Subject: [FFML] [FANFIC][RANMA] 1/100th Volume 2 Chapter 3.
From: greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca (Lee W Ginther)
Date: 2/14/1998, 4:13 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Reply-to:
greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca

Ranma 1/100th
Vol 2. Chapter 3
Your Wish is My Command


Credits:
Produced by: Horde O' Hentai, Literature Division
     Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, President for Life
                         (Chance of parole in 20 years)
     Lee (Grey Wolf): Pun Minister, Guy we rub for luck
     Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Breath weapon specialist
     Craig (Dr. Ruminahui): Minister without parole
Series concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine
Based on works by: Takahashi Rumiko-megamisama

Recap: Thanks to Happosai (and Ranma), Akane now undergoes a
personality shift when she gets hit by water.  As well, an old
adversary of her's has shown up, seeking revenge for something. 
And if that wasn't enough, there's still the up-coming dance to
occupy people's attentions...
----------------



     Having been given a period of self study by Hinako-sensei, the
members of year 1, class F were busy talking, gossiping, and
otherwise making a mockery of their education.  Most of the girls
were clustered in small groups talking about the upcoming dance
while the guys wandered by themselves or read the latest Shonen
Sunday.
     "Oh man, you wouldn't believe the trouble I've had trying to
get ready," Yuka told her  group.  "When I got to the store, all
the best dresses had already been picked over."
     Sayuri shook her head.  "You think you've got problems; I just
about had to threaten  Hiroshi-kun before he agreed to think about
getting a suit.  Imagine me spending my Sunday  dragging him around
the mall making sure he didn't pick up anything horrendous."  She
rolled her  eyes.  "I mean, it's a good thing Furinkan has
uniforms, otherwise I wouldn't want to imagine  what the boys would
wear normally."
     With the sound of vicious giggling suddenly emanating from the
group, a selection of boys  cast disparaging glances their way. 
"Why do we put up with this?"  Hiroshi asked.
     "Because the ribbing we'd give anyone didn't show up with a
date would be even worse,"  Daisuke replied, miffed.
     Once the giggling died down to manageable levels, one of the
girls turned to the one that was differently dressed.  "Ukyou-san? 
Have you gotten a date yet?"
     Wearing her boy's uniform, Ukyou leaned back and stared
daggers at someone.  "Well...despite the fact the guy who _should_
have asked me is going with someone else-"   Ranma buried his head
deeper behind his manga in a vain attempt to remain out of the 
conversation.  "I found someone who's more then willing."
     "Really?  Who?"

