Haven't written for a long time...
Bonds
This takes place after the fight with Zeruel (14th Angel, Episode 19).
You’ll notice some deviations from the plot which should be expected.
And no, I still haven’t let up on Gendou much ^_^.
I suggest several music pieces to go with this :
Harbringer of Tragedy : EVA CD 3, Track 4.
Normal Blood : EVA CD 3, Track 3
The Decisive Battle : EVA CD 1, Track 15
I. Shinji : EVA CD 1, Track 8 (I think)
NERV : EVA CD 1, Track 10
That covers the battle side. Play whenever it feels appropriate.
And yes. Spoilers abound.
*****
The 15th Angel, Raphael.
"Target has appeared approximately 15 miles north of the city. Blood type
is confirmed at Blue. We have no visual fix as of yet, Commander."
"Get one. Ready air units; I want to see how it stands up to conventional
fire. And alert the pilots." How did he know that this one would be
different? Answer : he did not. Years of closeness breeds familiarity,
though. Perhaps that was it.
"Probe has established a visual fix. Onscreen. Dr Akagi says that full
analysis should be ready in 5 minutes." How interesting. Wings. It was about
time one of them had actually manifested a symbol of what they were called.
He allowed himself a small, bitter smile. More like demons. He let himself
take in every detail of the armored figure on screen, it’s two snow-white
wings that spread skywards over the interlocking plates of green and black.
The mask of it’s face, the three slit and glowing eyes. The sheen of
daylight playing of it. What was is that screamed out at him. What made him
so wary of this one, so cautious, hesitant? They had defeated the worst yet,
with no loss of life. Why was he so afraid?
Then he saw it, strapped, no, melded to it’s back at the camera turned. A
sword.
No, it couldn’t be. The scrolls said so, SEELE said so. He had said so. But
it was. The Harbringer.
"The AT Field...it’s destroying the missiles before they even hit it!
Secondary gun emplacements are targeting. Maybe if they all fire at once
we’ll see some results..." he let them trail off. For a moment he could
almost feel a twinge of pity. They had no chance.
The blast tore through half the city.
*****
Misato Katsuragi looked at the monitor. This was not good. This was
definitely not good. Even with Unit-01 fixed from the last battle - she
winced at the thought; NERV had almost been destroyed then - she seriously
doubted the feasibility of sending it against this thing. Readouts also
indicated a body construction at least equal in strength and durability to
Unit-01’s, which put it far ahead of any Angels she’d seen so far, and
according to Ritsuko’s preliminary reports, it’s AT Field was easily as
strong as Ramiel’s, and further analysis showed that the wave pattern of the
field could also be manipulated, accounting for the blast. She winced again.
Car repayments were not cheap.
Still, there was hope. The field could be penetrated, theoretically, by
either the positron rifle, ultrasonic at a particular frequency (she dimly
remembered the weapons division working on something of that nature) or
another AT Field as strong. The first 2 were last-ditch chances at best,
with the rifle now being studied in America and the new progressive weapons
barely on the drawing board. Which meant Unit-01. And Shinji.
She didn’t want to see him hurt. He almost...he almost died up there the
other time. He shouldn’t have to fight these things, should be able to live
a normal life. That was her responsibility, and his father’s.
On a sudden impulse, she looked up at the Commander’s face. Implacable as
always. She wondered if he actually worried for his son. You wouldn’t think
it from the way he sat there, hands folded over each other, staring into
space. Then she returned her attention to the screen and the data that was
fast piling up. If there was some way to beat this thing, she would find it.
"Shinji-kun...Good luck."
*****
Maya Ibuki’s hands hurt. But if the sempai said the data had to be gotten
in fast, it got in fast. A few last keystrokes and she hit the compilation
key. She gasped as the screen filled. If this was correct...she caught
Shigeru’s glance, and then a few moments later, Makoto’s sigh.
They turned as one to the Doctor. She was lost in thought, still staring.
Thinking.
The young, black-haired tech breathed a mental sigh of relief. Akagi-sempai
would know what to do. Surely with the best of the world’s technology behind
them, they’d beat the latest Angel. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw
Shigeru turn back to the console, Makoto answer a question for the
Commander. She looked for one second more and returned to work. It did not
look good, though. According to the data, and MAGI estimates, there was only
a 5.6% to 11.2% that the three Units, combined could defeat Raphael.
Factoring in 01’s sai-kidou, the highest probability was 21.3%. Not good
odds with the fate of the world at stake.
Someone touched her on the shoulder. "Nothing." Akagi-sempai. And she
didn’t look at all hopeful.
She had to ask, though. "Akagi-sama, a modification on the Thereson
equation? Or perhaps inversion of Nakagiri’s postulates, those might
work..." she was shaking her head before the words came out. "Ibuki-san,
only under lab conditions would those work. No, there’s nothing we can do."
"Then it’s...over?" A trace of the old smile came back into her eyes. "Not
over. We all know Katsuragi-ichii works best under stress."
Science had done all it could. Now was the time for miracles.
*****
Unit-01, rising up before him. The head, with it’s yellow, baleful eyes and
teeth, bloodstained teeth. He always saw the head first, even in his dreams.
At his side he could hear Asuka complaining. Something about not being the
first to go up; ever since attaining a synchro rate higher than her’s, he’d
never heard the last of it. Rei standing to the left, staring at the EVA’s
as well.
He’d eaten the last Angel. Eaten it.
The bile threatened to rise in his stomach again, and he forced it down.
But the memories returned. His eye. Screaming in rage, fear and pain until
all of them had blended into a miasma of suffering. Being swallowed into
another realm. Blows raining down on him, blasts slamming into him. He
looked at Asuka again. She could have it all. He wouldn’t be the least bit
envious.
His hand brushed Rei’s as the lift came to a stop. Amazingly, the Second
hadn’t noticed this, and he took the opportunity to squeeze the thin, pale
skin, and felt an answering clench of the muscles. They shared a brief,
unspoken glance before they broke contact. That didn’t stop him from
thinking all the way to the changing room. There was meaning in those red
orbs. He just had to find it.
"Hey, baka! What’re you thinking about?"
Rei? Yes. The EVA’s? Yes. Myself? Yes. The thoughts swirled and spun in his
brain, chasing each other, running into a mass of blinding, changing color.
For a moment he was already inside the EVA, the startup procedure initiated,
LCL flooding him. Drowning him. A flash of recollection. The head, gazing at
him. Teeth. He wondered how he could ever have been proud of this.
For his father? Or for himself? For others? (What others, his mind seemed
to say) It didn’t matter, because...
"We’re going to die." Silence.
That earned him a sharp whap on the back of his head. "Of all the things to
say...well, Mr 60% synchro ratio, you can go out there and present a nice
target while I beat the stuffing out of it. What makes you think..." He
looked helplessly back at the angry auburn-haired Child. How could he
explain it? The feeling? He sought Rei’s eyes again and caught the same
flash of emotion as before.
He turned his head away suddenly. Enough. He couldn’t take it anymore. Let
them send him up, he didn’t care. A touch upon his wrist and the plugsuit
hissed around him, molding itself to his shape while he studiously ignored
Asuka’s insults. Rei was already gone. He sighed and got up; it would be a
long and tiring walk to the launching area.
It was. Actually, it was, "what a coward", "you could at least try", and
"why such an idiot was picked is beyond me" and countless others. He hung
his head and endured it in silence. One foot in front of the other; walk.
Next foot; walk. He was reminded of the first time he got into the EVA, this
was the same, except he was going to die now.
His reverie was broken rudely by a shove into the wall. Asuka was
straight-arming him, staring intently into his eyes. There was something in
her eyes; the same thing as Rei’s? No. "What’s wrong with you, Shinji?
You’re spacing out even more than normal." Was there concern in that voice?
He was brought back to reality sharply; what was he thinking, Asuka
concerned? That was anger. He shook his head mutely and resumed walking,
leaving a very puzzled 14-year old behind. Rei was up ahead. He could ask
her why he felt this way.
*****
"Baka Shinji. Baka Shinji." It became almost a chant as Sohryuu Asuka
Langley walked to the launch bays. Mr. High-synchro-but-will-die-anyway was
up ahead with the doll, not even talking, just side by side. She supposed
even morons had to get their kicks somehow.
But he wasn’t that bad, was he? At least he spoke, unlike Rei. At least he
wasn’t a total klutz in combat (although she had wondered about THAT a
couple of times). He deserved credit, she supposed, (although she certainly
didn’t need to be the one who gave it) for beating quite a few Angels; not
that she would have done badly if they’d just let her go up against them.
And he had saved her, once.
What was she thinking? For a moment, the old pain seared, and she quickly
sought refuge in her litany. Shinji was shy, and idiotic, not worthy to lick
the mud off her feet and other such heartening thoughts. There was a
concession made to her conscience, though.
"Hey, idiot!" He turned around, and she marveled how someone could look SO
utterly blank. "Good luck and try to not get killed up there!". No
response…Oh well, the things she put up with…
*****
Ikari-kun.
He is in danger. I know this.
Why? How? I cease to ponder the eternal questions and instead look deep
into his eyes. I hope he can sense what I need so desperately to tell him.
He cannot. He stares back, uncertain, innocent. Yet he is the one, I know
this in my heart. I yearn to tell him, to protect him.
But I cannot. And he does not know.
I can only hope. Hope that he survives and comes back…comes back to me.
*****
Kozo Fuyutsuki stared gravely at the screen with his Commander. This was
bad. More than apparent from the way his superior’s hands flexed and tapped
incessantly on the table they were perched on. He’d only seen Gendou do that
once, and that was just before the 2nd Impact.
Before him, he saw the launch procedures starting up, the techs scurrying
around like so many small ants over the hulking forms of the EVAs. It was
too bad the Positronic Sword wasn’t finished in time; it would have been a
useful weapon, even if the arc accentuators could only be fitted to Unit-01.
Too late now. He let his gaze wander over the room, noting, as always,
everything, from Ritsuko’s and the techs worried expressions to the fiercely
protective glance of the Major towards the screen. So, she was worried about
Shinji-kun again. He’d never thought someone like that could be maternal.
A faint memory of Yui stirred, and he was surprised at the vehemence with
which he had to brush it away. He hadn’t forgotten, it seemed, his best
student. She could have changed mankind, DID change mankind, he reminded
himself, but now she was gone. And only her son remained. For a moment he
felt another twinge of regret for the boy as well. He would have been so
happy with her. One have only to remember the looks they shared the fateful
day he’d come to NERV.
Her son. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gendou continue to stare at
the screen, as implacable as always. What did he think of Shinji, his son as
well? No one would know. He doubted that even Yui did.
The boy would need all the help he could get, he thought, looking at the
Harbringer tear the latest wave of attacking ships to bits. He muttered a
silent prayer and continued to stare. Let him come back alive, if only to
let the Project continue. Fleetingly, he saw Yui again, and wondered if the
possibly imminent destruction of his life’s work brought back the memory of
her. No matter.
Good luck, Shinji-kun. You’ll need it.
*****
He relaxed and let the fluids engulf him. It was so soothing, so warm,
so…forgiving. Not for the first time, he thought that it felt so much like
sleeping, But sleeping somewhere else, somewhen.
"Synchronization process started. Stage 1."
Here it was. The critical point. The world shifted and changed around him,
colors blurring and fusing into each other, a kaleidoscope of flickering
lights that spun and whirled. He prepared himself, waiting, expectant for
the moment that he knew was upon him but never could pinpoint.
There. A rush of emotion, and it was past. No matter how many times he
experienced it, the actual feeling always evaded him. It was fleeting,
involuntary, almost like a cough or reflex action. He pushed back ever so
slightly against his seat, body tingling from the aftermath of near-full
synchronization. A distant part of his mind reminded him of something…but he
pushed it away.
"Born to pilot Evangelion…" The display next to him flashed, and he sighed.
The numbers seemed to mock him. 89.3%. A jump of at least 15 percent. He
forced himself to forget he had achieved much higher. Much, much, higher.
Fear. Hunger. Rage. Pain. Fear. Pain. Rage. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Fear.
He’d eaten the Angel. Eaten it.
