Author's rant: A great fanfic writer {whose name I can't recall} once
said that every Ranma charachter had their fatal flaw, and that if it were a
greek tragedy, they would all be dead by now. This got my wheel's a' turnin,
and eventually I came up with this series of shortfics. It's kinda like Ray
"the Texas Ryoga" 's "Hidden Talents" series, a collection of shorts all sorta
kinda interconnected, but instead of sweet water and light laughter, it's an
excuse for me to mess with all the charachters heads and really do a little
damage.

No, the guy isn't me. You'll find out at the end of the series.

Lunatic Fringe Fanfic Productions {I did NOT steal the name from Anne
Packrat!} is proud to present...


 The Sound of Victory.

-Concept by David "Hentai-kun" Carter, President of the Lemon Division.
-Story by Matthew Giglia, the Executive Goofball.

<Takahashi Disclaimer goes HERE>

The great and noble Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, rising
young star of the high school kendo world, last scion of an ancient and mighty
house of warriors, yelled in frustration as his archnemesis once again
cowardly fled from the scene of battle before he could be righteously smitten.

Or, in non-Kunospeak, he let out an agonized groan from his semi-comatose
position on Furinkan's athletic field as Ranma Saotome once again laid him low
and departed.

"I'm tellin' ya, it's like the jerk gets easier every day. I dunno why I even
bother."

"Really Kuno-chan, if you don't improve, I won't get anymore bets on you _at
all_."

"Master Kuno!! Master Kuno!! Are you all right, Master?"

"Worry not, good Sasuke." Kuno, utilizing that amazing healing factor peculiar
to martial artists in Nerima, raised himself up off the ground as the crowd of
gawkers began to disperse. "As if the cretinous fiend could harm one such as
I. Come, we must return home so as to began preparations for my next encounter
with the sorcerous Saotome."

"Yes, Master Kuno. Of course, Master Kuno." Sasuke rolled his eyes ever-so-
slightly as he and his master began their trek away from Furinkan High,
towards the deathtrap affectionately referred to as 'home'."

"Tatewaki Kuno?" A voice hissed sybilantly from behind the two. They turned,
in surprise; neither had noticed the presence of the cloaked and hooded figure
now before them, a most serious lapse for a martial artist of any caliber.

"Yes, I am he who is known as Tatewaki Kuno, the BLUE THUNDER OF FUR-"

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed, o great 'Blue Thunder'." said the man
sardonically. Before either Kuno or Sasuke could respond, he said, "Tell me,
how would like to be able to defeat Ranma Saotome? Not once, but on a regular
basis? If the answer is yes, I can be of some assistance." The man reached
under his cloak and pulled out a long katana blade, brandishing it expertly.

Kuno frowned. Ever since the unfortunate incident with the watermelons, he had
been wary of such things as this. However, the opportunity to be able to smite
the insipid Saotome was enough to pique his interest.

"Verily, I do indeed desire to humble the fiend, and so free both my beloveds
from his evil grasp. Tell me, how will you enable me to accomplish this?"

"Oh, it's quite simple, my verbose friend. All you need to do is stick out
your tongue."

"Vewy well,but I canna thee how thith-"

*SWISH*

"MASTER KUNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"


----------------------------------------------------------------------


It was another day at Furinkan High. Well, more specifically, just outside of
Furinkan High, where Ranma and Akane where arriving through the gates. As was
the case in 99.975% of their mornings, they were arguing.

"WHAT did you say about my cooking, Ranma? I'll have you know I worked VERY
hard on that lunch, and-"

"Aw, what does an uncute tomboy like you know about foo-AGH!! URK!!
OOOFFF!!!!"

Amazingly enough, it _wasn't _  Akane pummeling him into dust this time. She
was all set to, her mallet at the ready, when suddenly...

"KUNO??!?!?!!!!?" Indeed, Kuno was there, attacking Ranma viciously with his
famous 'Strike of a Thousand Blows' technique. The only difference was that
this time he was actually _connecting_ with the blows; Ranma was being struck
in the ribs, stomach, neck, legs; anywhere on the body where there was a
vulnerable point, Kuno's  bokken was there. As Akane watched  with a strange
mixture of curiosity and horror, Ranma received three particularly damaging
blows to the head and went down hard.

"RANMA!!!" Akane was immediately at his side, cradling his head in her arms.

"Wow!! Lookit that! Kuno beat Saotome!!"

"If I hadna been here to see it..."

"No way..."

"I _AM_ impressed, Kuno-chan. If only I'd known ahead of time, I'd have
cleaned up."

"Urkh." Ranma raised his now battered and bruised head and looked at Kuno, who
was standing there smirking at him. Strangely enough, there was no incredibly
pompous victory speech issuing forth from him. "How- how'd he do that ta' me?"
Ranma's speech, it was noticed, was a little off-kilter. " I never even heard
him comin'..." At this statement, Kuno began to laugh. At least, that's what
was assumed; his shoulders shook with obvious mirth, but no sound came forth.

"Hey.. Kuno, what... how?" Ranma, by now well enough to regain his feet,
stared at his now somehow formidable opponent. "How the heck did you do that,
man? Some kind of new technique? Huh?"

At this, Kuno's shoulders began to shake even harder, and his face contorted
in what looked like laughter, but still, no sound emerged. He opened his mouth
as if to say something, but then quickly closed it, a slightly wistful
expression briefly crossing his face. The kendoist shook his head and turned
away, walking toward the entrance of the school.

"Huh? Hey, c'mon, tell me!  Huh? Huh? Hey, are you listening? Don't ignore me,
you arrogant little... dammit, Kuno, SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!"

Kuno smiled.

The End.


The second installment is longer, and we get more into the head of the
charachter i've chosen to mess with. 

-Mercutio
"A plague 'a both your houses!"