Eric: Hi its time for yet another one of my amazing reviews.
Sarah: Admit it they're my reviews... no one cares about you..
Dim: its all about depressing old me, face it.
Cubicle: I -
Eric, Sarah, Dim: SHUT UP! *Sarah powerblasts Cubicle and Dim rains on
it*
-----Original Message-----
From: Philip C. Mak <pmak@cs.dal.ca>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com <fanfic@fanfic.com>
Date: Monday, January 05, 1998 11:13 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Repost][Fanfic][Lemon][Ranma] Ukyou and Shampoo get
down on Ranma (part 1)
Sarah: woohoo we've never done a lemon before...
Eric: yes and you just had use that wording, i just want to add that no
i've never done a lemon before.
Sarah: i dunno your ex girlfriend was always kinda bitter about things.
Eric: .... ummm.... also helping us out today is an idea stolen directly
from Kids in the Hall. (two people, each dressed entirely in a red or
blue outfit, walk out and assume positions behind Sarah (red) and Eric
(blue)) These are the hormones and well measure our reaction to the
lemon story.
Ukyou and Shampoo get down on Ranma
===================================
Eric: a charming tale set in the 70's where Ukyou and Shampoo form a
dance group and boogie all night.
Sarah: Later the trio go on Disco Fever and win first place.
*red and blue seem to wilt a little*
Shampoo had Ranma cornered against the wall of the bathroom. She had
picked the right moment to strike, when there was no one else in the
Tendo
Dojo. Genma and Soun were out drinking beer, Kasumi was out shopping,
Nabiki was out extorting money from someone, and Akane was over at a
friend's house.
Sarah: its always on the bathroom.
Eric: always?
Sarah: *shrug*
Shampoo turned her back to Ranma briefly, as she undid the buttons on
her
Chinese clothing. She turned back to face Ranma as she let her
*blue starts to bounce a little*
clothing
fall to the floor, leaving her completely naked. She smiled at Ranma,
purring seductively.
*blue bounces erratically*
"What are you doing, Shampoo?! Put your clothes back on; I told you I'm
not interested!", exclaimed Ranma. Even in his agitated state, he
noticed
just how desirable Shampoo's body looked. Shampoo's breasts were well
sized, somewhat bigger than those of his girl form. Her luscious
Eric: they are not, Shampoo maybe slightly more curved but i would say
that Ranma-chan is the bustiest one of the group.
Sarah: *yawns* what? yeah sure whatever.
curves
accentuated her abdomen sexily, running off into a pair of well rounded
hips and shapely legs. Her shaved cunt glistened slightly in the light
in
Eric: and why are they always shaved?
Sarah: yeah always shaved, i tell you always shaved. I mean c'mon...
Eric: i dont think i've ever known anyone whose ever shaved.
*red seems to wilt more and blue stops bouncing as much*
anticipation of what was to come. Ranma started sweating as he could
feel
his own manhood being aroused by the sight in front of him.
Sarah: sooo she has a cunt and he has a manhood?
*red sits on the floor, twiddling thumbs*
"Stop stupid talking Ranma! Ahh... what you can do with body like
this?"
*blue immediately perks up and starts bouncing in anticipation*
Eric: several thoughts have always come to mind since she said that in
the manga.
Sarah: pervert.
*red is now playing parchesi*
asked Shampoo, as she unhooked the shower head from the wall and turned
on
the cold water. The spray of cold water ran over her luscious curves,
dripping onto the floor. Her transformation took place, leaving a cute
white cat with pink paws in her pile of clothing on the floor.
Sarah: what pile? she was wearing one piece of clothing.
*blue screeches in horror and falls to the floor mostly dead*
*transformation sequence snipped*
red and blue are now playing a game of chess*
*fight scene snipped in anticipation of lemon scenes*
Ranma-nekoken landed on the floor on top of Shampoo,
Eric: so in other words he landed on Shampoo.