He concentrated his attention fully on the displays, straining to feel every
flexing of his right hand, every word that Maya spoke in his head, every
single muscle tensing, anything to get his mind off what he was thinking.
Feeling.
Fear. Fear. Pain. Pain. Rage.
Rage, rage, rage rage hunger hunger hunger rage hunger fear pain rage
hunger
ragehungerpainfearrageragehungerpainfwaragehunegrhuhungerragegungerragehunger
A flash of…
"Shinji. Shinji!" He realized that he had stopped breathing. Exhaling
forcefully, he saw Misato’s worried face gazing at him. He gave a weak smile
in return. "H, hai, Misato-san." It sounded feeble even to himself.
He thought he heard Asuka snigger.
"Shinji-kun, listen up. This Angel’s AT Field is stronger than anything
we’re seen" Misato was worried? Why? He was going to die anyway. "So you’re
going to have to take point. Units 2 and 0 will back you up when…" that
particular word sounded weaker "…when you get through. Okay?"
Asuka popped up in the lower corner of the display. "C’mon, let me at least
attack as well! Two AT Fields have got to be better than one…" he tuned out
her prattle.
Fear. Rage. Pain.
The sensation of swallowing, blood running hot down his throat, the animal
fangs tearing into inhuman flesh, and the so, so human thoughts, the
infuriatingly rational…
"Rei." He mouthed the word without thinking, but she heard. A second later,
her image flashed into existence above Asuka’s. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised
she was on a closed channel. Her eyes seemed to speak to him again, and this
time he knew what they meant, only to have the knowledge dissipate just as
he reached out for it.
"Shinji." He nodded soundlessly. Her voice was so soft, almost like she was
afraid to speak. He caught the something in her eyes against in her quite
whisper. "Good luck." Asuka and Misato were still arguing, but he noted that
Misato’s face seemed…strained.
"She cares. Cares for me." The thought struck like a thunderbolt, and he
sat, oblivious to everything besides the slow countdown to launch.
"Synchronization procedures complete. Ready for launch."
Misato was staring straight at the screen. "HASHIN!"
"Shinji. I am with you." He looked wildly about but saw no one. And then he
was rushing towards the surface, towards his destiny.
*****
The 15th looked forwards, ignoring the mangled remains of NERV craft,
strewn upon the ground like so much carrion on the broken ground. It’s
quarry was near, and that was all that mattered. Huge wings shifted,
spreading wider as the Harbringer seemed to anticipate the arrival of the
Evangelion. Staff all around NERV gasped as it’s steel-grey eyes blazed,
turning a dark, burning black. Something told them all that this was no
ordinary fight. It was Angel against Human, yes, but something more was
hanging in the balance this time.
Misato clutched her cross and to the amazement of herself and everyone
looking on, prayed for the first time in her life.
The Harbringer turned to see Unit-01 appear behind, already rushing to the
attack. The massive sword was out in a moment, and battle was joined between
Angel and Evangelion as fists of deep purple slammed against green armor. A
second later, Harbringer’s blade cut deep into the Unit in retaliation. LCL
began to slow leak to the ground, but the EVA showed no signs of injury
besides that.
A growl of rage from one of the two titans, and At Fields sprang into
existence around both combatants, the EVA’s a patchwork of static and rigid
hexagons, the Angel’s a strangely flowing web of sorts. Slowly, it stepped
forward, sword held at the ready. It’s opponent crouched, hands poised to
deal with any attack.
Then the ground exploded beneath them.
*****
"Masaka…" Ritsuko couldn’t believe what she saw. Even taking into account
the new parameters, they was simply no way an Angel’s AT Field could be that
powerful. That…flexible, for lack of a better word. At least 50% stronger
than Ramiel’s had been, with the ability to affect the surrounding area
through conscious manipulation of energy…power of this degree should have
been creating a distortion of some kind in reality!
It wasn’t. NERV around her seemed the usual bustle of activity it always
was in the midst of an Angel attack. Reports read out, damage assessment,
synch levels…
Synch levels. So that was what Maya had been saying a second ago. Synch…
Ritsuko Akagi liked to think that she was not easily surprised. She wasn’t.
Still, she couldn’t suppress a gasp of surprise, no, shock when she glanced
at the display panel.
