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=> Warning! This fic contains excessive amounts of sugar! With
Valentine's day nearing, every single media in existence has been
turning out sugar bombs that try to mutate all of us into starry-eyed
idiots. Sad to say, they have converted me into their sorry lot.
=> Although I'm *not* proud to be among the few people who dread the
coming of February, I am forced, under the pain of insanity, torture,
slow death, (and lots of other horrible things to graphic to mention),
to write this fic. Writing romance stories makes me feel all good
inside. <gasp> It's starting already! Somebody! Whack me on the
head! <Whack, whack> Thanks, I needed that.
=> I'm warning you at this point in time that the fic has a *really
cheesy ending*.
=> Also, the plot (actually the ending) is not really my original idea.
I would like to thank my contributor (who still desires to remain
nameless) for coming up with the cheesy ending that started the wheels
turning in my mind to come up with a story to match. May she (and all
those other nameless people) find our own cheesy ending sometime in the
foreseeable future.
=> Some notes on notation. Things in {curly braces} are author's
comments within the fic. Signs and sound effects are in... uh...
<pointy braces>
=> The disclaimer is at the end, and the more people I would like to
thank.
=> Will somebody whack me so I can start? Thanks.
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Twenty Less Lonely People in the World
<otherwise known as Mayhem's Valentine Fic with the Cheesy Ending>
By the currently sessile (not senile) Nikholas "Mayhem" F. Toledo
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Chapter Six
Let's meet by the fountain
Ranma and Akane sat by some fountain in the park, enjoying the way
the water flowed, softly and coolly, complementing the breeze and the
sunny sky. The little kid stood on the other side, refilling his much-
used squirt gun for future targets.
"Why are we here again, Akane?" Ranma asked as he watched a leaf
fall onto the water's surface. Although the situation was pretty
pleasant, the lack of action was beginning to get on his nerves. He
knew, by some mysterious paternal instinct that appeared from out of
nowhere, that, after a few more minutes of waiting, Junior would become
a bit impatient and become the little brat Nabiki so pleasantly
described that morning. He felt a little bit harried already, but as
long as the kid remained on his good side, he knew that he could manage.
Akane looked at her watch. "Well... This was supposed to be the
meeting place for our date." She tapped her foot on the ground, making
little squeaky noises. "They were supposed to have been here a few
minutes ago."
Ranma felt a slight pang of jealousy on who this "our" could be,
but tried not to show it. "I really need to talk to them," Akane
continued. "Sayuri's and Yuka's phones where busy this morning and I
wasn't able to tell them the change of plans."
A pony-tailed girl appeared from the faceless crowd and began to
walk to the two of them. "Hey, Sayuri!" Akane waved. "Over here!"
Sayuri looked pretty nervous about something and hesitantly approached.
"I'm sorry for being late." She took Akane's hands in hers. "There's
been a slight change in the plan, Akane. I know that we planned the
movie for just the three of us... I'm sorry."
"What are you talking about?" Akane asked, puzzled.
More faces appeared from the crowd. It was Yuka leading Mio by
the hand. "Well... You see, Yuka tried to play matchmaker again, and
she's set up Mio for a blind date."
"A blind date?" Ranma laughed. "How can you set up a fortune
teller on a blind date?"
"A good question, Ranma," Mio replied in her normal mysterious way
(all fortune tellers have to speak mysteriously, because the future is
mysterious). "Since I can see the future, I already knew who the person
I was going to be introduced, his characteristics, his features,
everything. I would dare say that, this time, Yuka has found a near
perfect match. He might even be my karmic partner."
Yuka, slightly ticked off when Mio said 'this time,' asked, "isn't
soulmate a better word?" She asked in a tone that would made it seem
that all her matches were soulmates.
Mio began talking in occult terms. "Well, soulmates are those
people who share the same souls, and the same dreams. Somehow, there
exists an attractive force, the Ultimate Force, as it is sometimes
called, that would make them seek each other, no matter where they are
in the world, maybe even on whatever plane of existence. However, there
is also a repulsive force that activates when the two soulmates have
become nearly intimate with each other. What happens is a very painful
separation that scars them even unto the next life, wherein they would
try to seek each other again. Soulmates are the most perfect of all
match-ups, but they almost always end up in tragic circumstances.
"On the other hand, a karmic partner, although hard to find, would
create a stable relationship, with no external forces trying to separate
them. Although they are a near perfect match-up, it has a higher degree
of stability than most soulmates would. It is all in the stars."
