A thought occured to me after reading the "P-Chan and special attacks" thread.

Pork Grenade

An incredibly short spamfic

by

C-chan

<insert disclaimer of choice here>

"You and your friend might as well come out Saotome," the leader of the
Demon hordes of Shdaza howled, "you may have foiled our plots and saved
your girl, but now your luck has run out."

Ranma and Ryouga crouched behind the low wall at the edge of the cemetery.
They had learned early on that these creatures could not enter holy ground.
They were safe... for the moment. But both of them knew that in a short
amount of time, the monsters would  stop raging and wander off to hurt more
innocents, or the food and water in Ryouga's pack would run  out and they
would be forced to starve or face the demons.

Suddenly, Ranma's face brightened and he snapped his fingers. He pulled
some small objects out of his pockets, turned his back on Ryouga and began
some furtive and quick actions that his companion could not see.

"What is it Ranma? Did you think of something?" the bandannaed martial
artist asked his temporary ally.

"Yeah. just give me a minute."

Ryouga leaned against the wall and tried to filter out the threats and
taunts that were being hurled over the wall. Ignoring taunts and threats
was not one of Ryouga's talents, so the effort it took distracted him
enough that he missed Ranma's question the first time.

"Hunh?" he grunted out intelligently.

"I said give me your canteen. I'm gonna need it if we're gonna get out of
here." Ranma repeated.

<piku>

"Uh... OK." 

Ryouga handed the canteen over and then returned to his efforts to ignore
the monster's insults. He was so distracted that he was already in pig
form, wallowing around in his suddenly too big clothing.


"BWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" he cursed at Ranma. and prepared to attack the
pigtailed idiot.

"Hold on," Ranma said, holding up a cautioning hand. "It was an accident. I
dropped the canteen when I tried to get this out of my pocket."

Ranma held a piece of paper in front of Ryouga's snout.

"U wasn't gonna show ya this yet, but I guess that I should now. Since I
might not get the chance later."

Ryouga was not certain that he believed Ranma, but he looked down at the
paper and began to read anyway. He read in growing horror and dismay, words
he'd feared ho would one day hear. Written in a cramped scrawl on the back
of what appeared to be a receipt from an ice cream parlor, 

                      Dear Ryouga,

                      I know how you feel about me. I am sorry that I don't
feel the same. I                       
                      could never care for someone as dishonest and mean as
you. I never
                      want to see you again.

                      Love,
                      Akane

Ryouga's heart shattered and his mind collapsed. He slumped down and
whimpered pitifully. He was oblivious to the creatures howling beyond the
wall and to Ranma quietly counting behind him.

5

How could this happen? Why?

4

His world had ended. He had nothing.

3

He was alone. He would always be alone.

2

The world is a dark and lonely place.

1

He began to glow a deep and powerful blue.

0

Ranma grabbed the glowing pig, tossed hum over the wall, and hunkered down
behind the wall.

On the other side of the wall, the demons stopped their howling, watching
in fascination as a small black pig surrounded by a blue aura came hurling
over the wall. Their leader stepped forward and opened his mouth to catch
the tasty morsel in mid-air.

<SCENE	 OF INTENSE VIOLENCE AND GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND GORE
REMOVED FIR THE SAKE OF READER SANITY>

                     One week later

"Raaaaannnnnnnmmmmaaaaaa!" a familiar voice came from behind as Ranma  was
walking towards the market, reading over the list that Kasumi had made up
for him. "How dare you shatter my world just so you can escape from some
monsters?"

"Uh-oh" Ranma muttered. Then he yelled back. "It got you out too ya know."

Ryouga screeched incoherently and the Tendo Dojo was once again left with
only half of their planned dinner.


The End

Hope you liked it, I wrote it kinda quick, just liked the idea and had to
do _something_ with it.

C&C always welcome.

C-chan