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|Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!Mayhem!|
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=> Warning! This fic contains excessive amounts of sugar! With
Valentine's day nearing, every single media in existence has been
turning out sugar bombs that try to mutate all of us into starry-eyed
idiots. Sad to say, they have converted me into their sorry lot.
=> Although I'm *not* proud to be among the few people who dread the
coming of February, I am forced, under the pain of insanity, torture,
slow death, (and lots of other horrible things to graphic to mention),
to write this fic. Writing romance stories makes me feel all good
inside. <gasp> It's starting already! Somebody! Whack me on the
head! <Whack, whack> Thanks, I needed that.
=> I'm warning you at this point in time that the fic has a *really
cheesy ending*.
=> Also, the plot (actually the ending) is not really my original idea.
I would like to thank my contributor (who still desires to remain
nameless) for coming up with the cheesy ending that started the wheels
turning in my mind to come up with a story to match. May she (and all
those other nameless people) find our own cheesy ending sometime in the
foreseeable future.
=> Some notes on notation. Things in {curly braces} are author's
comments within the fic. Signs and sound effects are in... uh...
<pointy braces>
=> The disclaimer is at the end, and the more people I would like to
thank.
=> Will somebody whack me so I can start? Thanks.
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Twenty Less Lonely People in the World
<otherwise known as Mayhem's Valentine Fic with the Cheesy Ending>
By the currently sessile (not senile) Nikholas "Mayhem" F. Toledo
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{
"Hey! You mean a kid is going to solve everything?" Daisuke asked
disbelievingly.
"And... his... he..." Hiroshi followed through.
"Watch and learn..."
}
Chapter Two
Letting go of the past
"Yes... The Tendo Dojo will be taking care of Junior," Soun said
to the gathered group around the low-slung table in the dining room.
The little boy and Genma-panda were playing at the far corner of the
room. Ranma, Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki were at their usual places at the
table.
Soun continued, "this little boy was left by his father---"
Ranma ran over to where Genma-panda was playing with the little
kid after Soun's declaration. He grabbed Genma by the scruff of his
neck. "ALRIGHT, POP! ANSWER ME! IS ALL OF THIS YOUR FAULT?!?" <Hey!
I didn't do anything wrong!>
Akane grabbed Ranma. She glowed an angry blue. "Well... Since he
can't be a new fianc�e (unless Mr. Saotome was *really* desperate for a
meal at the time)..." She glared at them with an evil eye. "IS THIS
YOUR SON, RANMA?!"
Ranma began to stammer. "Hey! It's not my fault!"
"You're being defensive. So he *is* your son then!"
The three began arguing.
It became even worse when the kid decided to take part in the
growing heap of anger at the center of the room. When no one was
looking, he tackled Genma, tickling him. In the m�l�e of furry arms and
legs and falling bodies and crashing plates, something happened that
only Kasumi saw, and she smiled.
After a few minutes of screaming and shouting and nobody-knowing-
exactly-what-was-going-on, Miss Hinako chose it proper to drain everyone
in the room (that is, the men) to restore order and discipline, in the
Ninomiya way.
Since Soun was drained, Miss Hinako spoke for him. "First of all,
I would like to say that Mr. Saotome here," she meant the two Saotomes
as they lay down on the floor, "has had nothing to do with the case of
this child." She tweaked his ear a little bit. "This little boy was
found lost at the train station this morning, calling for his father.
Most probably, he had been separated from him in the early morning rush.
The Nerima town council has moved to help the plight of this child. The
police had been contacted and they are searching throughout the entirety
of Tokyo trying to find the missing father. Your father, being the Town
Council chairman, was elected to take care of the child until his father
is found."
"You mean, the town council wants *us* to take care of the child?"
