On 1/24/98 7:52 PM, Brendan at brenda02@m4.sprynet.com wrote:

On Sat, 24 Jan 1998, Chris Jones <hamster@arn.net> wrote:

Second, I *tried* to show that the potion was not a *love potion* per
se, but only a catalyst for what ever was already there. I described
it as only 'lowering their inhibitions' and at one point, I used the
line: 

'If they truly loved and desired one another, their bodies would do 
the rest of the work'

Does it really come across as that distasteful?

	Not that distateful in my book, although it seems extremely subtle for 
Urd.  She is a confirmed beleiver in overdoing everything.

Which might well provide a way to fix the problem. Urd pulls one of her 
normal, strong love potions, which has the predictable effect...

...except that it either wears off, or else they fight off the effects, 
just as they're about to... ahh, go to it? And *then* they have to deal 
with the resulting embarrassment, possibly even anger and hurt... and 
then think of how good the reader will feel when they manage to overcome 
those feelings, and get together anyway.

It would be trickier to pull off, but much more satisfying for the 
reader. You want to feel good because they manage to overcome 
difficulties and strengthen their relationship in doing so... not have 
something stripped of much of its meaning by making it too easy.



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...I haven't lost it! It's been temporally mislaid...