| Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic] [Sailor Moon] |
| From: Gary C Rayner |
| Date: 2/6/1998, 2:33 AM |
| To: fanfic@fanfic.com |
Enjoy!
Disclaimer:
Firstly, THANKS TO: Solar Angel, for creating the Truth Symbol and helping me build Ezelek up. This story is dedicated to you..
The Characters in this story are purely fictional
and this is not from the real show. It is merely a fanfiction story from
my own imagination. There is no set timeslot for when this story
is set but it is before Sailor Moon S and after the Alan and Ann series.
I would like to thank Watts Isnaim for inspiriting me through his fanfic
�The Revenge of the Dark Star Crystal�. The Sailor scouts Moon, Venus,
Jupiter etc. etc. are copyright of Naoko Takeuchi. The Sailor Virtues are
my creation and are copyrighted. Anyone who wants to use them must get
my express permission first. Anyone can distribute this work, but if you
do please keep my NAME and this disclaimer attached.
Any comments, criticism, flames, etc. are welcome
at sailor_truth@hotmail.com
.
THE SAILOR VIRTUES
Part 1
A Sailor Moon Fanfic By Trent Rayner
CHAPTER 1 ( The Beginning )
�LUNA!� cried Serena, �Why cant I goto the arcade?�
�Because Serena, you have important Scout
work, not to mention your homework, you cannot go to the arcade, just to
show off in front of Sammy. You will have to wait to after the meeting�.
(At this a large drop appeared on the back of Serena�s head ).
�What meeting?� asked Serena to be interrupted
by Sammy.
�You weirdo Serena, is this the only way you
can get a conversation that is at the same level of your intellect�.. Well
are you coming to the arcade or not?� Serena looked at Sammy then to Luna
then back to Sammy again.
�No I�m not coming� Serena�s bland reply was,
�Now get out of my ROOM!!!� Sammy ran out muttering �Weirdo� under his
breath. Serena looked straight into Luna�s eyes and said �There are you
happy?!?� �Now what was this about a meeting?�. Luna then unsuccessfully
tried to explain to Serena that the Scouts were meeting after school at
Raye�s temple. After half an hour of Serena trying to grasp the concept
Luna walked out saying that Serenity must have adopted Serena. Serena then
looked at her clock, to the picture of Darien, and back to the clock again.
She then suddenly realized that she was going to be late for school and
ran out of the house.
CHAPTER 2 ( The New Student )
�We have a new student� said Miss Haruna �His
name is Ezelek Raine and he will be in Grade 9. I hope you will all help
him feel welcome here� Serena looked at him and noticed he looked like
a younger version of Darien. The thought of Darien started to bring tears
to her eyes when she heard her named mentioned. Miss Haruna stood over
her and said "Serena I have picked you to show Ezelek around the school
and introduce him to people�
�Umm�. O.K.� Serena replied and said to Ezelek
�Follow me�.
�This is the cafeteria and the toilets are just
down that hall, if you met me at 4:00 after school I can introduce you
to some people, any questions? said Serena looking into Ezelek�s eyes.
�The princess is near� was all Ezelek muttered
and then his eyes flickered, like he was coming back to consciousness.
�Thank you for showing me around Serena� said Ezelek �I hope we can be
friends� Serena smiled at the concept of a new friend and said
�Sure, so I�ll see you after school at 4:00?�
�Definitely� he replied with a smile.
CHAPTER 3 ( The Meeting)
�Oh, when that Serena get her I�m gonna pound
her!� shouted Raye.
�Hey Raye, what�s up with you?� Mina asked.
�Serena�s taken by brand new comic collection!�
shouted Raye and started pounding her fist against the palm of her hand.
� Hey guys, guess what, we�ve got a new kid at
school named Ezelek, and he looks like Darien!�
�Yeah?� said Mina. �There�s a new girl out our
school, Crystal I think her name was, and if she would be a mirror image
of Serena, if she had her hair in meatballs."
�What a coincidence� said Lita. � There�s a new
guy in my class called Robert and he is such a hunk! I think I spent all
day just looking at him!� Luna then walks into the temple and said
�This conversation will have to wait to after
girls, we have to start the meeting without Serena�. As if it was her cue,
a puffed (but still cute!) Serena appears and said
�Did I hear my name mentioned?�. At which at
that point Raye launched herself at Serena pinning her down.
�Where are my comic books SERENA! And if you
don�t answer in the next 5 seconds, your meatloaf!�
�I,I,I� stammered Serena.
�Spit it out Serena!� shouted Raye, pulling back
her hand to slap her.
�Hey Raye, your comic books were really good,
thanks for lending them to me� came a voice from behind Raye. Raye looked
up to see Chad with her comics in his hands. Chad looked at Raye then to
Serena then back to Raye again and said �Uhh, is there some initiation
I don�t know about?� Raye turned a bright red and let Serena go. At this
point Serena thought she might get something out of bawling.
�Waaaaa, that HURT!� said Serena �Why don�t you
pick on someone else you big bully!�
Chad seeing that there was about to be an explosion
of emotions, dropped the comics and left.
�I thought you had taken the comic books like
you always do without my permission!� shouted Raye, who was in no mood
for Serena�s whining.
�Oh, Serena get up� said Luna �Pathetic. Now
I have some important news�.
�What is it Luna?� asked Amy who was staring
at a picture of Greg on her computer screen.
�Amy turn that off and listen to me, you can
look at Greg later� said Luna while Amy blushed furiously �The new attacks
have been taken a pattern, we have to go to the park right now�.
�The park?� asked everyone.
�Yes� said Luna, �The park. Now transform!�
�Moon Crystal Power!�
�Mars Star Power!�
�Mercury Star Power!�
�Jupiter Star Power!�
�Venus Star Power!�
�Scout Power!�
The girls transformed as usual and started out
for the park.
CHAPTER 4 (The First Battle)
�Sailor Moon, keep your scepter ready� said Sailor
Mars. A strange energy force surrounded the park and Raye could feel evil
emanating from it.
�O.K.� said Luna �Lita, Mina, you girls come
around the side, the rest of you go in for a full frontal assault.�
�But I don�t wanna!� cried Serena �I�m to hungry
to fight! Waaaaaahh!�
�Serena cut it out!� said Luna �As soon as you
trash this Nega-Trash we can go get some burgers O.K?�
�Ohno!� said Serena �I totally forgot I told
Ezelek I�d meet him at 4:00! It�s already 15 past!�
�Serena there are more things at hand then boys.�
sighed Luna. The park loomed closer and a shadow leaped out at them. It
was a lady, with long flowing red hair, perfect features, wearing a Nega-verse
uniform, (Like Jedite�s) with gold piping, and a emblem emblazed on the
collar. It was a child, with dark energy flowing out of him to form
another child.
"Why hello Sailor Scouts," she said "My name
is Elstra, and I�m gonna kick your ass!"
�Mars Celestial Fire�.. Surround!�. A blast of
fire erupted from Mars�s hand which Elstra easily dodged. Sailor Venus
and Sailor Jupiter entered behind it and called their attacks.
�Jupiter Thunder Clap�. ZAP!�
�Venus Love Chain�.. ENCIRCLE!�
The two attacks joined together but Elstra calmly
turned around and waved her hand. The chain suddenly turned around capturing
the two scouts rendering them helpless. Jupiter�s ball of electricity turned
around and started to head back to it�s wielder.
�Stop!� Came a shout from the shadows, he flung
a rose at the ball of energy, dissipating it.
The mysterious stranger pulled a slightly curved
blue sword out of the scabbard strapped to his back, and jumped straight
at the scouts the blade flashing in his hands. Venus braced herself for
the cut, but found that she was now free of the chain. Everyone stared
at this new stranger wondering who he was. He wore a mask like Tuxedo Mask�s
but that was where the similarity ended. He was dressed in a scout uniform
except that we was wearing white trousers instead of a dress, and instead
of a bow, the symbol of Truth was imprinted.(The symbol for Terra with
a Crescent Moon in it). He turned around and shouted to Serena �Finish
this witch Sailor Moon, you have the power of Truth on your side�. He then
spun on his heel and vanished.
�Sailor Moon, are you gonna finish this Nega-crud
of or not?� asked a very impatient Mars, �I�m supposed to be helping cook
dinner.�
�Right!� said Serena, fishing the wand out of
that magical place where she keeps the important things. She get into her
usual pose and starts swinging the scepter around.
�Do you have to do that?� asked Mars, �It�s a
waste of time.�
�Well if you going to be like that,� said Serena
starting to put the scepter away.
�Nonono,� said Mars �It�s okay take all the time
you want.�
�Thanks,� replied Serena. �Moon Scepter Elimin�.
Huh? Where did she go?�
�I�ll return later Sailor Moon, but for now I�ll
give you silly scouts a rest.� Came Elstra�s voice from the shadows.
�Hey you come back here Nega-creep, I�m not finished
with you yet� shouted Serena, but there was no reply.
The girls powered down and Mina said
�Luna? Who was that guy who saved us? Was he
a Scout?�
CHAPTER 5 (The Past)
�Well Luna, is he a scout?� asked the girls.
�Well� said Luna �It all happened a lo��
�Wait don�t tell me, it was a long time ago�
interrupted Serena
�Yes Serena, as I was saying, when the Moon Kingdom
was first being built, the people believed in the 3 Virtues, Truth, Love,
and Courage. When your mother was ruler, the Virtues held a tremendous
amount of power. Queen Serenity was afraid that an evil force may gain
control of the powers, and manipulate them for evil. So she entrusted them
into three people she believed could keep the powers in check. The
first was Prince Darien�s younger brother Ezelek, who became Sailor Truth.
The next was a young knight who was in the Queen�s army known as Robert.
He became Sailor Courage. The last of the three was the most dearest to
the Queen, it was the Princess�s twin sister, Crystal. She became Sailor
Love.�
�What???? I had a sister on the moon?� asked
Serena with her eyes popping out of her head. �Are you sure, Luna?�
�Yes I�m sure Serena� said Luna a large drop
appearing on her head. �I always remember the important things�.. Well
most of the time�.
�What happened next Luna?� asked Amy anxious
to know all the facts.
�Well, after they had been entrusted with the
powers, Queen Beryl attacked. They eliminated a large chunk of the army,
but the Nega-Force had a counter attack ready for them. When they attacked,
Queen somehow cut of the connection between the scouts and the Virtues,
rendering them helpless. I knew that they had been reborn on Earth, but
I thought that they would have been permanently severed from the power.
But the young Prince just prove me wrong�.
�Luna, if I could track them down, to you think
you can persuade them to join us?� asked Amy.
�Well, I think so�. It really depends how much
of their memories are left�. �If they can remember the past, Serena could
easily get Crystal and Robert on our side,(Since Serena is slightly older
and because she is Robert�s Queen or Princess�..), but Darien is the only
one that could bring Ezelek over. Only he and Crystal knew him very well�.
�Luna, was Princess Crystal anything like Serena?�
asked Mina a thought springing to her head.
�Yes they were, the only differences between
them was that Crystal had her hair down most of the time, and she didn�t
drool over Darien, but when Ezelek was there�.� Luna trailed off.
�Luna! I think I know who she is! There�s a new
girl at school who�s Serena�s almost mirror image! That could be her!�
said Mina.
�And the hunk in my class, he looks like a warrior,
maybe he�s the knight�.� Said Lita, grinning at the thought of Robert.
�That just leaves one person�. Did Ezelek look
like Darien, Luna?� asked Amy, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
�Well yes he did�. Wait a minute that new boy
at your school! Could he be Sailor Truth?� Luna said.
�Well� said Serena coming out of hyperspace,
�There�s only one way to find out! Follow me!� Serena ran off and the over
girls followed. Elstra stepped out of the shadows and whispered �I shall
finally have them!� and disappeared.
CHAPTER 6 ( Questions and Answers )
Serena arrived at the rendezvous spot, the other
girls not far behind. She looked around and spotted Ezelek sitting on a
near by seat. �Sorry I�m late. I had some chores to do.� Serena said, placing
herself next to Ezelek. �That�s O.K� Ezelek replied, �I was catching up
on a little lost sleep�.
�Ezelek?� Serena said,
�Yeah?� replied Ezelek
�Have you heard of the Sailors Scouts?� asked
Serena
�Yeah I have� replied Ezelek �They have a wicked
cool leader, She looks just like you� Serena said �Really??? Hahahaha,
me look like Sailor Moon?�
�Hmmm� mumbled Ezelek �You like keeping your
secret identity?�
�WHAT!?!� shouted Serena, desperate to make him
think he was mistaken
�Oh don�t try and hide from the Truth Serena�
said Ezelek �You have the same locket as Sailor Moon. Coincidence? I think
not� Serena spurted back
�Didn�t you know? You can buy these lockets from
Bandai!�
�Well, if it isn�t real, you wouldn�t mind saying
"Moon Crystal Power!" would you?"
�Ummm, O.K.� said Serena �You know my secret
identity, but I also know yours!�
�Really?� said Ezelek �And who would I
be? Sailor Jupiter??�
"NO!" Said Serena, "Your Sailor Truth!�
�Sailor Truth??? Who the heck is Sailor Truth??�
�Well, umm, that is, ahhh, oops! Luna! Come out
here and help me!�
Luna walked out from the bushes and said �Hello,
Prince Ezelek,�
�AHHH! A talking cat! I must still be asleep!�
�No Ezelek your not asleep.� Said Luna, �I�ll
prove it!�
A crescent beam shot out of Luna�s Crescent moon,
but instead of hitting Ezelek�s head, it hit his chest. Suddenly a medallion
appeared, which was as black as night. It flashed and then exploded leaving
it a silver colour. The force of the explosion had knocked Ezelek out and
Serena was slightly injured.
�Hey Luna! Why did you do that???� asked Serena,
tears welling up from the pain.
� I didn�t mean to do it!� Luna said approaching
Ezelek�s slumped body.
The medallion flared again, and a visitation
appeared.
�Thank You Luna! You have freed me!� said the
visitation.
He was a bright blue colour, and you could see
right through him. On his head was a crown of gold with the Truth insignia
embossed into it.
�King Astanika!� Luna cried.
Serena knelt down next to Luna and whispered
�Who the hell is he?�
Luna whispered back,
�Watch your language, and "He" is your grandfather,
and the spirit of the virtue Truth�
�Oh� Serena said, �I knew that�
Luna turned back to the spirit of the long dead
king, and said
�Majesty, may I present your granddaughter, Princess
Serena�
�Ahh yes, the spitting image of her mother.�
The king said,
�Luna, why are we on Earth? Why are we not on
the moon? The last thing I can remember is a shield being pushed between
myself and the prince, rendering me helpless.�
Luna then told the king of the battle, and his
daughter fate, "No.." whispered the king wide eyed �My beloved Serenity
cannot be dead, I would of sensed it...�
The dead king started to waver and his essence
started to flow into the medallion, �I must go, I have given Ezelek his
memory back.� And with that the king dissipated completely.
A groan came from Ezelek as he woke up,
�Wow, nice shot Luna� said Ezelek �That really
hurt!�
�Well at least you got your memory back, now
according to Astanika there was a shield between you and the virtue, then
how did you transform?� Luna asked.
�Well when the shield was put up I discovered
a chink in it before I died, my transformation was involuntary, the power
sorta washed over me in a wave of pain, then that�s all I can remember.�
Suddenly, Elstra appeared and said
�Why thank you for leading me straight to him!
After this I shall be all powerful�
�You wanna bet?� Serena questioned, �You�ve picked
the wrong enemy, Moon Crystal Power!�
Serena raised her elegant hand and power
from the crystal washed over her.
�You gonna be hurtin!� Ezelek said �Truth Medallion
Power!�
He held the medallion up and it glowed and became
quicksilver. It flowed down his arm and onto his body. His head tilted
up and the quicksilver flowed off his face, revealing his mask. All the
quicksilver flowed to his chest creating the emblazed symbol of Truth,
leaving Sailor Truth in a pose with his wrists crossed over in front of
his face, just revealing his mask.
�Muhahaha,� laughed Elstra, �Now I can bring
forth the Etonark, come forth shadow side of Truth, come forth father of
Lies, COME FORTH ETONARK!�
A singular white beam short forth and engulfed
Ezelek. Slowly his image split into 2 revealing another Sailor Truth, but
inverted.
�No!� cried Luna, �Sailor Moon, use your crystal!�
�Ok!� Serena replied �Moon Crystal Healing.....