*blue looks interested then loses it*
jumping backwards off of
her. He hissed and slashed at her with his hand hitting her right
between the
legs, his fingernails digging into her pussy lips and drawing a thin
line of
blood. Shampoo yowled in pain at the blow. She stumbled backwards and
got to
Sarah: uh huh... well.... you know blood often drives cats into an
eating frenzy.
her feet, a drop of blood from her torn petals trickling down her leg.
The
pain from the scratch aroused her pussy glands, as her love juices
began to
flow.
*red seems to have taken on a curious aspect*
Sarah: love juices? is this a technical term?
Eric: and what exactly are love juices doing flowing?
Sarah: what dont you watch that anime you put in the darkened corner of
the video cabinet?
Ranma hunched his back at Shampoo, hissing threateningly.
"Mrrroooow!!!"
Shampoo backed away from him a bit, the fear evident in her eyes.
Suddenly,
he stopped and relaxed his stance a bit, sniffing the air. "Meow??" He
*red and blue cringe in expectation*
sniffed the air again, then padded up to Shampoo. He sniffed the petals
of
her sex for a moment, then started licking her.
*red seems to be bouncing with some excitement*
Sarah: well... yes all cats are attracted to blood.
Shampoo moaned in ecstasy, the pain of her earlier wound slowly fading
as
Ranma gently licked around her nether regions. She lay down on the
ground,
Eric: well pain is soooo close to pleasure.
Sarah: * a strange emerald glow slowly engulfing her* hmmm?
*red seems quite agitated*
spreading her legs invitingly for him to continue. *Aiya. That herbal
tea I
drank really did work...oooohhh...oooooohhhh...Ranma... wo de airen!...
Husband won't be able to resist the scent of my love juices.*
*blue doesnt seem to interested in whats going on*
Eric: yeah sure, most self respecting women think on terms of love
juices.
*red bounces off a wall*
Sarah: whatever.
As Ranma tasted more of Shampoo's love juices, he started licking
faster
in an effort to lap up more of the tasty fluid. Soon he was licking in
a
frenzy, his tongue going at the speed of the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken.
Eric: must combine martial arts with fic somehow... rule #1 special
moves can also been done as sexual acts thus heightening the sexual
experience.
*blue looks bored and plays solataire*
Sarah: mmm....hmmmm.
*red is now bouncing up and down and hitting the cieling*
"Aaahhh...Ranma... wo ai ni!" screamed Shampoo as she came forcefully,
her love juices flowing freely out of her cunt. Ranma wasted no time in
Eric: Wait a second i thought they were flowing freely in the first
place.
lapping it all up with a loud slurping sound, then eagerly pressed his
*red seems to grow less agitated*
Sarah: he's not paying attention to what he should be... chastise him
Shampoo. *arcs of green energy shoot off her*
mouth further into Shampoo's love hole, licking around the insides of
it.
Eric: nothing like getting the nose a little wet.
*blue seems really bored with the proceedings*
Shampoo moaned loudly at the intense feelings of pleasure wracking her
body. She cried out "Wo da airen!" as Ranma's nose brushed her
clitoris.
*red stops moving*
Sarah: wait a second.... she's been getting off from him licking the
INSIDES of her uhhh love tunnel and he only BRUSHED her clitoris/
Eric: yep... apparently someone believes in the myth of vaginal orgasm.
Sarah: *green glow around her body disappears* really? but that myth
was dispelled during Soc110.
Eric: not everyone had the pleasure of watching THAT class.
Shampoo found that the suction was starting to become too much for her
as
she orgasmed twice in succession again, with Ranma-nekoken showing no
signs of slowing down.
*red perks up*
Sarah: reason #1 its great to be a girl: multiple orgasms
"Aaaahh....oooohhh...Ranma...aaahhhh... you no lick Sham...aaahh....poo
so fast?..oooohhh," moaned Shampoo as she tried to push Ranma away from
her with her legs to no avail, as they were weak from the three orgasms
she had had already.
