Thanks for the MST, Eric and Sarah! Your stuff is always great laughs. 

To respond to some of the points you made:

"Eric Adams" <eric.adams@decisionone.COM> wrote:

Eric: so why didja pick Philly?  its not an especially magnificent city,
theres really not much here, i suppose cuz i live here i'm a little
biased about the geographical aspects of it.  A huge tower in philly
would definitely stand out.

Um... wouldja believe it's an alternate universe? :-)

Actually, I picked Philly because of its proximity to Wharton School Of
Business, which is where Nabby studied for her MBA. If it strains
belivability too much, I could just as easily move it somewhere else, or
even to Undesignated City USA.

Sarah: a couple of points on the characterization, Truly Kasumi is an
interesting character, unfortunately Nabiki seems rather flat.  She
hasnt changed one bit and most of the characters in your stories seem to
have gone through some significant changes.  nabiki is just the same old
nabiki, except you gave her a rather inane dream.  Also its rather
amusing on one point because to her the bottomline is all that matters
to her as well.  The ends justify the means.

Eric: i'm forced to agree her as well, Nabiki is dull she hasnt changed,
she never learns her lessons even being beat up when she was young hasnt
changed her one bit.  Also shes dull cuz shes too perfect in her own
world, no rivals, no one to match her.  In her you have created a truly
contemptible character.  Hell i dont even dislike her, i just think shes
contemptible.

Reaction has been mixed on Nabiki. What I was aiming for was something
between the two usual fanfic characterizations for her (the "good" and
the "bad"). This is a Nabz who wants to do the right thing, but has
bitten off more than anyone could chew, and is going about it in a way
that's fundamentally unworkable.

Sarah: kasumi is still an interesting side story and she has some depth,
although i'm curious about the part on free will.  and i wonder if thats
an aspect of the story you intended or just accidentally stumbled
across.  Even she says to Nabiki that she seems honor bound to do it and
wouldnt want to disappoint her mother.

Um, actually it was Kaede she said that to. And yes, it's an intentional
theme in the story. Kasumi's had to (or chose to) give up a lot of her
life in order to help her family, and more or less the same thing is
happening again.

Anyway, many thanks for the review!


Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe