Deuce wrote:
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- a really good part two -  :)
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Really.  Not bad at all.  It's quite enticing.  Although there
is one thing that strikes me; some of the dialogue spoken.  I'm
not sure, but some of it seems a bit...er...not fitting to the
people speaking.  First thing that comes to mind in this respect
is some of Ryoga's dialogue.  The other little thing in terms of
what they say: the end where Ranma is on the floor.  Did he
get up off the floor and suddenly stop speaking through clenched
teeth?  Very minute detail, but something I noticed.

I'd like to see a little bit more of the other characters; get
them involved quick.  It would be interesting seeing how someone
like Kasumi would mix into this volatile mixture you've already
made.  Very nice story.  Quite enthralled.  Love to see more of
it.

Vincent "Sklathill" Diamante