This is my first solo fic completed.  It's just something silly that came 
to 
me while waiting for the bus.

Colin

***********************************************************************
Full Immersion

The infomercial Ranma 1/2 fans have been waiting for...


                [Living room.  Three anime fans: ALEX, BOB, and CINDY, 
                are on the couch watching Ranma 1/2 OAVs.]

BOB:            You know, Ranma is my favorite series.  I've always 
                wished I could be a character in it.  [ALEX and CINDY 
                nod in agreement.]

VOICE-OVER:     Your prayers are answered!  At long last, Anime 
                Immersions, Inc. is able to bring its new line of Full 
                Immersion anime experiences to the anime-loving public.  
                Now, you can become a new character in Ranma 1/2 after 
                completing our in-depth course!

ANIME FANS:     Wow!  Really?  Way to go!

VOICE-OVER:     Yes, it's true!  As new Ranma 1/2 characters, you'll be 
                given detailed background stories, including

                [Jusenkyo.  ALEX perches on a bamboo pole, and then 
                falls off into a spring.]

JUSENKYO GUIDE: Oh, too bad.  You fall in verkinichuan, Spring of 
                Drowned Slug.  Very tragic legend of slug who drown 
                there, two-thousand seven-hundred fifty year ago.  
                Now anyone who fall in there, take body of a slug.

VOICE-OVER:     Jusenkyo curses,

                [Street in front of Ucchan's.  BOB stands on the 
                sidewalk.]

KODACHI:        Ho ho ho!  [Jumps down from a rooftop, surrounded by a 
                swirl of black rose petals.]  My darling Bob-sama!  
                [Embraces the unwilling BOB.]

VOICE-OVER:     love interests,

                [Amazon village.  SHAMPOO and CINDY are facing each 
                other on the battle grounds, in front of a crowd of 
                Amazons.]

SHAMPOO:        Outsider womans no defeat Shampoo!  [Leans over and 
                kisses CINDY.]  Shampoo give Kiss of Death!

VOICE-OVER:     and/or enemies!

VOICE-OVER:     In order to interact with other characters, you'll 
                learn a specialized vocabulary, including such useful 
                words and phrases as

                [Tendo living room.  The family is sitting around the 
                table, including a sickly-looking ALEX, who sits beside 
                AKANE.]

AKANE:          Baka!  [Pulls out a mallet and smashes ALEX hard on the 
                head.]

VOICE-OVER:     idiot,

                [Furinkan High locker room.  BOB stands in the middle 
                of a group of girls in the midst of changing into their 
                gym outfits.]

GIRLS:          Hentai!  [They rush BOB and pull him down.]

VOICE-OVER:     pervert,

                [Street in Nerima.  CINDY, in a pretty dress, is arguing 
                furiously with RANMA.]

RANMA:          Kawaiikune!

VOICE-OVER:     and uncute!

VOICE-OVER:     To fit in, you'll be given valuable martial arts 
                training, including

                [Street in front of Furinkan High.  HAPPOSAI rushes out 
                of the school, running and hopping in glee with a bra in 
                each hand.]

HAPPOSAI:       He he he!  We'll make it, Alex me boy!

                [ALEX emerges, with a heavy sack slung over one 
                shoulder.  Immediately behind him is a group of very 
                angry young women.]

VOICE-OVER:     endurance training,

                [Inside of Tendo Dojo.  GENMA in panda form faces off 
                against BOB in a white gi.]

GENMA:          Growl growl gruff.  [Pulls out sign reading "Learn 
                this!" and then attacks BOB in a flurry of blows that 
                ends in BOB smashing against the wall in front of the 
                long line containing SOUN, COLOGNE, HAPPOSAI, and other 
                aged martial artists, waiting to take their turns.]

VOICE-OVER:     personal instruction from master martial artists,

                [Forest.  CINDY is tightly bound in ropes and hanging 
                from a tree.]

COLOGNE:        To master the Breaking Pount, you must smash the boulder 
                with a single finger!

                [Large boulder swings down on a rope directly towards 
                CINDY.]

VOICE-OVER:     and in-depth research into secret and ancient martial 
                arts techniques!

                [Living room.  ALEX, BOB, and CINDY are on the couch.  
                All bear bruises and bandages from head to toe.]

BOB:            [Wearily]  I think I'd rather be a character in 
                something safe, like "End of Evangelion".

VOICE-OVER:     Call 1-800-GO-ANIME today for your free catalog, and 
                sign up for this special course!  And, for a limited 
                time only, the following courses are available at a 
                special low, low price: "Boomer in Bubblegum Crisis", 
                "Youma in Sailor Moon", and "Innocent Bystander in The 
                Dirty Pair"!

                [Screen fades to blue, with the address of Anime 
                Immersion, Inc. in the top half and the following in 
                very small print in the bottom half: "Anime Immersion, 
                Inc. not responsible for any injuries, financial 
                liabilites, or engagements that may result as of this 
                course. All characters and universes owned by their 
                respective owners and used without permission.  No 
                refunds.  Have a nice day."]