"It can’t be…the boy’ll die in there, so close to peak so soon…"
212% and climbing…
*****
Pain. Rage, Rage, rage, fear ragepainfearragerageagearfe…
NO!
Inside Evangelion Unit 1, a boy named Shinji Ikari struggled for control of
his soul. The LCL around him seemed strange, oppressive, as if it was trying
to smother him, seep through the flimsy layer of cloth surrounding his body
and merge with it. He couldn’t let that happen; and didn’t stop to think
why, why he drew instinctively away from it. He fought uselessly, futilely,
against the heightening feeling of synchronization, the way his skin felt as
it touched the open air, except that he wasn’t supposed to feel the open air
in here he was in the cockpit not…
The sensation of food. Raw, hot, flesh sliding down his throat, juices
flowing into his mouth.
His muscles clenched, eyes dilated. No change. Still the eerie submergence,
forcing it’s way into his consciousness.
A sword. He saw come down in a swift, savage arc, and he darted away. Rage.
Fear. Rage.
No, more than rage. Need. The need for revenge.
Jump away, concentrate. Aim, strike. His fist, no, the EVA’s flew forward
only to slam into the glowing barrier surrounding the Angel. Revenge. He
would destroy it! He snarled in rage as he stepped forward, his own AT Field
expanding and intensifying in response to his…
No, not his. The EVA’s! IT WASN’T HIM!
Need. Rage. Revenge. Rage. He barely managed to avoid the next slash and
tumbled headfirst into a building, demolishing the structure entirely as he
scrambled to get away from the Angel’s swift and all too accurate attacks.
In his head, he was dimly aware of Misato screaming something at him, but he
couldn’t concentrate, he had to strike back, no he didn’t
Rage.
A howl of agony as the blade bit into his flesh, and he threw reason to the
winds, rushing forwards, hands tearing, ripping, at the interlocking armor
of the Angel. He tried a final time to stop and…
Revenge.
He couldn’t take it. Fighting two battles at the same time, the boy’s
stamina snapped and he screamed as the mergence took him in it’s soothing,
comforting embrace. He heard voices, sounds. Then nothing.
Blackness, for a time. He suddenly remembered Rei’s eyes. They were telling
him something. Saying something.
"I’ll protect you."
Would she?
*****
"Send up Units 00 and 02." He was amazed at the coolness of his voice. It
should have been cracking right about now; seeing his hopes and dreams
tumble into dust before him. Still, he was too used to it. The same bland,
almost icy tone of it; it grew on you. Made it easier to hide emotion.
Who would win. That was the question being played out in front of him. His
son, or the Harbringer. Probably the latter. It was stronger.
He wondered who they truly were. Both of them.
His son. His own flesh and blood, out there. Fighting, possibly dying.
Possibly being killed this very moment. What would his wife think?
He did not ponder the question further.
*****
"Shin-chan." A voice, gentle, soft…familiar. Strong. The blackness began to
recede, replaced by warmth. A kind, soothing warmth, not the…savage…heat
that had engulfed him moments before. But they were still alike. How he
could not say.
"I’ll protect you…" Wasn’t Rei supposed to say that? Do that?
And then he opened his eyes.
*****
Ikari-kun is hurt. He needs me.
I see the cut and slashed body of his Unit on the ground, LCL leaking like
blood from it. Maybe they are alike. The blood and fluids from Lilith, and
the Unit and him. Both. So many dualities, as in nature. Male and female,
good and evil. She and I.
But his mother is with him. She will help. We will.
I wonder if he knows what I meant with my eyes. I think he does.
*****
The battle was not faring well for Unit-01. After the sudden cry it made
and subsequent sprawl into the ground, the Angel had seized the upper hand,
using it’s sword with deadly efficiency and pinning it’s adversary down.
EVA-01 was already bleeding from various wounds, and it’s previously high
(Ritsuko said dangerous) AT Field and synchro ratios were fluctuating wildly.
