The Day of Emergence
A Ranma 1/2/David Eddings/Sailor Moon crossover MST
This is a MSTing of a fanfic by Jeffrey Lee <ranma@faradic.net>, who
now calls himself Belphera. We certainly do not intend to offend him;
everything here is said with a sense of fun. I should note also that
the author posted a note claiming that the fic's, uh, unusual naming scheme
(you'll see what I mean) was the responsibility of his roommate and not
himself. I have no way of knowing if this is true, but he was the one
that posted it in this form and that's how it was MSTed.
No infringement is intended on the copyrights of the owners of Ranma 1/2,
David Eddings's Belgariad, and Sailor Moon. Or on that of Best Brains,
the creator of MST3K, for that matter.
This is an unusual MSTing. It wasn't written by just one or two people;
instead, eight different authors were involved. We all gathered in an
IRC channel and fed the fic in, making comments as we saw fit. Later,
the IRC scripts were edited and converted into this form.
C&C is welcome; it may be sent to the FFML, directly to me to be
distributed, or to everyone on the list below.
Authors (Alphabetical):
Lara Bartram (lara@emunix.emich.edu)
Ed Becerra (eabecerr@henge1.henge.com)
D.Fire (phongb9@IDT.NET)
Vincent Diamante (diamante@gonzaga.org)
Sean Gaffney (Gaffney@iconn.net)
Dustin Goeller (stinky@azstarnet.com)
Gary Kleppe (kleppe@execpc.com)
Thomas Schmidt (Tschmidt@tcon.net)
IRC scripts edited by:
Thomas Schmidt
Vincent Diamante
SOL Sequences by:
Megane 6.7 (fcasper@yesic.com)
Gary Kleppe
Thomas Schmidt
DEEP 13
The figure emerged from the bottom of the steps and slowly
placed his hands on his hips. Clad in a leather jacket and hat, a
bullwhip on one hip and a gun on the other. Dr. Clayton Forrester could
have almost passed for "Weird Al" Yankovic playing Indiana Jones....
"Shake a leg, Frank!" Dr. Forrester called out as he looked
into the darkness ahead. Somewhere in that abyss was this week's
experiment, and he was going to find it. Dr. Forrester cocked his ear as
he was alerted to the sound of someone approaching from behind.
Instantly he whirled around, about to unleash the vicious bite of his
bullwhip.
His jaw dropped as he saw his assistant, T.V's Frank, clad in a
white T-shirt about four or five sizes too small and green shorts to
match. He wore a pair of small round sunglasses and his hair was tied
into a pigtail. "What in the name of TWIGGY are you supposed to be?!?!"
Dr. Forrester exclaimed in disbelief.
"Well, you dressed like Indiana Jones so I thought I'd go as
Tomb Raider's Lara Croft!" Frank replied proudly.
Dr. Forrester facefaulted. Frank walked over to the darkness
and lit a flare. "You coming, Dr. F?" Frank inquired.
"Give me a moment...." Dr. Forrester replied. "I suddenly have
an overwhelming craving for Pepto Bismol...."
* * *
A few minutes later, the two began their search. Frank led
the way with a lit flare with Dr. Forrester trying to avoid looking at
Frank directly. It wasn't long before they came upon an long ominous
hallway....
"What do you think, Dr. F?" Frank said.
"Probably booby trapped...." Dr. Forrester replied
thoughtfully.
"So what should we do?" Frank asked.
"Only one way to be sure...." Dr. Forrester replied as he
suddenly shoved Frank hard down the corridor. Immediately poison darts
and blades began firing from the walls. Frank screamed as they stuck
all over his body. He barely managed to reach the other side before
collapsing in a heap. Meanwhile Dr. Forrester calmly walked down the
now safe passage and prepared a syringe to keep Frank going for a little
longer....
* * *
Finally they arrived at the entrance of a large stone chamber.
At the end of it stood a pedestal where the fanfic rested, illuminated
by a single beam of light from the ceiling. Dr. Forrester stepped
forward, his eyes widened and hands on his hips once more as he took in
the view.
"There it is, Frank...."
Dr. Forrester slowly and carefully made his way forward, drawing
ever closer to the pedestal until he was right in front of it. He
slowly rubbed his face and chin and made a mental note to shave tomorrow
morning.
Then he carefully flexed his arms and fingers, his hands sure
and steady as a rock as he placed them on each side of the fanfic. He
then took a deep breath and released it slowly. Then he whispered.
"Okay, get the fanfic Frank...."
Dr. Forrester backed out of range as Frank walked towards the
pedestal and snatched the fanfic. A few moments later, the entire
chamber began to shake.
"I knew we shouldn't have used wooden framework for a stone
chamber!" Dr. Forrester exclaimed as he snatched the fanfic from Frank
and bolted towards the exit. When they reached the ominous hallway, a
door was rapidly descending at the end. Frank and Dr. F looked at each
other and ran like hell, trying to reach the door before it was too
late....
"Slide Frank! Slide!" Dr. Forrester cried out as Frank leapt
forward and slide across the stone floor. He was halfway through the
door when it crashed against his shoulders, trapping him but leaving
enough of a gap for Dr. Forrester to slip through unharmed.
"Good work, Frank." Dr. Forrester said as he dusted himself
off.
"No problem, Steve....Uh....Could you help me out of here now?"
Frank asked nervously.
"Not to worry, Frank." Dr. Forrester reassured him. "Once I
get back to the lab, I'll bring a chainsaw to severe your head and build
a new body for you. In the meantime, rest here...."
"W...Wait!" Frank cried out, to no avail as Dr. Forrester left
him behind....
* * *
Dr. Forrester was nearing the starting point when another loud
rumbling noise was heard....
"Uh-oh...."
Dr. Forrester looked up to see the giant boulder above about to
roll at him and he quickly hits the dirt, allowing the boulder to roll
past harmlessly. He got back to his feet and patted himself on the
shoulder for being clever enough to evade the trap....
Then he bigsweated as the boulder continued on its path to crash
against the bottom of the stairwell to Deep 13, blocking it off and
effectively trapping him here.
"Shazbot!" Dr. Forrester cursed. "How the hell am I going to
get out of here?"
"I've got an idea!" Frank said as he stared at the wreckage.
"Frank! How did you get out of the door?" A shocked Dr.
Forrester asked.
"Butter in my cleavage." Frank replied as he continued to study
the rock above the boulder where a small opening had appeared. "I think
I can climb up there and then lower a rope for you to climb up...."
