Another bright new year rolls around, and I post the second annual list of
Great Works of Fanfiction that we probably, certainly, absolutely, almost
assuredly will be seeing this year at about the same time Hell opens a ski
lodge.
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1. WAFF, by Lara Bartram
A story about Shampoo, Tarou, and Ryouga going on a picnic.
After a pleasant outing, they go boating on the lake. All of
them are portrayed as nice, wise, and intelligent. A G-rated
fanfic with no swearing, sex, or adult situations. Authors
notes at the end complain about all the smut on the FFML, and
how people should write cleaner fics.
2. The Sweeter End, by Zen
Ukyou, never the most stable of people, violently snaps and
tries to kill everyone. Only Akane (who's annoyingly saintlike
in this fic) can stop the evil okonomiyaki chef from killing
the rest of the cast! Mostly a comedy. Contains three parts,
all of which were released in quick succession with hardly
any waiting time at all.
3. Reservoir Fanfiction, by Stefan Gagne
A plain, straightforward continuation series. No hidden
references, no injokes, nothing. Although a drama devoid of
humor, the story lack a gritty, realistic feel, instead being a
serious exploration of the love a man feels for a woman. No
inner lesbians are put to the rack. Written to the music of
New Kids On the Block; authors notes at the end complain
about that icky industrial stuff.
4. Regiment's Search, by Edward Becerra
A dry, emotionless, humorless narrative story told in
rhythmic prose. No action; the fic consists almost entirely of
angst-free romance as told from a Biblical perspective.
Lengthy author's notes at the end condemn self-insertion fics
as garbage; the author insists that he can write ten times
better than the Eyrie people or Bert Van Vliet
5. Elseworlds #7 - Kuno's Episode, by David Tai
David writes the Elseworlds story we've been waiting for
for two or three years. Biles drops dead of shock.
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For the new or forgetful, here were the 1997 uns. I'm pleased to report
that not one of em got wrote. Thank heavens.
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1. The Wedding, by Kun-chan
After Ryoga's tragic death via sausage grinder, Shampoo and
Ranma finally confess their love for each other and get
married. Akane (who in a long monologue reveals that she's
actually a violent, psychotic lesbian) utterly fails to notice.
Although the author assures us that they go at it every night
like rabbits on aphrodisiacs, no actual lemon scenes.
2. Within the Candle-Wick, by Chris Willmore
Ranma and Akane spend a pleasant day together, and then
have a romantic candlelight dinner. No-one goes mad, kills
anyone, performs any kind of cannibalism or perversion,
travels through time, or rapes any water ladies.
3. Housework, cowritten by Jeff Rutsch and Susan Doenime
Kasumi reveals herself to be a genius. After cooking dinner,
performing complex calculus equations in her head, and saving
the world as we know it from complete destruction, she
marries Dr. Tofu. Both of them are deliriously happy together,
and Kasumi turns out to be the best mom in the world.
4. Thy Sideways Cream Pie, by Richard Lawson
A slapstick comedy making fun of fics that pair up Nabiki
and Kuno, have Ranma attracted to men, and end the series. A
sizable portion is also devoted to putting down the Nuku-Nuku
series of anime. Written in script format.
5. Stabbing the Heart in the Right Place, by John Biles
Ranma and Akane have a horrible, angst-ridden fight,
resulting in Ryoga and Nabiki's accidental deaths. Ukyo throws
herself off a cliff, and the Sailor Senshi make a cameo in
which their school bus explodes in a massive fireball,
charbroiling them and a nearby Gosunkugi. Then nuclear war
breaks out, and everyone dies. A chilling darkfic with no
jokes, no romantic bits, and not a single damn wombat.
Written in prose format; author's notes at the end contain a
lengthy rant on how script format is for losers.