     Ukyou seemed to lose her pride, and licked her lips uneasily. 
"Uh...M-Mousse."
     "Mousse!?"  Akane gasped, amazed.  
     "W-well, you know how it is-"
     "You mean that cute Chinese guy who seems so devoted to that
Shampoo?"  another girl asked.
     "Um...ah...yeah...."
     "And you got him to ask you out?"
     "Well, it's not really-"
     "Ukyou-san!  I'm so impressed!"  
     "How'd you do it?!"
     "He's _so_ cute!"
     "It's not like that!" Ukyou cried, blushing red.  "It's just
that...well-"  One of the girls  leaned over and gently nudged the
okonomiyaki girl, a sly grin on her face.
     "You managed to turn his attention from a woman like Shampoo;
frankly, I'm jealous."
     "It's not what you think!" Ukyou shouted as the group
descended into giggles again.  "He  just wants to be there since
Shampoo is going."
     Another girl looked over at Ranma, then glanced at Akane
sympathetically.  "You mean Saotome-kun asked Shampoo?  How
insensitive."  While Akane went red, a whole bunch of girls glared
over at Ranma.
     He angrily dropped his manga and glared back.  "Hey!  Let's
get one thing straight here, I  did not ask Shampoo to the damn
dance!"
     "That's right," Hiroshi said, coming to his friend's defence. 
"He asked Kuno Kodachi."
     All that did was garner Ranma even more feminine glares.  He
big sweated.
     "Speaking of this, who is Shampoo going to the dance with?" 
Daisuke asked, looking at the other guys in confusion.  Off to one
side, Gosunkugi blanched and managed to turn even  paler. 
     "Hey, Gosunkugi," someone called.  "Didn't I see you talking
to her at the Nekohanten?"
     "Um...yeah..."
     "So did she tell you anything?  Who asked her out?"
     "Um..well...s-she's going...going with..."  He glanced around
once, trembling slightly.  "...me."
     "WHAT!?" the class yelled.  Instantly the poor boy was
surrounded by impressed guys, all looking at him in amazement.
     "You're kidding!"
     "I wish-"
     "Way to go, Gosunkugi!"
     "I didn't know you had it in you!"
     "Getting a hot tigress like Shampoo as your date, I'm
impressed!"
     "How'd you do it man?"
     "I didn't have a choice," he wailed, trying to turn a helpless
gaze towards Akane.
     "Now, now," Hiroshi said, "don't be modest."
     "No! I really didn't have a choice!  I didn't ask her, she
told me to take her!"
     Daisuke patted his shoulder like an old chum.  "Ah, you rarely
see such modesty in one so successful."  While the guys crowded
around the now popular loser, Ukyou turned her attention elsewhere.
     "Akane-chan?  I've finally got some free time today, and I was
wondering if you'd like to help me do some dress shopping?"
     Akane nodded, smiling.  "That sounds like fun.  Just as long
as we get done early enough so I cook dinner."
     Ukyou blinked once.  "Y-you mean you're cooking dinner for
Ran-chan?"  With that, she turned to Ranma and put a great big
smile on her face.  "So, when will you be over for supper?"
     "Don't worry about it Ucchan," Ranma said, placing a hand on
Akane's shoulder.  "I'm actually looking forward to Akane's
dinner."
     "You are?"
     "Sure, after all, the forecast calls for showers today, and I
know Akane forgot her umbrella."  He was all smiles.  "See,
everything'll work out fine."
     Underneath his hand, one of Akane's fists was clenched
tightly, trembling with power and rage.  Ranma suddenly became
aware of this, but even as removed his hand Akane let out a
defeated sigh and relaxed her fist.  "I guess it will.  Excuse me." 
Quietly she got to her feet and left the room.
     "Ran-chan," Ukyou whispered as she leaned close.  "Is
everything OK with Akane-chan?"
     "Huh?"
     "I mean she looked a little depressed just now.  You two
aren't having another fight are you?"
     Ranma looked confused, then smiled uneasily.  "Naw...it's just
a phase she's going through.  She's fine."
     


     <She's fine,> he repeated to himself as he left the school
grounds later.  Hands behind his head and his eyes cast skyward, he
paid no attention to the crowds around him.
     <OK, so she's cursed.  It's not like it's the end of the world
for her.  I mean, I've survived mine.  Sure I hate it, but I've
learned to live with it.>  He frowned for a moment as he tried to
recall how he'd felt for the first few weeks after he'd been
cursed.  His memory of his feelings was murky, much like his memory
of the day's lesions.  He recalled being annoyed, angry,
upset...that was only natural.  After all the curse still made him
annoyed and angry, usually when Kuno was somewhere near.  Aside
from that, he couldn't remember feeling anything else.  
     <Just give her some time,> he decided, letting people pass him
by.  <Maybe do something to cheer her up, but nothing too
extensive.  She should already be overjoyed that she can cook now,
even if it only 'cause of the curse.  After all, it's results that
count.>
     Caught up in his internal monologue, Ranma nearly walked into
the person standing in front of him.  Catching himself at the last
second, he stopped and blinked in surprise.  "S-sorry!  I didn't
see-"
     "Ranma-sama," Kodachi said as she stood before him.  "You need
not apologize, since it is fated that we run into each other."
     "R-really?  I didn't think the dance was for another couple of
days...."
     "Ah, but I couldn't wait any longer.  My heart burns with
love, and I need you now."
     "What?!"  he yelped, quickly putting his back to the nearest
tree.  She advanced on him, drawing a ribbon from behind her back
and gazing at him with narrowed, calculating eyes.  
     He put his hands up to placate her, trying to decide if he
should just make a break for it.   "K-Kodachi, I think we should
talk about-"
     "Don't move!" she shouted.  Ranma froze, arms extended towards
her.  With a sudden flourish, she was upon him, ribbon in hand.
     "Hmm...arm length, chest diameter...what size of shirt do you
wear, Ranma-sama?"  Blinking, Ranma suddenly noticed that she was
actually wielding a measuring tape, and getting the proportions of
his body.
     "Uh, what's all this for?"  He asked.
     She looked up at him, eyes sparkling.  "Why to help you pick
out a proper suit for the dance, my dearest Ranma-sama."
     He groaned internally; he hated shopping.  Most guys already
disliked shopping, but he had a real loathing of it, mostly because
for one reason or another he had the tendency to end up trying on
girls' clothes.  Even if he didn't want to.  
     Especially if he didn't want to.  
     "Come on now Kodachi, I'm perfectly capable of picking out
something to wear-"
     "Oh, I know that," she agreed, cutting him off.  "A man like
you is a master of all things and knows exactly what will attract
the attention of women."
     "So I'm glad we agree-"
     "But you must understand that this is no ordinary event," she
continued, ignoring him.  "This is to be a public display of the
bonds of love between us."
     "What bonds of love?!" he demanded.
     "Why the strong red string that binds our hearts together my
dear.  We shall be on presentation before all the other girls who
think they lay claim to your heart.  It is up to me, your one true
love to ensure that we appear as the perfect couple, alike in body
as our two souls no doubt join faultlessly into one."  She became
all starry eyed and clasped her hands before her.  "I can just see
it now, how perfect we look as we compliment each other on the
dance floor.  How the love that is evident between us can now be
seen by all the others, and how your other, false suitors, will
rise to new heights of jealousy."
     Kodachi finished her daydream and began tugging on his arm. 
"Come Ranma-sama!  Off to the tailors with you!"  Ranma gulped.  He
had no desire to see anybody reach new heights of jealousy over
him; he had enough trouble with the current levels.  
     
