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Music 1/2
By Adrian Wong
All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and some others.
This is a work done in a fit of boredom.
Part 1 : Performance by Chinese Aquarium
[Scene opens on a stage with a spotlight being cast on an exotic,
purple-haired girl. The Ranma fans below the stage claps.]
Girl [waving at crowd]: Nihao! I Shampoo, one of leading Ranma girls of
Ranma 1/2 series. You all know much about me, no?
Boy1: Yeah, you were the hottest thing in the entire series!
Girl1,2,3,4: What?! Akane is much better than that airhead!
Boy2: You're just calling her that cause you shapeless chicks are jealous
of Shampoo-sama's figure . . .
Boy3 [as Boy 2 gets trashed]: But why would a hot girl like you degrade
yourself over a jerk like Ranma anyway?
Girl5: And why are all your Amazon Laws so stupid? Especially that Kiss of
Love and Kiss of Death thing . . .
Shampoo: You want hear Shampoo's side of story?
All: YES!!!
Shampoo: Okay, me and fellow band mates tell Shampoo's story through song
then. Show self, fellow Aquarium members!
[With that, three exotic Chinese boys stepped up to beside Shampoo as the
crowd gasp in awe.]
Boy4: Na. . .Nani?! The Chinese Villain trio!!
[The Chinese boy with wings behind his boy narrowed his eyes as he formed a
ball of chi in his claw.]
Boy: You will refer to us as Prince Saffron . . . and the Chinese Villain duo.
[The other two boys are obviously pissed at hearing that.]
Boy with high-pigtail: How dare you call the mighty Dragon Prince Herb a
villain, you lowly Phoenix boy?!
Boy with high-bun: As leader to the Seven Lucky Gods, Kirin no swallow
insult from bird boy!
[With that, the three princes charged each other, only to be frozen by a
bonbori strike aimed at the space between them.]
Shampoo: Idiot boys, this no time fight! We have to show world unity
between Chinese people!
Saffron/Herb/Kirin: True enough.
[With that, the four of them smiled "falsely" toward the crowd, who are
sweating.]
Shampoo: Okay! Let's start from story's beginning. LET'S GO!
[With that, the stage lit up to show a remake of the Amazon battle arena
(including the table of food) as music permeated the dorm. Shampoo leaped
up onto the log as Herb and the other boys disappeared.]
Shampoo [singing]:
My oh my do you wanna say goodbye?
To have their dojo, Airen, is that wise?
My oh my do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule a village, baby, you and I?
If you were my King...
A little Amazon in a terrible mess,
Winner of the match, yet no lovers confess-
[Mousse suddenly popped out of nowhere and grabs onto Shampoo's leg.]
Mousse: Shampoo, my love!
[Shampoo booted him away with a look of distain as she continued to sing.]
Shampoo:
Dreams of a man who stood tall and strong,
runs like a horse by the village walls.
[Just them, Herb-chan, in a somewhat obvious Ranma-chan disguise creeps up
onto the stage along with someone in a panda suit. They began eating the
food labled "prize".]
Ranma-chan (Herb):
Gotta steal some to eat, when they donīt know Iīm coming,
Panda [singing in Saffron's voice as it chewed on a drumstick]:
Gotta give to your Pop, so don't you take all,
Ranma-chan: [notices the angry Shampoo]:
My oh my donīt you cry, coz there is no way Iīm paying,
I'll beat you, take your prize, Then go on my way...
[The two of them mock fight as Kirin (in a Jusenkyo guide getup) and
Saffron (panda getup) continue to sing.]
Guide (Herb)/Panda (Saffron):
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
["Ranma-chan" defeats Shampoo and left smugly with the Guide and the Panda.
Shampoo got up angrily.]
Shampoo:
Burning shame in my warrior heart,
crying at night, I wanna kill my self
Little red-head don't think we are through,
Catching up to you I will kick your rear!
Chorus (as the stage dims):
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
[The stage lits up again, this time with a Tendo Dojo setting. Herb-kun is
dressed in a somewhat obvious Ranma disguise, while Saffron is in a somwhat
unsuccessful Ryoga disguise.]
Shampoo [as she touches "Ranma's" chest]:
Catching up to you at the Tendo House,
Groping a feel I wanna scream with lust!
Pretty little boy just try beat me up,
Give me an excuse to act out my love!
[With that, she picked a fight with Kirin in a downright ridiculous Akane
getup.]
Ranma(Herb):
Gotta freeload in here, so Pop won't give me beatings,
gotta rid of this girl, to save Akane.
["Ranma" hit Shampoo while she was distracted. She got up and advanced
towards him with a smirk as he backed away nervously.]
My oh my donīt you try, coz there is no way Iīm dying,
I will leave say "bye bye", Iīm going my way...