"Are you nuts?! That opening must be six to seven meters high!
You'll never...."
Suddenly, Frank did a complete backflip onto a small ledge in
the wall nearby, then immediately followed it with a forward flip high
into the sky. Frank's fingers caught the edge of the opening, and
grunting with the exertion, he pulled himself up. Dr. Forrester was in
complete and total shock at the superhuman move.
"How....How in the world did you...." Dr. Forrester stammered.
"Oh that little move? I've sweated to a lot of oldies over the
years. You just can't tell because I'm big-boned...." Frank replied as
he lowered a rope for Dr. Forrester to climb up.
"Do you think you could teach me that move, Frank?" Dr.
Forrester asked.
"We'll see, Steve. In the meantime, let's get the fic to Joel
and the bots....
* * *
Joel Robinson slapped the button on the console. "Hey, sirs!" he
said to the electronic image of his captors. "Is it time for the
invention exchange?"
"Yes!" Dr. Forrester snapped back. "What did you think we were,
telephone solicitors?"
TV's Frank stepped up. "You know, Joel, you and your family
could be saving up to thirty percent on long-distance calls to...."
"Frank." Forrester's voice was calm, but some implied threat in
it halted his assistant in mid-sentence. "Well, Sailor Joel, taste the
power of my invention for this week. Any lemon writer knows that once he
or she posts a story with explicit sexual content to the internet, he or
she has no control over who ends up reading it. Many of the readers are
bound to be the kind who, shall we say, are just not ready to be reading
lemons."
He swiveled a computer monitor into view. "That's why I've come
up with something I like to call the Lemon Peeler. It's a module that
you can plug into a web sire, or attach to an E-mail message or Usenet
posting." He turned to his assistant. "Oh, Frank?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"I don't suppose you'd be interested in reading a fanfiction
story? The title is 'Ukyo and Shampoo have hot, steamy sex with Ranma.'"
"Male Ranma or female?"
"Both."
"Wow!" Frank rushed for the computer screen as Forrester
returned his attention to Joel and the 'bots.
"You see, Joelly-cakes, the Lemon Peeler has a program that
analyses the reader's basic personality and psychology. If it finds that
his maturity is a little... lacking, it automatically replaces the lemon
with something more suitable."
"Hey!" Frank exclaimed. "This is a transcript of Barney and
friends!"
"Tough luck, Frank." Forrester's head was turned away so that
Frank couldn't see him snickering.
Frank turned away from the screen in disgust. "Who gave you the
idea for this invention, anyway?"
"Nobody in particular, Frank. Your turn, kawaii Joel-chan!"
Joel nodded. "Well, you may or may not be familiar with the
sickeningly popular fantasy author David Eddings. As every Eddings
fan knows, his career is built around writing the same book over and
over again. The Belgariad, the Mallorean, the Elenium, the Tamuli; all
modern classics of fantasy literature, and all featuring reluctant heroes
defeating evil gods with magical blue stones. Sadly, Eddings is getting
older, and his turnout is slowing down. That's where my invention comes
in."
Joel held up a small lcd screen attached to a keyboard and a parallel
port. "The David Eddings Fantasy Book Generator takes the familiar elements
of Eddings fiction and repackages them into a shiny new whole. All you do is
type in names for the different character stereotypes, and it prints out a
whole book!" Joel gestured at a thick stack of paper. "I've prepared a small
demonstration. Go ahead, Crow!"
Crow cleared his throat. "BelT'wer lifted the ancient blue crystal
to the sky. It crackled and sizzled in his grip; it would have killed any
man without his pedigree. Beside him, his many friends masterfully derailed
the Rathian onslaught. 'Die, you bastard!' his beautiful and wise mentor
exclaimed, running the hideous Rathian chieftain through with deliberate
ease."
"That's quite enough of that," Dr. Forrester said, shuddering. "As
you've already surmised, your fanfiction for today is a crossover with David
Eddings, also involving Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2." He appeared thoughtful
for a moment. "Words can not describe it, it must be experienced. Deal with
it, pasty boy!"
Lights flashed and buzzers blared in the Satellite of Love. "Oh,
we got movie sign!" Joel shouted, as one at a time, the large doors to
the cinema slid open.
* * *
Jeffrey Lee wrote:
Well I was reading a fic on a cross for Ranma and Eddings, so I decided
that I would write one too but I would add in Sailor Moon. Anyways
that's all I gotta say, and now on with the story
Tom: Eddy? Eddy's a pretty good writer...
Crow: Not Eddy. Eddings. Fantasy writer. Boring books. Etc.
ad infinitum.
Tom: You got your Sailor Moon in my Ranma!
Joel: You got your Ranma in my Sailor Moon!
Crow: And they taste really bad.
Crossover: R1/2, SM, Eddings
The Day of Emergence
Prologue
The black vacuum of space swirled around the universe, as she looked
about herself looking at her children. What dears they were, of course
some of them could be very bad at times, however overall they were nice
children.
Crow: Make up your mind!
Joel: Now dear! You put down that severed head right now and do your
algebra!
Tom: But mommy! Can't I dismember just one more? Pretty please?
Joel: Oh, okay...but only for one more hour.
Crow: How is she looking about herself looking at her children?
With a periscope? A mirror?
Tom: Wandering eye syndrome?
Joel: Maybe she's crosseyed.
Then wincing at the memory of loosing her beautiful son
Torack. He had been so dear to her, but he was a mistake,
Joel: She had thought for ten years that she had had a daughter.
Crow: You want to talk about mistakes? Well, this whole fic is a mistake!
Tom: Aren't you being a little too harsh?
Crow: You haven't read it all the way...
Eriond now took the place of Torack and filled her heart with joy
again, but still Torack would never die in her mind, his memory still
lives.
Joel: [Eriond] But Mom!!
Crow: [Universe] Shut up! You're not my real boy!
All of a sudden UL appeared before Universe.
Tom: What does UL mean, anyway?
Crow: Underwriters' Laboratories?
Joel: Ursula Londquist?
Crow: Who?
Joel: Girl I knew in high school.
Crow: Joel, get help.
Seeing her husband, she materialized into a more acceptable form.
Tom: She materialized as Kathy Ireland?
Crow: [UL] "Whoa! That's pretty damn acceptable!"
Sensing dread in her husband she spoke. " Husband what troubles you?"
