All right, I can't wait any longer!  I wrote this back in November and
have been waiting for prereaders to get back to me.  No such luck.  So,
here is the first part of my fanfic.  C&C and clean-up comments are
pathetically begged for and appreciated.  

* * *

This is my first adventure into the land of spousal abuse, sexual
assault, and mindless assault and battery of Ranma ½. ^_^ (Which brings
up an interesting twist . . .  But I'll leave that for my second
fanfic.)
	I've only seen a few episodes here and there, but I love the characters
and did a great deal of research before embarking on this effort.  To
forestall any complaints about this fanfic, I happen to like having my
characters co-operate.  So if anyone says, "Hey!  They're not supposed
to do that!", tough.  Live with it.  I live with most of the other Ranma
fics out there.
	Feel free to drop by my homepage which, at present, contains no fanfics
whatsoever, but does contain my assorted ramblings.
[http://www.geocities.com/area51/rampart/3552]
	By the way, Ukkyo isn't in this one because, well, things would have
been too complicated.  Plus I don't care too much for her. *Dodges
flying spatulas*
 	Enjoy!



			*Blue Thunder/ Purple Lightning*


	"SAOTOME RANMA!  I, Upperclassman Kunou, the Blue Thunder of . . . "
	*THWACK!*
	As Kunou Tatewaki reeled backwards from Ranma's upraised foot, he
clutched his nose and mumbled the rest of his line, ". . . Furinken
High, challenge you."  His voice died away as he realigned his nose with
a soft *snap* and glared at his opponent, who was standing in the street
outside the dojo.
	Ranma brushed a hand through his black hair and rolled his eyes. 
"Kunou, why do you still bother trying to. . ."
	"It's Upperclassman Kunou, Saotome!  And until the pig-tailed girl is
free from your evil spells, I will fight for her!"
	Well the practice is something, at least.  Ranma thought, Even though
I'm getting sick of his speeches and this thick head.  "I'll fight you,
Kunou, if that's what you want.  But I should hope that you've given up
on Akane."  He pointed a thumb over his shoulder at his fiancee, who was
just coming out the gate.
	"Ah, the beautiful Akane!  How could I ever give up on such a goddess
of strength and loveliness?  I must give you my permission to date me at
once!"
	Pouring forth poetry, Tatewaki started towards Akane, who looked up,
startled.  "What?  Ranma, what are you doing, you pervert?  I want to
see Kunou even less than I see you!"  With a flourish of her hand, her
mallet appeared from Hammerspace
	Deciding he had made a mistake that could result in another argument
with his tomboy fiancee, Ranma found himself running after Kunou, hoping
to bring the deluded kendo practitioner to a halt.
	Before he could catch up, though, Akane swung her mallet.  "And I don't
need your help, either!" she screeched, landing a solid blow and sending
Kunou spinning into the high wall across the street.
	She scythed the air with a vicious back swing, intending to remove
Kunou's head from his shoulder as he bounced off the stone.  But Ranma
got there first and spun a reverse kick into his senpai's jaw.  Kunou's
eyes glazed over as he wobbled, then folded slowly to sprawl in the
road.
	Akane whirled Ranma around angrily.  "From now on, leave me out of your
stupid fights with Kunou!"
	"Hey, you were the one who got me involved with the idiot in the first
place!" Ranma retorted, "If an uncute tomboy like you can't keep a jerk
like him away, it's not my fault. . ."
	Akane's mallet twitched and grew by a factor of four.  "What did you
say?" she growled, the hammer looming over his head.
	The resulting shadow was large enough that neither she nor Ranma
noticed a second shadow approaching rapidly from above.  Besides, the
two were too busy arguing with each other to pay any attention.
	That is, until a ten-speed bike with a purple-haired girl riding it
tore Akane's mallet out of her grip.
	Shampoo skidded to a halt in a cloud of dust and waved the mallet
around.  "Akane!  Why tomboy girl threaten husband Ranma?"
	Now Akane's fury transferred itself to her rival.  "Because he's
nothing but an uncaring, annoying pervert, Shampoo.  Now give me back my
mallet!"
	The Amazon pedalled back to them and proffered the wooden hammer. "Only
can have if promise not to use on husband Ranma."  Akane scowled and
snatched at her weapon, but Shampoo moved out of reach.  "Promise!"
	Akane heaved a sigh.  "All right.  I promise.".
	"Shampoo grateful." she said, tossing her the mallet.  Then she rested
her arms on the handlebars and glanced at the unconscious Kunou.  "Hah. 
Silly Kunou still not learn.  Never beat Ranma and Akane."  She shrugged
and turned away.  "Where husband and violent girl go for lunch?"
	"What do you care?" Akane snapped.
	"Shampoo worries about husband Ranma.  Way Akane cooks, it lucky Ranma
not dead.  Akane bring him to Nekohanten, ne?  Lunch on house as soon as
Shampoo finish delivery."  She slapped her handles for emphasis.
	Ranma's stomach growled at the thought of eating at the Nekohanten
