[Camera swings into the Mental Library(tm), and promptly rams itself into
a pile of boxes, cracking the lens. The video only shows sparks but 
the audio is intact except for a growing crackle of static.]

Voice 1: Dammit, why'd we get stuck in the world's tiniest dorm room???

Voice 2: Aw, quit whinin' and help me fix the- what's that noise?

Voice 1: How th' hell should I know? It's coming from the boxes of
dynamite we've been storing- uh oh....

[BIG FREAKIN' EXPLOSION!!!]

[The battered camera comes into a hazy focus as the trio of reviewers pop
up from under the debris. Food, clothing, and a ripped up inflatable Urd
(?!?) are strewn everywhere.]

Cerina: (coughing) That's the *last* time I rent out the closet for
storage!

Tommy: First we get the Bipolar Roommate from Hell, then the school's
computer's crap out on us.... what next???

LilTigre:(ever-cheerful) Fic Review Time!

(the others groan and pull up some boxes as the projector starts...)
On Tue, 13 Jan 1998, Bravoexo wrote:

The Girl
---------

by Bravoexo

A fanfic inspired by the anime Ranma 1/2 created and copyrighted by Rumiko
Takahashi
---------

Cerina: Hey, Ranma 1/2, and no dark tag. Maybe we'll get a laugh out of
today after all, huh?
 

"What are you doing?" Akane was throwing pebbles on the fishpond, and
Ranma didn't understand her boredom.

Tommy: Bored? In Nerima?
LilTigre: When does she even HAVE the time to be bored?
 

"What does it look like?"  Akane threw another stone and it skipped this
time.

Cerina: Polluting the pond?
 

"It looks like you're throwing rocks." Akane grounded her teeth for a
second, Ranma started to chuckle behind her back.  "Ok, so you're bored.
Big deal."  Ranma sat next to her, digging his hands into Akane's rock
collection.  "Oww! What 'ya do that for?"  He felt and rubbed his hands
from the pain of Akane's slap.

LilTigre: Last sentence is kinda awkward...
 

"Get your own stones, BAKA!"  She threw her pebble with great enthusiasm
and it skipped three times before it sank into the murky waters.

Tommy: (holds up a scorecard) I give it a 8.
LilTigre:That much, huh? I give it a 5.
Cerina: I give her a 10. (blinks as they stare at her) Well, you gotta
admit it takes a lot of brainpower-
(The others merely shake their heads and sigh..)
 

Ranma did as he was told.  He piled up the stones just beside Akane's
pile.  They started throwing together.

--------

"What are you two doing?" Nabiki was passing by, hoping to get some
reading time out on the porch, but she knew with those two out there with
her, there wasn't much hope for that anyway.

Cerina: Oh, she'll find a way to make money off of it somehow....
 

"What does it look like?" Ranma picked a stone and threw it.  The rock
sank almost immediately.  He saw Akane grin; she was holding back her
laughter.

"You do realize, Kasumi has a pet fish in there."  Both teens' eyes grew
in apprehension and shock.

All: Uh oh....
 

--------

"What are you two doing?"  Kasumi was about to hang up the laundry when
she noticed Ranma and Akane both wading in the pond.  Nabiki had her book
and was comfortably reading.

LilTigre: Water games!
Tommy: (wading through the mess) Marco!
Cerina: Polo!
Tommy: Marco!!!
(LilTigre whaps them both with a gigantic paw.) 

"Um, we're just..." Akane looked at Ranma, a cry for help in her eyes.

"We're...just fooling around, Kasumi.  It's quite refreshing."  Ranma
finally realized what Akane was looking at. He immediately hid his hands
filled with pebbles behind his back.

Tommy: Ranma, I don't think that was what she was looking at-
Cerina: (whaps him) Baka, he's a she now that he/she's gotten into the
pond... Oh, author person? You may wanna clarify that....
 

"Say, Kasumi.  What ever happened to your pet fish?"  Nabiki smirked
seeing the two's futile attempts to clean up the mess they've made.

LilTigre: I expect to see Nabs grow a tail and horns at some point.
 

"What fish?"  Kasumi looked at the pond; Ranma and Akane were all wet now.
"You two should come out of there now."