UL Looked at his hands and then began to weep. Tears flowed freely
falling into his hands and down into space. This was not good, the last
time she saw her husband this distressed was when the division had
occurred.
Tom: He really hated fractions.
UL quickly summoned a chair for the two to sit in, then taking her hand
he looked into her eternal white eyes and said,
Crow: "Martin is on, honey. Cry later."
Tom: Why summon only one chair for the two of them?
Joel: You'd think the personification of the universe could afford some
decent furnishings.
" It is time."
Tom: "Five minutes to Wapner!"
Crow: "Time for some serious luuuuvvvv..."
Tom: You know, I've always wondered how deities and spirits
actually, you know. Get it...nevermind.
Joel: Good. You haven't drifted to the other way. The difficult way.
The ridiculed way. The Hentai way. The curds and whey...
Chpt1. The Past
Sun dawned over the Tokyo as the citizens began their daily chores.
Most everything looks normal but in the ward of Nermia nothing is
normal. There was a sudden shout followed by a young man flying upwards
into the sky.
Tom: Nothing is normal. Including verb tenses.
Crow: Nermia? Will we see Ukkyo and Nadoka, too?
Joel: Up in the sky! It's a man! It's a young man! It's...
Tom: Ataru Moroboshi!
It is a pigtailed youth wearing a red tunic and black
pants, beneath him is a steaming girl with short hair-cut. Their names
were John and Akane.
Crow: JOHN!?!??
Tom: MARSHA!!!!!
Joel: It was a low budget fic. They couldn't afford Ranma.
Crow: Ranma was holding out for a percentage of the gross.
Tom: No wonder Akane is steaming.
Joel: If she's steaming, does that mean she could change Ranma...er...
John back?
Crow: Beh...there shouldn't be a John in this fic. This fic should
be in the John.
Running along side his fianc�e John was speeding towards the bus
before it left.
Tom: He was pulled over and ticketed.
It was too bad that he and Akane had to go to college.
Reflecting about his past few years since he arrived here, and the
non-stop flow of fiancees he has had he didn't understand how he could
have survived.
But he did. It wasn't until three years ago, when he had
just turned 19, when he put his foot down on the fiancee business.
Joel: "Ran-chan! Get your foot off my neck!"
Telling Shampoo that he couldn't marry her and then defeating Cologne
for the decision was a hard thing to do.
Crow: He was then married to Cologne.
Joel: The refs had been going to give the decision to her before he
"talked" to them.
Tom: But luckily, Mousse was there, and Shampoo fell for him
completely unrealistically.
However the old ghoul was kinder about it than he thought, instead of
being angry with him, she just said that he was now part of the tribe
regardless of blood or marriage, as her heir
Joel: [Shampoo] "Shampoo clean your heir, Ranma!"
he was considered to he of a high rank.
Tom: Wow! It's rare you find plot conveniences that quickly!
Joel: That's so nice of Cologne...almost makes you want to cry.
Crow: This fic makes me want to cry.
Tom: You know, why didn't Ran...er...John do this in the first place?
Joel: Because Takahashi has some sense.
The days following that was such a good time for him, the
old ghoul and Happosai took him on a training trip for six months
training in a sub-dimension
Joel: Sub-dimension? I went there last week! I had turkey on wheat!
where time passed quickly, while the outside world passed at the rate
of a year per two weeks in the sub- dimension.
Tom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Crow: Uhm...Tom? It wasn't _that_ funny. I'd give it ten "ha"s.
No more.
Joel: I thought his name was "John," not "Goku."
Tom: Dragonball is Maison Ikkoku compared to this.
When he had finally left the sub-dimension Cologne and Happosai had
told him that it was time for them to pass on.
Crow: Finally! Something good out of this fic!
Tom: Happosai as Gandalf? Not!
Crow: "I am now to be known as the Grey Pervert."
In doing this they had taught
him all they knew and more, he was now the pinnacle of martial arts.
They also told him that he was really the great-great grandson of the
two of them.
All: WHAT!!??!?!?!!?
Joel: My loins will never stir again.
Crow: McPlots. The official sponsor of 1997-98 Sailor Moon/WWF crossovers.
Saying good-bye the two of the most powerful martial
artists passed away.
Tom: And there was much rejoicing.
Joel: [passes around the champagne] Happy is dead! Cologne is dead!
Hip hip hooray!
Crow: Then they went to hell where they burned for all eternity.
When he returned he dealt with Ukyo and Kodachi. Ukyo was not at all
happy with the decision he had made, but had found Ryouga to be a
companion. However the two were alone for both their families had died
a long time past.
Crow: So they remained alone and unloved.
Tom: "Ran-chan, I'm not at all happy! But Ryouga's a companion!"
Nevertheless, they were happy.
Tom: Ukyou and Ryouga? Together? You don't say! I would have never
imagined!
Crow: Uhm...Joel? What are you doing?
Joel: *taps his heels three times* There's no place like home,
There's no place like home...
Tom: Sorry. You have to suffer with us.
Joel: ACK! *starts digging out his heart with a spoon*
Kodachi was another case, while he was gone, the her father passed
away due to a assassination.
Joel: Who would have assasinated principal Kuno?
Crow: Dole Pineapple Co.
He was killed so that a distant relative could inherit the Kuno
fortune. Kuno fought back against the law for a month with Nabiki.
Crow: The Law of Plot Convenience.
Eventually they won and the two became close. Of course they became
engaged, leaving Kodachi with no one.
Tom: Of course.
When John came back he saw Kodachi and felt and overwhelming pity for
her, she was sitting in her garden trying to make a poison to kill
herself.
Tom: And he helped her.
Crow: "C'mon Kodachi! You can do it!"
Joel: "No, Kodachi! In your mouth!"
Wrestling the poison away from her, he managed to get her to
come live with him.
Tom: Inviting her to John and Akane's place for dinner'll keep her
alive. Inducing vomiting, you know.
Joel: So will this fic, though.
Tom: Ranmos: The Fic of Fate.
Crow: You mean "Johnmos."
Finally there was Akane, the one fiancee he truly
loved, after a month of planning, he proposed to her and agreed that
they would marry.
Joel: Of course, Kodachi always made trouble, asking what John had done
with Ranma. But they fed her Akane's cooking and it shut her right
up.
Shampoo eventually rejected Mouse for the last time so he left and
married a girl named Conditioner. Kasumi also married, to Dr. Tofu.
