On Tue, 13 Jan 1998, Roy Fokker wrote:

---Lord Archive <archive@mich.com> wrote:

Second Chances

By Lord Archive

The start of the series is the saddest, darkest thing I will

probably ever 

write. On the whole, the series isn't dark, it just starts that way.

Whoaaaaa!  It may start dark, but I like it so far.  I only found a
couple of minor spelling errors, so I'll skip that part of C&C.  

Oops. I'll have to go back and find those.

The only thing that didn't ring exactly true was how easily Happosai
died.

Okay. When I post chapter 3 (and maybe 4 Sunday), I'll add a discription
of just what Akane's chi strike was doing to the old lech. It won't be
pretty.

 The rest of the story was simply Awesome!  I must say, I almost
busted a gut laughing when Akane accidently got the Goddess Relief
line! 

Particularly up until that point it was very dark and sad, and then >BOOM<
a joke solution to all Akane's problems. You just weren't expecting it.

I'm sorry to see this is one of the stories you will only work
on in the mood, because I for one can't wait to see what happens next.
 Of course writing that way, the story will be better still. Keep Up
the good Work!

Well the spirit is still moving me, as chapter 3 is complete. I will
probably send it Sunday with chapter 4 (I hope.)


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