******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Chapter One: Sexy and Seventeen
"...Shampoo, child, although it's twenty days before your birthday, I want you to have this gift now. Your mother asked me to hold onto it until the day that your became a woman. I was thinking that perhaps it would be best if you received it today," Lao K'o Lon said to her great-granddaughter as she watched the younger Chinese Amazon perform a rigorous and intense kata movement. It was a nice late Saturday afternoon in Nerima, and the two were in the lower deck of the Cat Cafe.
"What Grandmother say?" Lao Shan Fu asked, leaping from bamboo pole to bamboo pole. The pool was set up with poles arranged a la Jusenkyo. Concurrently, the pool was filled with cold water, and Shampoo's workout today was to try to further refine her already cat-like (when human, anyway) agility. "Shampoo not totally hear Grandmother. Shampoo too busy--"
"Fantasizing about Son-in-Law," Cologne finished. "That's the problem, grandchild. You aren't focusing enough on--"
"--pearl white dress with golden phoenix designs," Shampoo continued, unaware of her great-grandmother's rebuke. "Shampoo have big party and invite all friends: Ukyo, Ryoga, Kasumi, Nabiki, even stupid Akane--"
"Shampoo--"
"Shampoo have Ranma sit by side," Shampoo swooned, "because Ranma make Shampoo--"
*"Shampoo--"*
"Ranma marry Shampoo and go back to China--"
*"SHAN FU!!!!!! WILL YOU PAY ATTENTION?!?!?!?!?"* Cologne screamed.
That got the girl's attention. "Aiyaaa! What Grandmother wants? Shampoo not focusing on drill? So sorry. Just that Shampoo just so very--"
"Excited about your eighteenth birthday," Cologne said in Chinese, with a sigh. The pair, as well as Mousse, usually used Japanese in order to improve Shampoo's extremely faulty fluency, but today, the words must be said in their native Cantonese dialect. "Keep going, Shampoo. We'll just talk along in our language. What I am about to say I want you to fully understand."
"Okay, Grandmother. So, what did you want to talk about? The party itself, or perhaps something else?" With the switching of languages, Shampoo's vocabulary increased by volumes. The girl who normally sounded like a complete twit suddenly became a sharp and intelligent young woman. "It's just, thinking about Ranma, well, it makes me feel--"
"Like a woman in love?" The "old troll" chuckled softly. "I remember the time I first saw your great-grandfather. I had just become the village juggernaut. He in turn was a visitor, and the mightiest male warrior I'd ever seen. Thus, it was inevitable that we would spar against each other for mating rights--that sounds a bit animalistic, doesn't it?" Cologne laughed softly again, watching as the younger Lao sped from pole tip to pole tip in a quick series of actions. "To continue, we fought a mighty conflict, one that shook the heavens and earth. When all was said and done, he dropped me to the floor with a well-placed foot-sweep, and I had no choice but to surrender. Completely. Because in that one moment I looked into his eyes, I knew that he meant more to me than just the simple continuation of the Lao clan. He was my all, my everything. I looked into his eyes and in that moment I was very much in love."
The speech wasn't missed by Shampoo this time. "So you do understand?"
Cologne thought to herself about the foolishness of the young. "Yes, I do understand what you are going through, my dear. I can tell the difference between those who were doing it for the sake of the continuation of the village and those who are doing it out of love. You may have started out doing it for the sake of the village, but not anymore. You truly love him."
Shampoo stopped on a pole, then turned and faced her grandmother. Her face was a mixture of girlish blushing and unrequited love. "Yes I do. From the day I first met him--his male half, that is--he's been burned into my heart and mind, body and soul. He's so strong and handsome, so sweet and kind and attentive, and I could go on and on...." She blushed again, stifling a girlish giggle. "I'd always thought that I'd have to settle for Mousse--" Cologne, just like Shampoo, ignored the sounds in the girl's voice that noted her--*very*--unconscious love for Jiang Muu Tsu, "--but now that I have Ranma, well, I'd only be happier if I was married to him right now. But unfortunately...." The girl with the purple hair trailed off, then clamed up immediately.
Cologne noticed it and acted on it immediately. "Speak up, child. You usually don't keep things from me, and you know you never could."
Shampoo crouched on the pole tip, small feet balanced perfectly as always. She looked completely heartbroken. "He's never going to marry me, Grandmother. He's not the type to admit it, but he loves that witch Akane. Ever since that disastrous attempt at a wedding last year, the two have been growing closer and closer every day. She's even stopped denying it herself; it's only a matter of time before he stops as well. When that happens, there will be a successful wedding, one with little or no opposition. That will be the day that my little heart will break." She said that last line with as much melodrama as she could muster; although she was a battle-hardened Chinese Amazon, she was still in fact a teenage girl with all the trials and tribulations of her peers.