"I'm sorry, Kasumi." Akane didn't realize that her dress was wet all over.
So was Ranma.

(Cerina clamps a hand over Tommy's mouth before he can make a remark)
Cerina: Don't even *think* it.
 

"What are you two sorry for?"

"Your pet fish, I think we might have killed it?"

"What?"  Kasumi ran into the house.  Ranma and Akane just looked into one
another.  She was wet, her shirt outlining her body.  He tried to avoid
looking, but she knew Ranma was a pervert.  Or at least about her.

LilTigre: Wouldn't that kinda be a compliment? Y'know, about him even
looking at her?
Tommy: Well, yeah.... besides, it's just a guy's nature to look at pretty
girls.... even if they bash you and ruin your life!
 

"Come on.  Let's get out of this pond and change."  Ranma helped her out
of the pond.  Just then, Kasumi came back carrying a small aquarium.  Both
Ranma and Akane looked stupefied.

"See, Akane.  My pet piranha is still here.  Safe and sound."  Ranma
flinched, did he hear Kasumi right?  Akane saw a flash, and a whirling
sound.  She feared as much.

"Thanks guys.  Never thought I could get the two of you in wet T-shirts at
the same time.  Kuno-baby would pay me big for this one." Nabiki waited
for the Polaroid film to process the picture.  A second later she found
herself drenching wet, and in the pond.  "Eeeeeewwww!  What ya do that
for?!"

Cerina: Told you she'd find a way to get money off this! She'll make a
mint sellin' those pics!
 

"Nice throw, Akane."

"Not bad yourself, Ranma.  She sure can sink."  Both laughed.

All: WOOHOO! Ya'll go, girls!
 

Kasumi held up her aquarium.  "Good thing I got you your own aquarium, Mr.
Piranha." She giggled and disappeared inside the house.

"I'll get you for this!"  Ranma and Akane ran into the house.  "Give me
back my camera!"

Tommy: Yeah, right! Like they enjoy being made up unwillingly into
Playboy-esque photo shoots!
Cerina: That's awfully nice and un-chauvanistic of you to say, Tommy-chan.
Tommy: Besides, they should at least get some of the profit!
(Cerina whaps him in the face.)
 

Kasumi was disappointed.  The three were trailing water all over the
house.  She'd be cleaning all day.  She sighed, "At least my pet fish is
safe."  That's when the sound of glass breaking filled the house.

"Owww!  Get this thing off me!  Get it off!"

"Hold still, Ranma!"

"Ah ha!  My camera!  Now to get a shot."

"Nabiki!"

Kasumi frowned.  "I think I'll go back to goldfishes." She started
mopping.

"NABIKI!!!!

All: (turn to look at each other) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Cerina: Good job!

Tommy: Yeah loved the wet Akane shots- (falters as the girls glare at him)
uh, I mean, the way that Ranma and Akane seemed to strike up a peace
between them....

(The girls grab him up and stuff him into a box full of SPAM.)

Cerina: Now, for the IMPORTANT NEWS.....

(LilTigre yanks back a curtain with her fangs to reveal a hideously
scientific device crowding one end of the room.)

Cerina: How many FFMLers have dreamed of slowly and painfully ripping
Endymion from "Mama's Hand" apart? (winces as the entire FFML shouts) OK,
then... so everyone can get in on the fun, I present the EvilCloner 2000
Auto! It would be selfish for just one group to get their hands on that
slimy ahotare... so we are going to get the original and... CLONE him!
That's right, now everyone can have their very own, genetically identical
replica of King Endymion to slaughter and maim! Draw and quarter him! peel
his skin off before feeding him to a pit of fire ants! Slice him up
millimeter by millimeter! get in on the fun now!

LilTigre: To get in on the offer, just thell that wonderful Doug how much
you love his fic!

Cerina: And as a bonus, get "Washu-chan's Doctor's Kit of Pain" absolutely
FREE-

(The electricity suddenly fails, plunging the room into darkness.)

Cerina: (fading) Oh, poopie......


*snicker* Doug, I wouldn't have wrote this up if I didn't love the fic so
much! Please don't hurt me!

Jess, the LilTigre =^_^=