[Fade in on the living room.  The furniture has been rearranged, the
room has been cleaned, and Infix's "Namida Dakishimete" is playing
rather loudly in the background.  Scott, Yuu, and Madoka enter through
the far door.]

Madoka:  What do you mean, you don't have one?

Scott:  Well, New Years' resolutions always seemed kind of silly to
me.  I mean, why would you make a special effort to change just
because of the date?  You should try to change when you realize you
want to.

Yuu:  You have to admit, it does make sense.

Madoka:  But it's a tradition...

Scott:  Fine.  I hereby resolve not to make any more New Years'
resolutions.

Madoka:  ...Cute.

Yuu:  (glances at the camera) Better save it for later.  We're on.

Scott:  What is it today?

Madoka:  We've got one from Richard Beaubien.  A Ranma/Maison Ikkoku
fic called "Moving On."

Scott:  Oh, Maison Ikkoku.  It's been a while since I've seen one of
those...

Yuu:  It's a spamfic, so we'd better try not to be too hard on grammar
and spelling.

[The three sit down on the couch.  Scott presses a few buttons on the
remote control, causing the music to fade to low background, the
lights to dim, and the TV setup to turn on.]

Richard Beaubien Presents...

Madoka:  The Ghosts of Richard Beaubien Pasts and Futures had the day
off.

A Rumiko Takahashi Spam Fic...
 
Moving On....
 
(Note: Not spell checked, Grammar Checked, or Insanity Checked.....You've
been warned...:)

Yuu:  Insanity checked?

Scott:  I think he's saying that the insanity in this fic might not be
as intense as it could be.

Yuu:  Oh.  Of course.

(Okay, so I'm done my X-mas break....And my gift to you is a spam-fic idea
I came up with during the break....:)

Madoka:  That explains the wrapping.

(Of course I gave myself a nice Sailor Saturn Silk Screen that's a meter
big...^O^)

Scott:  This... guy... sure... likes... ellipses...

Yuu:  Why use one period, when three will do?

****

It had been almost a year, and still she cried when she visited this
place.

Madoka:  Ranma-chan visiting the kitchen after marrying Akane and
moving away a year ago?

Yuu:  Ukyou visiting the chapel where that marriage took place?

Scott:  Nabiki visiting the stock market after a crash?

[Yuu and Madoka stare flatly at Scott.]

Scott:  What?  It could happen...

She thought she would of gotten over the pain alot sooner, but it
didn't go away. It was always with her, and it would always grow when ever
she revisted this place. And sometimes she would sit and cry, cry like she
did when she first heard the news....The news of her husbands death...

Madoka:  (plays an ominous-sounding two-note sequence on the saxophone)

The death of Ono Tofu...

Yuu:  Oh, my.

The illness was a suprise really, for Tofu knew of all the ancient and
modern ways to treat illness and other afflictions. But as Kasumi soon
found out that illness can strike even the most healthiest of people, and
can ignore the most trusted remadies.

Madoka:  Murphy's Law pretty much guarantees that, actually.

Scott:  I knew they shouldn't have trusted those remedies... bad to
the bone, I told them.  But did they listen?

Cancer choose to strike him as a
vicitm, for a reason the Doctor's did not understand.

Yuu:  The blue pencil chose to strike this sentence from the fanfic,
for a reason the Editors understood all too well...

And Tofu had tried
his best to fight it off, using all the knowledge he had to delay his
death. But karma was against him,

Madoka:  Cause of death:  Hit by a speeding karma.

and on a night almost a year ago his
illness claimed him.
 
Ono Kasumi cried that night, cried almost the entire week.

Yuu:  Must run in the family.

And ever since
the sombre Buddhist ceremony she still managed to cry when ever she
vistied her husbands resting place and shrine. 
 
But she wasn't crying this time,

Scott:  D'oh!  Make up your mind... ^_^

though she still felt pain for the loss.
This time she just stood in silence as she lit a piece of incence, placing
it down next to the flowers on the shrine. And as the sweet smeel reached
her nose Kasumi managed one more tear

Scott:  Wait, I thought she wasn't crying.

Madoka:  No, she cries whenever she visits.

Yuu:  But she wasn't crying this time.

Scott:  But she just did.

Yuu:  But that was later.

Madoka:  Let's move on before -I- start to cry.

[Scott and Yuu nod.]

before she turned to leave, silently
whispiring gomen as she left the shrine, perhaps for the last time.
 
