The timestamps on my posts were messed up, due to the untimely death of my
system clock, which does not remember that it's supposed to keep time even
if the PC is off. Oh well. I apologize for the incovenience.

Ranma 1/2: ' Trouble ' in Furinkan High


PART I:

	"Look, Kuno, I haven't got time for this," said Ranma as he cocked his
head to one side to avoid Kuno's incoming slash.
	"Silence, wretch! Hand over Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed girl!"
	"Not this again. Don't you ever get tired of this? I keep telling you,
you'd be better off if you just forgot all about the pigtailed-girl."
	"Forget about my pig-tailed Venus? I think not!" was Kuno's indignant
reply, followed by a rapid succession of sword thrusts.
	"C'mon! Give it a rest already! Let me inside the school! The sky's
turning dark! It'll rain any moment now."
	As if on cue, the sky began to rumble...
	"You show your true cowardice, to be afraid of the thunderclouds above..."
Kuno suddenly turned sideways, as if to show his profile. He smiled to
himself in silent amusement, and held his chin in his left hand. "'Tis
right for such a man as you to fear me, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High..."
	"That's NOT what I meant!"

	I wish they'd knock it off for once, Akane thought to herself. This is all
so pointless. It's not like Kuno can win over the 'pig-tailed girl' from
Ranma. Ranma should just ignore Kuno and get inside, but nooo...He's got to
defend his reputation, not that he had such a good reputation in the first
place...
	Akane looked up at the rapidly darkening sky. I wonder why it got so dark
all of a sudden, she wondered. That thunder doesn't sound like it's going
to stop anytime soon. Come to think of it, the thought, I've never heard
continuous thunder before. What's goin' on here?

	"Is he using that old 'Blue Thunder' bit again?"
	"Sure is, Nabiki."
	Nabiki sighed heavily. I wish he'd come up with some other name for
himself, she thought. This is getting very old very fast.
	She shrugged to herself and stepped from the balcony into the classroom.
She sat down at her desk and shut her eyes. Come to think of it, she
continued, this whole school is getting boring. I mean, you can only sell
Kuno so many pictures of Ranma and Akane before the joke gets stale. I've
conned every guy (and some of the girls, even) in class, and most in the
other classes...Ranma owes me enough to buy the Tokyo Tower, and I've
milked the Ranma fiancée squad for almost all they're worth...although I
still haven't gotten the deeds to Ucchan's or Nekohanten. And the Kuno estate.
	"Take this, you pusillanimous fiend!"
	She stood up, and stepped back onto the balcony. Well, she thought, at
least I can watch the show. At least that's entertaining.
	She looked up at the gathering stormclouds and idly wondered if Ranma
would still pay for hot water if she raised the price to 1000 yen.
	Her eyes suddenly widened, a bead of sweat forming on her temple. "Wait a
minute! That's not a stormcloud!"

	"DROP HATCH OPEN! DROP HATCH OPEN!"

	"I shall teach you to fear Blue Thunder's strike!", shouted Kuno as he
viciously slashed at Ranma.
	"Hey Kuno! You got a machine to crank out those lines for you or what?",
retorted Ranma as he started to execute a backflip in order to evade Kuno's
blow.
	He probably does, thought Akane in half-amusement.
	In mid-flip, Ranma stopped abruptly, eyes wide. "What the-?" Which caused
him to land on his back. "Ittei...."
	"What is it now, cretin?"
	"Ranma!", Akane called out. "What is it? What's wrong?"
	Ranma pointed up, behind Kuno, saying, "Hey Kuno! What's that floating
thing headed towards you?"
	"Fool! Do you expect me to fall for that ancient diversionary tactic?"
	Actually, Akane thought, yes. Kuno's the type to fall for...what the?!
	"KUNO!", Akane shouted. "WATCH OUT FOR..."
	WHUMP!
	"...nevermind."