In Misato’s eyes, things were not going well at all. Especially with
Shin-chan up there. She narrowed her eyes, focussing her gaze at the winged
monstrosity that was now delivering another blow to Unit-01. Thankfully, it
glanced off the single arm the EVA brought up to block the strike. But that
was only one attack…
Fighting. That was it. Unit-01 seemed to be fighting…itself, as well. She
knew next to nothing about the strange workings that went on inside each
Evangelion, but from Ritsuko’s harried and frenzied reports, as well as her
own eyes, she could see that Shinji was winning the mental battle, if not
the physical one. If only she could buy him more time. Her hand gripped the
cross, the cool metal edges biting into her hand. No miracles to be had.
Only backup.
"Asuka, Rei! Get into position. Try conventional fire, then move into melee
range if there’s no result." She glanced at the white-coated doctor and
shrugged. Risk won battles. "If possible, get near to the Angel…your
combined AT Fields should do something about it’s own." There. That was all
she could do. She barely heard Rei’s whispered affirmation and Asuka’s
cocky, loud one. She was watching the battle again, scrutinizing each blow
exchanged, attack evaded, as if her life depended on it. It didn’t.
But someone else’s did. Someone she cared about very much.
*****
The idiot had gotten himself into another scrape. Trust him to rush
headlong into combat and make a fool of himself; it looked like SHE would
have to do something about it. As usual. And for once, Doll Girl had the
same orders she did.
Sighing in exasperation, she leveled the Palette Rifle at the shifting
field of orange energy around both battling titans. A part of her noted that
the field has somehow managed to expand, encompassing both EVA and Angel it
itself, but she put that thought aside. Now if he’d just gotten a decent
weapon BEFORE rushing in…she let loose with a round of rapid fire. And
again. And again. Beside her, Doll Girl was doing the same thing with a
machine gun. She grinned as she saw the shots hit the field. Things would be
cleaned up in a second, and then she’d go back and…
She blinked. Nothing. No change whatsoever, not only was the field
unaffected; the combatants didn’t even seem to notice the blasts. Orders
were orders though; "Hey, Doll Girl, get over there!"
Trust baka Shinji to mess things up again, she thought as her Unit and 00
broke into a swift run towards the battleground. At least she was here now…
*****
The pain was gone, leaving only iron resolution in it’s wake. There was
someone with him, too, someone familiar, but most of all, someone strong.
Because strength was what he needed now.
With a cry of rage that was all his, he struck the Angel across the chest,
the EVA rearing up from the ground to rain more blows upon the green-armored
figure. A strike to the groin sent it reeling back, and he rushed forward to
press his sudden advantage. Around him, he could feel the pulsing of his own
AT Field as it struggled against the Angel’s own stronger one.
Second wind, yes, but the fight was far from over. He had to duck the next
few slashes and even then, the sword scored several glancing wounds on his
neck and body as he attempted to gain a better position. Finally, a missed
thrust gave him the opening he needed, and he crashed both hands down on the
Angel’s unprotected neck. It stumbled, but soon got up again, warding off
his advances with it’s blade. A weapon. Almost instinctively, he reached up,
the shoulder of his Unit opening with a hiss to drop the Progressive Knife
into his palm. Not ideal, but sufficient.
"Shinji Ikari." He almost dropped the knife. The Angel…it was speaking to
him! The voice…unmistakably that of an Angel.
Wait. How did he know what an Angel sounded like? If anything, it had
sounded like the voices in the Sea of Dirac, and the one just now…his shook
his head in denial. No, it couldn’t be.
"Shinji Ikari." It was. "Humanity is strange, is it not? You all hide
behind a veneer of civilization, but inside you still are the primal beast.
Show us. Show us your worth".
He didn’t care anymore, not for the Angel’s words, not for his safety, not
for anything. He would kill it. His eyes narrowed, and the killing haze came
down over them. Revenge, it spoke to him. Rage. The twin AT fields around
them began to coalesce into one whole, orange melting into red to form a
blazing white.
The Angel’s eyes glowed again as it advanced forward. The fight had begun
in earnest.
*****
They were about 20 feet away. Good. Her mouth was dry, parched even, as she
looked at Units 00 and 02 settle into position. It was a gamble, was they
were about to do, a desperate one, but the best chance they had. She spared
one glance for a colleague and was gratified to see a wink in reply. That
meant that it wasn’t total foolishness. She gave one back in return, hoping
no one saw the drop of moisture that hit the ground.