Tom: My. What surprises. They certainly shocked me. I never expected
them. And that name. How original. Yes, this is certainly a fine
fanfic.
Crow: It certainly is. Very fine. Yes.
In the midst of everyone getting married, John and Akane planned their
wedding after Nabiki's wedding. What they did not know was Nodoka's
planning behind them.
Crow: [Nodoka] "Ranma's rear end is so manly!"
Joel: Thank God! For a moment I was afraid there was a standard
matchup that this author wasn't going to do!
Tom: *sniffle* I always cry at cliche weddings.
John's mother Nodoka then did two things that changed John's life
forever and made it what it was today. After John got married to Akane,
Nodoka gave John the magical water that split him in two, a Jane and a
John. Jane was John's female half, but now his sister.
Crow: "Jane! Stop this crazy fic!!!"
Joel: See Jane run. See Jane fight. See Jane star in crappy fic.
Tom: Nodoka just wanted to see how manly her daughter would have been.
However, as great as that was, the second swift action stunned everyone
except Nodoka and Gemna. The two Saotome heads adopted Ukyo, Kodachi,
and Shampoo.
Crow: And started an adolescent prostitution ring.
Tom: [Genma] Served the little whores right.
Joel: You know, that would be a pretty good fic.
Crow: Yeah, not like this one.
And so it came to pass that Nodoka used some of her family funds (which
was a hell of a lot, think in the billions)
Tom: [Carl Sagan] Billions and billions.
and bought some of the surrounding land and houses around the Tendo
Dojo. Then she built the dream house that she always wanted.
Crow: With Bill Gates as her concubine.
At last John had a real family, four sisters, all of whom he loved very
dearly, a wife, two sister-in-laws, two brother-in-laws, a real father
(Gemna really cleaned up his act with the presence of four daughters), a
father-in-law, and a real mother.
Joel: And a partridge in a pear tree.
Tom: This is like WAFF without any of the interesting parts.
Crow: It's like WAFF without the WAFF.
Life was great, just when he thought it couldn't get any better,
Tom: He WOKE UP!
Crow: And a bus ran them all over and they died.
Joel: Then Dr. Tofu fell down an open sewer. And so it went.
Tom: Oh my!
John was borne a son by Akane just a year after their marriage. Ukyo
finally married Ryouga, as they too had a son. John and the rest of
them went off to college, and were planning to transfer to a college in
America later.
Joel: And all live in the same dorm room.
Crow: Just when you thought the fic couldn't get any stupider...
Nodoka and Gemna also had another pair of children (twins!), named
Keichii and Kimiko. Life was great, even though John still got into
arguments with Akane once in a while.
Tom: They argued about John wanting Akane to change her name to
Lolita.
This is what brings the story up to now.
In another reality
Things were going smoothly for the Chibas. Darien and Serena were
married right after she got out of high school,
Joel: She was fifty-seven.
Crow: And getting laid by football players every night.
the others all remained
best friends, however there were no more threats, so no need for the
secret society. Serena was currently going to an American college. Her
friends and family all moved to America for many different reasons.
Tom: But mainly for plot convienience.
Rei for the reason that her grandfather died, and the memory of the
temple was too great. Makoto so that she could learn new techniques of
learning, and to leave the past of her pregnancy behind. Jake was the
product of Mamoru and Makoto.
Joel: Scalar Product? Cross Product? Vector Product?
As it had happened, Mamoru had
impregnated her at her senior year of high school.
Tom: That pimp.
Serena had forgiven the two for their tryst and loved Jake dearly. Mina
came so that she could be with her boyfriend Mike. Ami came for the
obvious reasons,
Tom: To be with Mina's boyfriend Mike.
Joel: But what of Rhonda's love for Edgar? Tune in tomorrow!
to learn more. The others came to protect Serena. Alex and Michelle came
so that they could start their lives over again. They both lost
the bond that held them together, and so they broke up. The move
to America gave them a new chance with becoming friends, and meeting
new loves. Elaine
Tom: Cool, a Seinfeld crossover.
came with them for there was nothing left in Japan for her. Overall
things were running smoothly.
Crow: [chanting] "Yea, though I wander in the valley of bad fics,
I fear no evil, for my lord is with me, your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."
In the last reality
The king of Riva slept peacefully in a slumber as his wife slept next
to him.
Tom: He slept sleeping in his sleepy slumber.
Peace had been brought to them after Ce'Nedra's third child, two years
ago. The Murgos and the Malloreans both united and finally became one.
Crow: The Murgolloreans!
Eriond was quickly becoming an influence to all the Angaracks. The
other event that happened was the decree. All of Garion and Ce'Nedra's
children were to become immortal.
Joel: I so decree it! Woe if it is not so!
Ce'Nedra also became immortal for her tree quickly became a tree like
the one in the Vale. Other than that nothing much happened.
Garion
Garion quickly bolted up at the sound of the Prophecy in his head
again. Alert, he replied,
Yes? Is there something wrong?
Tom: Yes! We're stuck inside a crappy fanfic!
No, But I came to tell you something, get a paper and pen, or perhaps a
scribe.
Joel: Whatever happened to quote marks?
Crow: Cool Prophecies don't dick around with quote marks.
Why? No never mind. I'll go right away.
Tom: [Garion] At the sound of the tone, please leave a prediction.
I'll be sure to return your call as soon as possible.
Good your learning. There has been an Event and a new change will
descend upon the Universe.
You will soon have visitors, and they will have some special abilities.
Be prepared. The Universe will over wash herself.
Tom: Does Universe have a jacuzzi?
Joel: The universe is starring in a zest commercial!
There will be a final battle between Good and Evil, and you are
directly involved with it.
Tom: There will be things going on. There will be people who will have
stuff.
Crow: And the award for most incoherent dialogue goes to...!
Why Me?
And so the Gathering began.
Chpt2. The Gathering
John sat in class staring at the clock on the wall wishing that the
time would pass quicker.
Tom: Considering the rest of his life passed in four paragraphs....
He had already been in this math class for the past hour, and was
drifting off. A nudge from the right and left made him think twice, as
Ukyou and Jane both poked him in the ribs. Today was a special day for
John, his son was going to turn one. They were planning to go to a
temple to give him some blessings,
Crow: [John] Yeah, I'll give him some "blessings."
then John decided that he would give his son the a medallion he had
received from Cologne.
Joel: Cologne had gotten this medallion from a Disco King...
