupid
dance to go to. And of course,
the dumb girls go and get all excited over it, and naturally I get
dragged into it." Arms now
dangling over the tub's edge, his probing fingers latched onto a
bar of soap and he
absentmindedly picked it up.
"And what was that dumb jerk Akane thinking? Deciding to go
with Kuno-sempai; I
mean, how stupid can you get?" Here he mimicked a high-pitched
girl's voice, "'Well, he asked
me out before you did, and I couldn't just say no could I? That
would have been rude of me.'"
He crushed the bar of soap so tight it popped out of his hand,
flew into a wall, rebounded and
smacked him right in the forehead.
Rubbing his new bruise, he grimaced. "Rude? Yeah, right;
like she's ever been concerned
about being rude before. All she ever does is center her life
around being rude. After all, she's
always bugging and annoying me and bothering...ah...bothering..."
He stopped here and seemed
to think for a moment. "Hmm...well, I can't seem to think of
anyone else she bothers on a regular
basis...but there has to be someone," he finished, sounding so
sure of himself.
Returning to a safer line of thought, he continued his tirade.
"I just can't understand what
she was thinking...provided she ever thinks. She's just so damn
violent and rude and uncute and
unfeminine. What guy could possibly want to put up with such a
chick anyway?"
<Kuno,> his mind replied.
"Well, sempai is an idiot-"
<Ryoga.>
"He's never really had a girlfriend before so-"
<Gosunkugi.>
"Come on-"
<Kirin.>
"Yeah, but-"
<Toma.>
"Wait a minute-"
<Shinnosuke.>
"Just a-"
<And how about y->
"ENOUGH ALREADY!" He shouted, slightly annoyed he was in the
process of losing an
argument with himself. Slapping his cheeks once, he rose out of
the bath and stepped out of the
tub. Standing still for a moment, he glared off at nothing in
particular.
"And thanks to you, you dumb Akane, I'm going to the dance
with Kodachi." He shivered
slightly. "That's not a date I'm looking forward to."
He was just reaching for a towel when the sliding door was
suddenly slammed open so
forcefully that it jumped off its track. Ranma lurched back in
surprise and tripped over the
wooden bathroom stool. Eyes wide, the pig-tailed boy stared up at
the two figures that hovered
in the doorway, radiating anger.
"R A N M A - K U N ! ! !" Soun bellowed, his large demonic
head taking up most of the
head-room in the place. "WHAT IS THIS I HEAR?!? YOU'RE GOING TO
A DANCE
WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER BY YOUR SIDE!?!"
Incomprehensible sounds issued from Ranma's lips as he tried
to scamper away on his
butt. Genma stepped forwards, tears rolling from his eyes, "Son!
How could you abandon your
fiancee?! I can not believe such shameful behaviour from you!
How have I failed?! Have I not
raised you to be a man?!"
"HOW COULD YOU NOT ASK MY DAUGHTER OUT!?!"
"But...but I..." Ranma stuttered. Fearful, he jumped up,
twisted aside and shattered the
faucet with a punch. As cold water sprayed around the room,
Ranma-chan looked back at the
father and panda, then struck up a demure pose. "But I'm just a
girl! It's the boy's duty to ask
for a date!"
Ranma-chan was busy running through the hallways of the house,
trying to dodge a rather
enraged Soun. She'd managed to lose the panda in the kitchen, but
Soun was made of sterner
stuff; besides, he'd eaten recently. Dressed in her boxer shorts
and a towel over her shoulders,
the red-head was only a few steps ahead of the no-dachi wielding,
samurai-armour wearing
father, who had rather unpleasant things in mind when he caught
her.
"It's not my fault!" Ranma cried.
"Take your punishment like a man!"
Finally, Soun had Ranma trapped against one of the walls of
the family room. Standing
over the youth's body, Tendo had tears running in streams down his
face, the giant sword held
high above his head. "This is it Ranma-kun...here you will pay
for the crimes you have
committed against my daughter!"
"Ojisan! Please don't!" Ranma begged.
"Nothing can save you now!" Soun shouted as he brought the
sword down with all the
force he could muster, aimed right towards Ranma's head...
"Taidaima!" Nabiki called as she and Akane walked into the
main room, arms laidened
with packages. "Otosan, I was just telling Akane here that it's
too bad Kasumi-oneechan isn't
home. She'd just love to see the whole new wardrobes Akane and I
got to complement our
brand new gowns for the dance. By the way," she continued,
seemingly ignorant of the fact her
father was busy threatening their house-guest, "thanks for the use
of your credit card."
Sword an inch from Ranma's head, Soun froze, petrified, and
then crumbled to dust at his
daughter's words. After a moment's pause, a gentle autumn breeze
blew the shattered remains of
the father out the door.
"I think he took that rather well," Nabiki noted calmly.
While they were waiting for dinner, Nabiki happened to glance
at Ranma-chan. "So
Ranma-kun, when are you going to get sized for your suit? Or in
your present condition, your
dress?" Ranma looked back with a bored expression.
"What? I was thinking of going like I usually do."
"Ranma-kun, the dress code might be inexcusably lax when it
applies to you, but this isn't
just a regular event. The principal has declared that this is
going to be a formal occasion, so not
even you can get away with a kung-fu shirt and loose jeans."
"We'll see about that," Ranma replied. She was cut off when
Panda came running into the
room and headed for the garden doors. "Hey, Oyaji! What's up?"
{Akane's in the kitchen!} his sign said, trying to work the
latch on the door with the other
paw.
"Don't worry about it," Nabiki said calmly. "I convinced
Akane to pick up some take out
while we were shopping."
Panda sighed and came back in to sit down. A once again whole
Soun, sans the armour,
also entered and joined the group.
"Well," Soun began, to take his mind off the large number of
parcels his daughters had
brought home, "It's good that we're going to be able to eat at
home like a normal family tonight."
"Dinner's on!" Akane called as she walked in, carrying a tray
full of chicken. Soun looked
down at the food suspiciously.
"Umm, Nabiki, if this is take out, where are the boxes it came
in?"
Blinking, Nabiki looked confused, and glanced over at her
sister.
"Oh don't worry about that," Akane said, smiling as she handed
out food. "By the time
we'd gotten home, the food was all cold. I just took it out of
its packages and re-heated it in the
microwave."
The cozy atmosphere of the room dropped a few degrees.
Everyone started to edge away slightly, then Ranma-chan
actually stopped and seemed to
think for a moment. To the stunned amazement of all present,
except Akane who seemed
oblivious to the state of near panic, the red-head returned to her
place by the table.
"Well," Ranma began, "since you seem to have learned, I guess
I can trust you to actually
use a microwave properly."
"Is this true?!" Soun demanded, looking torn between love for
his daughter and
self-preservation.
"Hey, I'm not sure about what happened at breakfast, but lunch
was delicious. And made
by Akane."
The others started to slowly slink back, Panda looking
exceptionally nervous. Ranma
sighed. "Look, as long as she didn't do anything else to it, it
ought to be OK, shouldn't it?"
They reluctantly nodded.
"Akane," Ranma asked. "Did you do anything to this food other
then warm it up?"
The youngest Tendo girl seemed to think for a moment. "Well,
I did think it would lose
its flavour after re-heating, so I did add a little spice-"
Without looking back, Panda tore out of the house and raced
down the street.
"-but I didn't add too much, as I felt that would be overdoing
it."
