Update, Apologies, Begging for Help, and Raw Ramblage, read it...
it's good for ya... or you can always ask what a Mst is, or how about
bashing some Ranma fics? I hear idea posts are back in season, and you
never can have enough lists...

        OtakuNXS Presents...

            Stuff!!!

Narration <James Earl Jones, sorry guys, Gary Owens was busy>: It was
the perfect moment, Reality had finally gotten a date with Destiny, and
they were supping bowls of Campbell Menistroni, while infinity spiraled
on. Death had taken a holiday and the Jimmy Stewart anthropomorphication
of all that was real, un-fantastic and really m-mmmm good had taken the
opurtuinity to move in on the hooded one's girlfriend.

<Jimmy Stewart in a resturant, an unseen woman on the other side and
infinity in the background... it's blue by the way, not many people know
that>

Reality: <bites.... a rather soggy bean> So, what do ya want, Mary? You,
you want the moon? Give the word and I'll have that Oscar kid throw a
rope round her... is that what you... <notices his soup doing that funky
T-rex dopler effect> Oh no...

Narrator: A whistle blows once more, carrying with it ten thousand
maniacs and case of Jolt cola, a portal yawns sleepily once more, and
from the train, two figures deboard once more.

Reality: Check please!

Krudd: <steps forward and smiles to the crowded hoard of FFMLers> Hi
guys, it's gweat to be....

Voice: <BAD Romainan accent, strangely reminisent of... sausage> Hoard?
Since vhen have tvo fic vriters and a slighltly rabid volverine hooked
on phonics, ever been considered a hoard?

Krudd: <sighs> I'm afraid the set up is a wee bit much... I'm not even
suwe if Keener fowwowed it. Anyway, hewwo, it is I, Kwudd the hunstman,
chawacter featuwed in mowe posts of waw spammage then your avewage
powk...

<Shadowy Figure with Funky Accent eye's start to glow dangerously>

Krudd: <clears throat, then covers it again hurriedly> Ahem, and in
Keener's stead, we have Count P-chan, star of In the Mouth Of
Wyouganess.

<bizarre sound in the background, it would have stirred the darkest
nether regions of the human brain, causing fear to ooze from every pore
without seeming cause, it would, had the noise not sounded so... well,
stupid... PHONK! PHONK! PHONK!>

Count P-chan: A fic I am quite happy to note that none of you have read.

<PHONK! PHONK! PHONK!>

Krudd: Well, Kun-chan did at weast, now she won't have anything to do
with us.

<PHONK! PHONK! PHONK!>

Count P-chan: <sniffles> To think that the Goddess vould abadony my
poor, tormented soul in my time of greatest...

<PHONK! PHONK! PHONK!>

Count P-chan: VHAT THE !@#$ IS THAT?!?!

Krudd: That Phonking? He's been at it for about two weeks now, it's why
we had to pull you out of his owd fics to do a guest bit... <thinks
about that, thinks about vampire piglets and why pigs that fly are NEVER
seen, not till they strike>... ahem, I mean guest shot.

<Krudd partially closes the portal, the noise fading in the distance>

Krudd: It was that wast teaser he posted. Imagine, a fic wwiter
mispewling Wanma for Goddess sake. So, he's doing the honawable thing.

Count P-chan: Seppuku? <smiles evily, teeth that bleed, instead of gums,
when brushed, glittering> Ironic, don't you think?

Krudd: Well, sowta, he's beating himsewf to death... with a wiffwe bat.

Count P-chan: <sighing> Oh vell, how's it going?

Krudd: Swowly, VEWY, swowly. Still, he is making pwogwess, yestewday, he
fowgot how owd he was.

<phonk. phonk. phonk.>

Count P-chan: So, vhat is our purpose here then?

Krudd: Fiwst, to apowogize for that teaser... sowwy evewyone.

Count P-chan: Really, no ill intent vas meant, though brandishing a fic
as bad as one of his SHOULD be considered a felony.

<phonk. phonk. phonk.>

Krudd: Secondly, due to weason's beyond our contwol, Keener was cut off
fwom his E-mail account for the past coupwe of weeks...

Count P-chan: And there vas MUCH rejoicing.

Krudd: <sighs> But is now back in buisness...

Count P-chan: And there was much gnashing of teeth and overly
enthusiastic consumption of arsenic.

<phonk. phonk. phonk>

Krudd: Pwobwem is, his mail, as he was still connected at the time and
his sewver has no limit on stowed postage, has hit cwitical status.
Wet's just say evewything is nicely buwied beneath witerawy thousands of
posts. We humbaby wequest that anyone who has sent Keener, anything, fic
wequests... <Count P-chan chuckles>

Krudd: C&C... <Count P-chan snickers>

Krudd: pwaise...  <Count P-chan chokes on the snickers bar>

Krudd: or indeed anything that might have been posted to him, pwease
wesend. <Count snorts, having a coke and a smilie... like a Columbian
whose swears his donkey is the one saying Buenos Dias>

Count P-chan: Vhat?!?!

Krudd: I think he was just making suwe evewyone was paying attention.

<phonk. phonk. phoosh.>

<Krudd and Count both look at one another, then turn to portal>

Keener: <sticking his head out, his face vaguely resembles Attila the
Hun's wife after a foam bat therapy session> Mango Liqued Refreshment!!!

Krudd: You okay?

Count P-chan: Please do not let us stop you in your good vork.

Keener: To late, I'm afraid inspiration has struck, right as the bat
didn't. I just had an epiphany.

Krudd: Uwwggh! Doesn't all that water chaff?

Count P-chan: That's an enema Krudd, <underbreath> Not that you can be
too sure, the way the boy spells.

Keener: <smiling manically> Come on guys, we've got work to do <turns to
hoard, the wolverine having lost interest, he speaks to the two fic
writers left, one of whom is trying out the hooked on phonics tape> Good
for you Dr, it'll help, really it will. Fics are acoming FFML, be
warned... oh and I'm still looking for prereaders and some web page
space, if ya got any to spare. I know someone offered, I just can't find
it underneath as this mail, I'd try splashing it with cold water, but I
can't afford the fe.

Count P-chan: Fe?

Kruff: Fe... mail... femail, female... a VEWY bad pun.

Keener: Oh and K-chan? Did you still want the fics? I remember you
requesting something, you still want? And how are you at prereading?

Count P-chan: Obviously not very good, look at vho's fic they are
requesting.

<Krudd sighs, Keener gives Count P-chan a vedgie, Count says he's not
vedgitarian and screen fades to blue... infinity is like that, blue I
mean, not many people know that.>

FFIRC. C&C? It's what we do! That and chat, oh and eat doughnuts with
stuff inside them oh and we also... hmmmm? Oh yeah, sorry.
Revenge's End Mad Bishonen Boy
Caretaker of the Dark and Lonely Place (COR Deaconate)
Krudd (Krillian and Elmer Fudd Amalgalm, don't ask)
The Parrot King
Kaizer Soize
MidnightWriter's Guild Member
Official alt.warlord target

(And the Moon was as blood, the Storms crashed and the Seas BOILED!)
(Typical, thought the Lobsters)
      /
 Oo
(~, )
 V