Thinking back to the time she had given it to him, he could never
believe that was the same Cologne he knew when she was trying to get
him married to Shampoo.
Tom: Yeah! I have a hard time believing that one too!
She was his grandmother, it was so amazing, after all this time too. He
wept when she left with his grandfather, two of the most important
people left and laid a huge responsibility on his shoulders, to be the
heir to their school.
Joel: That was why the principal had been assasinated, so that he could not
interfere with their plans.
Crow: Riiiight...
Joel: You know. By cutting off their heir.
Tom & Crow: Groan...
But thinking back to his son, he was glad that his son was getting
this pendant, for it was a legacy of their heritage. Looking back to
the clock on the wall, he saw that there were still five minutes until
the end of class. Holding his breath he closed his eyes and pretended
to make time go faster. That was until he felt a hit across his head.
Joel: A number one solid gold record!
Opening his eyes he saw a figure he thought he would never see again,
Happosai.
Tom: And, he was then summarily blinded.
Crow: Those panties hurt.
" Grandfather! What are you doing here? " John exclaimed. Happosai
just hit him over the head again as he opened his hand and revealed
some sort of jewel the bluest jewel he had ever seen.
Tom: How many jewels has Ranma seen, anyway?
Joel: I don't know. But I bet John has seen plenty.
Looking to his grandfather with questions, Happosai simply began to
explain as if he knew what he was thinking.
Crow: Does Happi ever think anything but "I'm horny?"
" John, this is the Orb of Kami.
Joel: I'm calling Senator McCarthy!
Tom: It's blue, not Red.
It holds power beyond your wildest imagination. You will need this in
your upcoming battle." With a grief filled face he said to him " I'm
sorry john, your life will be thrown into battle again. It is
necessary, the deciding fate of the universe will be determined by your
outcome. Should you loose the Universe will be thrown into darkness and
evil will reign over the good.
Tom: And what if I should tight?
This is all I can say, I have prepared you as well as I could, but I
say this as a warning, be prepared."
Crow: [Happosai] Things will happen. Certain things, of a particular
nature.
Joel: Happy's trying to turn John into a boy scout.
And with that he handed the Orb to John, and disappeared. At that
moment the teacher dismissed the class.
Walking back with the his sisters, wife and Ryouga, he thought about
what he was going to do.
Tom: Ryouga is John's son?
Joel: Not his son, his sister! It says so!
Crow: Ryouga is his sister?
Joel: And wife is his other sister.
Tom: Is that like Prince?
Joel: That's it! He's the martial artist FORMERLY KNOWN AS RANMA!
But Akane managed to shake him from his reveries. Arriving home they
began to plan for his son's birthday.
Tom: Yeah, all that saving the universe stuff could wait.
Another reality
Serena was shopping with a Rei and Mina for some toys for her own son,
Andrew. Today was a special day for him, for he was turning one. Serena
loved her son very dear because he looked just like his father,
Crow: His father was ten pounds with no hair and wore a diaper.
Joel: Mamoru had really gone downhill.
and because he brought her out of her depression. It had been years
since she had become a Senshi, and she hoped that it would remain that
way, for while being a Senshi was great, the dangers that came with it
was too great. Of course she knew that she was going to be Neo-Queen
Serenity, and eventually she would have to change again.
Tom: But for now, she was just gonna wear the same old stinky clothes.
Nevertheless it was nice to have a break from all that excitement.
She had changed so much in the past few years, she had grown taller,
more well developed, more mature, and neater. Darien was so supportive
of her during her metamorphosis, and had helped her through it. She
loved him so much that even death did not stand in their way of love.
Joel: Necrophilia!? Ugh!
However, as well as life was now, she felt something was wrong and
coming to greet them.
Tom: Hey, Wrong! Nice to meet you.
Crow: [Wrong] I'm Wrong. My brother and I invented the first airplane
crash.
Later on in the night
John lead his family to the ancient shrine where the Saotomes and
Tendos had buried their dead. There, John walked to the center of the
circular shaped graveyard. In the center was a fountain and an altar,
then placing his son, Shinma on the altar,
Tom: HUMAN SACRIFICE TIME!
Crow: Where's Miyu when you need her?
and placed the pendant around his son.
Joel: Welcome to randomly connected phrase theater!
" Before my ancestors I have come to present my son Shinma, a Saotome,
and worthy to wear the pendant, which was given to me by my esteemed
great-great grandmother, Cologne."
Crow: Hmm, so that's what that funny smell is.
Then he picked up his son and place him in the water, letting the
water protect his son for as long as he may live. The Saotomes were all
borne from water, and had always had water protect them.
Tom: "WATER! Why does it ALWAYS have to be water!?"
Joel: Nerima John and the Water of Doom.
This spring was the water that protected them, it was a family treasure
to them, for it was blessed by Kami himself.
Crow: "Oh, sir. You fall into spring of drowned Kami-sama. Very tragic
story!
Tom: "It move heaven and earth!"
All of a sudden, a wind chilled all around them, as a black mist
surrounded them, and a evil laughter followed. John quickly pulled
Shinma out of the water, as the rest of the clan formed a circle around
the fountain, all ready for anything. John gave Shinma to Akane and
told her to take care of him while he went to check things out. Without
argument, Akane took her child and held him closely to her bosom.
Crow: "Sweet," thought the child.
John walked out to the front of the fountain and hurled a challenge
into the air.
" Who are you, and why do you plague us at this sacred moment? Speak
or else I'm gonna hafta force you to leave."
Joel: I'm saying 'hafta' so you'll know it's really Ranma!
Evil chuckling continued as they were suddenly surrounded by dozens of
monsters of some kind.
Tom: It might have been nice of us to give you some descriptions of
them, but use your imagination!
The voice in the air then replied.
" Aaah, you are the one, a little scrawny if I must say so myself. But
nevertheless, my master requires that thou all are dead,
Tom: Y'all hear that? "Thou all?"
Joel: It's Kuno's cousin from Alabama!
Tom: You know your samurai is a redneck when...
so Morlocks attack!" With that the Black mist formed a black dragon
warrior of some kind.
Joel: This fic has a degree in vague! "Johnma was somewhere one day when
certain things happened to him, and they had some consequences which
he took actions to influence. The end."
The fight was on.
Crow: Let's get ready to RUMBLE!
Serena was happy that all her friends had decided to join them , and
they were all going back to Tokyo for the weekend.
