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Legion of Perversion
by Chris Jones
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*RAP* *RAP* *RAP*
"Ahem, The meeting will come to order."
The noise gradually died down, but a rustle not unlike the turning pages
of many magazines only quieted until it was barely audible. Occasional
flashes of pink color gradually drifted up from the audience, the quiet
remnants of the photo trading session that had been interrupted.
"Thank you!" The dark haired girl called out. "Welcome to the meeting,
everyone! For anyone who's here by mistake, this is the two hundred and
second meeting of the Legion of Perversion. We'll give you a chance to
leave before we start conducting business.
She smiled warmly as two heavyset, older women gasped in shock and ran
from the meeting hall.
"Never fails, does it? Move to skip the reading of last week's minutes?"
Most of the hands around the audience went up. Those that didn't were
doing things best unmentioned.
"Motion carries by majority. Unless there are any pressing concerns, I'll
turn the meeting over to our president."
A muffled cheer went up from around the room.
"You know him, you hate him..." she introduced. "He's the most lecherous
being in the galaxy. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you... Ataru Moroboshi!"
"Hey, Babe!"
*SLAP*
"Hands off, Moroboshi. And that's *Miss Shimeru* to you..."
"Whatever."
As Ataru rose and took his place behind the podium, Futana sat down in the
furthest seat on the stage from him. Ataru raised his hands above his head
to quiet the applause. He rubbed the welt on his cheek and pulled out a
spiral folder overfull with odd-sized papers.
"I've got good news and bad news," he started. "The bad news is that
filming on the new 'Pajama Demon' anime has halted due to lack of funds by
the Oorochi company."
A muffled groan went up from around the audience, but Ataru held his hand up.
"The good news is that, due to generous lobbying by myself and some of the
other Legion officers, if we can get a thousand people to prepurchase a
video, the Shoken bank will finance the rest of the shoot. It'll be rough,
I know, but we've got to do this! If you can afford to buy more than one,
go ahead. We've got to really sell 'Pajama Demon' to the masses if we ever
want the chance to see it. Are you with me people?"
A number of hands went up around the audience, and a chorus of 'I'll buy!'
rang out.
"Good. Futana will have the purchase orders in the snack room after the
meeting.
"Now, for the second order of business, I'd like to turn the meeting over
to our treasurer. Happi?"
The little, misshapen martial artist stood up in his chair and fixed the
audience with a long, cold stare.
"There seems to be a problem with some members not paying their dues. I
won't mention any names, because you know who you are."
He fixed several members of the crowd with icy glares.
"Is five bikini briefs a month too much to ask for? Like I've said time
and time again, a good lace thong only costs a thousand yen! If you're good
enough, it only takes the effort necessary to steal it!" He shook his head
sadly. "Since we're so far behind, I'm going to extend the double panty
program. From now on, if you bring in panties that have already been worn,
you get triple credit instead of double. Any questions?"
Happousai sat, his eyes hovering just above the surface of the table like
two fiery pools.
"Well said," Ataru commented as he stood back up. "We've also been having
some troubles with 'Operation Lockeroom'. What seems to be the hold up?
Masaki?"
Noboyuki Masaki stood and handed a clipboard to Ataru. "We've got contacts
in most of the high-schools, colleges and private gyms in Tokyo. All we're
missing now is the hardware."
Mackie Stingray leaned forward from his seat. "The cameras and
transmitters are all ready. The sound equipment won't be done for another
few weeks, but if we installed the video this weekend, we could go back
with in the audio when it's ready."
Noboyuki nodded happily. "I don't think that's a problem. We could have a
live feed by this weekend."
Ataru gave a thumb's up sign. "If there are no objections, go ahead. I'll
install the Tomobiki transmitter myself. Any objections, people?"
The room toned back down to it's paper rustling quiet.
"Okay, we'll have a special meeting sunday afternoon for the first--"
Ataru paused as the door at the back of the room opened quietly and an
older man in a business suit passed through.
"Can I help you?" Ataru asked, the irritation plain on his face.
"Err..." The man ran his fingers through his thick grey hair. "Can you
tell me if I'm in the right place or not?"
"That all depends," Ataru retorted.
Mackie stood up again. "Oh, Mr. Ajo. I must have told you the wrong date.
The meeting for mech and robot fetish is *tommorow* night! This is the
flesh only group.
The executive nodded morosely.
"Feel free to stick around, though. We gonna have a few screenings after
the meeting.
Ajo's eyes widened, but he quietly took a seat in the back of the meeting
room.
"'Salways great to get a new member." Ataru commented. "If there are no
objections, we'll start phase two of 'Operation Lockeroom' this weekend and
begin planning for phase three at next week's meeting.
"Also, I would like to congratulate Legion Secretary Masaki on the
completion of his 'Naughty Senshi' doujinshi collection. If you have the
opportunity, I highly reccomend you pick up an issue for yourself or read
one of the volumes we have in the Legion library. It is...
"Stimulating..." Noboyuki supplied breathlessly.
"I was going to say chock full of babes in transparent fukus, but that's
allright, too."
"Speaking of fukus," a voice rang out from the audience. "I've got a whole
new bunch of photos of my neice if anyone's interested in trading!"
Ataru shook his finger. "Picture trading is *after* the meeting,
Grandfather Hino. Let's give everyone a chance to see your niece, shall we?"
"Do you have any of her underwear?" Happosai asked from his seat next to
Ataru. To his glee, the elderly priest pulled out a petite pair of nearly
transparent white cotton panties and a matching bra from of his robe.
"Sweeto!"
"I'll give you eight thousand yen for those," Futana offered from her
vantage near the edge of the stage.
"This is hopeless." Ataru bemoaned. "If there's no further business, I'll
go ahead and close the meeting so we can all look at Miss Hino. There's
food in room 208, and after picture trading, we'll be viewing the 'Too
Close to Sister' and 'Legend of the Tentacle Dragon' animes in the green
room and my personal favorite, the Italian classic, 'Rite of Passage' in
the yellow room. Oh, and don't forget those purchase sheets for 'Pajama
Demon', people. I'm counting on you!"
* * *
This is what happens to fic writers after one too many bottles of Kirin
and a few too many cheesy poufs. Watch yourselves people....
Chris
* * *
Chris Jones, brand new for '98 - hamster@arn.net
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