****
 
"Are you sure about this Onnechan?" Akane asked in a concerned voice as
she helped Kasumi to pack her bag's. 

Yuu:  Her bag's what?

Madoka:  For that matter, whose bag?

"Yes I am, I need to get on with my life."

Scott:  Kasumi's, I guess.  And I take it from this that she got a
life at some point.

Yuu:  Well, she did marry Tofu.

"But why not come home, why not sta..." but Akane's questions where
stopped by a stern look from Kasumi, one Akane had never seen her use
before. "I can't go home, there are too many bad memories there. Plus
father isn't exactly the most comforting person in the world though I
still love him to death."

Scott:  Paragraphs to break up dialogue by different people.  Please?

"Well if you think so," a small frown crossed Akane's brow, to be quickly
be replaced by a slight smile. She hoped this masked the feeling of dread
that she had felt, that Kasumi had changed a bit because of the death of
her husband. That she might not be ready to go out on her own and live on
her own, especially in a district far from Nerima. 

Madoka:  Akane should charge for those emotional roller-coaster rides.

"Don't worry I'll be fine, and with Nabiki looking over the rest of the
investments Tofu had I shouldn't run into too many money problems."
 
"Yeah, Nabiki is one of the better people to have manage your money.

Scott:  As long as you're related to her, don't mind her skimming off
the top, or both.

Yuu:  Which describes Kasumi.

Scott:  Point.

Still I find it odd that Tofu would own something like this...."
 
Kasumi slightly smiled as she replied to this statement "Well Tofu was a
bit odd."

Madoka:  I don't know what's stranger.  That she's calling him a "bit"
odd, or that she noticed at all.

Yuu:  Well, in this fic, Tofu didn't have very good odds... so, "a
bit."

Scott:  And speaking of bit, someone just took the bait, hook, line,
sinker, and pole.

Madoka:  No need to exaggerate.

The smile faded slighly as she started to remember him, and
there plans togther, the family they where going to raise. But that was in
the past and she had to live for the present. Her smile returned as she
started to head for the door, "Ranma-kun, is the truck loaded?"
 
"Hai, though that dog of yours won't get into the truck!!"

Scott:  Dog?

[Four and a half glances are exchanged.]

"Just let me handle it!!

Madoka:  You can tell Kasumi's distraught.  Not only is she
exclaiming, but she gets a double point.

Scott:  As opposed to her usual dialogue in the manga, which has very
little point.

Yuu:  You've been waiting to say that, haven't you?

Madoka:  Sorry, I guess it was my double-fault.

Yuu:  (groans and buries his face in his hands)

Tofu-san, get into the truck"

Yuu:  If it wasn't obvious where this was going before, it sure is
now.

Ranma looked on in
amazement as the large white dog started to bound towards the truck,
getting in at the command of Kasumi. "You just have to know how to handle
him."

Madoka:  Who?  Tofu-san, or Ranma?

Yuu:  Both, in fact.

"Sure, anyway where going now!!

Scott:  Apparently, in this reality, Ranma is the son of Ryouga and
Shampoo.

See you later Akane!!!"
 
"By Akane-chan, I'll be sure to give you a call later."

Madoka:  By Zeus, that sounds like a divine oath.

Yuu:  I think it's just you.

The truck slowly pulled away from the curve, with Akane waving from the
door of Kasumi's old house.

Scott:  So Akane and the door were on the truck?

Madoka:  I thought we weren't going to be picky about grammar.

Scott:  Well, this one was pretty confusing.

It wasn't until they where far away that
Ranma decide to ask the question that was bugging him.

Madoka:  (Ranma) So, Kasumi, how about we forget all this and elope
together?

"So are you sure
it's okay for you to do this. Are you sure Tendo-san won't be mad at you."

Yuu:  Don't you think Ranma's questions sound like statements.

Madoka:  He's trying the 'confidence' approach.

"Why would he, he's got you to look after him and run the dojo."
 
"But he may be worried about you, after all he only cares."

Scott:  (Ranma) Besides, nobody else can cook.  We haven't had a
decent meal all year.

"I know, but it's time I did something for myself." A small wistifull sigh
came from Kasumi as she laid back into the seat. Ranma just looked over at
her and smiled. 
 
"Yeah, you owe that to your self. And we owe that to you...". And with
that Ranma pulled the truck into the freeway and started to drive towards
Kasumi's future.

Madoka:  Pretty short future, if he's just driven the truck -into- the
freeway.

Yuu:  Either that, or a really original euphemism.