Shampoo [as she gave him a bear hug]: Wodi Airen, Wo Ai Ni!
"Akane"/"Ryoga":
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
[Shampoo began chasing "Ranma" around.]
Shampoo:
If you were my man...
Wo~o~o
I would be your queen....
Wo~o~o
Even if you're cursed ...
Wo~o~o
I'll still make you mine....
Wo~o~o
So come and be my man!
All:
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
My oh my,
Wo~o~o
Ranma(Herb):MY OH MY OH MY!!!!!!!!
[The crowd clapped at the entertaining recap of the Shampoo-Arc of Ranma
1/2 as the stage dims once more.]
Boy 25: So what became of you after the end of the series?
Boy 36: Were you driven to hunt down Ranma till the end of time?
Boy 69: Or did you just settle for Mousse like you should have-
[A flying bonbori smacked him square on his face.]
Shampoo [looking pissed]: Silly boy! Shampoo no marry unattractive duck man!
Duckman [sitting within the crowd]: Excuse me . . .
Girl 50: So really, who did you end up with?
Shampoo [smiling playfully]: Shampoo show you with song! LET's GO!
[With that, the stage lit up to show a grand Chinese setting as music
permeated the dorm. Shampoo and the others (all reappearing in their
princely getups) positioned themselves.]
Shampoo [singing with an echo in the background]:
Be classy~
Herb:
Come on letīs go show it off!
Shampoo [singing with an echo in the background]:
Be classy~
Kirin:
Come on let's go show it off!
Shampoo [singing with an echo in the background]:
Be classy~
Saffron:
Everybody letīs go show it off!
Shampoo:
I donīt want to waste my time on heartless little him
He who dare to ate at my place for free all the time
Herb:
After cleaning out your restaurant, he's just gonna say bye-bye.
Shampoo:
Nor do I want a crazy blind boy to chase me all the time
Hoping I will change my mind but that's not possible
Kirin:
I know he hate wearing glassing, but at least he should get contact lens.
Shampoo:
I donīt want to waste my time on uncool little boys
Iīd rather stay here every night with classy boys who sing-
All:
Classy boys and classy girls, will be
we are the classy boys and girls
Classy boys and classy girls, will be
So classy, yeah!, so, so classy, yeah!
Classy boys and classy girls, will be
we are the classy boys and girls
Classy boys and classy girls, will be
oh yeah, so classy...
Shampoo:
Young and old.
All:
Be classy.
Shampoo:
Everyone.
All:
Be classy.
Shampoo:
Iīm sure you could.
All:
Be classy.
Cause classy boys and classy girls is around the world!
[The crowd clapped at the entertaining recap of the Shampoo-Arc of Ranma
1/2 as the stage dims once more.]
Boy 70: That was cool . . . so, ahh . . . who did you choose?
Shampoo: Shampoo decided to play the field for a couple more years before
choosing.
Girl 12: But didn't you have to marry Ranma by the law of your village?
Shampoo [smiling smugly]: Law of village said Shampoo's husband must be
able to defeat Shampoo in combat. Herb, Saffron and Kirin had all proven
themselves worthy. Ranma only Shampoo's husband if Shampoo wills it so.
Girl 51,52, and 53 [speaking to the princes]:What do you boys see in her
anyway?!
Kirin: She no weak like Lychee, and more more womanly than Akane. Besides,
when Lychee throw away family scroll after divorce, Shampoo one picked it
up. She destined be Kirin's woman.
Shampoo [raising an eyebrow]: Kirin-chan forgotten Shampoo Amazon?
Kirin [meekly]: Kirin mean he destined Shampoo's man.
Saffron: I want to unite the Amazon tribe and the Mt Phoenix people, just
so that our off springs would have a chance of becoming normal people
instead of birdmen.
Herb [glaring at Saffron]: . . .
Girl 17: Well, Herb, what do you see in her anyway?
Herb [with a royal flush on his face]: Who . . . who said that I liked that
crafty female?! It just happened that the Emperor wanted me to marry a
girl of Amazon blood to strengthen our bloodline-
Shampoo [with tears in her eyes]: Herb. . . Herb think so little of Shampoo?!
Herb: Wait! That's not what I meant-
Kirin/Saffron: Die for hurting Shampoo-chan!!!
[With that, the two proceeded to gang up on him as Shampoo wiped off her
tears and smirked deviously.]
Shampoo: Heh, serve Dragon jerk right! Now he know who boss.
Girl 69: Ah . . . so what happened to Ranma, who did he ended up with?
Shampoo [winking at her]: When Ranma hold concert, you find out.
End Part one
Warning: this fic most probably won't be continued in the future.
Adrian Wong
Jan 16,1997.