again.  Kasumi's cooking was unparalleled, but there was always the
threat that Akane would decide to prepare lunch.  "Uh. . . thanks,
Shampoo."
	Akane got in between the two of them, her eyes still smoldering. 
"You've got to be kidding!  She's just going to put some of Cologne's
herbs into our lunch and kidnap you again!  Who knows what she'll do to
me?"
	Shampoo shook her head violently.  "No!  Shampoo swear on Amazon honour
to serve safe food to husband and tomboy Akane.  Shampoo no trick Ranma
today.  And great-grandmother on vacation in China.  Not be back for
weeks."
	Akane stepped closer to her rival, still angry.  "I don't know. . . ."
	"Oh, come on, Akane." Ranma said, flipping casually into a handstand. 
"It's a free meal.  And without Cologne around. . ."
	"Now I have you, Saotome!"
	They had all forgotten about the until-recently unconscious Kunou, who
was now charging with murder in his eyes.  His bokken was raised, ready
to split Ranma from waist to chin.
	And Ranma had been caught flat-footed.  Or rather, flat-handed.  A
dozen evasion techniques flashed through his mind, but only one was put
into action.  He pushed off, up, and over the girls' heads, planning to
jump off a nearby house and leave another footprint on Kunou's
already-bruised features.
	Somewhere between his planning and his landing, someone opened their
bathroom window in that house.
	"Yikes!"
	*SPLASH!*
	Kunou's sword came slashing down not through Saotome Ranma, but
Shampoo's front bicycle tire.  The sudden release of air threw the
Amazon girl off to land hard on her back and tailbone.  Stunned, Shampoo
watched helplessly as Kunou , caught up in his attack, blindly destroyed
her precious delivery bike.
	As she tried vainly to get up and save some part of it, a red blur
landed in front of her.  "Kunou!  I'm over here!"  Ranma had returned,
damp, angry, and female.
	Kunou was still swinging his bokken at the pieces of metal, oblivious
to what he was hitting.  "You're finished, Saotome, you sorcerer! 
Finished!"  Then he blinked, looked around at the bike parts strewn at
his feet, then over his shoulder at the female Ranma.  "Ah, little
pig-tailed girl!  You have been freed from that evil sorcerer Saotome's
spell!" he cried, the pureed bike forgotten.  "And naturally, you wish
to avail yourself of my protection.  Never fear!  I, Kunou Tatewaki, the
Blue Thunder of Furinken High School, will gladly offer my help.  Come
to me now and I will defend you!"
	Then a flying mailbox crushed him.
	Akane dusted off her hands.  "He's a worse pervert than you are,
Ranma." she snorted, "But at lease he's easy to deal with."
	"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma-chan yelled, "Are you saying I'm
difficult?"
	As the two began arguing again, Shampoo crawled unnoticed to her
dismembered bike and covered her face with her hands.  A strange noise
came from her, one that stopped their argument cold.
	"Shampoo?" Ranma asked, cautiously moving closer.  "You okay?"
	Laying her hands in her lap, Shampoo looked up at them.  Tears were on
her cheeks.  "How Shampoo deliver food now?  Shampoo's favourite bicycle
gone."  She picked up a gear lever and shook her head sadly.  "And
Shampoo have no other."  Bowing her head again, she resumed her sobbing.
	Both Akane and Ranma looked at each other.  They had never seen Shampoo
cry about anything like this.  And neither of them was quite sure what
to do about it.  They were more used to attacks and violent words than
comfort and sympathy.
	Awkwardly, Akane went and knelt next to Shampoo.  "You'll have to have
Mousse cancel those orders." she said quietly, "Go back to the
Nekohanten and do that.  Ranma and I will clean this up and be there
soon, all right?"
	Nodding, the Amazon girl silently hunted amongst the wreckage until she
located her order list, then limped off to the restaurant.
	Shaking her head, Akane looked around.  "Find a broom, Ranma.  We'd
better clear this away and get rid of Kunou before he wakes up again."
	Still shocked by the grief on Shampoo's face, Ranma absently nodded and
went broom-hunting.
	Picking up the still-unconscious Kunou, Akane deposited the
self-proclaimed Blue Thunder in a nearby garbage can.  He was just
coming to, muttering "Little pig-tailed girl. . ." when she smacked him
with the lid and banged it on the can tightly.
	Ranma-chan swept most of the debris into the gutter.  "Are we still
going to the Nekohanten?" she asked, "I mean, Shampoo didn't look to
good.  And even though we're supposed to be, you know, adversaries, I'm
still worried about her."  She winced in anticipation of another blow
from Akane's mallet, but none fell.
	Surprised, she looked up to see her fiancee staring back.  "For once, I
have to agree with you." she said, "Shampoo and I may fight and I
definitely don't want her hanging on to you, but still. . . ."  Leaning
down, she picked up Shampoo's delivery basket, which had miraculously
survived Kunou's shredding, and shrugged.  "I can't stand seeing someone
cry like that, either.  Let's go.  But let's find some hot water for
you, first."