****
 
"Are you sure this is the place?" 
 
"Hai, this is the address that I was given."
 
"What a rundown little dump," Ranma mumbled to himself as he
unloaded the truck. 

Scott:  Yeah.  The Tendo "Contantly Under Construction" Dojo is -much-
better.

"Well, it does need a bit of fixing up. I'm sure it's nothing I can't
handle."
 
"Sure....Anyway what room does your stuff go into?"
 
"Room 1 Ranma-kun!!"

Yuu:  Mrs. Ichinose might not like that.

Madoka:  (shrugs) She'd probably just move into the manager's room
instead.

Scott:  And get Kasumi to pay for the next party or two out of guilt.

"Okay, here I go!!!" Ranma yelled as he picked up the coach with one hand,
still showing the slight streak of macho pride he still had.

Madoka:  'Slight' streak.  Right.

Scott:  You know.  Like Kyousuke was 'slightly' indecisive.

Madoka:  Let's not go there, okay?

Kasumi
couldn't help but smile at this, Ranma had changed a lot but he still kept
some of his old, less desireable habits. 
 
"That's it!!! I Really am Leaving this time!!!" The yelled voice
interrupted Kasumi's train of thoughts. 

Yuu:  Ranma's sure in a hurry to get out of there.

Scott:  Maybe he should change that to "a voice Kasumi didn't
recognize," or something.

"He's actually going to do it this time..."
 
"Nahh, I think he's just bluffing..."
 
"A poor patheic man....Blaming his Ronin status on others..."
 
"It's because of you of that I'm failing all of my entrance exam's. If
you'd just stop have drinking parties in my room or peeping on me!!!" 

Madoka:  Peeping on him?

Yuu:  Don't ask.  You don't want to know.

Kasumi frowned as she listened to the argument, wondering what caused it
in the first place. But then that really didn't matter, for she had to
stop it no matter who ended up starting it in the first place. After all
having tenants argue was no way to run a boarding house.

Scott:  Besides, she was curious.

With that in mind she slowly entered the house and walked upstairs to see
the source of the argument. What she saw was a young man arguing with an
middle age woman, a middle age man, and a young woman in less than decent
lingere.

Madoka:  (Kasumi) Oh, my.  I seem to have wandered into a sitcom.

She suddenly cleared her throat causing the debate to stop,
and waited until all eye's where on her before she started to talk.
"Excuse me, but I'm the new manager here and I was wondering what was
going on here!!!"

Yuu:  We're up to three exclamation points.  Going once, going twice...

"Ahh...The new manager. Well forgive us for not throwing you a proper
party but we where to preoccupied with this young man here who seems to
want to leave us...."
 
"YOTSUYA-SAN!!!" The young man yelled as he placed a hand over the older
man's mouth. The two of them started to whisper for awhile before Kasumi
finally heard the word's beef bowl mentioned and saw that this Yotsuya's
lips curved into a smile. 

Madoka:  Meanwhile, the Yotsuya across the room remained carefully
neutral.

"Err, am I interrupting?"

Scott:  (Akemi) Yes.

"No, no your not...ah..."

Madoka:  This seems eerily familiar, somehow...

"Kasumi, Ono Kasumi" Kasumi replied answering the young man's question
before he could ask it. Her lip's took on a slight smile as the people
around her (besides the young man) all began to look at her with a
questioning gaze.

Scott:  The young man had begun to drool.

"Well that's a nice name, Kasumi-san!!! My name's Yusaku, Godai Yusaku.
And allow me to be the first to welcome you to Maison Ikkoku Manager...."

Yuu:  ...Words fail me.

[Scott fast-forwards through most of the closing credits.]

Hope you enjoyed it...

Scott:  Oh, yes.  Maison Ikkoku fics are always welcome.  Any last
words, guys?

Madoka:  Not really.  Clean it up a little, and you have a good
conceptual short.

Yuu:  I don't see why this was tagged "spamfic," really, but I guess
that's author's discretion.  And while I applaud the decision not to
write a series that would be essentially identical to the original
MI--

Madoka:  Which it wouldn't.  Not necessarily.

Yuu:  (continuing) --I hope to see some more MI fics from him.

Scott:  Right.  Until next time...

[Scott points the remote at the camera, and pushes a button.  All goes
dark.]


Scott Schimmel                http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~schimmel/
Ex ignorantia ad sapientium;  "You really aren't normal, are you?"
ex luce ad tenebras.              -- Miki Koishikawa