	All Nabiki could make out was a tangle of yellow and cords and...feet.
That's odd, she thought. I count four feet in there.
	Kuno climbed out of the mess, obviously irked, but otherwise unharmed.
"What is the meaning of this!? Who dares to interrupt the sacred rite of
the duel?"
	Sacred rite? That's a good one, thought Nabiki.
	"This, my good fellow," someone replied from inside the mess, "is my
parachute. As for whom you are addressing..."
	From out of the tangled forest of yellow parachute fabric and rope emerged
a young man in a white uniform. He pulled out a comb from a pocket and
fixed his slicked-back hair. Replacing the comb, he smiled slightly, teeth
sparkling. Dusting himself off with a flair, he turned to first face the
gathering crowd, then Kuno.
	"My name is Shutaro Mendo."


	If one were to take a moment to read the minds of the people witnessing
this display, a rather interesting picture could be painted.


	Shutaro MENDO?! That's the top conglomerate listed in the Fortune 500! And
the fact that he was airlifted here proves that he's from that family! heh
heh heh...I'm sure he could spare me a million or two, provided he's
persuaded properly.....

	Who IS this guy? And what's the big idea drawing attention to himself like
that? Ill bet he thinks HE'S big man on campus now. Well, we'll just see
about that...

	Obviously a kindred soul. He appears to be nobility, much like
myself...There is something about him that disturbs me, however. I detest
the way he plays up his attributes, as well as his obvious flair for the
dramatic. It annoys me greatly, though I cannot place my finger on the
reason why...Nonetheless, there is a place in hell for people like him...

	I have a bad feeling about this...


		
	The huge object in the sky above Furinkan High made a slow pass over the
school. A loud audible click, like a microphone being turned on,  could be
heard, and then...
	"Young Master! Young Master! Are you alright?!"
	Mendo produced a megaphone from out of nowhere and replied, "I'm fine! Now
go back to base! You're disturbing our classes!"
	"As you command, Young Master! We shall return to pick you up after
classes! Praise Mendo!!!"
	The sound of jets rumbled across the sky, and the wind the jets kicked up
sent the unprepared students falling to the ground...with the exception of
Mendo.
	The sky cleared, and then, there was silence.

	For about 5 seconds.
	"Hey you! Yeah you, the snooty one!", Ranma called out.
	"Are you addressing me?", replied Mendo, eyebrow raised.
	"Who else could I be talking about? Everyone else is sucking dirt!"
	"What is it, then?"
	"What the heck was that thing?"
	"Oh that." Mendo shrugged. "That's just one of the Mendo family heavy
bombers. I didn't want to be late on my first day here, so I had myself
airlifted. Satisfied?"
	"ONE of the Mendo Family bombers?"
	Ignoring the question, Mendo said to no one in particular, "I'm surprised
to find myself greeted with a duel in the schoolyard, however." Ignoring
Kuno's protests, he walks over to Akane and clasps her hand.

	The jerk's holding my hand! thought Akane. He's even quicker on the make
than Kuno!
	"No doubt they were dueling for your hand." Mendo smiled, and the light
blinded Akane for an instant. "I would duel with them both in an instant,
if only for a chance to learn your name..."
	I want to punch him, but I can't! What's wrong with me?! Akane felt her
face flush. She could hear herself say, "M-my name is Akane. Akane Tendo.
You are most kind, but they weren't dueling for just me." The last part
brought her back to her senses. "They were dueling for the pigtailed-girl,
too."
	But all Mendo did was shrug. "That doesn't change what I said." He smiled
that dazzling smile again, and answered, "But it seems I need not duel for
the knowledge of your name any longer."