	The Nekohanten was empty, unusual for lunchtime.
	Shampoo was sitting at a table in a corner, her head resting in her
hands.  Sitting in front of her was a cup of tea.  Mousse was standing
beside her, a hand on her shoulder.
	Akane leaned close to Ranma.  "She must really be out of it.  Mousse is
still alive." she whispered.
	Mousse looked up and bridled at the sight of the two of them.  "Saotome
Ranma, what are you doing. . . Aacckkk!"
	With a firm grip on his throat, Shampoo hauled him down and said
something in Chinese.
	Mousse straightened up again.  "Never mind." he croaked, "Come on in.:
	As they approached the table, Shampoo glanced up.  "Help yourself." she
said, listlessly waving at the counter.  "Shampoo would serve, but. . .
." she shrugged, trailing off.
	Helped by a surprisingly meek Mousse, Akane and Ranma loaded up their
plates and sat down with Shampoo.
	Akane tentatively reached over and patted her arm.  "Are you okay?" she
asked.
	The Amazon girl nodded.
	"Is there anything we can do?"
	She shook her head.
	Uncomfortable, Akane fell silent and tried to concentrate on her food. 
Ranma, however, had no such problems concentrating.
	Swallowing a mouthful, he looked over at Shampoo.  "Why so upset? 
Can't you just get another bike?"
	Shampoo finished her tea and tossed her cup over her shoulder.  Mousse
caught it in midair and refilled it.  "Shampoo no afford new bike. 
Nekohanten not make enough money.  And Shampoo's pay not able to cover
costs."
	"Well, I suppose I could always go and threaten Kunou for you, although
I seriously doubt he'd listen."  Ranma said, putting his chopsticks down
and leaning back in his seat.
	"Shampoo happy that Ranma offer," she replied, "But Shampoo must
challenge by herself.  It matter of Amazon honour."  Downing her tea,
she sighed heavily.  Then something flickered in her eyes and she looked
up, brightening.  "Right!  Amazon honour!"  From the folds of her
clothes, she produced the laws of her tribe and commenced flipping
pages.
	"Here! ‘If outsider destroys Amazon property, Amazon must challenge
outsider.  If Amazon win fight, outsider must replace property'!"  She
leapt to her feet.  "Stay and finish.  Shampoo have challenge to issue. 
Mousse!  Serve!"
	As she dashed off, Mousse warily sat down, careful not to sit too close
to Ranma.  "I hope she doesn't lose to him.  I have enough trouble with
you, Saotome."
	Ranma scowled.  "Hey!  I didn't ask to be your rival.  I wasn't trying
to beat her last time, I was just. . ."  His words stuck in his throat,
unable to say that he had been defending Akane from Shampoo's attack.
	Mousse took off his glasses and began polishing them.  "It doesn't
matter now.  Shampoo is about to have a hard fight if Kunou does accept
her challenge.  What would you say to putting aside out own quarrel and,
together, help her train for the task ahead?"
	Ranma crossed his arms.  "Why?  If she loses, that means I'm no longer
engaged to her.  And you'll have a better chance at defeating Kunou than
me."
	Thoughtfully, Mousse laid his glasses on the table.  "You know, you may
be right.  Perhaps we should. . . QUACK!"
	Akane ducked and rolled under the barrage of throwing knives that flew
from Muu-chan's wings, still holding onto the bucket.  "How can you
consider doing that to Shampoo?  You would let her lose to Kunou like
that?"
	Muu-chan darted behind the counter and vanished from sight for a few
seconds.  Then he rose up in human form once again, minus his glasses. 
"There's always a hot water bottle or two back here, now." he announced
to an upturned bar stool.  "Saotome, do we fight, or do we work
together?"
	"Uh, Mousse?  I'm over here."  With a struggling Akane in a headlock,
he tossed Mousse his glasses.  "And, yeah, let's talk."