     *    *    *

     Despite her earlier reluctance, once she started shopping
Ukyou seemed to be quite interested in the upcoming dance.  With
Akane in tow, the long-haired girl flew through stores and clothes. 
"I think this is a nice one, don't you?  Wait, how about that cute
yellow piece over there?  Do you think it should be an off the
shoulder one, or perhaps something without arms?"
     Akane watched this frantic display of energy with a single
drop of sweat running down her hair.  "M-my Ukyou, you certainly
are...energetic about this, aren't you?"
     Running up to Akane carrying at least two dresses on each arm,
Ukyou had a big grin on her face and a scary light gleaming from
her eyes.  "I spent most of life pretending to be a guy; how often
do you think I had a chance to really go shopping?  I'm just making
up for lost time."  Having said that, she dumped the dresses into
Akane's hands and darted back towards another rack.  "Could you
check the sizes on those for me?  There's just so many here, I
can't decide!"
     Akane began sorting out the dresses while Ukyou kept up her
frantic pace, occasionally asking questions.  "Oh, I never heard,
who's your sister going with?
     "You'll never believe it Ukyou, but apparently Nabiki-oneechan
got asked out by Ryoga-kun."  Hearing that piece of news managed to
stop Ukyou in her tracks for a second, her eyes wide and a dress
dangling from one hand.
     "Ryoga?" she returned, stunned.  Akane nodded in reply and
Ukyou turned her head away in amazement.  "I never knew he went for
older women."
     "Me neither, although I think it has more to do with his
running feud with Ranma.  What it is I can't imagine, but it seems
that if Ranma is involved somehow, Ryoga wants to be competing
against him.  They're such idiots about it."
     <Ran-chan's probably not the reason Ryoga wants to be at the
dance,> Ukyou thought to herself, giving the other girl a long look
from the corner of her eyes.  After a moment, she decided on a
slightly different approach.  "You know," she began slyly, "if he
ever asked me, I think I'd go out with Ryoga."
     "Really Ukyou?"
     "Oh come on Akane, don't tell me that you've never thought
Ryoga is kinda cute."
     Akane's cheeks got a little red as she focused her eyes on the
dresses before her.  "Well  actually...I guess..."
     "Come on, a naive, eternally lost boy like him, looking so
darlingly pathetic...Doesn't it make you just want to mother the
poor boy to death?"
     "I suppose..."
     "And he's so sweet, kind, and patient." Ukyou pressed.  "He
really does know how to make one feel like a girl."
     <"...feel like a girl."> Akane's mind repeated.  Her head
lowered as she heard other words ringing in her ears.  <"...learn
how to really be a girl, learn how to really be a girl, learn how
to really-">
     "Akane?"  Ukyou asked, her face inches away from the other's,
a concerned expression showing.  Akane jumped in surprise and
looked guiltily at her.
     "Y-yes?"
     "Are you OK?  You've seemed kinda of depressed recently; did
you and Ran-chan have another fight?"
     Akane licked her lips slightly.  "N-no, that's not it," she
lied.  "It's just that...I haven't been feeling myself recently." 
A moment later, she considered what she'd said and coloured
slightly.  She waved her hand, bushing the incident aside.  "Enough
about me, you're the one who's got to pick out a dress, and I think
that this style is definitely you..."