Sayuri snapped her fingers. "You mean like Lois Lane and Clark
Kent? You know, in the TV series Lois and Clark? They spent a few
seasons on the verge of getting married, then spent the next few ones
trying to avoid the super-villains that try to rip them apart."
"You don't say," Akane said, slightly bewildered. But there was
this certain ring of truth that she found indismissible.
Ranma leaned slightly back, but remembered the fountain behind
him. He sat back up straight again. "Still, I still think that you're
the one who decides your fate, and no crummy stars are going to change
that."
"Believe what you want, Ranma. There's no changing fate." She
closed her eyes for a little while. "Aha. I feel him coming. He will
arrive..." she pointed to the other side of the fountain, "... in that
general direction."
They all looked at where she was pointing. Junior was playing
with some marbles he had found. Yuka and Sayuri bigsweated. Ranma and
Akane, on the other hand, stared.
"You mean, you know that kid?!?" they exclaimed at the same time.
Mio found herself reddening. "Of course not. I said that they
were going to come, not coming right now."
"They?" Akane asked. "Who's they?"
Sayuri found it her turn to explain. "You see... Mio's blind date
needed to have some people with him."
Hiroshi and Daisuke arrived in two flicks of a dime, with
Gosunkugi on a reluctant third toss.
Hiroshi got a small microphone from out of nowhere. "Look who's
here! It's the coolest man in the universe! Hikaru Gosunkugi!"
Daisuke's ears were ringing. "Hiroshi, it didn't have to be that
loud."
Gosunkugi began to wither at Akane's nonchalant glance, but perked
up at some mystic aura emanating from Mio.
"I thought so..." Ranma walked over to the trio. "What was that
you guys said that you were going to do today? Try out a new game at
Gosunkugi's place?" He shook his head, "what a lousy excuse."
Hiroshi retorted, "what about your lame excuses whenever more than
one fianc�e shows up at the same time?"
Sayuri followed through. "Men like you don't deserve to be
matched up with any women, {Count(Ranma.Fiancees@Japan)}-timer!"
Akane was beginning to get angry. "You mean to tell me that you
were going on a triple date without me knowing?"
Yuka replied, "Daisuke did think that you were going to bring
Ranma along, and he was right." She glanced at Daisuke, who glanced at
the same time on some silent signal. "Guess that's it's going to be a
quadruple date," she said smiling.
"No... It's going to be a quintuple date." Nabiki and Kuno
appeared from the other side of the fountain. She spoke to Akane.
"Since you and Ranma were in such a hurry to get away from the park a
while ago, I had to dig Kuno out with my bare hands." She smiled.
"Cost him a fortune."
Kuno opened his mouth, with expected results. "Ranma Saotome.
Only infidels like you would leave wounded men behind. Do you have no
honor to leave a fair woman like Nabiki Tendo to dig me out from the
hollowed ground, to do work not reserved for women? You enemy of women!
I shall smite thee when the time is right. Prepare yourself."
He looked in Akane's direction. "Oh, blessed Akane. Though thou
longst to throw yourself into my arms, I beg thee to wait, for I must
honor the request of Nabiki Tendo. Fear not! For I still love you as
long as the sun does shine and the sky be blue."
Ranma groaned.
Of course, things get worse all the time.
Ukyo arrived with Ryoga in tow. "Hey! Ranma invited me, too, you
know." She glomped over Ranma's right arm. She gave this angry look at
Ryoga, who slid over to Akane. Ryoga said, embarrassedly laughing, "I
guess that this is going to be a... uh... seven person date..."
"Eight very lucky in China!" Shampoo arrived with Junior in tow.
"Ranma, don't forget Shampoo! And little Ranma."
"LITTLE RANMA!"
Akane and Ranma just sighed. "Here we go again..."
{
Mayhem took a cold sip of ice tea. He noticed the two staring at him a
bit strangely.
"..."
"Uh... Have I been overdoing the 'Junior' gag?"
"..."
"Fine..."
}
Nikholas F. Toledo Zu @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/mezza9.html
Vector, Switch, Yebah, Rain Man, goo, Pervert, Scruples, Hollie, NomaD,
Blitz, Gee, Datzo, Jewel, Elf, Radler, Pinball, Mayhem, Chaos, Father, Attar
Fanfiction @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/fanfics.html
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Word from the Laity: Wipe yer feet! Bloody 'ell...
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/3145/index.html
Currently under construction... confessional at the links.
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