THE POCKET DIMENSION THEATRE
(The camera zooms in on Ash, who is sitting in the middle of the
theatre.)
Ash:Hi. Seeing as I have a few minutes before I start the MST, I might
as well give a few announcements.
One; in my last MST, Mr. Peter Jones made a few commnets that some might
find unusual. The truth is, he had recently escaped from being locked in
a room with several depressives. After giving him a nice cup of tea, he
is doing much better now, thank you. Also, I have written some narration
that might be considered drek.
Two; Evangelion D is on hold for now, in its place I offer Yusha
Bengosha Evangelion. A story with heroes, villains, cute girls and
posturing mecha.
Ash:(looks at watch) well, my co-reviewers should be back any second
now.
(A dimension door opens, unceremoniously dropping Mason and Miyuki onto
the floor.)
Ash: How was the trip?
Miyuki: We got sideswiped by Alphonse.
Ash:I see. let's start the MST.
(Mason takes his seat. Miyuki glowers at him, so he picks her up and
sets her into her seat.)
Miyuki: what's on today? 

Final Fantasy VII
Property of Squaresoft
Characters and situations used without permission.

Mason: Sugoi!
(Snip)

All comments, criticisms, and MSTs welcome and encouraged. Flames
will be repelled with a Fire Ring.

Ash: Here you go, Lurker.

-based on Final Fantasy VII by Squaresoft-

   o n g o i n g   -7-   f a n t a s y

                    by Nanaki

        Prologue

        "I said GET BACK HERE! Little punk!"
        "Fuck you!"
        "Why you little--! GET HIM!!!"
        "Kiss my ass! You couldn't catch a cold, Wedge!" The stocky,
dark-skinned teen gave a single-fingered salute to his two pursuers
as he leapt over a large piece of twisted scrap metal. He grinned and
leapt for a fire escape ladder hanging from the side of a building.
The two soldiers pursuing him wore dark green uniforms with an
insignia patch depicting what looked like a  flat, narrow top falling
out of its spin. But the uniforms weren't what Wilson was worried
about.

Mason: Huh? what's this?
Ash: I think this takes places after the game.
Miyuki: you've read this already, haven't you?
Ash: just a little. 

       He was more concerned with the tazer rifles they carried. "Come >down here, Wilson. Don't make us use these," the one whose nametag read
"Biggs" said.

Mason: What is this, Star Wars?
Ash: no. haven't you played this game yet?
Mason: ano... I'm still stuck on FF7.

       "The _hell_ I'm comin' down there, sucker!" Wilson said, waving the
massive iron hammer he held in one hand. "An' if I _do_, y'all can
kiss _THIS_!"

Miyuki:Ooo, that's gonna leave a mark.
(snip)        

        Just then, the ladder he held onto creaked, and the old iron, not
able to deal with the stress of the massive teenager holding onto it
and the added strain of the electrical overload, gave a loud groan of
protest before tearing away from the supports. "Huh? What the--!? Oh,
_SHIIIIIIIIT_!" Wilson yelled as he fell from the fire escape. He
braced himself for the landing, and found himself face-to-face with
Biggs, Wedge, and their tazers. "God dammit," he said.
        "Just come along quietly now, Wilson," Biggs advised.
        "Bull_shit_," Wilson said, raising his hammer. The two uniforms
began charging their tazers, but didn't get a chance to use them. A
bright green glow, surrounded by a softer blue glow, shone from the
shaft of Wilson's hammer as he pounded the ground before him with it.
The iron struck the concrete with a loud *clang*. The ground began to
shake, and the two troops were knocked off their feet.
        "What the--?" Wedge shouted.
        Wilson grinned. "Don't count a man beat if ya don't know what kinda
Materia he got," he jeered, before leaping over the two uniforms and
making a break for it.

Ash:Not bad at all.
Mason: Is this 'materia' anything like 'magicite'?
Ash: close enough.
Mason: oookay.

        He didn't get very far, however. He made it as far as the entrance
to the alleyway when a massive arm appeared out of nowhere. He
slammed head-first into the solidly muscled appendage, and went down
for the count.
        "Goddamn smartass punk kid," a gruff voice boomed. The owner of the
arm scooped up Wilson and slung him over one massive shoulder. "You
always gotta be makin' trouble, dontcha?" He looked down the alley.
"HEY! You two! Git yo asses up off the ground! You alright?"
        The two uniforms groggily stood, and immediately snapped to
attention when they saw the mountain of a man standing in the mouth
of the alley. "Yes, sir, Governor!"

Miyuki: -That's- a governor?

        "Dammit, you jes' as lazy as Shinra troops, always sleepin' on the
job..." At the expressions of shame on their faces, he laughed. "I'm
jes' playin with ya. I know the little smartass gotcha with a Earth
materia." He looked at the youth slung over his shoulder. "You fellas
go on back wherever you was. I'll take care of this one." The two
troops nodded, and made their way back to their duty station.
        "I swear, I don't know what th' hell I'm gonna do with you, kid,"
the huge man said as he walked out of the alley. Wilson groaned, and
began to stir. "Ugh...what the hell hit me?" he said as he came to.
        "Bout damn time you woke up," the larger man said, dumping him
unceremoniously on the ground. The teenager cursed and sat up,
rubbing his head.
        "Shit...Granddad," he said, glaring at the larger man.

Mason: LOL

        Wilson's grandfather reached up and scratched his coarse grey beard
with his left hand. "Dammit, Wilson! What the hell was you thinkin'?"
        "None of your damn business, old man," Wilson said, scowling. The
older man raised his right arm...which had no hand. Rather, from the
elbow down, the arm was a gleaming, multibarreled gun cylinder. The
grafted gun-arm clicked, and began rotating, firing dozens of rubber
bullets at Wilson. "Ow! Those hurt, dammit!"

Ash: that;s Barret, or as I like to call him, Barreta.
Miyuki:(giggle)
(Still another snip)

chase, a ringing sounded from the pocket of his trousers. He cursed,
and pulled out his PHS. "Yeah?"
        //Barret, are you very busy?// the voice on the phone asked.
        "Nah...jes' havin' another problem with that worthless grandson of
mine," Barret said. "What's up?"
        //We're having a Council meeting...at the observatory.//

Ash: so the plot begins to kick in.

        "All the way out there? Shit! What's goin' on?"
        //Nothing...we hope. We just need to check up on something.//
        "Alright, alright. Gimme a couple hours, the buggy's gettin' a
tune-up."
        //No rush. See you at Cosmo.//

Miyuki: It must be something big if he has to that far.

        Barret switched off the PHS, and shoved it back in his pocket. "Now
what the hell's goin' on at Cosmo?" he wondered. "It better not be
some bullshit...men my age can't be runnin' around like Chocobos with
they heads cut off."

Mason: snicker.
Ash: Interesting place to cut off, but whatever you've got planned,
it'll be a doozy. Continue this.
Miyuki: I'm shocked. there were no typos or grammar mistakes in this.
Mason: Maybe I should play the game.
Ash,Miyuki: maybe you should.

(fade as the three leave theatre.)