Everyone else, heading for any convenient exit, heard her
mention restraint in the same
sentence as cooking, and paused. Looking back at her, who was
watching them with wide,
slightly confused eyes, they felt the subtle pull of family
obligation. Normally able to resist the
compulsion, Nabiki and Soun both returned to the table. After a
moment, Ranma-chan followed,
glancing at the food as if she expected it to leap up and attack
her.
"I suppose we must try," Nabiki muttered.
"Yes, for the collective stake of the Tendo family, we must."
her father answered. Each
picked up a chicken leg, held it before them, took a deep breath,
and shoved the food down
Ranma's throat.
Ranma coughed, gagged, and made angry noises that failed to
get beyond the food stuffed
in her mouth. After a moment, she started to breath again, and
began chewing. As the two
others looked on in amazement, Ranma continued to chew, paused,
spit out the two bones, and
swallowed the meat.
"It's good! Like lunch, it's good! Akane, you've done it!
Two meals in a row! You've
set a record!"
Akane smiled gently, lowering her eyes. "Thank you Ranma.
I'm glad you enjoyed it."
The two other Tendo's looked on amazed, then cautiously took
bites. After a moment,
Nabiki grinned at her sister, and their father let loose another
flood of tears.
"It's good!"
* * *
Next morning, as the sun rose on the lovely day, Ranma was
pushing his reluctant father
into the family room.
"I'm telling you Oyaji, Akane won't kill you! Just ask
Ojisan, he'll tell you Akane's
cooking is fine now!"
{I'm too cute to die!} Panda signed. Ranma hit him.
"Breakfast!" Akane called, walking in. Panda broke free and
tried to run for the hills.
Ranma hit him again. Harder.
"Fine! Go without for all I care!" Ranma said and sat down.
Panda was about to continue his flight when he noticed that
Soun was also sitting there,
eagerly awaiting the arrive of his youngest daughter and her
home-cooked morning meal. Seeing
this, Panda stared for a moment, trying to make a decision.
Eventually, the possibility of getting
good food overcame his better judgment.
Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd made such a choice.
Only after all the other's had begun to dig into their meals
(and not keel over) did Panda
cautiously sniff, then take a taste of the bounty before him.
After that, it was nearly impossible to keep him from anyone's
food.
"You don't have to like it that much!" Ranma shouted, fighting
his father for his own
share.
"I'm really glad Saotome-Ojisama is enjoying the meal," Akane
said pleasantly. "I'm so
sorry if breakfast wasn't very good yesterday. It's all my
fault."
"Don't worry about it," Soun replied, joyfully filling his
face. "Ranma-kun said you
cooked a good dinner the night before, as well as lunch yesterday.
Supper last night was superb,
and this is a marvelous feast. I'm sure there is a simple reason
why we didn't like breakfast
yesterday."
{There is a possibility,} Panda signed, still stuffing his
muzzle. {It did occur in the
morning,} he flipped the sign around. {And it seems to have
lessened with the passage of
time...}
Soun looked at his friend hopefully. "Saotome-kun, you don't
mean...do you truly
think..."
{It can be none other. Nothing else can possibly explain it.}
"What?" Ranma asked, interested.
"Why," Soun said, with fierce determination. "The only
possible explanation for this
change in her. Something that could truly make a difference."
"What?" Ranma demanded.
"{Morning sickness!!!}" Both fathers signed and shouted at
the same instant; each putting
an arm around their respective child's shoulders. "{Oh how we've
waited for this day!!}"
Ranma, his face flaming, punched this father right through the
roof. Akane on the other
hand, wasn't even rosy and was gently trying to get her father to
stop crying since it was ruining
the floor mats.
* * *
On the way to school, Ranma was strolling along to top of the
drainage fence, yaking in a
slightly annoyed manner at the girl following him.
"I can't believe all the stuff I had to pack away last night.
You and Nabiki sure picked up
a lot of things on that little shopping trip of your's."
"Well Ranma, you know that this dance is going to be formal.
We had to get a few more
things then if we were just going casual," Akane replied quietly
and evenly. Ranma had to turn
his head to catch her words; for some reason she was walking about
three paces behind him
down on the sidewalk. That in itself was unusual: normally she
walked beside him or a couple of
steps ahead, depending on how mad she was with him at the time.
Grunting in reply, he slowed
his pace to allow her to catch up.
"So I assume you picked out whatever it is you're going to
wear?"
Akane nodded. "The gown will need a little work to get it
ready, but there's nothing to
worry about. I just hope it will go with whatever Kuno-sempai is
going to wear."
Akane's innocent sounding remark had the affect of shooting
arrows into Ranma's back.
Turning to glare at her, he noticed that when he'd slowed down,
she'd also slacked her pace,
keeping her position relative to him. He frowned, trying to
figure out what she was doing.
Exasperated, he finally asked, "Akane, what's going on here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Come on," he replied, "You don't think this is all a little
too weird? You're talking as if
you're interested in going to the dance with Kuno! And your
cooking! I mean, you're actually on
a roll. Two good meals in a row; at one time I'd never have
thought that possible. As well,
you're usually telling me to hurry up in the mornings! You're not
acting like yourself. Hell, I'd
almost say you were-" He suddenly stopped.
"I was what?" Akane asked innocently, cocking her head gently
at him. Ranma didn't
answer, and he halted, looking around. His spine was shivering as
a cold chill ran through his
body; a premonition of danger. Below him, Akane stopped as well,
looking around confused.
Searching the alley, Ranma saw someone lurking around a far
corner, and tore off towards them.
"Hey you!"
The face at the end of the wall disappeared. He arrived and
jumped to the ground, but
there was no sign of anyone. He glanced around suspiciously as
Akane walked up.
"Ranma? Is something wrong?"
"I don't know...I thought I saw someone here. Yesterday Ukyou
was telling me about a
bunch of unfamiliar guys hanging around, almost as if they're
looking for something."
Akane tilted her head and smiled sweetly. "Oh, I'm sure its
just some grade 9 students
checking out their future high school."
"I don't think so," Ranma muttered, frowning slightly.
Cocking his head, he thought he
heard a sound carried on the breeze; some sort of fading tune
perhaps, but he just couldn't be
sure. Still with a frown, he headed off towards the school
grounds, giving Akane a little push on
the back to get her walking with him.
Inside the gates, waiting on the path that led to the main
door, was Kuno. Head held tall
and proud, the 'Blue Thunder' gazed forth at the two freshmen who
approached him through the
crowd of incoming students. "Ah, the light the sun hath shone
down since the dawn does now
mine eyes reach as the very window to my soul gazes upon the fair
maiden who has graced this
one so noble servant with her presence so soon on his arm. I bid
unto you, Tendo Akane, ohayo
gozaimas."
Ranma stopped, his frown getting deeper. He glanced over to
see what Akane's reaction
to all this was, then had to look over his shoulder as she was
again standing a few paces behind
him.
"Kuno-sempai," she began, bowing politely. "Ohayo gozaimas.
I'm glad to see you're
looking so well."
Ranma looked very annoyed; Kuno's face lit up, joy evident on
his features. "Oh Tendo
Akane! I can not put into words the warmth my soul feels when you
say such sweet things to
me!" Nonetheless, he tried.
"It is the heat of an exploding sun, the fire from a well
baked meal, the melting of the ice
caps under the green house effect!" He pulled out a bouquet of
roses. "It is the warmth of my
love for you!" he shouted as he leapt towards her.