"Well, if you're so sure about his love for Akane, why did he try to chase you when I gave you the Contrary Jewel?" Cologne asked. She knew the answer, but hoped that the thought would cheer her great-granddaughter a little.
Nope. The younger Lao resumed her kata, gracefully doing her acrobatics from pole to pole. "That was simply out of pride, Grandmother, and you know it. When Akane put it on, she coughed up her feelings, and quick as a wink, Ranma was with her, and I was forgotten. Or the billions of times that we've used spices and trickery, but in the end, he always ended up with Akane. I've even tried to cure him in order to win his heart, but he's no longer even interested in a cure--the last time he went back to the Chochuanshan it was to save *Akane,* not him. He loves her. Period.
"Oh, I have no doubt that he's fond of me. Maybe if it wasn't for stupid Akane or his weirdo friend Ukyo--" Cologne absently noted that the Kuonji girl was no longer a problem, seeing as she turned out to have that hentai Konatsu living with her now, "--he'd freely marry me. And honestly, Grandmother, I really dislike having to resort to nasty tricks; I thought that my *body* would do the trick--I didn't know he was the celibate type, and he also seems to prefer when I play fair. But I must have him, even if it means I have to be underhanded about it--I can make peace with my conscience once he's safely in my bed. I truly love him and I want him as my husband and the father of my children, tribal law or no!"
"What about Mousse?"
"Muu Tsu means nothing to me. He's just a childhood friend. Nothing more." Cologne once again ignored the fact that she'd used his real name, or the small ember in the back of Shampoo's eyes, or the dates the pair had gone out on, or a million other combinations. Was she slowly admitting the truth to herself? Cologne had no way to answer that.
Regardless, though, tribal law must be met, even if regrettable. So, Ranma came first, even before Mousse. "Shampoo, listen to what I have to say. This is a really important topic, and I want you to miss none of it. I have something to give you, something your parents wanted you to have when you turned 18. I realize that it's nearly a month before the event, but perhaps you'll need it now."
At Cologne's mention of her parents, Shampoo stopped her routine--so jarred by Cologne's simple words that she nearly lost her balance. "Wha-what about my parents?" Ranma and the Tendos didn't have the market cornered when it came to family tragedies. Ranma may have been separated from his mother for thirteen years, and the Tendos may have lost their mother, but the only family members the Laos had remaining were each other. Shampoo's mother died in childbirth; her grandparents, and most others shortly thereafter of various causes. Her only other known relative, her father, died during a training mission in Tibet two weeks after he left them, a crushing blow to a young woman with an already tragic past. With her father no longer there, Shampoo had no link to her past except for her great-grandmother.
"This was to have been your 18th birthday gift from them. Before your father passed on, he gave me a gift to hold for you should the day come that you become a woman. You have reached that goal, Shampoo, and in two weeks will come that final step. So with that, I'm giving you the Phoenix Eye now, so that it may make your birthday a little better." With that, she produced a small pendant, held by a leather thong.
Shampoo's first reaction was to bolt back, in fear of another of the strange and magical treasures of the Orient that the Lao clan had been charged with guarding in the name of the Emperor; as a result, the Peoples' Republic had no knowledge that they existed. In some cases--like the Contrary Jewel, for example--the PRC wasn't missing much. The pendant in Cologne's hand began to glow softly, beckoning her to come closer. Shampoo leapt to the closest pole, and bent ever so slightly, her lithe body easily stretching to allow her the best view possible while maintaining her balance.
The pendant, on closer inspection, turned out to be a glowing red ruby, with the leather thong coiled around it like a leung would a mountain. The ruby emitted a soft aura that spoke incredible power far beyond that of the normal confines of chi. This was magic--true and ancient, of an age far older than she could imagine. She mouthed a note of excitement, and then blurted out, *"What* is *that,* Grandmother?"
Cologne began her commentary. "Shampoo, this is the Phoenix Eye. It is a relic that dates back to the first Chinese Amazon, long ago; it was said to be her symbol of power. It is said that when it is worn by a woman of pure heart, she will receive the magicks needed to get her every desire, as long as it is within reason." She eyed her great-granddaughter with a questioning look. "You love Ranma, correct?"