*red bounces around*
Sarah: i suppose.... crushing him as is wont to happen at times is out
of the question
Eric: i dunno .... those legs... ummm...
---
Ukyou looked around the grounds of the Tendo Dojo for anyone. She was
wearing
her normal okonomiyaki outfit, a shirt and black tights. Her large
combat
*blue perks up*
Eric: btw those are leggings damnit. LEGGINGS never tights LEGGINGS....
LEGGINGS. I've screamed about this a million times....
Sarah: but aside from that isnt there something else you want to add?
Eric: oh yeah... Mmmmm.... Ukyou..
*blue looks agitated*
spatula and bandolier were strapped on her back as usual, and she was
carrying an okonomiyaki delivery box in one hand.
Eric: i never knew she "delivered"
*blue bounces slightly*
*red looks bored*
Ukyou was looking to ask Ranma out on a date and was trying to find
him. She
knocked on the front door, but there was no reply. After a few moments,
she
decided to try the doorknob. It was unlocked so she opened the door and
went
in, closing it behind her. *Maybe Ranchan is upstairs...*
Sarah: thoughts of breaking and entering soon forgotten.
Eric: whatever...its Ukyou.
*blue bounces for emphasis*
As Ukyou took off her shoes at the entryway, she suddenly heard a
high-pitched voice moaning "Wo da airen! Aaaahh....oooohhh...Ranma...
aaahhhh...you no lick Sham... aaahh... poo so fast?..oooohhh," and a
loud
slurping coming from the bathroom. A hundred possibilities flashed
through
Ukyou's mind, none of them good. *That sounded like Shampoo! She better
not be trying to seduce my Ranma!*
Eric: a hundred? She really had a hundred.
Sarah: boy she must be dumb.
Ukyou rushed over to the bathroom, setting her okonomiyaki on the floor
and
drawing her combat spatula. She threw the door open, paying no
attention to
the "Knock First!" sign and rushed in. She froze in surprise at what
she saw.
Shampoo was completely naked, lying on the floor spread-eagle. Ranma
was on
all fours, licking Shampoo's cunt like there was no tomorrow. The sweet
aroma
*red bounces up and down*
Sarah: and exactly what does the analogy there was no tomorrow mean
anyways? how does it apply in this case?
Eric: perhaps he wants to suck up all the "love juices" before the world
comes to an end.
of Shampoo's love juices hung in the room, causing Ukyou's love petals
to
stir a bit in arousal.
Eric: hummm Ukyou..
*blue looks slightly less then amused*
sarah: Ukyou showing some signs of lesbianism is she?
Ukyou recovered from her initial surprise and stalked over to Shampoo.
"Just WHAT the heck are you doing with my Ranchan, Shampoo?!" She
scooped
Sarah: you'd think the answer would be obvious.
Eric: anyways.
up Shampoo with her spatula and flipped her off of Ranma-nekoken in one
swift motion, sending Shampoo sprawling to the ground.
Eric: just like a pancake.
*blue and red look slightly bored*
Shampoo sighed in relief, as the too-intense suction on her love tunnel
Eric: hummm...
Sarah: ummm.... Ranma the human vacuum cleaner?
ceased. Then she remembered just why Ranma stopped licking her and
stood
up angrily, her legs shaking slightly from her earlier multiple
orgasms.
"You! Pervert spatula girl! You go away, we having fun!"
Sarah: and then some.
*red bounces around a little, not much*
"It was bad enough with you glomping onto Ranma all the time, but now
this!"
shouted Ukyou. She then turned towards Ranma-nekoken, who was now
sitting on
the floor and licking his paws, looking on confusedly at the exchange
going
on before him. Ukyou realized Shampoo must have gotten Ranma into
nekoken
mode to take advantage of him. She changed her expression and said in a
sweet
voice, "Here kitty kitty, wouldn't you rather have my body than that
Chinese
hussy's?"
Sarah: tales of an okonomiyaki slut...