Ranma stomped Kuno's head into the pavement. Glaring at
Akane, he opened his mouth
to tell her something. Blinking in an innocent manner, she cocked
her head slightly and looked
back at him. "Yes, Ranma? Is there something wrong?"
After a moment of silence, Ranma slammed his jaw closed and
stomped off into school.
Akane fell in a few steps behind him.
Unnoticed, the rest of the school body trod indoors; using
Kuno to wipe their feet.
* * *
Sitting on the bleachers, Ranma and his friends were waiting
for their time at bat. The
boy's P.E. class was, as always, unofficially divided into two
groups; those watching the game,
and those watching the girls play soccer.
Naturally, Hiroshi and Daisuke were of the latter group. "So
did you get a date for the
dance yet?" Hiroshi asked.
"Yeah," Daisuke replied. "She finally cornered me in the hall
and just kept staring at me
until I gave in and asked her. How about you?"
"She made me lunch," Hiroshi said, not taking his eyes from
the girls. "I didn't have any
choice, did I?"
"Ohh...you got hooked bad," his friend agreed. "How 'bout
you, Ranma?"
"Huh?" Ranma replied, having paid attention to the baseball
game rather then either the
girls or the conversation.
"You ask Akane to the dance yet?"
Ranma recoiled as if struck. He turned back to watch the next
guy at bat and hunched
over slightly. "That kawaikune girl? Not a chance!" There was a
pause before he finally spit
out, "Anyway...Kuno already asked her out."
"Kuno-sempai!" Both Hiroshi and Daisuke gasped. Eyes wide
with surprise, they looked
at each other.
"Lucky guy," Daisuke muttered.
"Poor girl," Hiroshi returned.
"Like I care what she does," Ranma continued, sounding a
little bitter. "I've got my own
date."
"Ukyou?"
"Uh...no."
"Heh...I thought there was a reason why she was ignoring you
this morning. I guess it's
that cute Shampoo then."
"Uh...no."
Hiroshi began ticking off his fingers. "Not Akane, not Ukyou,
not Shampoo. Unless
someone else's arrived that we don't know about, that only
leaves-"
"Kodachi?!" Both shouted, shocked. Ranma grunted as the
batter ahead of him struck
out. Picking up a bat, he headed towards the plate.
<Like I care,> he repeated to himself. <That masculine dork
can just go and do what she
wants! 'I'm glad you're looking so well this morning,'> he
mimicked. Stepping up to the plate, he
glanced over at the girls' soccer game.
On the field, he saw Akane playing defense, something she
didn't often do. She generally
preferred offense <Like the tomboy she is,> Ranma thought. He saw
someone race towards her
with the ball, and deliver a strong kick.
Akane shrieked and ducked, covering her head as the ball
passed by; nowhere near her.
Ranma gasped. <What the...?>
Hinako-chan blew her whistle and Tokyo Shuffled over to Akane,
who looked up,
blinked, then laughed.
"Good going Tendo-san!" The sensei said. "You're really
getting into the spirit of the
game! That's enough for today girls, now hit the showers! You've
all earned a nice hot one!"
Blinking in shock, Ranma stared; he couldn't believe what he'd
just seen. Akane shrieking
and ducking? What was going on?
There was a rush of air followed by a meaty TWACK. Ranma
crashed to the plate with a
baseball where his nose had once been.
"Saotome, take your base," the umpire called.
* * *
Having finished shop, Ranma wandered through the school to
kill time. <I just can't shake
this strange feeling that something isn't right,> he thought as he
moved through the crowds. <It's
dumb, but I just can't shake it.>
"Hey Ranma," Daisuke called. Ranma looked up and saw there
were a lot of guys waiting
in a cluster.
"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Glancing up to read the
door identifier, he saw the
gang was hanging outside the home Ec room.
"Come on Ranma," Hiroshi informed him. "Today's the day the
girls bake in Home Ec.
Why do you think we're hanging around?"
"Oh yeah," muttered Ranma, a look of recognition dawning on
his face. "I knew there
was a reason I generally avoid this place."
He turned to leave, then paused. <Wait a minute...I don't
have to worry anymore. Dinner
was good last night, so was breakfast, and she even made a yummy
lunch too...three good meals
in a row. She's learned.> Taking a deep breath, he turned back
and waited with the rest of the
guys. <Come to think about it, a snack might be just what I need
to clear my head.>
The sounds of giggling and girls' voices came from the room,
then the door slid aside.
One by one individual girls left the room, each carrying a tasty
morsel wrapped in a handkerchief.
Quickly, individual guys surrounded certain girls, and further
giggles or timid proposals for dance
dates could be heard in the hall.
"Ranma!" Akane said as she walked up to him. He noticed she
had a donut held in her
hands. At least he guessed it was a donut, although it seemed
more square then circular and
possessed more then one hole.
"You make that?"
"Of course!" Akane replied brightly. He shivered for a moment
in a conditioned reaction
to seeing her with food. Her eyes narrowed and she stared hard at
him. "You are going to try it,
aren't you?" Ranma took a deep breath.
"Yeah, I guess since you've learned to cook, I might as well
enjoy it." He picked up the
donut; Akane smiled and looked up at him as he moved it towards
his mouth...
A bokken blade flashed in and speared the donut through one of
its holes, tearing it from
Ranma's grip. "Iie! Saotome!" Kuno said as he stood there,
bokken held in a guard position,
donut near the tip. "What seek you, to come between the lady and
myself? She who is to be my
companion did so graciously make this morsel of delight for me and
me alone. You should not
pester her so; go seek my sister if you desire tidbits."
"Stay out of this, sempai!" Akane said, very annoyed.
"But my dear Akane-kun," he began, his poetry switching from
martial to flowery in but a
breath. "You have been courteous enough to agree to accompany me
to the festival, how can I
possibly contain myself as I overflow with joy?"
Akane looked uncertain. "I-its true you asked me," she began,
sounding as if she was
having doubts about having said yes; then she hardened her voice.
"But just because I agreed to
go with you doesn't mean that I-"
"Oh come on now Akane," Ranma said, a snide attitude reflected
in his voice and posture.
He nudged her lightly with his shoulder, "Why don't you give some
to Kuno? After all, you were
_so_ polite to him this morning, and it wouldn't do if you were
rude."
"Who's being rude, you jerk!?" Akane yelled as she tried to
side kick Ranma. He leapt
over her leg, making a face at her as he did so. Then twisted in
the air as the 'Blue Thunder'
stuck out at him with his donut tipped bokken.
"I shall not have you speaking ill of my partner!" Kuno
shouted, wrapping an arm about
Akane's shoulders.
She tossed him out the open window. "Don't get so familiar!"
Ranma easily snagged the
bokken as Kuno flew by.
"Geez, you don't seem so concerned about being rude now," he
muttered. Akane
grabbed the bokken from him. Holding the wooden sword menacingly,
she shoved the donut
into his face.
"Are you going to eat it or not?"
Casually removing the donut, Ranma grunted. "Don't know what
I was worried about
before. Looks like you're almost back to normal: you're uncute,
violent, and pushy. But at least
now you can cook." Flicking the donut off, he jumped up (above
her strike) and glomped the
pastry in a single gulp.
* * *
As the final bell tolled through the air, students joyfully
began to flee Furinkan High.