     
     "Oh!  It's perfect!  Without a doubt, it is you!"
     Gazing at himself in the three full-length mirrors before him,
Ranma grunted something noncommittal in reply.  After first being
used as a beast of burden to carry all of Kodachi's purchases,
she'd then lured him into a men's clothing store and ambushed him
with style after style of suits for him to try on.  While Kodachi
and the salesperson engaged each other in a verbal duel over the
advantages and drawbacks of lapels, cuff-lengths, and accessories,
Ranma had been forced into one monkey suit after another.  To him,
they all looked the same and were just as uncomfortable, but his
tormentors assured him that progress towards the perfect cut of
cloth was being made.

     Looking himself over, he had to admit that at least he didn't
look as stupid as when he wore a dress.
     Kodachi stood behind him and gave his jacket a sharp tug at
the shoulders, then looked into the triple reflections.  "Yes, this
is perfect.  Finally, you have a suit that truly shows off  the man
you are, Ranma-sama."
     "Great," Ranma replied, already trying to slough off the
jacket.  Kodachi pulled it back on him and leaned against his
shoulders, gazing dreamily at their reflections.
     "Ah, you shall be the centre of attention at the dance,
Ranma-sama.  They will see how our clothes complement and enhance
the other's, much as our two souls come together and melt into a
thing of beauty greater then either of us could produce on our own. 
Our oneness will cause the other girls nothing but fits of
uncontrollable jealously as they observe how we were meant to be
together."
     Having far too much experience with jealous girls, Ranma
wasn't quite so looking forward to that happening as Kodachi seemed
to be.  "If we're done, I'd like to change."  He extracted himself
from the gasp of the gymnast (that in itself, no mean feat), and
entered a changing booth.  While Kodachi now turned her verbal
duelling skills to the matter of the price, Ranma slid the curtain
closed behind him.
     He took off the suit, all the while muttered to himself. 
"Man, why am I always dragged into stupid stuff like this?  It is
kinda nice being the centre of attention,  but I do wish the girls
wouldn't try and run my life.  Can't they trust me to make up my
own mind?"
     Fumbling around with own clothes he heard the sounds of
someone walking around outside, checking the booths.  "Just a sec,"
he grumbled to the salesperson outside.  "I'll be dressed and outta
your hair in a minute-"
     "Why Ranma-sama, that would never do," a voice, definitely not
the salesperson's, responded.  He spun around to see Kodachi step
between the curtains, then slide them closed.  Clasping her hands
before her, she looked longingly at the figure before her.  It was
only after blinking in surprise a few times that Ranma remembered
he was only half-dressed.
     "Hey!  How about a little privacy here!"
     "But my darling Ranma-sama, we are to be together as one!"
     "Together as one?!"
     "Yes, it was you who asked me to the dance was it not?  And
there we shall be a couple acting as if of one mind."  
     <Oh,> thought Ranma in relief, <That kind of togetherness,
not->  "Yeah, we are, but that doesn't mean-"
     "And I'll also be your future bride as well," she continued. 
Ranma winced visibly.  "We should have no secrets between us.  Come
darling, let me help you dress."  The Black Rose moved in towards
him and Ranma quickly backed away as far as the enclosed space
would allow.
     "Come on," he smiled weakly at the approaching girl, his hands
held before him in an attempt to keep her at bay.  "I'm perfectly
capable of dressing myself!"
     It was a vain attempt; she slipped in between his arms and
succeeded in cornering her prey.  "Really now, Ranma-sama, men like
yourself are always so foolish when it comes to clothing.  Let me
help you..."  
     Although she talked about dressing him, her hands seemed to
have minds of their own.  For his part, Ranma did what he always
did when he was half-naked and holding a girl in his arms: he
looked around to see if any of his other fiancees were watching.

