Looks good... a few suggestions:
 
 It's rather odd for the narrator to refer to Ranma's female form as
 Ranko. Ranko was just an alias he used to fool Nodoka. I'd change it to
 onna-Ranma, Ranma-chan, or just Ranma.

A difference in the continuity of my stories. The name was 
introduced earlier and it has a greater significance which will
be explored later. Nothing that you need to know now to 
enjoy this story though.  
  

 You used it's a whole bunch of times when you meant its. Remember, the
 form with the apostrophe only gets used when it's the contraction of it
 is.

It's a simple point, you would think I'd get it by now. <G> I know 
I have to work on it. Should improve in the next part. 

  

 Also...
 
 >	Running towards Ranko, Ukyou was motioning with her
 >arms out, trying to tell her to stay away from the tree. Just as
 >Ukyou had feared, a lightning bolt hit the ground between them,
 >not two feet away from chef. She was thrown back and hit the
 >ground hard.
 
 This is a rather mundane and quick description for such an impressive
 event. You might want to slow down here and let us savor the experience.
 (Um, you know what I'm trying to say, right?)

More detail, richer description, got it. 
  

 BTW, there should be a "the" before chef.

Noted and corrected. 
  

 Gary Kleppe

    Thanks for the comments Gary, glad you enjoyed the 
story.
                                                                     Carlin