"With all my heart and soul, Grandmother. More than anything in this world, I want to be by his side."
"Exactly what I wanted to hear. With me giving this to you now, maybe we can change your 18th birthday from a celebration of your life to a celebration of your life and future. Namely, the wedding between you and Ranma."
Within Shampoo's mind, the gear had clicked. {*Ranma, as my husband?*} No further sales pitch needed. "Aiyaaa!" she chirped her battle cry, and once again any desire to play fair went straight out the window. "What do I do?"
"I'm not too sure--never used it myself. I believe that your mother said something about having to face the person that you want affected or exempted from the spell. I think you also have to be wearing it. Just pop over there and tell him that you want him to love you and only you forever. Then the next day, you send out the Wedding Invitations. Easy as that."
Shampoo began to doubt her tricks again. "Are you sure, Grandmother? I mean, none of our other spells and shenanigans have worked in the past, so why should I believe this one?" Her voice however held the tone of one who was trying to complete the process of talking herself into something she already wanted to buy.
"Child, the only reason I have waited for so long to give this to you is because I promised your parents that I would not give this to you until you were ready. I believe that time is now. I would not break a promise to family." She could see that the girl was finally ready. She also noticed something else. Switching back to Japanese, she said, "Child, there's also one more thing."
Sensing that the conversation was over, Shampoo reluctantly slipped into her less capable, stifling speech, disliking every minute she had to sound like a stupid bimbo. "What that, Grandmother? Did Shampoo miss something?"
"Yes. You stopped to listen. How can you be the best martial artist in the world if you don't learn to divide your attention?" Cologne whacked the pole Shampoo was barely balanced on. There was a startled cry, a splash of water, and a second later, a very drenched gray-blue and white Jusenkyo shorthair cat scrambled out of the water. Shampoo shook herself to remove as much water as possible from her fur, then bowed her head to Cologne to signal she understood the admonition.
Cologne picked up her cursed great-granddaughter (although, truth be told, Shampoo didn't really consider it much of a curse), and as the pair ascended the steps to the main section of the restaurant, headed towards the second flight of stairs that led to the building's living quarters. Stroking the cat's fur, she told her, "Shan Fu, my jewel, perhaps it would be best if you waited until tomorrow to use the talisman. You'll need a bath to change back, lest you set off your paramour's paranoia. Also, we have to design a suitable dress for your wedding. You can wear the other dress for the reception."
Shampoo purred in contentment. Tomorrow she'd use the Phoenix Eye to get Ranma, and he'd be hers forever. That'll show Akane why she shouldn't mess with me, she thought with an air of conceit.
She had no idea what the hell she was in for.
* * *
Meanwhile, while Shampoo was contemplating her newest strategy to win the heart of Ranma and subsequently defeat Akane, the opponent in question was on a mission of mercy. She, her sister Kasumi, and one other were seated in Let's Cafe, a nice little coffee shop in the heart of Kamakura. The place had a nice, subtle atmosphere that matched the quiet little town. Someday, Akane hoped that she could talk Ranma into moving down here once they were married. She had no desire to leave the ancestral dojo she'd called home all her life, but with all the changes that had occurred, it was probably for the best that they did. Besides, Ranma would still be more than happy to run the dojo, even if it meant a little traveling by JR during the rush hours. Furthermore, she had the faith that he would agree, if only because he loved her--even if he still couldn't admit it, his actions now clearly showed that he did.
The young woman momentarily allowed her mind to drift a little beyond the current problem, daydreaming about her love. The end of their sophomore year at Furinkan High culminated in their almost getting married, a dream nearly fulfilled for her--and she suspected, Ranma, as well; only the antics of others had prevented her from becoming Saotome Akane that day. What seemed at the time to be an extreme measure, now was one of the more tame things that occurred in the space between then and today. The following year saw a wedding between Kasumi and Tofu--finally--and also the engagement of Unryu Akari to Ryoga. Nabiki had been accepted at Shokugakan University (as well as that baka Kuno and Shampoo's would-be lover, Mousse) and seemed to be doing well there; she even recommended it for Akane. Somewhere along the line, her beloved P-Chan had run away from home and not come back; it'd been a year since she saw her little black pig, and she wanted no other pet. Father announced that he'd finally begun to move on with his life, and had every intention of seeing Minomiya Hinako, who'd won his heart with her ample charms--when in adult form, anyway--and her obvious love for him. Additionally, her father's adopted children, Natsumi and Kurumi, had returned to the dojo and announced that they were home to stay. Kurumi now attended Furinkan High in the year under Akane, while Natsumi began the momentous task of simultaneously staying in school at the same level as Akane while trying to fill Kasumi's shoes. Natsu-chan also began supplanting her AGMA skills with a type of ninjitsu called Ghost Wolf, while little sister Ku-chan became Akane's student.