     The salesperson outside looked rather bored at the rustling,
giggling, and angry replies that came from one of the booths.
     "Stop that!"
     "But they're just so big!"
     "Not so loud!"
     "I can't believe how manly they are!  Oniisama has nothing on
you, Ranma-sama."
     "Would you leave my biceps alone!  HEY!  Don't touch that!"
     "How else are we to get your pants off? You have nothing to be
shy about."
     "How would you know?!"
     "Well, I could check right now-"
     Anything further was cut off as Ranma leapt three meters
straight up into the air.  Once cleared the top of the booth, he
leaned forwards and grabbed the rail that held up the curtain. 
Swinging himself over the front, he hit the ground running and sped
for the door.  Stripping off the dress pants, he tossed them to the
salesperson and shot out into the hall, dressed only in his boxers
and undershirt.
     "Thank you; please come again," the salesperson said.
     Ranma shot out the doors and looked around the plaza quickly;
the faster he reached an exit, the better.  A woman pushing a baby
stroller through the crowds glanced over at him, paused, then
screamed.
     "Eekk!!  A streaker!" she pointed.
     "Hey!" Ranma returned, getting angry as the crowds started to
point and whisper among
 themselves.  "I'm still wearing underwear!"
     "Eekk!" another woman cried.  "A bashful streaker!"
     Ranma face-faulted.  An old man sitting nearby glanced up to
see what the crowd was making such a fuss over.  After a moment he
sadly shook his head.  "What is it with youth today?  Why in my
time, a man had the gumption to go through with his plans.  When we
streaked, by God, we did it buck naked!"
     "I'm not...!  This isn't...!  Aw forget it," Ranma muttered,
finally giving up on explaining things.  He set himself and rushed
back into the store.   
     From inside the shop sounds of insane joyous laughter could be
heard, followed by some angry retorts.  A few moments and some
sounds of scuffling later, he stormed out; his face flushed with
anger and his hands busy tying his shirt closed.
     <And I thought the Tendo girls were bad to go shopping with,>
Ranma thought to himself, pushing his way through the crowds. 
Shouldering through, he wasn't at all concerned with being polite,
only in putting some distance between him and his current problem. 
He kept glancing behind to see if the Black Rose was following, and
accidently walked into someone's back.
     "Hey!" the person turned around to face him.  "Watch it
buster!"
     "Sorry," Ranma replied, still looking behind him.  Not seeing
the younger Kuno for the moment, he turned forwards, still talking,
"I didn't mean to- AAA!  YOU!"
     Surprised, Bofu Ongyoko looked up at him, her features turning
from anger to surprise at his words.  "Have we met before?"
     Ranma blinked a couple of times.  <Oh yeah...she talked to my
girl self.  She thinks the male me is
Akane's...[gulp]...boyfriend...>  "Uh, no.  W-we haven't met.  I'm
sorry, I thought you were someone else.  See ya."  He hurried away,
only to have Ongyoko grab onto his arm and drag him to a halt.  Her
anger was gone and a smile, far too sweet to have any true feeling
behind it, was present on her face.
     "Now now, don't rush off.  I'm sorry if I got angry at you;
that was rude of me."  Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she asked
slyly, "My name's Bofu Ongyoko, what's yours?"
     "Uh...Saotome Ranma."
     "Yes." she continued, sounding very satisfied with herself. 
"I thought so."
     "Huh?"
     For an instant, she looked worried at her slip of the tongue,
then she blinked and smiled disarmingly.  "Oh nothing!  It's just
that I've heard just so much about you!  Why, you go to Furinkan
High School, don't you?"
     "Uh, yeah," he replied, non-pulsed.  <What's she up to?  I
know she wants to get back at Akane for something, so why is she
being so nice to...oh no.  Oh no.  Not that...>  Quickly, Ranma
began trying to remove his arm from her grasp.
     "Look, it was nice meeting you, but I've got to get going-"
     "What's your rush Ranma-san?  You bumped into me, I think the
least you should do is offer me a cup of coffee in return."  She
smiled up at him, blatantly showing that oh-so cute shine in her
eyes that he himself had used while in girl form far too often on
the Blue Thunder.  In the background the song, 'Nothing you say can
take me away from my guy,' could be heard.
     Ranma glanced over his shoulder and sure enough, Ongyoko's
band was standing there, providing the accompanying music.
     A slightly irked look on his face, Ranma turned back to the
girl holding his arm.  "Um, really now, I don't have time-"
     As he spoke, Ongyoko's face fell and tears began to form in
the corners of her large, green eyes.  "I-I understand," she said,
letting go of his arm and beginning to sniffle.  "You don't like
me.  I-I can accept that.  Well, thank you for talking to me
anyway."  She turned slightly away and wiped her eyes.
     The band slowed down into 'Crying over you.' 
     "Look," Ranma replied somewhat testily, "I don't have time for
this.  I just want you to
 understand that-"
     "Ranma-sama!?  Where are you?"  Kodachi's questing voice
interrupted him.
     "-I'd love to have coffee with you," he finished suddenly, an
urgent note now accenting his words.  Grabbing Ongyoko's arm, he
quickly started to walk away.  The Black Rose, looking for a lone
male, skipped by, ribbon trailing and laugh echoing.  Instantly
Ongyoko's tears disappeared and she returned his grasp tightly, a
big smile on her face. 
     "Oh thank you, Ranma-san!  I know just the place!"  Acting all
bubbly and cute, she lead the way while he tried to look
inconspicuous.  Clinging tightly to his arm, she spewed out a
string of inane girlish chatter, all the while Ranma more worried
about losing Kodachi then actually paying attention.
     They sat down at the mall's coffee shop; Ongyoko ordered a cup
while Ranma just asked for water.  The band settled in nearby and
began playing Old Friends by Simon and Garfunkel; ignoring the
people who occasionally tossed money at their feet.