Eric: hey... no bad mouthing Ukyou.
"Ranma mine, not yours pervert spatula girl. You obstacle, and that is
for
killing!" Shampoo charged at Ukyou, grappling her and knocking her
Sarah: an original sentiment expressed by shampoo.
*snipped large fight scene where clothes are torn off, Ukyou is revealed
to be shaven (of course) and two women try pretty hard to hurt each
other sexually thus revealing a hint of lesbianism)*
Shampoo grinned evilly as she realized what Ranma-nekoken was about to
do. *I
think I'll let Ukyou have what she wants. Too bad she's probably not
ready
for this.* Shampoo released her hands from Ukyou's body, and grabbed
Ranma-nekoken's pants, pulling them down as he was about to thrust into
Ukyou.
Sarah: humm now why is she pulling down his pants... in fact why is she
sharing.
Eric: ooooo Ukyou.... COINCIDENTALLY ITS LEGGINGS!!!!
*blue bounces in eager anticipation*
Ukyou blushed as she realized what Ranma was going to do to her. After
all
this time of just being his friend, giving him free meals, cheering him
up
when he was down, it was finally starting to pay off. Ranma would show
his
love to her---her reverie was abruptly cut off as Ranma arched his back
and
Sarah: she has some screwed up conceptions of loved if you asked me.
*blue starts to throttle red*
Eric: whatever... (eyes looked glazed over)
thrust into her HARD all the way up to his hilt, savagely tearing past
her
virgin barriers with an audible ripping sound, causing a few drops of
blood
to trickle down her petals onto the floor.
Sarah: you'd think her "virgin barriers" would've been broken during the
fight with shampoo.
Eric: a few drops?! sheez...
*blue stops moving*
Ukyou cried out in pain at the sudden penetration of her sex. She
didn't have
time to recover though, as Ranma pulled out of her love tunnel then
thrust in
hard again. He pulled his member out, then thrust into her hard a few
more
times, Ukyou crying out in pain with each thrust.
Eric: well at least she's more a virgin then shampoo...
*blue doesnt look all that interested*
Ranma-nekoken yowled in frustration, as he seemed to be unable to bring
himself to orgasm. He started thrusting harder and faster in an effort
to
gain release. Shampoo grinned evilly, her hand touching Ranma's shiatsu
impotence spot. *If Ranma doesn't come, he won't stop.*
Sarah: and this is bad why?
*red bounces*
Meanwhile Ukyou was struggling to get back up. She finally succeeded in
disengaging herself from Ranma's grip. She whirled on Shampoo angrily.
"Why
you little hussy!" Ukyou launched an uppercut at Shampoo, which
happened to
connect between her legs. She found something web and warm close around
her
Eric: of course.
Sarha: yes by pure accident i'm sure.
entire hand, and then heard high-pitched shriek of pain coming from
Shampoo.
Ukyou looked up and noticed she had literally punched herself into
Shampoo's
love tunnel.
Eric and Sarah: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkay.
Shampoo lay on the ground, with Ukyou's arm protruding from between her
legs.
Blood trickled down Ukyou's wrist from inside Shampoo's sex. Shampoo
had been
knocked unconscious from the pain. Ranma finally came as Shampoo's hand
released his shiatsu impotence spot, his erect member spurting cum all
over
Ukyou's breasts.
Sarah: well at least they're practicing safe sex...
Eric: the pull out method? you call that safe sex...
Sarah: *shrugs* it works for me.
*red and blue seem to have lost their senses in a game of monopoly*
*snipped really long sex scene where not much happens but Ranma becomes
a human vacuum cleaner*
"I...I had no idea!" exclaimed Ranma-chan. "All this time you guys were
lesbians?"
Sarah: oh yes isnt it obvious.
Both Ukyou and Shampoo facefaulted. They looked at each other for a
second,
and then they both grinned sinisterly at each other. "Yep, we're
lesbians,"
announced Ukyou, as she and Shampoo both tackled Ranma-chan. Shampoo
latched
onto Ranma-chan's cunt and started licking, while Ukyou pulled
Ranma-chan
close and gave her a long passionate kiss.