Shin-chan. Be alright.
"Rei! Asuka! Deploy AT Fields at full strength!" A second later, the twin
shimmering fields of orange-red manifested around both Units. The effect was
almost immediate. the Harbringer buckled at it’s knees, the faint outline of
red around it melting away to leave only the white blaze of energy
surrounding both the EVA and Angel. It paid dearly for it’s stumble as a
Progressive Knife came down, a single savage stroke, to cleave one wing
away. A triumphant roar rang out as the EVA reared it’s head back in victory.
Misato blinked. Not again. This couldn’t be happening.
Bloodstains smeared the EVA’s mouth as it swallowed a final gulp of bloody
feathers, eyes glowing like the fallen Angel’s. Then it began to change. Warp.
The staff of NERV looked on in horror as a single black leathery wing burst
forth from Evangelion Unit 1’s back.
******
He no longer knew what was right or wrong. Pain and fear had long since
lost their meaning; he was fighting a battle beyond mere human extremes,
where such emotions held no substance. What remained was the rage.
No, not the rage. Something else.
He could remember biting into the wing, the hateful feel of hot liquid
flowing down his throat, inflaming him to new heights of fury and anger. But
that wasn’t him. No, he would fight against that , against the EVA…but then,
who was he? He was fighting against himself, then, wasn’t he? They were joined.
No, Shinji. That voice, the Angel’s voice. But somehow this one seemed
kinder than what any of them should have. It sounded like it knew him. It
whispered words of comfort, of fortitude, of strength. But they weren’t
enough against this formless, seemless enemy that struck at him through
every pore of his body, through the blood-red liquid which even now he
thrashed about in helpless fury. He needed help.
I will protect you.
The thought came unbidden to him. He needed assistance; it had come in the
form of that thought, that and the sudden rush of energy that welled up
within him. He reached down into it, reached down deep, deeper than he’d
ever gone before…
******
The situation was going from bad to worse. All Units were now functionally
inoperative, not received any external stimuli at all. They had no other
ground or air forces to throw away. N2 Bombs would be next to useless
against the massive fused AT Field thrown up by both the Harbringer and
Unit-01. All Ritsuko Akagi and Misato Katsuragi could do was wait.
Wait, and count the display that edged slowly up, the orange red numerals
which seemed to mock them by their steady increase.
415%, 426%, 441%…
******
Ikari-kun. Now is the time.
I open my mind to him. I can only hope he understands what is there.
******
Shinji’s screaming. His *screaming*. She couldn’t believe she didn’t notice
the similarity before. Maybe it was the way the AT Fields of all the Units
were steadily merging into one, creating enhanced synchronicity, but she
should have heard it before. She had blocked it out, but now with the
gradual complementation of all the Units, she could see, no, practically
feel Shinji’s emotions.
Like a lost child. Like a child that had lost it’s mother. Like her.
No one would ever know, here in the EVA. Her secret was still safe. And she
could help.
She steeled herself and threw her whole being, mind and soul, into the
projection of her Field. The tear was lost in the LCL.
******
His mother was with him. So was Rei. So was Asuka. And in some inexplicable
way, so was Misato. He couldn’t believe how good that made him feel. He had
reached the deepest reserves of himself, and liked what he found there.
Bonds. So that was what she meant. Bonds to all people. Bonds to all
things. She had done more than protect him; she had freed him. The power
began to build within him, singing a paean of strength to the innermost,
untapped parts if him. He let it grow and sought further.
He embraced the rage, felt it become part of him, felt it link itself back
to the part of him where he himself had torn it forth years ago. He thought
of his friends, of the people in Tokyo-3, living in fear of yet another
Angel attack, and found strength there. He had to fight. For himself. For
everyone. How he knew this, he did not bother to question. He knew, and that
was enough for now.
Power. Strength. Understanding. He stood united in all three.
He faced the Angel once again as it’s eyes glowed.