Among the crowd, Ranma slowly and uneasily faltered as he walked,
holding his stomach.
Walking exactly beside him, Akane had an expression on her face
that was a cross between
embarrassment and annoyance.
"I already said I'm sorry," she muttered. "I just don't
understand it, you liked breakfast
and the lunches I made. Heck, you even ate mine before I had a
chance to have any. So how
come when you bite into the donut you turn green, start twitching,
and are unable to dodge my
sword?"
Ranma's stomach rebelled for a moment when she began talking
about food. Getting it
under control, he shook his head. "I don't know how, but that
'donut' of your's reached a new
level of toxicity. I'm just lucky to be alive."
Akane frowned and was about to reply when something caught her
eye. Turning sharply,
she saw someone hiding behind a tree, his gaze flickering between
the departing students. When
he saw that she was looking at him, the guy panicked and bolted.
She turned to see if Ranma had
caught a glimpse.
Ranma, busy dry-heaving, hadn't noticed.
"Ohh, I don't think I can take much more of this," Ranma
groaned. "At least before, I
knew enough to stay away from your cooking. Now, it's like
playing a twisted game of Russian
Roulette with you."
"That's not true," Akane said stiffly. Ranma looked at her
for a second, then nodded.
"You're right; Russian Roulette only has one bullet in the
gun. Your cooking doesn't give
me odds that good."
"If you don't like it, why do you keep eating it!?" she
asked, slamming her school bag on
his head.
"If you don't like Kuno-sempai, why are you going to the dance
with him?" Ranma
countered, not answering. Akane blinked, surprised at the
question Ranma had raised.
"Well?"
"Why," she responded, grinning slightly. "Are you jealous?"
"As if! I just...I just..." he glanced around quickly to make
sure no one was within
earshot. "I just want to know why you chose him." Akane blinked
again, uneasily Unsure, she
glanced down at her feet, thinking it over.
"I-I really don't know. Now that I think about it, I can't
understand why I agreed. At the
time, I-I..." she trailed off for a moment, her brow furrowing as
she seemed to question her own
memories. "I...I just felt that it was the proper thing to do. I
couldn't bring myself to say no to
him. It wouldn't have been..." She struggled for a moment,
looking for a word to describe how
she'd felt. "Wouldn't have been..."
Looking back up at Ranma, a cloud of confusion on her face,
she hesitantly finished,
"...right..."
The two exchanged gazes for awhile, Ranma expressing confusion
and Akane a little
trepidation. Finally, Ranma turned away. "I think," he began,
"that something isn't right with all
this. Its time we found out for sure..."
While this occurred, the figure Akane had alarmed was running
down an empty street.
Now seen clearly, it was the same boy Ranma had startled this
morning. He was of high school
age, wearing some school uniform that consisted of a blue jacket,
pants and tie. In his hands, he
carried a small flute.
Rounding the corner, he came to a sudden stop and bowed
respectfully to the person
before him. "It is as you expected. The one you seek does attend
school at Furinkan."
"Excellent," the other responded. "Assume your place, it is
almost time to commence our
struggle against that most hated of foes."
As the boy ran to assume his position, the other smiled
coldly. "Soon it will all come to
pass. My life-long rival will so feel the sting of shame and
defeat that I've carried for so long
now."
In the background, dark and powerful music, heavy on the bass
(like something done by
Danny Elfman), echoed through the streets.
[author's note: Danny Elfman wrote the scores to the first two
Batman movies. Imagine
something like that]
* * *
Ka-chunk.
Dial. Dial. Dial.
Ring...Ring...Ring...
"Come on...pick up this time..."
The young man using the pay phone was a blue-eyed,
brown-haired caucasian, with a
slight out-of-this-world cast to his features. He had a thin
vertical mark between his brows and a
small triangle on each cheekbone. His most memorable feature was
his clothing, which looked
like something out of the latest El Hazard OVA.
"Hello? Yes! I've finally done it! Kami Help Line, this is
Darken! I've been trying to get
ahold of you for the last little while! I haven't received my
transfer orders yet and I need to
know-"
The young man paused, then blinked for a moment. "Uh, this
isn't the Kami Help Line?
Who is it then?" There was a pause as the person on the other end
said something. Darken
blinked again.
"Timora's House of Ramen? Are you sure you're not the Help
Line? I've got their number
right here and-" Another pause. "No, I don't want to order
anything. Look, I'm trying to
contact the Yaggdrasil main system and-"
"Wait! Don't hang up! That was my last 10 yen coin!
Don't-!"
The figure looked down at the receiver in his hand with a
distraught expression. "He hung
up." Darken placed the phone down on its cradle and began patting
the pockets of his clothes.
"Darn it all, I hate rooting through water fountains to get change
for the phone-"
"Hey, Darken!" someone called. The kami jumped, and turned
quickly towards the voice.
"I didn't do it! Honest!" he said, managing to look worried,
terrified, and guilty all at the same
instant. Then he relaxed as he recognized the two familiar faces.
"Ranma, Akane! Nice to see you again." The kami said as the
two school kids walked up
to him. "So, what brings you here?"
"Actually Darken, we have some questions we need answered."
Darken smiled an indulgent smile full of self-importance. "Ah
yes, of course. Man's
eternal quest for knowledge and the truth. A search for answers
that eventually leads all men to
kami like myself."
"We do need help," Ranma acknowledged. "Even from a brevet
third class, limited
license, probational kami like yourself."
Darken cringed violently.
"Ah...right," he continued, noticeably less smug. "Anyway,
I'm touched that you thought
of me."
"Well," Akane began. "Tofu-sensei is out of town, so we
couldn't go to him."
"I...see."
"And Shampoo's ticked that I'm not taking her to a dance; so
we couldn't ask her
great-grandmother," Ranma continued.
"I...see."
"After that, we headed straight to you."
"I'm...overwhelmed," Darken muttered darkly. Then he returned
to his standard humour.
"So what's your problem? Questions about the afterlife? The
amount of sin on your souls?
What would happen if Ranma ever grew a mustache?"
"Actually," Ranma began, "Strange things have been happening
recently-"
"Really?" Darken replied, deadpan. "Here? Involving you? I
just can't imagine."
Ranma frowned, annoyed at the kami's cavalier attitude. "It's
kinda hard to describe, but
Akane's been acting really meek recently-"
"What's so strange about that!?" Akane demanded.
"-And she's actually been cooking decent meals occasionally."
"Whoa...that is unusual," Darken agreed. Mouth scrunched up
angrily, Akane was just
about to punch out both guys when Darken raised his hands and held
them out towards her. A
soft, blue globe of energy formed around them.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Just doing some tests," Darken assured her. "I need to get
some information before I can
begin. Don't worry, it's just standard stuff: biological pattern,
Astral pattern, sexo-psycho
pattern, over dimension, parallel pattern." He turned to Ranma.
"Oh, for the records, I'll be
needing a sample from you Ranma, just let me check Akane's aura
first."
Darken squinted at Akane while the two school kids exchanged
glances; Ranma making a
twirling motion along side his head with one finger. After a
moment, Darken straightened up,
scowling somewhat. "Ranma, move away would ya? You're too close;
your auras are
overlapping and its confusing the reading."
Ranma rolled his eyes, but took a step away. Darken looked
again; as they watched, his
scowl slowly transformed into a bewildered expression. Blinking
repeatedly, he suddenly glanced
over at Ranma, then quickly back to Akane. His head snapped
between the two, his eyes wide.