ACTIVATION!� Slowly the two images joined back together leaving Sailor
Truth�s slumped form on the ground.
�Well well well, it seems that the little scout knows how to handle that crystal, I�ll need a better plan... MUHAHAHAHH!�
Later, back at the temple all of the scouts had
assembled including Truth.
�Luna� Ezelek asked, �What did she do to me???�
CHAPTER 7 (Explanations)
Luna shuddered, dreading the moment to tell the
scouts what the Etonark were, part of themselves. �Everybody has
a Etonark, it is part of them. You see everything is balanced, good and
bad, right and wrong, Ying and Yang. the Etonark is the other side of you,
the side you don�t want to believe is there, but is. Mostly the Etonark
are trapped deep inside of people, but they can be release be a high force
beam of kinetic energy. My point is that this new General is much much
more than a average general, I believe she is the Nega-Moon�s replacement
for the 4 sisters. Did you see that emblem on her collar? It was a child�s
Etonark being released. I believe that is her mission, to release Etonarks.
If she ever brings the Etonark of the scouts out, then we are in big trouble.�
�Also� Ezelek added �If my Etonark is taken out
of me, it will be much much more powerful. Since I draw upon the power
of Truth from the Moon Kingdom, I have to draw it through time itself,
whereas my counterpart the Sailor of Lies, would be able to directly access
it from Earth. But thanks to you Serena, we can stop him if he tries to
get free.� Ezelek lent over and hugged Serena.
�Oh, well, um, that�s okay,� Said Serena blushing.
�So Luna, should we look for the other Virtues? Or wait to they appear?�
�We must find them,� Ezelek piped in, �If we
wait for them to appear, it may be to late. But first I wanna test out
our powers combined.�
�Oh yeah! Said Mina, �That would be wicked cool!�
�Where can we goto test them though?� asked Serena,
�I know where!� Ezelek said, �Okay everyone get
into the Sailor Teleport.� The girls stood in a circle hands linked, with
Ezelek in the center. �Okay, everyone clear your minds.� As the girls cleared
there heads of thoughts, their symbol appeared on there forehead. �Now
lead me your powers!� Each symbol shot out a beam, connecting to the Truth
symbol standing out on Ezelek�s head. "Arrgh, Luna! Artemis! We need more
power!� Luna shot out her symbol melding with Artemis�s before they hit
Ezelek�s. �Bang!� Air rushed into the place that the scouts and the cats
had been standing.
CHAPTER 8 (New Powers)
The scouts looked around to find themselves in
a void, darkness everywhere.
�Ummm, just a second. Mars can you shoot a fireball
straight up?� Ezelek said,
�Sure! Mars Fire..... IGNITE!� A fireball formed
on he tips of Mars�s fingers growing until it was melting the gloves, then
it shot up into the air igniting a dark black ball. The room lit up revealing
a training hall filled with statues. �An training hall?� Mars asked,
�Well we needed to practice on something so I
created a spot in between reality.� Ezelek replied �Well, who�s first?�
�Me!� Shouted Mina,
Truth and Venus stood back to back, light shining
down on them. They kissed their fingers and aimed there hands up,
�Truth Light Stream....�
�Venus Light Wall......�
�Demolish!� shouted Mina and Ezelek at once,
pointing their fingers at one of the statues.
The ground around one of the statues light up,
and the feet begun to slowly disperse, then a wall of light shot out at
the statue, and engulfed of the top half of it. The pool of light continued
to eat at the bottom half, until the statue was no more.
�Cool! Me next!� said Lita.
Truth and Jupiter clapped there hands together,
and sparks began to fly between their hands,
�Truth Shock.....�
�Jupiter Estatic....�
�Electrify!� They shouted together.
Lightning formed into a spear piercing through
a statue, which in turn, turned to crumbled.
�Me now!� Said Ami, anxious to test out her new
powers.
�Ok, but we can�t use a puny statue,� Ezelek
said, waving his hand to form a massive rock.
Truth and Mercury kneeled down, their palms flat
on the earth, slowly they brought their hands up, palms facing the rock.
�Truth Element Bubble....�
�Mercury Water Spout.....�
�Drown!� They said as one.
The bubble hit the top of the rock, corroding
it, and the water spout came out from under it, splitting it in two.