However, that wasn't where the surprises ended. As the year progressed, Ranma himself became the biggest surprise of all, apparently having decided it was time to start growing up. For starters, he and Akane now rarely if ever fought, and he became her fianc� in all but admission. He'd also discovered that he had a talent for languages; using a little help from Shampoo (couldn't he have found *someone else* to help him?), he mastered Canton Chinese easily and had now begun to attack English--a class he was previously found to be asleep in. Consequently, his schoolwork and grades rocketed higher than anyone had ever expected, and with a little tutoring help from Hina-chan (okay, so having her around was good for something), it actually looked as if Ranma had not only a shot at college, but a very good one, at that. Also, he and Ryoga had made peace with one another since the latter's betrothal and had become really close friends. A *bigger* peacemaking was that Ranma had finally made peace with himself, or rather, his cursed female half. After the incident at the attempted wedding, where Happosai drank the Nannichuan water intended for Ranma; he told the whole family the next day that he had given up on and no longer cared about the cure, only trusting that Akane would accept him as is--which she always had. All in all, Akane knew what he was doing, a point not lost on the others--though he had a hard time voicing his love for her, he *did* love her, and it was time to begin preparing for that life. It would only be a matter of time when he'd muster the personal courage to tell her the words that she do desperately wanted to hear, words that she'd been saying for the longest ti--
"Akane?" Kasumi's voice brought her back into the real world. "Is something the matter?"
"No," she sighed contentedly. "I was just thinking about Ranma and how much I love him." The minute she said those words, for a rare moment she'd regretted them. Not inasmuch much the content, but the timing. Open mouth, insert foot.
The bemoaned sob that came from the third person at the table slammed Akane's error home, even more so as the woman buried her face in her arms on the table. "Oh, Uc-chan," she said, feeling like a total heel, "I'm sorry. I...."
"Forget it, Akane-chan," she moaned, not bothering to look up. "I'm a big girl. I...can...take...the...pai--" She never finished the sentence as she began another series of tears, sobs wracking her body. Kasumi put her arm around the other girl in comfort, and Akane began to curse herself for her own blissful stupidity.
The group was there because of a huge fight that had occurred between the tomboyish Ukyo and the effeminate Konatsu. Earlier this morning, Ukyo had raced over to the Tendo dojo, looking for Ranma and Akane (who were Ukyo's closest friends in the world) because she needed help. Unfortunately, Ranma and her father had gone out for a workout, and that left Nabiki, Akane, Natsumi, Kurumi, and Hinako; the Saotomes returned to Osaka nearly a year ago, leaving their "manly" son in the care of his new family. Hina-chan, although the adult present, had regressed to her child-form and thus was useless--unless you wanted the latest information on Doraemon toys. Nabiki hadn't gotten out of bed yet. Kurumi was in her usual position, on the phone talking to her latest boyfriend--she'd become the only Tendo girl to not have the usual ill-luck when it came to men. Natsumi handled it in her usual terse way: "I'll just go beat the beat the crap out of him, Ukyo. Will that help?"
Before Ukyo could answer, Akane ushered her out the door and to the only person who could actually be of some assistance: Mrs. Kasumi Ono. Akane hated to do this to Kasumi, since she and Tofu were still relatively in their honeymoon stage, but in the end, it turned out to be for the best. Tofu had to go to Shinjuku for the day for a doctor's convention, and Kasumi had plans to go to Kamakura for the day.
The three meandered about the small historical town, looking at the giant bronze Buddha called the Daibutsu; various temples and museums and so on in the town, even stopped for lunch at the local Denny's. Things were actually improving until Ukyo saw a couple walking past them, very much in love. She commented that the guy looked a bit like Konatsu would look like if he acted like a *he.* She then broke down and began bawling. That's how they ended up in Let's Cafe--it was the closest place to the JR terminal where the three could calmly discuss her problem...for the tenth time today.
So, there they were, desperately trying to cheer her up. Kasumi was having her usual tea, Akane had a Georgia coffee, and (this only added to the problem) Ukyo was belting down Irish coffees, one after another after another. For a girl who rarely had a taste for alcohol, this wasn't exactly good.
Kasumi, always the big-sister type, continued. "Ukyo, do you love him?"