     "Tell me, Ranma-san," Ongyoko said, "what are you doing here? 
I've never seen you at this mall before."
     "It is kinda outta my way," he agreed, watching the crowd. 
"But I got dragged here because she said it has some of the better
shops in the district."
     "Really?  Is there a reason why you'd need some good clothes?" 
Ongyoko seemed a little too interested in the question, but Ranma
was too busy watching over his shoulder to notice.
     "Naw, not really.  It's just that there's this dumb dance at
my school and she decided that I needed a better suit then what I
already got."
     "So, there's going to be a dance at your school."  Ongyoko
said, a small, sinister smile touching her lips as she digested
this little bit of information.  After a moment, she looked up at
him and asked, "I take it this 'she' you keep mentioning is the
person you're going to the dance with, isn't it?"
     "Uh, yeah," he replied, his attention still focused on
scanning the crowd.
     Her grin turned a little cold at this point.  "And this 'girl'
is of course...your...girlfriend?"  Ranma jumped at the suggestion
and quickly turned back to face Ongyoko.
     "NO!  She's not my girlfriend!" he said loudly.  People turned
to look at the outburst and Ranma went a little red.
     "Come on now," Ongyoko continued once people returned to their
own conversations.  "Surely you're joking.  You spend so much time
with her, she must be your girlfriend."
     Ranma shook his head with vigour.  "Look, I'm telling you,
just because I'm going with her doesn't mean that we're together! 
Despite what she might think, we are not a couple."
     Ongyoko leaned back in her chair, gazing at him with
confusion.  "Are you telling me that you're really not interested
in her at all?"
     "Like I said, I don't have time for that.  She's a friend, a
strange one I'll grant you, but just a friend."
     "You're just friends."
     "That's right," he returned, glancing over his shoulder again. 
Still no sign of Kodachi.
     "Nothing more," unnoticed to Ranma, Ongyoko's voice had taken
on a rather quiet, dangerous air to it.
     "You got it," he started to turn back to face Ongyoko.  "So
now that's out of the way, I want to talk to you about-"
     In the middle of his sentence Ongyoko unleashed an upper-cut
from out of nowhere to the bottom of his chin.  The blow lifted
Ranma clear off his seat and dumped him on his butt.
     "Hey!  What the hell was that-"
     "BAKA-YARO!"  Ongyoko yelled as she began to stomp him into
the floor with quite some vigour.  "What the hell was I wasting my
time talking to you for?!  How am I suppose to drive a wedge
between you and Tendo if you're not her boyfriend!!"
     During a momentary pause in the abuse, Ranma leapt to his feet
and angrily towered over her.  "What's this about Akane!?  I
thought we were talking about Kodachi!"  Hearing this, Ongyoko
stopped.  She reached up and grabbed him tightly by his collar.
     "Let's get this straight; you're not going to this dance with
Tendo?"
     "No!"
     "You hang out with her a lot."
     "Well, yeah but-"
     "She's going to this dance, right?"
     "Yes, but-"
     "And you're not going with her?"
     "No," a new voice answered.  "He's going with me."  Surprised,
Ongyoko turned to look at the newcomer; Ranma just winced.  The
band started Alanna Myles' 'Lover of mine.'
     "Release my darling Ranma-sama this instant, peasant," Kodachi
instructed.  "He is mine."
     "She's your girlfriend?"  Ongyoko asked, still clutching his
collar.
     "No she isn't!"  Ranma shouted.
     "Of course she isn't, I am."
     Ranma could feel his life categorizing itself to pass before
his eyes as Ukyou spoke.  She dropped in from the upper level of
the mall to stand beside Kodachi, a parcel in one hand, her
kick-ass spatula in the other, and a rather annoyed look on her
face.
     The band faltered for a beat, then slipped into 'I got a new
girl now.'
     Ignoring the two girls for the moment, Ongyoko turned back to
face the guy she was holding in her grip.  "Am I to understand that
you're chasing these two girls?  And not Tendo?"
     Ranma opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Kodachi
beat him to the punch.  "Tendo Akane means less then nothing to
_my_ Ranma-sama.  How could he even think about someone like her
when he has the epitome of demure femineity that is I."
     "Besides," Ukyou added, "He's my innazuke."  
     After a few moments of dead silence digesting these rather
interesting facts, Ongyoko decided that enough was enough.  "Baka!"
she shouted, landing a solid blow on Ranma's cheek that sent him
crashing down at the feet of the other girls.  "If I can't use you,
then I don't have time to waste talking to you!"  Her band in tow
and playing 'You can't hide your lying eyes,' she stormed off.
     One hand on his stinging cheek, Ranma wavered to his feet,
right between the two angry girls.  Uneasily, he looked around for
a moment.  "Um, wasn't Akane suppose to be shopping with you
Ucchan?"
     "Oh that.  Yeah, she was with me; right up till we saw you
having coffee with that hussy.  Then she left."
     "She did?" he asked, unbelievingly and a little glad.
     "Yeah, she said I could do a good enough job of knocking some
sense into you; she'd take over once you got home."  Ukyou waved
the comment aside.  "Now Ran-chan, what exactly were you doing with
that girl?"
     Kodachi nodded.  "Yes, Ranma-sama; while it is true you are
irresistible to women, you must remember that you are mine."  Ukyou
blinked and angrily turned to face the other.
     "Hey!  What do you mean he's yours?  He's mine!" she demanded. 
Kodachi laughed.
     "OHOHOHO!  Really now, what does friendship have to do with a
life of true love built between a man and a woman?  As you'll soon
see, Ranma-sama and I were made to be together."
     "That'll be the day," Ukyou returned threateningly.  Ranma
stepped in between the two.
     "Come on now, I really don't think we have to-"
     He didn't finish the sentence as both girls casually clobbered
him on the chin, their angry gaze never leaving the other as he
slid to the floor once again.  "Later Ran-chan."
     "Not now, Ranma-sama."