�Wow!� Said Ami, �My powers were never that destructive
before!�
�Me! Me!� Squealed Raye.
Mars clenched her fists, feeling them catch on
fire, Truth flung his hand across, as if waving something away, and a moving
wall of fire appeared.
�Truth Flame Wave.....�
�Mars Flame Hands.....�
(Together) �Smash!�
The fiery hands and the wall of flame, flew across
the hall, destroying everything in their path.
�Oh! I wonder what mine will do!� Serena said.
�Ah yes, Serena,� Ezelek said �Since you normally
need a focus for your attack,(because of there destructive powers) use
this Truth stave.� He said handing Serena a stave with the Truth Symbol
and a Crescent Moon carved on it, and a slot for 2 crystals..
Truth put his hand onto the Truth Symbol, focusing
on it. Moon pulled out the Silver Imperium Crystal, and placed it into
the top slot.
�Truth Megapower.....�
�Moon, Truth, Stave.....�
�Mutilate!� They shouted.
light flowed from Ezelek�s hand into the Truth
Symbol, making it glow blue, where as light flowed from Serena hands, into
the crystal, making her symbol glow gold. All the statues slowly started
to quiver, and then suddenly exploded into moon dust. �Dusted!� Serena
shouted. �Haha Raye, my new powers better than yours!�
�At least I�m not so uncoordinated that I need
a focus!� Raye spat back.
�Ohhh, your such a pain! Thhhbbbbbb!� Serena
said sticking out her tongue.
�Ohno, please not the tongue thing!!!!� Cried
Ezelek,
�Thbbbbb!!!� Raye poked her tongue out at Serena.
�Maybe we should just leave them here.� Suggested
Mina,
�Well we could do that,� Ezelek said, �But Serena
would probably create a ice-cream stand and we couldn�t get her to leave.�
�Did someone say ice-cream?????� Serena spurted
in.
�I think it�s time we go� Ezelek said. The girls
joined hands and made a circle with Luna and Artemis in the center.
�Scout Teleport!� In a flash of light the girls
and the cats disappeared. Ezelek held his hand and shouted
�Virtue Teleport!�.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Intermission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the place of no reality, something happened. �Here I�m standing in the night....� floated through the air, �My crescent wand the only light....� We follow a lone specter to a hole in time, where people watch other worlds for entertainment, slugs are eaten fried and baked, and wild popcorn roams across the country. Once in a while a slug escapes capture only to die in the evil wilderness which is inhabited by giant gingerbread men. At this point in time Serena is fighting Queen Beryl (or wossname, as she is known in the world) and people are quite enjoying it. Queen Wossname is having a hard time as half eaten slugs are thrown at the hole only to slam into her face. Suddenly, an evil Dic producer flings himself through the hole into the cartoon. He is quickly surrounded by Youmas, ready to tear him limb by limb. Inventively he changes there names to Nega-Monsters, and erases certain parts of their bodies. His intrusion in the cartoon has distracted Serena, causing her concentration to falter. Queen Wossname takes the advantage and blasts the princess with rancid tomatoes. Tomatoes staining her dress, Serena falls to her knees, ready to goto the Nega-verse. Suddenly, an eraser flashes through the air and takes off Wossname�s hand. Looking around she discovers Eraser Man, One of the strange lifeforms she created with her playdo. �Go away playdo boy.� She said as she drew her hand back into existence with a pencil from her cleavage. Another eraser is flung, this time erasing the end of the pencil Wossname is holding, causing her to drop it. Serena flings herself at Wossname, catches the pencil, and enlarges her cleavage. A eraser flies through the air (again) and erases Wossnames head. Everyone thinks it is quite funny (except for Wossname) and laughs.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!End of Intermission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well in my part 2 of the Sailor Virtues, we might see some Cameos, Sailor Love and Courage should appear somewhere, and the possible release of the Etonarks of the scouts. If you didn�t like this story you probably aren�t reading this, but if you did like it, please e-mail me and tell me, �cause if no-one likes it, what�s the point of writing it, and that will give me more time to spend on my other Fanfic, The Crystal of the Scouts.
Ezelek Raine (Sailor Truth) E-mail: sailor_truth@hotmail.com
Douse yourself in water and repent! - Sailor
Mercury (I Luv this line!)