	Why that dirty...what's the big idea holding her hand like that? And
what's she being so nice to him for?
	Ranma began to lunge for Mendo's throat, but before he could act, Kuno
already had his sword pointed at Mendo. "And who might you be to act so
friendly with Akane Tendo?"
	"And who might you be to tell me I cannot?", Mendo answered condescendingly.
	"He's not important, but I'm her--", Ranma started, but Kuno interrupted him.
	"Wait! It is not customary that I introduce myself first? Very well, I
shall, that you may know whom it was that smote you."
	"Excuse me, but I'm Akane's--"
	"I am the rising star of the Furinkan High School Kendo Club. My name
alone brings fear to my enemies. "
	"Um, I'm Akane's--"
	"Man among men...My blows tear the heavens themselves. For I am the Blue
Thunder of Furinkan High."
	"Oh, fine then. Don't let me finish. It wasn't important anyway," Ranma
finally said sarcastically. What was I thinking? he thought. It's not like
I care...grumble...What's the big idea getting a crush on Akane for, anyway...
	"My name...is Tatewaki Kuno. Age 17." He waited for the customary
thunderclap, but since the sky was clear, he continued. "I have introduced
myself to you. It is customary for you to do the same."
	Mendo replied, with a disinterested look on his face, "I don't give out
information about myself to commoners like you."

	Commoner?!
	COMMONER?!	
	How dare he.....Commoner...Me?! What?! How dare... What gall!! Commoner?!
How could he...I mean....Me, a commoner?...
	By the time Kuno had regained his wits, Mendo had already entered the
school, followed by a grumbling Ranma and a flustered Akane.
	"You there! Classes have already started! Get your butt in here right this
minute!!!"


	Inside the classroom 2-B, all the girls, except Nabiki, who was busy
calming down Kuno, who was standing out in the hall for being late,
gathered around Mendo.
	"Hey hey! Is it true! Are you from that Mendo conglomerate?"
	Mendo smiled to himself. "Well, it IS pretty hard to hide now, isn't it.
But to call us a conglomerate...At last count, our assets were a mere five
trillion yen..."
	Aha! Nabiki thought. So he IS that Mendo!
	Promptly forgetting about Kuno, she walked toward Mendo. Elbowing her way
into the crowd, she called out, "Hey, Shutaro....."
	"Yes? What can I...Oh, wait a second." Mendo lightly brushed Nabiki's
shoulder with his right hand. "You had a thread on your shoulder....." He
clasped her hand, saying, "I would be a thread if it meant I could be near
you..."
	Thread, Nabiki thought. Right. I don't see any thread...."Whatever... Say,
Shutaro, could I interest you in some blue chip stocks? Say....Ony
Electronics?"
	"My family owns that company..."
	"Nissin Motors and Cup Ramen Co.?"
	"That one too..."
	"Fugees TV?"
	"And that.....Look, I'm just not interested in stocks at the moment. What
I am interested in is getting to know....."
	But Nabiki was no longer listening. So much for the quick con, she
thought. I'll have to resort to more.....subversive methods.

	"Okay, listen up, people," she called out. "Enough socializing. It's time
we got down to business. We're supposed to elect homeroom officers today."
If Shutaro reacts the way I think he will.....
	"I, Shutaro Mendo, nominate myself for the position of president!"
	I knew it.

	This will be mere child's play, Mendo mused, as he walked over to the
teachers desk. All one needs to do is stand for a noble cause, and one's
victory is insured.
	"If I am elected president..."
	Mendo suddenly slammed his fists on the desk, a vaguely psychotic look on
his face.
	"I shall institute a crackdown on tardiness in this classroom! I shall
construct a torture chamber in the basement especially for the use of this
class....."

	Kuno heard everything from his spot out  in the hallway......right up to
the point about tardiness.
	"So he rubs salt into the wound! My tardiness was directly caused by
his...insult, and he has the gall to institute a crackdown! This is the
last straw! He is taking this too far!"
	"Um, Kuno-chan..." Nabiki peeked out of the classroom doorway and called
Kuno.
	"Yes, Nabiki Tendo? What do you want of me?"
	"There IS one way to stop him..."
	"Truly? You know of a way?!"
	"Yes...but it won't come cheap. 5000 yen please..."
	Kuno reluctantly forked over the cash, and Nabiki leaned over to whisper
in his ear.
	"Run for president yourself."
	"WHAT?! Was that all?! I could have come up with that solution myself!"
	Nabiki grinned and counted her money. "You should have thought of that
before you paid me, Kuno-chan..."