"What is it?!" Ranma asked, suddenly a little scared by the
kami's uneasiness. "Is
something wrong with Akane?"
Darken rubbed his chin; "I don't believe it," he muttered,
ignoring Ranma. Taking a deep
breath, he straightened up and looked Akane right in the eye.
"Akane...I want you to tell me
about your fiance."
"What?!" They both gasped. Glancing at each other, they
quickly turned away, faces
burning. "W-what does that have to do with anything?" she asked,
annoyed.
"Please," Darken pressed. "It's important."
Uneasily, Akane shifted her weight from one foot to the other,
thinking. "Well...he's rude,
hard to get along with, he eats like a pig, doesn't say a single
kind word, he's emotionally
immature-"
While Ranma stood there, quietly seething, Darken just nodded.
As she was talking, the
kami pulled out a small bottle from his robes and quickly poured
some water over her head.
Akane blinked once, then continued, "-and he's got a good
heart and is someone I can
trust." She blushed and looked down at her feet, no longer
shifting her weight. "And...and I can
always count on him to come through for me. I really don't know
what I'd do without him," she
finished, still gazing at her toes, a spot of rouge in her cheeks.
Ranma's jaw dropped a good two feet.
"That clinches it," Darken muttered. "I didn't believe it
when I read it in her aura, but this
action proves it; Akane is under the curse of Jhusenkyou."
"No way!" Ranma shouted. "What sort of a quack are you?!
Look at her! She didn't
change into some animal when you poured that water on her! She
just got...got..." he struggled
for a moment to describe what he'd just heard. "Got...strange!"
Darken shook his head. "Look Ranma, I know what I'm talking
about. Cursing used to
be my specialty-"
"Used to be?" Ranma asked, annoyed.
"Ever since Belldandy and her sisters left, we've been
understaffed in the heavens. Cursing
Control Division got downsized and amalgamated with other
departments, so I can't specialize
anymore. However, from multiple, all too personal experiences, I
know enough to recognize a
curse when I see one."
Ranma stared at Akane, who was watching the two boys with
wide, curious eyes. "If
she's cursed, how come she didn't change?"
"Ah, but she did, Ranma. Didn't you notice the change in
attitude she experienced?"
Ranma glanced at Darken sharply. "You mean the fact she got
all nice all of a sudden?"
Darken nodded. "Yes, unlike the rest of the local cursed
population, you and your friends
particularly, she doesn't undergo a physical alteration. It seems
as if Akane is experiencing a
mental change when the curse trigger is presented. Judging by
what I've seen in her aura and
your's, I can narrow the curse down to its specific pool."
"Well, what is it?" Ranma demanded.
Darken looked him in the eye and paused to build dramatic
tension.
Until Ranma stood on his head. "Just say it!"
"Nyannichuan."
Ranma looked stunned. "Spring of Drowned Girl? You mean..."
Darken nodded grimly.
"You mean..." Ranma turned to face Akane, who was staring back
at him innocently.
"You mean...Akane really isn't a girl normally!?" He clenched a
fist. "I always knew it!"
Darken face-faulted, then force-blasted Ranma into a wall.
"Sorry 'bout that," Darken said. "But in Akane's present
state she won't hurt a fly, and
that comment just shouldn't pass unpunished." Pulling out an
electronic notebook, the kami
seemed to consult some notes.
"Actually, it seems as if Akane is affected by a different
manifestation of the curse. My
guess is she received exposure to a concentrated form of
Nyannichuan water that had the
impurities filtered out. Such a concentrated form, if taken
internally, could result in what we're
seeing here."
"Bull," Ranma replied. "Akane is-" he paused, glanced quickly
at her, then muttered very
quietly, "Akane is a girl. How could it change her?"
"See here," Darken began, pointing to the large
Easy-To-Understand-Diagram (tm) that
had conveniently appeared from hammerspace. "As this diagram
shows, the genetic structure of
a human is made up of 46 chromosomes. These are paired into 22
sets of identical pairs, and one
set of two sex chromosomes. For females, the sex chromosomes
consist of two X's. With guys,
it's an X and a Y. The genetic information on the X chromosome is
needed for life, so the single
X is used in the guy, and the Y determines sex. Girls on the
other hand, don't have or need the
Y, but still only use one of their two X chromosomes. Since they
have in effect an 'extra' X, one
of them is deactivated via a long, boring process called 'dosage
compensation.'
"In the case of Nyannichuan affecting you Ranma, the magic
causes a transmorgification
of your Y chromosome into a deactivated X. Since you no longer
have the male genes, you
revert to a female state, but there's not too much alteration of
your system otherwise.
"In Akane's case, the concentrated dose she's received has in
effect partially activated her
normally inactive X. With this boost of female genes, it's
causing a hormonal change in the
pathways of her mind, altering her personality and actions."
Ranma looked stunned (and truth be told, a little lost). "Can
this be?"
Proud and defiant, Darken looked him in the eye. "Actually,
I'm just guessing." He
grinned and rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. "Have
to admit though, it sure sounds
better then most other techno-babble explanations you'll hear."
After Darken recovered from the justifiable beating he
received, he tried to continue the
explanation.
"The long and the short of it is that whenever Akane gets
splashed with cold water, she'll
undergo a personality shift where she'll make Kasumi look butch."
"And her cooking abilities?" Ranma asked, looking closely at
Akane.
Darken shrugged. "My guess is that the rush of hormones has
awakened her latent
cooking skills. As well, these also cause her to express the
whole range of what are
stereotypically considered to be female traits: passivity,
kindness, non-argumentiviness,
sweetness, submissiviness, compliant nature, being obedient...All
the things to make a male
chauvinist deliriously happy."
"I don't believe this," Ranma snapped, looking over the girl.
"Akane, you klutz, did you
somehow fall into a cursed pool?"
"I'm terribly sorry Ranma, I don't ever recall falling into a
Jhusenkyou pool. I can't
remember anything that might have caused this to me."
"Well, how could this have happened?!"
Darken was consulting his notes. "Off hand, I'd guess someone
obtained some water from
Nyannichuan and distilled it to remove the impurities; probably in
an attempt to alter someone's
personality. Know anyone who likes to mess with magic?"
"Well," Akane began, "Happosai Jiji-sama occasionally dabbles
in enchantments." She
giggled, "He's so cute when he's busy whipping up something vile."
Ranma glowered. "I'll kill the old freak."
"You do that," Darken muttered, not really paying attention.
He put his notebook away
and tapped a finger to his lips. "I'll look into this, but I'm
not really sure what I can do. These
curses are really difficult to deal with."
"Oh," Akane said quietly, "I really don't want you to worry on
my account-"
Ranma looked surprised. "Huh? Why bother? Let's just make
the best of this. After all,
now that we what's causing the problem, we can deal with it."
"Ranma," Darken began, "I really don't think that's-"
"What are you talking about? It's not all that bad."
Darken raised an eyebrow; "Not all that bad?"
"Yeah," Ranma returned. "I've learned to live with my curse,
Akane can live with her's.
It's not like its the end of the world, or that she's turned into
a duck or something bad like that.
Besides, she's always saying she wants to cook."
Akane smiled at Ranma. "I'm glad you like my cooking."