     *    *    *

     Leaning heavily on an improvised cane, Ranma slid aside the
door and staggering into the Tendo's entryway.  "Taidaima," he
forced out through bruised lips.  <Kuso...I can't believe those
girls,> he thought with disgust.  <I try and keep them apart and
what do they do?  They beat me and kept talking about how a guy
shouldn't get involved in 'women's concerns.'  Like I have no say
in how my life is to be run.>
     "Well that's it!" he shouted at the inner wall.  "I'm not
going to take any more of this from any girl!  If any one of them
wants to complain about what I do with my life, I'll show 'em who's
boss!"
     "Welcome home Ranma," Akane said as she walked around the
corner, a polite smile on her face.
     Instantly Ranma leapt up into the corner of the room farthest
from her, sudden irrational fear replacing his bravado. 
"A-A-Akane, I-I can explain-"
     She just smiled up at him, a serene, blissful look on her
face.  "If you'd like to come down from the ceiling, I have dinner
all ready for you."
     "Heh?" Ranma uttered, his eyes wide.  Akane had already turned
and was walking away; after a moment he jumped down from his perch
and fell in behind her.
     "Uh...I guess you got splashed with some cold water since you
came home?" he asked cautiously.
     Akane put one hand to her mouth and gave a soft, feminine
laugh.  "My, is it that noticeable?"
     "Uh, no!  Not really!  Well, actually..."
     They entered the main room and sat down, Akane filling Ranma's
bowl with food that made his mouth water from just smelling it.  "I
accidently stepped in front of that nice old woman who waters her
stoop.  I'm sorry, it was so clumsy of me."
     Ranma laughed uneasily.  "Don't worry about it.  Happens to me
all the time."  He accepted his bowl fromhost ffarm.uucp
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  EXE �����������2>�(=��SCANDISKEXE �����������2>����REPLACE EXE �����������2>�2O��RESTORE EXE �����������2>�ƕ��VFINTD  386 �����������0j����MWBACKF DLL �����������0j��8��MWBACKR DLL �����������0j���MSBACKUPEXE �����������0j����MSBACKUPOVL �����������0j�@�graced this
 one so noble servant with her presence so soon on his arm.  I bid
unto you, Tendo Akane, ohayo
 gozaimas."
     Ranma stopped, his frown getting deeper.  He glanced over to
see what Akane's reaction
 to all this was, then had to look over his shoulder as she was
again standing a few paces behind
 him. 
     "Kuno-sempai," she began, bowing politely.  "Ohayo gozaimas. 
I'm glad to see you're
 looking so well."
     Ranma looked very annoyed; Kuno's face lit up, joy evident on
his features.  "Oh Tendo
 Akane!  I can not put into words the warmth my soul feels when you
say such sweet things to
 me!"  Nonetheless, he tried.
     "It is the heat of an exploding sun, the fire from a well
baked meal, the melting of the ice
 caps under the green house effect!"  He pulled out a bouquet of
roses.  "It is the warmth of my
 love for you!" he shouted as he leapt towards her.
     Ranma stomped Kuno's head into the pavement.  Glaring at
Akane, he opened his mouth
 to tell her something.  Blinking in an innocent manner, she cocked
her head slightly and looked
 back at him.  "Yes, Ranma?  Is there something wrong?"
     After a moment of silence, Ranma slammed his jaw closed and
stomped off into school. 
 Akane fell in a few steps behind him.
     Unnoticed, the rest of the school body trod indoors; using
Kuno to wipe their feet.

