A Totally Non-sensical Tripe production
Of a Ryoucilo film
Akane Chases Ryouga Around the World Trying to Kill Him
Ryouga was kicking and bweeing. He would have been kicking and screaming,
but right now he was a pig.
Akane had picked him out of the rain and noticed how dirty her cute little
piggy was so she decided to give
him a nice hot bath. They were in the bathroom and Akane was naked as well
because she wanted to take a bath
too.
Ryouga was praying to god that he would send down a horde of locusts or turn
the water into blood. But god was screening his calls and knew this would be
a valuable (and amusing) lesson for one Ryouga Hibiki. Akane shoved the
pig into the hot water. Instant naked Ryouga popped up. Unfortuantely Akane
really had not been watching where she had been holding the pig before. When
Akane realized what she had been holding onto and she let go very quickly.
Akane stared at Ryouga dumbfounded.
Ryouga stared at Akane with a look of unmistakable fear on his face. It was
sort of like when a deer is caught in the headlights of a car except the
deer has a better chance of surviving. Akane continued to stare at Ryouga.
Ryouga was more than a little shocked that she hadn't tried to kill him yet.
Ryouga waved his hand in front of her face. She seemed to be in shock. Saved
by trauma! Ryouga jumped out of the bath and ran out of the bathroom.
Unfortunately Ryouga didn't have the presence of mind to put on any
clothing. So he was running down the halls of the Tendo Dojo with only his
birthday suit on.
---
Akane continued to stare off into space when her brain began to work again.
Ryouga is... a very good friend of hers.
P-Chan is... her pet piggy whom she shared her deepest thoughts with. Ryouga
is P...Punctual? Hardly. P-Chan is
R...Rabid? No, if he was Ranma would be dead by now from all the bites he
had given him. Ryouga is P-Chan! What?! P-Chan is Ryouga! What?! Her brain
really hated explaing the details so it summed up the situation. Ryouga is a
perverted pig! That made sense.Akane's brain sighed and went back into
neutral knowing that it would be out for a while. Now Akane was mad. Akane
ran out of the bathroom and was on the chase. Also like Ryouga she lacked
the presence of mind to put on any clothing. So she was running down the
halls of the Tendo Dojo with only her birthday suit on.
---
Soun and Genma were enjoying a game of shoji when a rather wet and naked
Ryouga ran by them. Soun and Genma watched as Ryouga streaked past them.
Both men shruged their shoulders and went back to their game. Suddenly Akane
ran up in front of them. She was naked too.
"Did you see Ryouga run by here dad?"
Soun and Genma pointed in the direction of where the lost boy had run off
to. Akane thanked them and ran in the direction. Soun and Genma sat for a
while and then realized what they had just seen. Kasumi later on found both
men unconscious in a puddle of blood.
---
Ryouga was running down the street and began to notice the stares he was
receiving from. He thought it was very odd so he stopped running and asked a
woman why everyone was staring at him. The woman looked him over and
smiled,"It's because your naked."
"What?! I'm naked?!"
"If you put on some clothes people will stop staring...."the woman paused
and looked Ryouga over again and grinned,"...not that there's any hurry."
Then there was a loud scream,"RYOUGA!!!"
Ryouga looked up the street and shoved his fingers up his nose to stop the
nosebleed. Akane was up the street and she was naked as well. Akane pulled
out a mallet from hammerspace and was running down the street towards
Ryouga.
The woman looked at Akane and said to Ryouga,"Looks like your girlfriend.
Hope you can patch things up."
Ryouga ran away from the mallet wielding Akane. Ryouga repeated a
mantra in his desperate run from the irate Akane .
"I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!"
---
Akane chased after Ryouga with her mallet held high in the air . Akane
stopped for a second and thought about the weapon she had chosen. It seemed
to be okay for hitting people, but not for killing them. She pondered this
until she saw the perfect weapon in the window display of a hardware store.
---
Ryouga was hiding in an alley and was hoping that Akane had given up her
death warrent on him. That was when he heard the loud grinding sound. Ryouga
looked up the alley and saw Akane (Who was still naked) holding a lawnmower
above her head. Ryouga ran away before Akane could bring the agrarian
machine of death upon his head.
As Akane chased Ryouga a couple saw the pair.
The man said,"Uh, did you just see a naked guy being chased by a naked girl
who was holding a lawnmower?"
The woman looked at the man,"No."
"Neither did I."
---
And so Akane chased Ryouga throughout all the world. They went through five
continents, sixty countries and had run over five hundred thousand miles.
(Probably because Ryouga was always going in circles.) One day Akane put
down the latest lawnmower (She had gone through six and she realized the
lawnmower served for practical purposes when in the rain forest [Akane is
not an environmentalist]). Akane sat down on the ground and yelled,"Hey
Ryouga stop!"
Ryouga,if he was a rational person would not have listened to a person who
had been trying to kill him for the last three years. But being a person
totally lacking rationality he stopped.
Ryouga turned around and looked at Akane,"Yes?"
"Why am I chasing you?"
Ryouga mulled it over and shruged.
"Oh great you don't remember either."
There was a long silence.
"Hey Ryouga?"
"Yes?"
"Why have we never bothered to get clothes?"
Ryouga looked at Akane and noticed that she was naked and had a nosebleed.
"I don't get it. Why did I chase you all this way for nothing?"
"Maybe it's some kinky game."
"Huh?"
"Well you know..."
"Ryouga who in the world would find chasing a naked person with a lawnmower
around the world exciting?"
"I dunno. Us maybe."
"Okay. So if we like it so much how come we've never had sex?"
"Hmm... Good point. Hey how about we have sex and see if it's exciting
afterwards?"
Akane thought about it for a second.
"Okay, why not?"
---
Ryouga was running down the street naked being chased by Akane who was also
naked. Akane was waving a lawnmower in a very threatening manner. What made
the scene different was that both of them had very big grins plastered on
their faces.
THE END
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.