"And she's nice," Ranma continued, his voice becoming animated
as he stared off at the
horizon, a look on wonder on his face. "You have any idea how
rare that is for Akane?"
Darken pulled out a kettle and poured a stream of steaming
water over Akane's head.
"Come on, you know how violent, uncooperative, and contentious
she is normally. This'll
be a great change!" Ranma looked back and put a hand on her
shoulder. "Admit it Akane, it'll be
good for you to finally learn how to act like a girl."
Akane smiled, looked up at him, and slammed a nearby 10-foot
tall statue of Buddha on
Ranma's head.
"It is fate," Darken muttered, clapping his hands into a
prayer position.
* * *
Later that evening, Ranma and Akane explained the situation to
the family. They took it
pretty much as expected.
"OH MY POOR BABY!!!" Soun cried, inflicting vast amounts of
water damage on the
floor. "My darling daughter, forced to suffer from an
unimaginable curse!! Oh, it is a trial from
heaven!! Why have the kami forsaken us so?!?"
"Hey!" Ranma muttered, somewhat annoyed. "I'm under the same
curse as she is, and I've
had it longer. How come no one cares about that?"
{Because you're suppose to take it like a man! Like me!}
Panda signed, still playing with
an old tire.
Soun grabbed his youngest daughter's shoulders and held on to
her. "Oh Akane, forgive
your foolish father for not keeping this horror from you!! Your
late mother will never forgive me
for allowing this!!"
"Otosan," Akane said bravely, giving her dad a slightly
exasperated look. "It's not that
bad. I'm still me."
"Yeah," Ranma agreed, "She doesn't change into an animal, and
as an added bonus, she
won't kill us when she cooks."
"Shut up, Ranma!" Akane yelled. Before life-altering injury
could be done to him,
Happosai bounced into the room, heading straight for Akane's
chest.
"Welcome home, dear Akane-chan!" the old freak said joyfully.
He never reached her as
Ranma, Soun, and Genma all began to stomp him into the floor.
"Is something wrong," the small collection of big bruises
asked when they were finished.
"What were you thinking, cursing Akane like that?!" Ranma
returned, shaking him
roughly.
"What do you mean?"
"We know all about your messing with Nyannichuan water to turn
Akane into a girl!"
"I am a girl!" Akane yelled, stomping on Ranma's head.
"But-but it didn't work!" Happosai protested, staring at
Ranma with big, innocent, teary
eyes. "I splashed you with the water I worked on, and you didn't
become a pure, sweet, lovely
young maiden!"
Ranma's eyes bugged out. "You wanted to turn me into a girl?
Mentally as well as
physically?!"
"Yes," the old goat proudly pronounced, unaware of the fact
most of the room was
looking at him and pulling out large implements of pain and
suffering. "I decided that the only
way to truly experience bliss in your arms was for you to fully
convert to a woman along with
your lovely figure. But alas, when I splashed you with the water
I'd worked so hard to prepare,
not a thing happened." He began to weep, "Oh, how crushed I was
at my failure."
"But it worked on Akane," Ranma said, shivering. "How come
I'm not out there shopping
and gossiping and painting my nails?"
"What did he try and do to you?" Akane asked.
"Uh, I think Jiji tried to get me to drink some kind of water
a few days ago in the kitchen-"
Ranma turned to look at Akane, his voice trailing off.
"And...and I had a glass of water after your big fight
there..." Akane finished for him,
looking stunned. Then anger took over.
"You jerk!" She screamed. "Happosai tries to force something
on you and you don't think
to get rid of it?!"
"What are you talking about?!" Ranma returned. "I dumped
most of it down the sink!
You were a dork to go and get yourself cursed like that! You
should have been more careful!"
"If you'd dealt with it properly, I wouldn't be in this
situation right now!"
Watching the argument, Happosai suddenly seemed to catch on.
"You mean, it actually
worked? And Akane-chan is the one affected? Oh my dear girl,
please accept the apologies of
this old fool! I never intended for you to be my target!" He
leapt towards her, his only thought
to comfort the poor dear in her time of trial (yeah, right).
Akane punched him away. "This is all your fault! And your's
too Ranma!" Happosai
landed feet-first against a wall, then sprang back towards Akane,
now holding a pail of water in
his hands. "Maybe now you'll accept my sincere apologies!" he
said as he splashed water at her.
Akane shrieked and grabbed Ranma, pulling him in front of her
as a shield. The water
splashed him, and Happosai instead ended up glomping onto
Ranma-chan's bust.
"Even better!" the old goat shouted triumphantly. While Ranma
ran around screaming,
trying to pry the old lech off, Akane just ground her teeth at the
two of them. Suddenly, she
looked up in surprise. "Oh, it's almost dinner! I've got to
hurry!" Getting to her feet, she
booted both Ranma and Happosai out the door and headed off to the
kitchen.
Still in the family room, Nabiki sat and watched Panda try and
comfort a still-crying Soun.
Panda held up a sign {There, there...}, while gently patting his
back. After a moment, Panda
suddenly looked up and brought out a new sign.
{She said something about dinner, didn't she?}
Completely forgetting about his best friend, Panda grabbed a
pail of water and raced off
down the hall. {Oh, Akane-kun...} his sign read.
Nabiki shook her head. "I really do wonder what we did for
fun around here before the
Saotomes arrived."
* * *
As the dawn slowly shone over the daybreak, Akane jogged into
sight through the light
morning mists. Keeping her pace, she sprang airborne and
practiced a few jump kicks. Her
breathing even, she landed easily and continued on her way.
Having done this routine over and
over again, her body moved without conscious thought; her mind
busy pondering what had
befallen her.
Like Ranma, she was now cursed; all the wonderful insults
she'd come up with over the
last few months to remind him of that he could now use against
her. At least she didn't turn into
an animal; that was about the only bright thing she could see in
this whole mess.
Turning a corner, she considered exactly how she changed. It
was odd, but if someone
hadn't told her, she probably never would have found out for
herself. She didn't actually feel any
different when it occurred, just experienced a change in mood.
Thinking back to those times
when Ranma had told her she'd been acting weird, she really
couldn't place any difference in her
feelings; just a general sense of how smoothly things were going.
Kind of like the impression that
events simply weren't anything worth getting excited over.
She shook her head and slowed to a walk. It was, in a way,
kind of scary. Not to be fully
in control of yourself, choosing what you wanted to do; it left
her feeling just a little vulnerable.
It was sort of the exact opposite, and yet so similar, to the
times when Ranma made her see red.
Both involved a complete loss of decision making power and
surrender of control, except in one
case she beat her fiance, and the other she cooked for him. It
reminded her of the time Mousse
had put Shampoo's contrary jewel on her. Looking back, she
recalled how she'd felt, not able to
control or trust her own actions. It left her with a feeling of
powerlessness, and it wasn't
something she was comfortable with.
Looking into the dawn, she wondered what she was going to do.
No one had yet found a
cure for the Jhusenkyou curses, not for lack of trying on Ranma's
part, so it looked like she was
going to have to learn to live with this. Accept the fact that
there were times she just couldn't be
in total control of herself. She shuddered slightly.
Thrusting that thought aside, Akane wondered if she really was
all that different when she
changed; Ranma swore that he almost couldn't recognize her. Akane
had scoffed at his
comments; she'd never really trusted Ranma's accounts on being a
girl, how could she? Was she
was going to base femininity on the opinions of a sex-changing,
macho jerk who hadn't had a
single stable female influence in his whole life?