	"...And people who play hookey shall be hunted down by the Mendo Family
Police Force!", Mendo finished.
	"He's crazy!"
	"Who knows what goes through rich people's heads..."
	"He expects to win like that?!"
	"However," Mendo added as he combed his hair, "these rules do not apply to
the ladies of the class, as we must show the proper respect to them at all
times." He finished with a bow and a flourish. Squeals of approval (mostly
female) filled the air.

	The men of the class (Kumi no otoko, for those in the know) convened an
impromptu emergency meeting, which roughly went as follows:
	"And so, Mendo manages to win the female voters over with one fell swoop."
	"But what can we do?"
	"We need a candidate of our own!"
	"No ordinary person would stand up to such competition."
	Suddenly Nabiki (who was listening to the meeting all this time), quipped,
"I know of someone. But it'll cost you fellows 2000 yen."
	"Each?!"
	"No, just 2000 will do."

	2000 yen later, Nabiki said, "You people are right. No ordinary person
could stand up to Mendo. However.....there is ONE extraordinary person
here....."
	"You don't mean....."
	"Yes, I do. Kuno."
	"Hey, you're right! He's no ordinary idiot!"
	"But how do get him to run?"
	Nabiki smiled. "We don't have to. He will, and probably thinks it was his
idea all along."
	Right on cue, Kuno entered the classroom. "I, Tatewaki Kuno, nominate
myself for the position of class president!"
	"Woo!"
	"Go Kuno!"
	"Hey Kuno! Buy us all katsu-sandwiches for lunch!"
	Kuno raised a hand, and the room was silent. "If I win the election, I,
Tatewaki Kuno decree that henceforth...."
	Beads of sweat formed on everyone's temples.
	".....by divine right....."
	The class collectively swallowed hard in anticipation.
	".....AKANE TENDO AND THE PIGTAILED-GIRL ARE MINE!" 


	Somewhere in the school, Ranma and Akane sneezed.


	Recovering from their respective facefaults, the students of class 2-B
filled up and submitted their ballots.
	"Aren't you going to vote, Nabiki?"
	"What for? No one's persuaded me to."
	At the sound of that statement, Mendo was immediately at Nabiki's side.
"If you vote for me, Miss..."
	"Tendo. Nabiki Tendo."
	Tendo? Is this girl related to Akane? "Very well. Miss Tendo. If you vote
for me, I shall date with you."
	Gasps sounded from the women of the class. "No fair! We saw him first!"
	"WAIT!", cried Kuno. "If you vote for me, I would date with you."
	"How can the same offer from Mendo sound so...disgusting when YOU say it,
Kuno?" Nabiki remarked.
	"Very well. Perhaps 5000 yen might sway your opinion of me."
	Mendo was appalled. "You would bribe this beautiful young woman for her
vote? Where's your sense of dignity?"
	"SOLD!", Nabiki said.


	Ranma, perched on a branch right next to the classroom window, watched the
proceedings with marked disinterest.
	"Alright, people, the votes are in," said Nabiki. "Shutaro Mendo, 23
votes, Tatewaki Kuno, 23 votes.
	"WHAT?! How could I have gotten the same number of votes as that......that
cretin?!", cried Mendo.
	"My sentiments exactly. Commoner, indeed," Kuno remarked.
	"No! I will not allow it! There will be a playoff! We shall use the
ancient dueling method of the Mendo clan!"
	And what might that be,  Ranma thought sarcastically. Talking your
opponent to death?