Nabiki asked inquisitively. She took a deep breath before she began the
cross-examination. "Isn't it strange that the Town council would want
to ask a *martial arts* family to take care of a small brat? I mean,
they could have had some other family to baby-sit, like the Addams
family (a classic horror type family) or the Partridge family (an
extinct 1970's band type family) or maybe even the Huxtable family in
the Bill Cosby show (a wholesome comedy family)." She glared at Miss
Hinako. "There *is* something wrong with this kid." It was a
statement, not a question.
Miss Hinako was unfazed. "Yes, there is. As you did see awhile
ago, the kid's a bit mischievous, and could cause a lot of damage if not
properly taken care off."
"So you're going to dump the brat here, just like that?"
"Miss Tendo, I assure you: the town council is doing the best
that they can. For that matter..." Miss Hinako paused as if trying to
think something over, "... I would be staying here for awhile to help in
disciplining the child."
Soun weakly rose from the floor. Miss Hinako helped him to sit,
not looking into his eyes. Akane felt something strange pass by that
wasn't there a while ago, but it was gone.
Soun said, "before we are interrupted again, I would dare suggest
that Ranma and Akane be the ones to take care of the child."
This was met by a loud groan from the floor and a loud protest
somewhere to Mr. Tendo's right.
"DAD!" Akane said, "You mean you want me and Ranma to take care
of him?!?"
Kasumi smiled. "Father, that's so clever. That way, they can
prepare for the time that they will have kids of their own."
Soun had already regained his strength. "Since, someday, you two
would be married and will have your own children, it would only be best
if you started taking care of children, even now. Please, I leave him
to you two. It is your duty as martial artists and as heirs of the
Anything-Goes School." Little rivers began to flow from Soun's eyes.
"Take him around town; maybe somebody will recognize him and he will
finally be reunited with his family. Please, think of the poor father
who most probably is worried sick now."
Nabiki said, "what father means to say is that, to avoid any
further damage to the house, you better take him out for a walk... Isn't
that right, daddy."
"But, dad," Akane said, "I have a date today, with all my friends.
We've planning it for a week. I can't go ahead and just cancel it."
"But you can take Junior here with you, and Ranma. It would be
like you're one big happy family."
Akane sighed, nodding. "This isn't a date, Ranma. You better not
forget it."
"Like I would *want* to be seen in public with an uncute tomboy
like you and a very naughty kid like him."
Akane replied by unceremoniously dumping the dining table on his
head.
Nabiki said, "Don't think of it as marriage training, Akane.
Think of it as babysitting." She rose up to leave. "Excuse me, but
I've got a few calls to make." Akane walked out with her.
Junior poked Ranma in the head. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, go away."
"Okay, then!" he responded by spraying him with water from the
squirt gun.
{
Hiroshi interrupted the narration rudely. He asked, "how come Miss
Hinako only drains men? Don't you remember, Daisuke, when she came to
Furinkan, she drained only the guys. I call that sexual discrimination.
If she should drain us guys, she should drain girls, too."
Mayhem replied, "Well, she did drain most of Ranma's other fianc�es in
the manga. But do take note: the only other females in the scene were
the three Tendo daughters. Now, we wouldn't want to drain Kasumi, would
we? Nabiki could retaliate in ways that Miss Hinako can't
counterattack, even with her power, and Akane's... not the kind of
person who would be drained."
It was Daisuke who had the best answer. "Well... aren't Soun, Ranma
and Genma the major causes of trouble in the Tendo Dojo, aside from
Happosai?"
They left it at that.
}
Nikholas F. Toledo Zu @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/mezza9.html
Vector, Switch, Yebah, Rain Man, goo, Pervert, Scruples, Hollie, NomaD,
Blitz, Gee, Datzo, Jewel, Elf, Radler, Pinball, Mayhem, Chaos, Father, Attar
Fanfiction @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/fanfics.html
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The logo of the Church of All Worlds is nine concentric circles.
Word from the Laity: Wipe yer feet! Bloody 'ell...
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/3145/index.html
Currently under construction... confessional at the links.
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