And yet, despite all that, she couldn't help but worry and
feel upset when he made fun of
her. She didn't want to admit it, but she did care. Could Ranma
be right, did she really become
so different when she changed? Did he really mean it when he'd
suggested that she use this
opportunity to learn how to really be a girl...
His words taunted her, hollowly echoing themselves in her
mind.
'Learn how to really be a girl...'
'Learn how to really be a girl...'
Akane spun around suddenly, and caught Ranma-chan following
behind her, whispering
the phrase in her ear.
"Don't do that!" Akane yelled, clobbering the red-head.
The two stopped at the drainage ditch and leaned against the
fence. It was a still morning,
with no wind to ruffle their hair. Standing side-by-side both
gazed out, not looking at the other.
Keeping silent, they directed their attention out to the cityscape
before them.
Ranma finally broke the stillness and cleared her throat.
"So...how are you...you know,
handling it?" She asked gruffly, but with a tinge of concern in
her voice.
"I'm still sort of in shock over the whole thing. It's not
something I ever thought I'd have
to deal with...I-I guess I'll get used to it." She looked down at
the water flowing in the pit, then
glanced over at Ranma. "I hope I can deal with it as well as you
have with your's."
"What? I'll never get used to my curse! It's annoying,
stupid, and causes me no end of-"
she suddenly cut herself off when she realized how Akane might be
taking it. "Uh...that
is...its...uh..."
Akane looked back out over the town, her gaze thoughtful.
"You know, sometimes I
actually manage to forget that you're cursed." Ranma-chan
started, then stared at her. "Don't
look at me like that. You've been this way ever since I've met
you...it's just hard for me to
picture you not changing into a girl."
"Well, try a little harder," Ranma grunted. "One of these
days, I'm going to rid myself of
this annoyance for good."
"You hate it that much?"
"Damn right," Ranma-chan replied. "I'll do anything so that
this," she gestured to her
ample chest, "won't plague me anymore."
"And until then?" Akane asked quietly.
"Until then I've just got to live with it. I don't have to
like it, and I'll do anything to get rid
of it, but I do have to accept it for now."
Akane folded her arms against the fence and rested her chin on
her arms. "I guess I'll have
to as well."
For a long moment, Ranma didn't answer. From the corner of
her eye, she watched as
Akane stared out over the cityscape, a slightly sorrowful,
introspective look on her face.
Swallowing once, Ranma turned to stare out as well, feeling the
uncomfortable need to do
something, anything.
"Come on," Ranma said, trying to lift her spirits. "Your
problem really isn't that bad."
"I guess not," Akane agreed, sounding unsure.
"Look at it this way: you don't get fur and you don't get
feathers."
"I suppose you're right," she muttered.
"Heck," Ranma continued, still trying to cheer her up. "It
actually does you some good."
Akane raised an eyebrow. "Yes, without this curse, you'd never
have been able to produce a
dinner that didn't raise our medical insurance."
Akane frowned.
"All you've got to do is take some notes when you get wet, and
you'll soon learn where
you go wrong with your normal behaviour. Like I've said, a little
time and there's the small
chance that you'll finally learn what it means to be a girl."
Akane began to shake with anger.
"Yes siree...a little note taking, some time to work on it,
and who knows? You might
actually make some poor fool a decent wife."
The veins stood out on Akane's forehead.
"That might be taking it a bit too far, as you're pretty well
set in your ways," the red-head
continued, not bothering to look at Akane. "But you'd hardly
think that anything that could
make you act more feminine could possibly be a curse." She began
to laugh. "Although I think
calling it 'the blessing of Jhusenkyou' might not fly to well with
the local crowd."
Akane picked Ranma up and tossed her into the drainage ditch.
"Thanks for your
concern, you stupid ingrate!"
* * *
It took Ranma quite some time to crawl out of the drainage
ditch, all the while muttering
nasty things about Akane. Finally, she flipped herself over the
fence and landed on the empty
sidewalk, not at all in a good mood.
"Here I am, trying to cheer the dumb klutz up, and she gets
mad at me. Well, that's it,"
she vowed, just like she'd vowed countless times before. "No
more. I'm not having anything
more to do with that kawaikune brute. As far as I'm concerned,
she can just suffer with her own
stupid problems."
"A wise decision my friend!"
Ranma-chan snapped around, looking for the speaker. "Who's
there?!" she demanded.
Slowly, music drifted to her ears, a single beat that rose and
fell with disturbing regularity and
repetition. Slowly, the beat began to get faster and faster,
becoming like an excited heartbeat.
She'd heard the tune somewhere before, if she could just recall
where...she suddenly remembered
a movie theater her father had taken her while they were in China.
Never one to get
new-releases, the theater had been showing older films, and with a
start, Ranma placed the music
as the opening theme to 'Jaws.'
Just the as music reached its peak, a girl walked out into
Ranma's sight from one of the
many streets that joined up with the sidewalk.
She was a high school girl, as old as Ranma. Black hair, just
brushing her shoulders hung
down from her head, with one side held back by a hair-pin. Bright
brown eyes looked out from
an attractive face marred somewhat by the small, narrow-eyed
smile. Her school uniform was a
light green jacket and skirt combination. In one of her hands,
she carried a long, thin piece of
wood, which was far to long for a single chop stick.
"I believe," the stranger said, giving Ranma-chan a small
smile, "that we can be of
assistance to each other."
"Who are you?!" Ranma demanded, having learned from experience
that she had much to
fear from strange women, and forgetting the fact that she had even
more to fear from women she
actually knew (all of whom were still strange).
The new girl clenched her fist and struck up a pose full of
self-confidence and pride. "I am
someone in search of vengeance, someone who seeks to right a
horrible injustice done to me. I
am the leader of the Henheri High marching band. I am a master in
the ancient and devastating
martial arts skill of Tae Kwon Do Rei Me. I am..." She paused to
build up suspense. "I
am...Bofu Ongyoko!"
In the background, the Emperor's theme from 'Return of the
Jedi' played strong and sure.
"And this is my orchestra," she continued, casually motioning
to the gang of students
behind her, all holding instruments and finishing the intro music.
"Hi Red!"
"How ya doing?"
"Nice to meet you!"
"Want a date?"
Music finished, dead silence settled over the area.
Recovering her wits -which, after an
intro like that, had understandably gone astray- Ranma-chan shook
her head and looked at this
Ongyoko person hard. "What do you want?" she asked with all her
usual grace and tact.
"Why, only what you must now also want," Ongyoko said.
"Revenge against the fiend
who was so cruel and unjust to you just a few minutes ago."
Blinking for a moment, Ranma stared at the girl. "You mean
Akane?"
"Yes!!" Ongyoko shouted, her face turning livid at the mere
mention of the name. "She
who is a vexation to all good people, she who has left tragedy and
shame in her wake, it is she
whom we both despise!"
"Now wait a minute-" Ranma-chan began.
"Did the evil one not just toss you into the stagnant and vile
water? Did she not taunt
you, call you names, then throw a mailbox down on you?"
"Well, yes..." Ranma agreed, reluctantly. "But that-"
Before she could say any more, Ongyoko grabbed her hand in one
of her's, the other
moving the conductor's baton at the band, causing them to play a
sad, melancholy tune. "Yes,
yes. I understand all too well. Like you, I am a victim of the
horrible and thoughtless practices
of the vile Tendo Akane. She too has made a mockery of my life,
and exists only to shatter my
dreams."