	"Master Kuno," asked Sasuke. "Are you sure this is such a good idea? One
of you is liable to get killed..." 
	And it's likely to be you, Ranma thought.
	"Silence, wretch. This is a duel of honor between men."
	"The first one to smash the apple on his opponent's head wins," said Mendo
as he placed an apple on his head.
	"Agreed," replied Kuno as he drew his sword.
	"Put that thing away. The weapons for this duel are...THESE CANNONS!"
	And his family survived through generations dueling like this? Ranma
wondered.
	"The duel starts when this..." Mendo said as he produced a finely-crafted
dagger from his pocket, "...hits the ground." And with that, he threw the
knife into the air.

	The knife landed. And then the cannonballs flew. Kuno fired the first
shot, but missed Mendo's apple by mere inches. Mendo then fired, which
narrowly missed Kuno.
	"Reload the cannon!" Mendo ordered his butler.
	"Don't just stand there, Sasuke! Reload the cannon!", Kuno shouted.
	"I'm trying, Master Kuno, but I can't reach it!"
	Mendo's next shot totally destroyed Kuno's cannon, disarming him.

	Uh-oh, Nabiki thought. Things don't look so hot for Kuno. Guess I'll have
to do something...
	She picked up a pail of water (which she had the foresight to fill before
the duel started), and splashed Ranma, who was still up in the tree.
	Caught by surprise, Ranma fell out of the tree, coughing.

	"Aww, geez, Nabiki! What'd you do that for?!"
	"That voice!", gasped Kuno. "It's the pigtailed girl!" He rushed over to
the tree where Ranma was, deftly dodging the barrage of cannonballs Mendo
had fired.
	"Come back here!" cried Mendo. "Follow him!", he ordered his butler.
	"Yes, Young Master!"

	"Oh! My Pigtailed goddess!"
	"Get away from me! I don't have any intention of committing double-suicide
with you!" I don't need this right now, Ranma thought as she ran away from
Kuno. Suddenly, she bumped into someone and stumbled...
	"Excuse me miss. Did I hurt you?", said Mendo as he helped Ranma up.
	I really don't need this right now....
	Mendo put his arm around Ranma's shoulder. "If there's anyway at all I can
atone for my actions..."
	"GET OFFA ME!", Ranma screamed as she gave Mendo the uppercut of his life.

	Mendo crashed to the ground and landed on his head, where, unfortunately,
his apple was at the time. He got up, and could only look with disbelief at
the smashed apple on the ground.
	"I.....I lost......how could I lose to such a man as him?"
	Kuno laughed triumphantly. "Do not feel so downcast about this entire
affair. It simply means that I am a better man than you."
	"No! I am dishonored! I cannot bear to live with such disgrace!"
	Turning to his butler, Mendo said, face and voice both devoid of
expression, "Bring out the customary equipment."
	"Yes, Young Master...."


	Mendo, dressed in a ceremonial kimono, was about to commit seppuku (in
broad daylight in the middle of the school courtyard - he always had the
flair for the dramatic) when dozens of girls came pouring out of the school
to stop him.
	"No!", the girls cried. "Don't kill yourself!"
	"We can't let you die!"
	"If you die, we'll kill ourselves!"
	Nabiki sighed. "What's the point of it all?"
	"I think I'm gonna be sick," said Ranma.
	Kuno could do nothing but watch Mendo with envy....."A hollow victory. I
am class president, but at what cost....."
	Nabiki said, "Why don't you just say you're jealous you don't have any
girls scrambling for you like that?"

	It was all Mendo could do not to laugh. You may have won the election,
Kuno, but it is I who am covered in glory, he thought. And next time, I
will have outright victory against you.
	Instead, he brushed back his hair with his fingers and smiled softly. "Ah,
I feel like I am being crushed with the weight of all this love....."

=====
TimeRunner's Page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482
=====

"The story grew in the most convoluted way, as many people will be
surprised to learn. Writing episodically meant that when I finished one
episode I had no idea about what the next one would contain. When, in the
twists and turns of the plot, some event suddenly seemed to illuminate
things that had gone before, I was as surprised as anyone else."

--- Douglas Adams, "A Guide to the Guide"