	Kunou Tatewaki, meanwhile, was finishing his dinner.
	"Well done, Sasuke!  The swan was wonderful, the rice seasoned with
style and elegance, the vegetables incomparable.  We will make a master
chef out of you, yet."  Hopefully to fully replace my sister and her
deadly idea of "spices". he thought, suppressing a shudder.  "Now, clear
this away!"
	As his ninja leapt to obey, a hissing sound filled the air, followed by
a *thunk*.
	"Message for you, Master Kunou." reported Sasuke, dangling from the far
wall, where an arrow had pinned his shoulder.  With his free hand, he
removed the paper wrapped around the shaft and tossed it to his master.
	Kunou's eyes narrowed as he saw the word "CHALLENGE" on the outside. 
Ignoring Sasuke's attempts to free himself, he unrolled the scroll.
	"So, one dares challenge me, Kunou Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of
Furinken High School!"  Outside, the sky darkened dramatically as a
lightning flash illuminated the grounds, followed by an ominous roll of
thunder.  Leaping to his feet, he struck a pose.  "I accept this
challenge. . ."  Groping for the name, he looked down at the scroll
again.  ". . . Shampoo.  I will meet you at. . . Jusenkyou and defend
the honour of the Kunou family!"
	Striding to his room, he picked out one of his most poetic of challenge
reply scrolls and returned to the dining room. Sasuke, who had managed
to snap the arrow and pull the shaft out of his shoulder, was in a heap
on the floor.  "Sasuke!  Pick yourself up and take this reply back to
her."  Reaching down, he hauled the injured ninja (Say that three times
fast with sake in your mouth) to his feet, then blinked at the blood on
his fingertips.  "And perhaps you should stop at the doctor's on your
way back."