Tom: Whoa, did we change scenes all of a sudden!
This would be a great vacation for all of them, and a chance for her
to see her parents and brother again. Looking out the window, she
suddenly felt an unbearable pain in her stomach, as she doubled over in
pain. Darien and the others were by her side immediately.
Crow: Making sure she didn't puke on their shoes.
Joel: She had just read this fic, you understand.
"What's wrong? " Darien asked worriedly. Serena just said through her
clenched teeth one phrase.
"It is time."
Tom: The contractions are two minutes apart!
Belgarion was having a hard time with his own country, when out of
nowhere thousands of creatures appeared. He was just thankful that Aunt
Pol,
Joel: Pol Pot?
his grandfather, Beldin, the twins (Beltira and Belkira), Durnick,
all the kings and emperors of the land and sea were here. The prophecy
had told him to gather everyone, for it was of the utmost importance.
Of course Zakath and Urgit as well as the rest of the kings did not
come unprepared. When there was the prophecy involved, there was always
trouble, so the final number of troops added up was probably close to a
full fledged army. The army was now fighting against the creatures. As
all of them were busy planning to fight themselves.
Tom: That way they're guaranteed to win!
Grandfather and Aunt Pol were discussing alternatives to fighting,
Crow: Thumbwrestling!
as Beldin soared through the sky gathering all the birds he could, for
some of the creatures were flying. Things did not look good at all.
That was when the blue white beam of light crashed down
Tom: The FAA was alerted.
into the enemy side of the battle.
John and the others were defeating these morlocks easily, but there
seemed to bee too many of them.
Joel: The morlocks, the merrier!
Everyone seemed to be fine except for
Ryouga who was in pain over a broken arm dealt by the dragon warrior.
John looked around and finally decided he had enough, to pull out the
big guns.
" Hi Ryu Shoten Ha!!!!!"
Crow: Hi, Ryu! Nice to see you again!
the Dragon cyclone rose and threw all the
morlocks aside, leaving those in the circle unharmed. However, as he
turned around he saw Akane in the hands of the dragon warrior, her body
limp, and Shinma just below her body. He snapped.
Tom: My back! My BACK!
Crow: A can of superglue was opened to repair the snapped Johnma.
Joel: Johnma fall in spring of drowned SNAPPING turtle!
"Let go of her!!!!!!" John shouted as he ran a the Dragon warior, who
stood and smiled arrogantly. Then he tossed Akane aside, and kicked
Shinma away.
Tom: He's...He's long enough...He's good! Three points!
What the dragon warrior did not notice was the fiery blue
aura surrounding John as he ran. When he turned to face John, he came
face to face with an angry John who launched chi attacks at him,
relentlessly.
" Kame hame Haaaaa!"
" Hi Ryu Shoten Haaaa Revised: Dragon claws!"
" Moku Takabisha!"
Tom: Rama Lama Dingdong!
Joel: Eep opp ork ah ah!
Crow: Another revised chi attack. Amazing. I am truly enthralled
by the originality of this work.
The chi attacks tore him to shreds as a column of blue and white
engulfed them all.
Serena and the others looked out the window, just in time to see a
blue-white flame engulf their portion of the plane, only absorbing
them.
Joel: Blue White Flames: The quicker picker upper.
Chpt3. The Battle
John and the others landed in the midst of a battle between thousands
of creatures, things did not look good at all.
Crow: Did this fic ever look good?
Lying on the ground, John felt a new surge of energy, a source which he
could not identify, but he was glad it was there. Standing up he
situated the situation,
Tom: How many situations could a situator situate if a situator
could situate situations?
they were horribly outnumbered, and the creatures were advancing fast.
There were some other people amongst them on the ground, each wearing
very short skirts, and sailor suits.
Crow: Hmm. I wonder how Tuxedo Mask looks in a skirt?
Then he turned his attention back to the situation, and thought of
what to do. Only a few minutes till the creatures were upon them.
Ryouga was up, and so were the rest of them.
Five minutes till confrontation
John silently nodded towards the ten girls and the guy, acknowledging
them, but still thinking. The others had already gotten into their
stances ready for anything. The children were herded around the middle,
as the adults prepared for war.
Tom: And for situating!
Four minutes
John then remembered his orb, then reached into his pocket drawing it
forth. It glowed bright blue in anticipation for excitement. Blue
flames engulfed him as he felt the flames dance around his body
exploring his mind, his body, and his chi.
Crow: Then he said "Cut that out! I'm married!"
Then the orb began to expand as he felt differently about his body.
Joel: [John] "Darn it! I knew I should have been born a woman!"
Tom: [John] "Hey! Jane! YOU get this thing!
Three minutes
Serena watched as the man wearing the red tunic pulled out a blue
jewel, which engulfed him in fire. Could it be that he was a person
from the Old Millenium?
Crow: As opposed to the "Wrinkled Millenium" and the "Yellow
Millenium."
Tom: They just don't make millenia like they used to.
Taking out her own crystal, she saw it glow brightly as it too englufed
her. A scepter came into her hand as she felt herself transform into
Serenity, not the Princess, the Queen. Growing in height, and clothes,
when she was done, she looked around and saw that her friends had
transformed as well, each anticipating the battle. The man was still in
blue flames.
Two minutes
Joel: Two minute warning!
Garion saw the beam and then sensed vast amounts of sorcery occuring.
So vast that all the talented ones in the room collapsed
Joel: Leaving the writer of this fic standing.
Tom: He has the talent to write truly terrible fics, though.
Crow: I wonder if that's a gift?
Joel: It's a curse. He fell into the Spring of Drowned terrible fic author.
Tom: "Is tragedy that no one ever destroy spring."
due to the roar in their ears. Whatever, whoever arrived out there was
extremely powerful. He could almost see the ones without the talent
wincing in the roar.
One minute
John felt energized,
Crow: He kept going, and going, and going...
Joel: The Energizer Usagi would make more sense.
he felt alive, he knew about his power. The orb explained everything,
and he was ready to fight.
Tom: The orb does all the thinking. Johnma's just there because he's
got muscles.
Contact
Crow: with this fic is hazardous to your health.
The first wave of creatures flew back with the combined attacks of the
Senshis. The ones who got close enough were thrown back in pieces as
Ryouga, Saotomes, and Tendos all ripped the creatures appart.
Joel: News flash! Baby Shinma kicks monster ass! Parents don't care!