Eric: ohhhh boy.... i feel a nother snip coming on.
Ranma-chan tensed up at first, but then relaxed and put her arms around
Ukyou, returning the kiss. She finally realized that Ukyou and Shampoo
were
the only ones for her; they were devoted to her, always there when she
needed
them. They were the most beautiful, cute, kind and caring girls she had
ever
known. Unlike Akane, they both could cook very well and did not beat
her day
in and day out. Unlike Kodachi, they were sane and did not have that
annoying
scary laugh. And most importantly, they both loved her very much, as
she
loved them. Ranma-chan moaned in pleasure into Ukyou's mouth and
embraced
Ukyou lovingly, her hands roaming over Ukyou's breasts as she deepened
the
kiss, while Shampoo made her feel pleasure like she had never felt
before
through her ministrations on her love tunnel...
Eric: again with the love tunnel thing.
Sarah: and sane?! Sane?
*snip*
FYI, I am taking a relaxed viewpoint of sex used in some lemons, the
viewpoint that sex is something good friends may choose to do with each
other, with no change of STDs or unwanted pregnancy. Kind of like the
Marital
Arts lemon is. Unwanted pregnancy would complicate the fic too much and
detract away from the lemon flavour.
Eric: or the honey scented love juices?
For those of you people who think Ranma should end up with
Ukyou/Shampoo, or
Akane should end up with Ryouga, eat your heart out. I'm making sure
this
will happen here. :) I couldn't choose between Ukyou or Shampoo for
Ranma,
and IMO there aren't any other good main characters to pair one of them
up
with (Shampoo/Mousse kinda sucks I think) so I thought what the
heck...he
would have them both!! :) If Ranma had a twin sister Ranko I'd pair her
up
with Ukyou but that's not the case here.
Sarah: humm well still monogamy has its words.
Eric: and arent you generous "giving" ranma to the two of them.
I probably won't write it up to the point of marriage, but there will
be sex,
and lots of it. This fic may turn out to be a short series. :)
Eric: perhaps you might take a gander at not having Ranma like "the love
tunnel"
Sarah: and concentrate a bit more on what actually tends to give women
orgasms.
Again please send C&C even if all you have to say is that you really
liked it
(although more detailed C&C/MSTs are nice :). I'm not going to continue
this
fic just for myself to read if I don't get any C&C, so...
My e-mail address is pmak@cs.dal.ca (Philip Mak).
(Note: This is a repost. I am reposting it because I got very little in
the way of C&C the first time I posted this. So please, give me some
C&C
and/or MSTs people. :)
Eric: okay heres the thing... its almsot a stereotype of an orgy frenzy.
True its a lemon and any depth of story should be moot, its like
watching porn.
Sarah: and you've watched tons of that right Eric?
Eric: regardless. how is yours supposed to stand out? Well for one
thing its at points DISGUSTING. I mean the whole fisting bit with Ukyou
and Shampoo cripes boy.
Sarah: also I'm curious to know if you realize that women cant actually
get orgasms from their vagina, its actually the clitoris.
Eric: Umm i'm not touting some sort of sexual expertise over here or
something but from what i've learned from some friends all women and
what we learned in SOC110 Human sexual relationships confirms what Sarah
here says, its the clitoris not any other part that can give women
orgasms so the licking of the inside of the love tunnel isnt likely to
give either Ukyou or Shampoo an orgasm.
Sarah: well you did say you wanted in depth critics.
Eric: perhaps we're the wrong people to review something like this cuz
we tend to like slightly cerebral lemons. its not bad writing mind you
its just not good sex.
*red and blue seem to nod in assent*
Sarah: sex and lots of it is good but after 30K+ of it, it does get a
bit monotonous. *shrugs* Still ... I'll probably read the sequel.