     *    *    *

     Sitting on the bleachers, Ranma and his friends were waiting
for their time at bat.  The
 boy's P.E. class was, as always, unofficially divided into two
groups; those watching the game,
 and those watching the girls play soccer.
     Naturally, Hiroshi and Daisuke were of the latter group.  "So
did you get a date for the
 dance yet?"  Hiroshi asked.
     "Yeah," Daisuke replied.  "She finally cornered me in the hall
and just kept staring at me
 until I gave in and asked her.  How about you?"
     "She made me lunch," Hiroshi said, not taking his eyes from
the girls.  "I didn't have any
 choice, did I?"
     "Ohh...you got hooked bad," his friend agreed.  "How 'bout
you, Ranma?"
     "Huh?"  Ranma replied, having paid attention to the baseball
game rather then either the
 girls or the conversation.
     "You ask Akane to the dance yet?"
     Ranma recoiled as if struck.  He turned back to watch the next
guy at bat and hunched
 over slightly.  "That kawaikune girl?  Not a chance!"  There was a
pause before he finally spit
out, "Anyway...Kuno already asked her out."
     "Kuno-sempai!"  Both Hiroshi and Daisuke gasped.  Eyes wide
with surprise, they looked
 at each other.  
     "Lucky guy," Daisuke muttered.
     "Poor girl,"  Hiroshi returned.
     "Like I care what she does," Ranma continued, sounding a
little bitter.  "I've got my own
 date."
     "Ukyou?"
     "Uh...no."
     "Heh...I thought there was a reason why she was ignoring you
this morning.  I guess it's
 that cute Shampoo then."
     "Uh...no."
     Hiroshi began ticking off his fingers.  "Not Akane, not Ukyou,
not Shampoo.  Unless
 someone else's arrived that we don't know about, that only
leaves-"
     "Kodachi?!"  Both shouted, shocked.  Ranma grunted as the
batter ahead of him struck
 out.  Picking up a bat, he headed towards the plate.
     <Like I care,> he repeated to himself.  <That masculine dork
can just go and do what she
 wants!  'I'm glad you're looking so well this morning,'> he
mimicked.  Stepping up to the plate, he
 glanced over at the girls' soccer game.
     On the field, he saw Akane playing defense, something she
didn't often do.  She generally
 preferred offense <Like the tomboy she is,> Ranma thought. He saw
someone race towards her
 with the ball, and deliver a strong kick.
     Akane shrieked and ducked, covering her head as the ball
passed by; nowhere near her. 
 Ranma gasped.  <What the...?>
     Hinako-chan blew her whistle and Tokyo Shuffled over to Akane,
who looked up,
 blinked, then laughed.
     "Good going Tendo-san!"  The sensei said.  "You're really
getting into the spirit of the
 game!  That's enough for today girls, now hit the showers!  You've
all earned a nice hot one!"
     Blinking in shock, Ranma stared; he couldn't believe what he'd
just seen.  Akane shrieking
 and ducking?  What was going on?
     There was a rush of air followed by a meaty TWACK.  Ranma
crashed to the plate with a
 baseball where his nose had once been.