Wave after wave, they came, but John and Serenity did not do anything,
instead they were transforming.
Tom: We can't do anything now! Our soap's on!
Garion and the others all went out into the battle field and watched
the people who were decimating the creatures by the hundreds. The
collective army on his side were cheering as the creatures were being
destroyed. However the joy did not last, a huge bat-like creature
loomed above
Joel: It's Batman!
Crow: "Get the Bat-Anti-Martial-Artist-Device, Robin!"
Tom: They didn't use the name Batman. He's probably called "Fred."
Crow: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, FREDMAN!
and then opened its wings releasing thousands more creatures, then it
flew away. Garion decided that he had sat this battle out long enough.
Landing on the ground he detransformed. His Aunt Pol was already
casting winds spells
Tom: She must be eating beans.
trying to drive the creatures back. Grandfather was throwing fireballs
at the creature. Beldin and the twins were doing their best at throwing
bolts of lightning at the creatures. Durnick was shaking the earth with
his hammer, and causing cracks in the ground. Garion then drew his
sword, and shouted,
"Charge!!!!"
Joel: I prefer cash.
The huge Sword of Riva burst into flames and into the song
of victory.
Crow: "The hiiiillls are alive...with the sound of victory."
At that moment the two coccooned people dispelled a huge
amount of force, knocking everyone onto the ground. Rising from the
ground was a man all dressed in a strange form of armor, holding a
staff, wearing a crown, and glowing with power. The woman was a
beuatiful blonde haired woman, all dressed in white, she wore a tiara,
had wings on her back and radiated with kindness.
Joel: Get me a lead apron!
Tom: She's gonna start killing people with kindness pretty soon.
The pair then joined their hands and chanted.
Tom: [Singing] Some in-chant-ing evening...
Garion could feel the power from the pair, it awed him, they were
radiating more power than the gods themselves. The creatures were now
up and rushing towards the pair. At tha last moment, before the first
demon touched the pair they shouted in one voice.
Crow: [John & Usagi] Get us the hell OUT of this story!
" Five Elemental Dragons Come Forth!" their palms outstretched dragons
shot from them. One from the air, one rose from the ground, one came
from the sea, one from the fires of the city, and one from the thunder.
Tom: So the fifth element is sound?
Crow: I know! He watched Captain Planet! Earth, wind, fire, water, and
heart!
The five dragons were bigger than the dragon that Garion had killed
before. In fact they were taller and larger.
Joel: Yep! That's what "bigger" means, all right!
The five dragons then commenced the death and destruction of the
creatures. Flames shot from their snouts. Controling the very elements
in their palms they anihilated the creatures, drowning them, blasting
them, frying them, crushing them, and ripping them apart. When the
demons were all gone, the dragons returned to their place, and the pair
who summoned them landed on the ground and walked towards them. Once in
front of them, they both collapsed and reveted to a different form,
both strangely dressed, but still they seemed to looked like humans.
Chpt4. Introductions
Akane was sitting in some womens room,
Tom: Akane, get out of the bathroom and help in the fight!
where most of the women, who fell out of the sky with her were. There
was much tension between them, and neither of them knew whether or not
they were friends or enemies. The one with the aqua colored hair seemed
to be the calmest of the others and was talking with Kasumi. Strange
people, falling out of the sky, these things were just too strange.
Joel: But were they strange? And did they happen to be strange?
Crow: How odd.
Tom: Dr. Strangelove!
Crow: "Sailor senshi vill be chossen vor their sexual prowess."
It just wasn't happening,
Joel: It wasn't happening?! You mean the narrator's been lying to us?
Crow: I think the job description would be more accurate as
"spewer."
things were going so great, John had finally married her, she gained a
woman
Tom: She must be really round to gain a whole woman.
that felt like a daughter to, she gained more sisters, brother, and
friends. It just wasn't fair, why did this have to had happened to
them? Once again they were thrown into another adventure. Why couldn't
the fates just leave them alone? Looking across from her, she decided
that it was time to make introductions. Standing up, she went over to
the long haired woman wearing a red fuku. With a bow she introduced
herself,
Crow: My name is...[Sound of bow and arrow striking someone] Aaaaaah!
" Hello, I'm Akane, do you want to be friends?" With an upraised
eyebrow, the woman stood to her full height and measured Akane up. The
tension built up in the room considerably, both groups were looking at
the pair in the center of the room, viewing what was going to happen
next. The woman then seemed to stare into the depths of Akane's mind,
probing, poking, testing, until, Akane had enough, and blocked her off
with a sudden slam of the mental barrier.
Joel: [Akane] Hey! I'm not that kind of girl! I don't probe on
the first date!
Crow: [Rei] Friends? But I wanted to be so much more!
The other woman looked shocked, but then cooly outstreached her hand
and replied,
" My name is Rei, Spiritual leader of the Senshi, pleased to meet
you."
Belgarion was not having a good day. First he had trouble with his
people of inviting Angaracks to the Rivan Hall.
Tom: Damn his people! Always inviting Angaraks over!
Crow: And they don't wipe their feet!
Joel: Rivan Hall, game show host Monty's smarter brother.
Then with th fact that each king brought armies, it had taken his
flaming sword to bring everyone to peace. Then there was the attack on
the Citadel with those horrible monsters. The arrival of the two
powerful sorcerers was not a big help. However one thing was certain,
whatever was to happen must be immense, for the power that these two
people generated alone could overwhelm all the gods combined, including
UL. The rest of their groups had also displayed much power as well.
What was most unconcerting
Tom: Is that when people sing a concert backwards?
was the way that these people threw their power around. The woman with
the short blue-black hair, had created a hammer in glowing blue flames,
and pounded another man in their group into the ground.
Crow: John ran around trying to swat the blue flames out of his hair.
The most incredulous thing was that the man survived, and acted as if
nothing happened. The group of women, who each wore much to little,
also each carried an inane source of power
Joel: They had the ability to summon clowns and make terribly bad fics.
that Belgarion could only compare to his Aunt Pol. One of the short
ones carried a power and sense not unkin to his grandmother, Poledra.
Overall, the group who arrived was absolutely overwhelming to him.
Suddenly he heard some stirring by the beds. Rushing over, Belgarion
saw that it was the man, groggily he forced himself up to a sitting
position, and then to a standing position. After a few minutes of the
clearing of his mind, the man saw Belgarion standing there with his
grandfather and Beldin. Staring at them, he walked over to them without
a sound on the floor, and with such grace. Coming face to face with
them, he spoke,
Crow: "YOU MUST END THIS FIC!"