<Well now,> Ranma thought to herself. <I knew Akane had to
have wrecked someone's
life other then mine.> Still kind of angry at her fiancee, but
determined to get some more
information, Ranma-chan nodded to Ongyoko. "It is as you say!
Akane is mean to me, she hits
me, beats me for no reason! She's aggressive! She mocks my
gender, and forces unspeakable
concoctions upon me!" Ranma turned on the waterworks to finish
the display of righteous hurt.
"There, there, my dear," Ongyoko said, now full of sympathy
for the shorter girl and what
she'd suffered through. "Don't cry, however evil the Tendo fiend
has been to you, you now have
friends that will stand with you!" Behind her, the orchestra
began to play, 'I'll be there for you.'
Looking up through her fake tears, Ranma gazed at the new girl
with eyes full of water
and shimmering. "Oh, please Ongyoko-san! Tell me how Aka...I
mean, how Tendo has ruined
your life! Share your story so that I might know I'm not alone in
my suffering!"
<Heh heh heh. Once I get the details, I'll be able to tell
Akane that she's responsible for
wreaking someone's life other then just mine. That her uncouth
ways are the source of more then
just my own pain. Hope it's some pretty good dirt.>
"Oh, how I wish I could share my shame with you!" Ongyoko
said as the band behind her
played 'Sad songs say so much.' "However, I just can't bear to
relive that terrible moment in my
life as yet! Only after I have defeated my foe will I truly be
able to face my demons!"
"Come on," Ranma-chan encouraged, tears now gone and trying to
psych Ongyoko up.
"It'll be good to get it off your chest. You can tell me! We're
in this together against Tendo!"
<Spill it!> she thought, getting annoyed with this girl.
<I've got enough trouble dealing
with people obsessed with revenge, so just tell me about it so I
can get the dirt and leave!>
Ongyoko shook her head and firmly placed her hands on
Ranma-chan's shoulders. "I
appreciate your support, but I just can't let someone like you
hear my story! It would be too
much! I will tell you that it was her actions that led me to
study hard at my music, trying to
combine what I love with a method of exacting revenge against my
hated foe. My sensei was
diligent and instructed me long in the ways of Tae Kwon Do Rei Me,
the use of martial arts and
musical instruments. The two blended together into an art both
beautiful and strong, like
Beethoven's 9th. With this, and my band of loyal band members, I
shall finally get the revenge I
have so long sought for my shame!"
"But-" Ranma tried once again.
"No, I can not! Please understand that I do this only to
protect your gentle nature. I
could not bear to cause you anymore pain then what Tendo has
already done to you. Trust me
on this, it is too much for you! I want you stable, I need you
strong!" The band slipped into 'I
am a rock, I am an island.'
Ranma buried her face behind one of her hands. <I was hoping
for something I could bug
Akane about, but if this chick isn't going to spill the beans I
guess I should just cut my losses.>
She sighed, "Look, I grant you Akane's an annoyance, but-"
"Yes!" Ongyoko shouted. "You agree with me! Something must
do done to this soul
who has no care or concern for those around her! I'm so happy to
find one who shares my
vision, my quest!" The band struck up a happy tune. "Together we
will teach this Akane a
lesson she won't soon forget!"
"Now wait a minute-"
"Don't worry!" Ongyoko cut her off. "I have spied on Akane
for the past few days and
know all about her, including her boyfriend!"
"Boyfriend!" Ranma-chan shouted, annoyed.
"Yes, a weakness we can attack at our leisure! The agony I
have experienced I gladly will
pay back to her! I will talk to you soon on how we might combine
our skills to bring ruin down
upon her! For now though, I bid you farewell!"
Ongyoko turned and led her band away, the sounds of 'Hey, hey,
hey, good-bye' on the
wind.
Ranma-chan was left standing alone, somewhat stunned, and
watched the group move out
of sight. A small breeze blew up, causing her pig-tail to flutter
slightly.
After a long moment, she finally found her voice. "...oh
man...like things weren't bad
enough around here already."
[continued Chapter 3]
________________________
Author's Notes:
You've no doubt noticed the overwhelming use of music Ongyoko
uses. This is my own
way of parodying the number of fan-fics in which the author
introduces a scene by suggesting a
musical score that he/she feels is appropriate. I for one find
these a little annoying. This is
written media after all, and some of the songs they suggest I'd
don't know or involve musical
genre I don't pay attention to. My biggest problem with music in
the fics is that three sentences
later I'm generally too busy reading the story to remember what
song was suggested, which sort
of defeats its purpose.
In this I'm making fun of scene music that by having Ongyoko
use her music more to
punctuate her sentences and set up bad jokes then define mood. In
addition, her habit of jumping
from song to song is something that usually ticks most people off
in real life.
With regards to her name: Bofu (family name) Ongyoko (personal
name). I doubt if it is a
real girl's name, but there is some humour in it. Ongyoko is a
feminized version of ongyoku,
which is Japanese for 'musical performance.' (Names in Japanese
are often converted to female
by the addition of -ko (child) to the end of names. i.e.: Keiko.
In this case just convert the -ku to
-ko.) However, depending on how it's spelled in the rather
complex Japanese writing systems
(which I'm NOT going to try and explain here), 'on' can mean
'revenge,' and 'gyoko' can mean
'working at.' Thus, when feminizing 'musical performance,' she
got 'working at revenge.' It's not
brilliant, but it is a joke.
The school where Ongyoko's band is from; Henheri High,
translates as 'Weird Periphery'
School. Or, more loosely, 'lunatic fringe' school.
Tae Kwon Do Rei Me is a martial arts style I originally
created in my Ranma .05 lemon
series. (Vol 2, Part 1 if I remember correctly.) It was intended
to be a one shot joke, but I like it
so much I decided to keep it and use it here. For those who have
read .05: Ranma may have
learned the techniques there, but in 1/100th, only Ongyoko knows
Tae Kwon Do Rei Me.
Darken (for those who joined this series already in progress)
was introduced in Ranma
1/100th Vol 1. He's a kami based on the type that appear in the
Oh My Goddess! manga and
anime. As a character, he's unlucky, somewhat of a goof, and will
find new ways to blunder that
mortal minds simply can not comprehend.
People seem to like him...I have no idea why. ^_^ (By the
way, any similarity between
Darken and the author of this series is merely the result of me
having far too much time on my
hands.)
The long, detailed explanation Darken gives for how the
Nyannichuan curse works
shouldn't be taken too seriously. While I am a genetics major and
everything Darken said is
somewhat approaching truth, it is a gross simplification of the
processes involved. The pure
purpose was to have a horrible Star Trek-like techno-babble scene.
Input and constructive advice is welcomed, even flames if
justified via my own stupidity.
As well, if you have any idea as to what exactly techniques could
be used in Tae Kwon Do Rei
Me, please E-mail me!
In closing, I'M NOT LEE (GREY WOLF) GINTHER, I'M DARREN
DEMAINE! I'm
just using wolf-chan's address as he has easy access and I don't.
I can be reached at
ddemaine@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca
or
greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca
Darren Demaine
Chairman of the Horde
Horde O' Hentai Productions
--
greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca
greywolf@worldgate.com
Ferret Farm BBs Service