	Over at the Tendo Dojo, a figure landed lightly on the roof. 
Hesitating in the late moonlight, it heard sounds coming from the
kitchen down below.  With a twist and a flip off the shingles, it landed
noiselessly on the front porch.
	Kasumi had been sweeping the kitchen floor and had just put the broom
away when a knock came on the front door.  Closing the cupboard, she
glanced curiously over her shoulder at the clock.  After ten.
	How unusual for someone to visit this late.  I hope it's nothing
serious. she thought, moving to answer the door.  "Yes?  Oh, my! 
Shampoo, is something wrong?"
	"Nihao.  Violent girl Akane still awake?"
	"I believe she is.  Why?"
	"Shampoo need to talk.  Akane know more about silly boy Kunou than
Shampoo.  She meet on roof."  The Amazon girl bunched, then sprang
upwards to vanish into the night.
	Kasumi was surprised, but nevertheless went to see if her sister was
indeed up.
	She found her younger sister in her room, playing with P-chan.  "Akane,
dear.  Shampoo's outside.  She said that she wanted to talk to you."
	"Bweee?"  P-chan's eyes grew wide at Kasumi's announcement.
	Akane, against all of Kasumi's expectations, didn't react angrily. 
"Did she say what she wanted to talk about?"
	"BWEEE?" P-chan's eyes got even wider.  He must have felt the same way.
	"She mentioned something about Kunou, I think.  You'll find her on the
roof."
	Akane got to her feet and headed for the window, but stopped at a tug
on her ankle.  She looked down to see P-chan holding onto her leg,
shaking his tiny head.  "Bwee!  Bwee!"
	Smiling, Akane picked him up and cradled him.  "Aw.  Are you worried
about me, little P-chan?  I'll be okay.  For once, Shampoo's not after
me or Ranma."  She looked up at her sister.  "Thanks, Kasumi.  I'll be
back in soon."  Putting P-chan down, she opened the window and climbed
out.
	Shampoo glanced up at her rival as she appeared on the roof.  "Ah,
Shampoo thank for coming."
	"You're not after Ranma at the moment, Shampoo, so I'll help you, but
don't bet on it lasting forever." Akane warned.
	"Shampoo understand."  She sat down and wrapped her arms around her
legs.  "Kunou accept challenge.  We fight week from now.  At Jusenkyou."
	"Jusenkyou??  Shampoo, why did you challenge him there?  That's where
you and Ranma got cursed."
	She shrugged.  "Shampoo know battlefield.  And won't hurt for Kunou to
get wet.  Maybe it teach him lesson."
	Akane couldn't help it.  She laughed.  "Hey, maybe one of you could get
uncursed at the same time."  Then she frowned.  "Wait, no way am I
letting you take Ranma off by yourself!"
	"Shampoo not asking that.  Violent Akane know Kunou and his technique
better than Shampoo.  Want Akane to help Shampoo train for fight."  She
heaved a sigh.  "It good great-grandmother not here.  She not like it
that silly Kunou beat Shampoo.  Even if it by accident."
	"Beat?" Akane echoed, "He wasn't even after you."
	"But Shampoo still lose honour by falling and not taking proper
revenge.  Ranma beat Kunou before she could.  Now Shampoo must beat
Kunou by self.  Akane, you help?"
	Akane considered her answer.  Did she really want to help her rival?  A
girl who had tried to kill her before and would certainly try again?
	Then the Amazon went one step further.  "If Akane agree, Shampoo do
best to find Nannichuan for husband Ranma."
	No more annoying Ranma by knocking him into the carp pond.  No more
chastising him with cold water.  And, most importantly, no more
"pig-tailed girl" for Kunou to chase.  Which meant that he'd concentrate
solely on her.  Akane suppressed a shudder of dread.
	"I'll help, Shampoo."  Then she remembered Mousse and Ranma talking. 
The two of them had agreed to let Ranma train Kunou in the hopes that
the kendo club leader would solve both their problems.  And Ranma had
been gloating over it the whole evening.  Time to burst his bubble. 
"Don't worry about the Nannichuan.  Ranma's decided to accept his girl
form for now.  He doesn't even want to talk about being cured right
now."  That'll teach him.  Of course, if he changes his mind and gives
up on this stupid plan, I'll see that he gets the water.  And the day
that I betray him to anyone is the day I have lunch with Kodachi.  "Did
you ask Ranma for help?"
	Shampoo laughed softly.  "Oh, Shampoo know husband help out of love for
her.  No need to ask him."
	"Uh. . . sure, Shampoo."
	The Amazon girl got up.  "Must go now.  You come by Nekohanten tomorrow
and train with Shampoo, ne?"  Before Akane could reconsider, she bounced
off the roof and into the darkness.
	Heaving a sigh of her own, Akane slid down to her window and climbed
back in.    She would need her sleep tonight.  "P-chan?  Now, where'd
you get to, baby?"
	Up on the roof, Ryouga slammed one fist into the other and growled
softly.  He had gotten away from Kasumi outside the bathroom, but had
gotten lost looking for the way to the roof.  He had made it up in time
to understand the nature of the conversation, though.  If Akane was
going to help Shampoo, he would do his best to help Akane.

	Kodachi frowned over Shampoo's challenge letter, then looked up at her
brother.  "You realize, of course, brother, that I shall do all in my
power to help you."
	"Wretched sister, I will face this Amazon fairly in combat.  None of
your tricks prior to our duel, please."
	"You wound me, dear brother.  I have no intention of injuring her.  But
I have studied her.  We must learn all we can."
	"There is another who has agreed to help us.  That vile sorcerer,
Saotome Ranma, has offered his. . . assistance in this matter.  He
claims to have defeated the Amazon and can teach me what I must know.  I
pray that is all he wishes to do."
	"By all means, Oneechan, accept his offer.  Any knowledge is valuable
when in the right hands.  And Ranma-sama is indeed a knowledgeable
martial artist."
	"True.  But he seems to be much more than that."
	"Just pay attention to what he teaches you.  Sasuke, come here!"
	The ninja flashed in from outside.  "Yes, Mistress?"
	"Tell Ranma-sama that we accept his help.  He will come here tomorrow
morning to begin training my brother."
	  "I understand."

	A calm had descended on Nerima.  With the majority of the martial
artists busy training and plotting, there was no time for feuding. 
Granted, when Ryouga (as P-chan) discovered of Ranma's plot to aid
Kunou, he did try to storm the Kunou Estate where they were training. 
However, he got lost and found himself at Jusenkyou considerably earlier
than the others.
	By mutual consent, Dr. Tofu had been chosen to referee the fight. 
Kunou had originally suggested Akane, but she had refused, emphasizing
her refusal with a foot up Kunou's sinuses.  Dr. Tofu had been settled
on, Akane and Shampoo both agreeing to do their best to keep Kasumi away
from him.  And so, with the duel two days distant, the various players
began making their way to the Cursed Training Grounds.  Some were
confident, others were frustrated, but all were ready.