" You all must be part of the great event that's supposed to happen."
After a few minutes of silence, Belgarath was the first to speak.
" Event? I assume that you are talking about the event, which the
Prophecy set for us." The man looked at his grandfather and then was
about to say something, but was interrupted by a gentle voice from the
other side of the room.
Tom: The voice said, "CAN'T YOU BE SPECIFIC ABOUT ANYTHING?!?"
" Excuse me, gentlemen, I believe that we must regroup somewhere before
we start revealing ourselves."
Crow: Woohoo! Serenity's gonna strip!
Tom: Yeah! Take it off, baby!
It was the blonde hair woman still wearing an absolutely white gown and
tiara, however without the wings. The rest of the men agreed, as
Belgarion sent a guard to the womens room and the weapons room to get
all the Kings, queens,
Joel: Jacks, tens...
emperors, sorcerors, sorceresses, warriors from both here and wherever
these people came from.
Tom: This fic is repulsive, yet strangely engrossing...
Crow: Not unlike getting a lifetime free ticket to a Russian
whorehouse.
Chpt5. The Mission
Sitting in the Hall of the Rivan king was the Group from Nermia, the
Senshi, Belgarath, Poledra, Polgara, Durnick, Beldin, the Twins,
Belgarion, John, Serena, Ce'Nedra, Silk, Velvet, the kings and Queens
of the western kingdoms and the Angaracks. All were waiting for an
explaination from john and Serena, who had both change back into their
strange suits.
Joel: Strange SUITS? No wonder they've got Kings and Queens!
Tom: Johnma's going to explain as soon as he's done situating.
Holding his staff, John looked every inch a god, as did
Serena with her angelic face, and scepter. Without a word, the two
motioned Belgarion to come to them as they told Belgarion to draw his
sword and hold it out to the middle of them. Garion did it immediately,
as the two both touched the sword. The sword burst into flames, and
engulfed Garion.
Crow: [Garion] Put it out! Put it out! AAAAH!
Tom: He's dead meat! Garion is CARRION!!
In the flames, Garion felt a change over him. When the
fire died down, he was wearing a similar outfit as the man John.
Understanding what was about to happen, Garion allowed the two of them
to touch their staff and scepter to the sword. As the three most
powerful objects in the universe came together, UL and Mother Universe
appeared. The Holy couple looked kindly upon them and smiled.
Author's notes
that's all I got done so far cause I'm still working on a second
part to Ranma's Destiny: Dragon, or as some people call it Ranma:
Destiny Dragon. If anyone has any C&C, please e-mail me, and I'll try
to write some more.
Joel: WRITE MORE?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Belphera
* * *
[Joel and the bots are on the satellite deck.]
Joel: You guys finish the assignment?
Servo: Affirmative, Skipper!
Crow: Yep-ers!
Joel: Let's explain to the viewers at home what we're doing. You see,
today's story showed us how much easier and quicker it is to
come up with a WAFF continuation and a crossover when you don't
bother worrying about pesky little details and specifics like
who did what when. We thought it would be a neat idea to try
this for other fanfiction genres. What did you come up with,
Crow?
Tom: Wait a minute, Joel.
Joel: What is it, Tom?
Tom: Why are we talking in script all of a sudden?
Joel: Uh, Cambot's sequencer must be on the blink again.
Tom: Sure, Joel. We know it's really because the stupid authors were
too lazy to coordinate their efforts.
Crow: ANYWAY, I've written a darkfic.
Joel: Wanna read some of it for us?
Crow: 'Kay. A-HEM! A Darkfic, by Crow T. Robot. All rights reserved, not
to be duplicated without the expressed written consent of...
Joel: Um, skip a bit there, would ya?
Crow: Oh yeah. A-HEM! One day, Ranma and Akane got married. Ukyo didn't
like the idea. She grew completely insane and bitter. She invited
Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, and Kodachi over to her restaurant, where
she served a special rat poison oknomiyaki.
Joel: Is that it?
Crow: No, there's more.
Joel: Okay, keep going.
Crow: They died. The end. Copyright Crow T. Robot, all rights reserved,
not to be...
Joel (interrupting): Good job there, buddy. Tom, what have you got?
Servo: Glad you asked, Joel-san. I've written an exciting tale in the
"New character" genre. The Adventures of Taneuma Servo-san!
Crow: I might've known you'd do a self-insertion.
Servo: It is not! Just a coincidence. One day, the mighty Taneuma Servo
showed up at the Tendo Dojo. He was forced to beat up all of the
regulars due to some misunderstanding. It was soon cleared up, and he
went on to seduce Nabiki.
Joel: Thanks, Tom.
Crow: Hey, Servo. Could you get me a printout of that story?
Servo: Sure!
Crow: Good! I need something to wipe the load pan bay with.
Servo (angry): Are you making fun of the great Taneuma Servo?!
Crow: The great Taneuma Servo can bite me!
Joel: Settle down, you knuckle-knobs. Well, sirs, what do you...
Servo: Hey Joel, aren't you forgetting someone?
Joel: Huh?
Crow: Yours, Joel! Is this it? [Picks up a pile of papers in front of
Joel]
Joel: (A little embarrassed.) Um, it's nothing, really. Just a little
lemon I played around with. Not worth mentioning, really.
Crow: Joel! There's *all kinds* of specific detail in this! Pages and
pages worth!
Servo: Let me see! (reads) Wow, Joel! I really like the descriptions of
Shampoo and Kodachi!
Joel: Guys....
Crow: Yeah! And I never knew you could do THAT with Jusenkyo water!
Joel: Look, guys. When you've been trapped up in space for as long as I
have, you...
Crow: Yeah?
Servo: You what? WHAT?!
Joel: Never mind. When you're older, you'll understand. What do you
think, sirs?
[Cut to Deep Thirteen]
Forrester: Very nice, Joelmeister. Push the button, Frank.
Frank: Personally, I like original flavor comedy. [starts to read from a
piece of paper, in a jovial tone] Akane cooked some food and offered
it to Ranma. He insulted her and decided to go eat at the Nekohanten
instead. So Akane pulled out her mallet and knocked him on the head!
Then...
[Forrester pulls out a mallet and baps Frank on the head; Frank falls
unconscious]
Forrester: Frank no baka. Until next time, Joel-senkyo....