*****
Their plans were crumbling around them. The HCP did not seem so grand or
world-sweeping a proposition now, with all available Units lost and doom
staring them in the eye. Or eyes. Evangelion Unit-01 and the Harbringer,
gazes locked as both synchronization and AT Field levels continued to
skyrocket. She had long since ceased to notice that the other pilot’s synch
ratings were starting to climb. It was an inconsequential detail; like her
colleague, Misato, closing her eyes and praying audibly, or her protégé,
Maya, head slumped on her desk. It mattered not.
Because the Third Impact was starting before her. With this much power,
(over 500% and rising, her mind noted mechanically) they didn’t need the
Spear or Lilith. Or Shinji might just oblige his opponent and turn into an
Angel; he certainly had the synch rate to do it.
But in it all she found the something she’d discarded a long time ago.
Pity. Not for herself; that was dead and buried long ago. But no, pity for a
young defenseless boy with the fate of the world on his shoulders.
So it was against herself that she clasped hands and muttered a soft
"Shinji…good luck". But then again, maybe it wasn’t.
******
His son was going to die. He was supposed to feel remorse, but felt none.
Only regret. That was a start.
"Shinji." He could say no more.
******
He felt everyone, and the power peaked, blossoming into a phoenix that
cried out in indescribable beauty even as it dissipated against the flaming sky.
He smiled.
******
One-winged against one-winged, the two titans faced each other. It looked
for all the world as if the Apocalypse had come, with the sky tinged red and
the earth scorched black by the flaring At Fields. Nearby, Units 00 and 02
sat dormant, a slight flicker of lighting on each mecha’s surface the only
sign of movement.
They stared, baleful yellow against glowing white, bloody knife held
against shining sword. And then it began.
There had been many fights on Earth before this. They had been for power,
for things, for material wants. Sometimes, they had been for loftier ideals,
for peace, for love. None fought before had such a prize at stake. The world
hung in the balance, but also something infinitely more precious. A human soul.
With an inarticulate cry of rage, Evangelion Unit 1 sprang forward to
deliver a vicious knife stroke to the Angel, ripping away the outer armor.
The sword struck again in retaliation, leaving the Unit with but one arm
remaining, blood spurting from the ragged stump. Another furious exchange
left Unit 1 with savage lacerations across his chest, and the Harbringer
with one eye and a torn wing. Silence as both circled each other. There was
to be no quarter given; none asked. Only the most worthy would walk away.
The knife snaked out, only to be knocked away. Stalemate. Wings stretched
further, positions changed.
We are with you.
He struck. One blow was all it took, and the Sword was sent spinning away.
Then fierce, primal nature took over, and the Angel became prey. With almost
sadistic glee, Unit 1 set to work on the Harbringer, ripping apart armor and
flesh alike in an ecstasy of war. One arms was torn off even as a
ear-shattering, unearthly howl split the air, then a leg, blood spewing from
the ruptured opening. The armor was tossed, crimson-stained and broken, to
the ground. Another strike, and more blood flowed. Again. And again.
Finally, the EVA straddled the Angel, it’s own eyes glowing strangely.
Before it was the red orb that was an Angel’s heart. Victory was in it’s
grasp. It reared back a final time, howling it’s triumph into the empty air.
The blow came down.
Both eyes met in a final stare.
Slowly, he lowered his arms and bowed his head, for the first time aware of
how close he had come. He was back. Something very like a sigh escaped the
EVA’s mouth.
The wind soughed around them fallen Angel. He was back.
And he knew now that he would never be alone.
******
Author’s Note :
Yeow, long! This started as a simple fic and really took on a life of it’s
own after that. Whether that’s good or bad is for you to decide. ^_^
Not too good, I thought. I think this fic suffers from the attempt to
introduce too many themes at a time. Oh well, live and learn. Hope you like
it anyways.
This fic is dedicated to my sister.
Zhou Tai An (kain@pacific.net.sg) "There is no one simple truth." - Rune Walsh
"Who is this? This is I. Who is I? What is I? - Rei Ayanami
I am myself. This object is I. The figure that forms me."
When someone stands in the light but does not give it out, a shadow is created.
The ways of nature and of life are strange and deep. They are not to be
understood. In the midst of angers and of wars love's secret work goes on,
and binds us all by blood, and this, whether love is denied or bestowed. -
Pearl S. Buck