Ukyo looked up, and you could see her red eyes and the trails that tears had left. She answered, a bit shakily. "Y-yes, I do...I think. He's so devoted to me, and I couldn't ask for someone to love me more; it's no wonder that he won my heart, despite the fact that I never thought that I was going to be with him. His perseverance, caring, and loyalty made me love him...there was no one who had ever treated me like that, except for Ran-chan.
"But our relationship is so *difficult!* He's too much like I should be, and I'm too much of a tomboy!"
"Where did you ever get that idea, Uc-chan?" Akane asked. "Aren't I supposed to be the 'uncute tomboy'? Besides, it's not so bad; at least Konatsu is male twenty-four hours a day. You can't say that for Ranma."
Ukyo reproached, *"Ran-chan doesn't like wearing girl clothes unless he has to! Ranma-chan, under that body of hers is still our ever-lovin' guy! You don't see Ran-chan going nuts if he ever has to dress up as a guy!"* She downed the next and ordered another, a double.
Akane shrugged off Ukyo's verbal strike. It was the alcohol talking, not Uc-chan--and considering how many she'd already had today, she was going to be in for a rude night. "So you're saying that you wish that Konatsu would get over his girlish phase? That's not easy. It's how he was raised, and the only life he knows."
Kasumi added, "That's such a minor problem. True love has a way of seeing beyond the daily measures of life. Furthermore, if he is so girlish, and you act so boyish, what is the difficulty? It would equalize, somehow. Those are your personalities, what you are comfortable with. You should be happy that you have someone to share your life with."
"Kasumi, I'm no one's freak show, yet that's all my life seems to be. In the two years that we've lived together, my parents have disowned me--they want nothing to do with their hentai lesbian daughter who would rather live with a girl than marry Ranma. I tried to explain, but they didn't listen; all they saw was Kona-chan in his blouse and skirt, and me in my usual street clothes. My parents have always known about my boyishness, but when they saw Kona-chan, they thought I'd finally gone over the edge.
"My life with a family ended that day last year; nothing can ever bring it back. If it wasn't for the fact that my restaurant keeps us fed and sheltered, I'd be in trouble."
She downed the new coffee, ordered two more doubles--numbers two and three, in addition to the six she already had. Akane pulled the guy to side and told him to make that two Georgias instead. Ukyo, still conversing with--or rather, at--Kasumi, didn't notice this, and rambled on. "Kona-chan has had about a year around male role models to figure it out--Mr. Saotome, your father, Ryoga. Even more so than anyone else, Ran-chan. He has that extra difficulty along the same manner as Kona-chan, but Ran-chan's still very much the guy.
She dumped her head back on the table, and softly moaned. "The worst part about this is, is that I do love Kona-chan. I can accept him for who he is. But I don't want to be looked at as a freak; I don't want my children to have to be looked on as sideshow attractions. I want him to be a man, my man, as much as I want to be his girl."
Her last statement was a bit slurred; the uisuki was taking effect, Akane noted, absenting the again unintended jab at Ranma. {If she'd ended up with Ran-chan, she'd still be in the same boat; doesn't she realize that?} In any case, the Tendo sisters silently agreed that they'd finish up the round that they had on the table, and then head back home. It was already 7:30 in the evening and it would take about an hour to get back to Nerima. She wanted to discuss this with Ranma; he would want to know. She also wanted to know what he'd done on his end of the problem, assuming that he got the note that she left him.
{I just hope that Hina-chan gave him the note,} she thought, {instead of doodling on it.}
* * *
"You guys have no idea how much I appreciate this. I mean, I've never done this before, and I could use all the help I can get. If this is what it takes to keep Ukyo's love, then I'll do it. And I owe it all to you, my friends."
The location was, at the moment, the Marui mall in the Ginza. The three in question were Ryoga, Ranma (in his girl-type form), and the "female" ninja Kenzan Konatsu. They were there at Konatsu's request, because he needed help--in picking out a few suitable items to wear.
As a guy.
He'd come to the conclusion that either he changed his ways or he'd lose Ukyo forever; stepping into the unknown of men's fashion apparel was far easier than losing the one who had his heart. Therefore, he enlisted his two closest male friends to assist in this. So far, they'd blown a wad of yen at several stores in downtown Tokyo; after the shopping was complete, they'd go to Ryoga and Akari's apartment (they were living together in Nerima while Ryoga worked on his education) and fix him up to look like an actual guy.
Looking in a store window, Konatsu's eyes lit up. It had to be the best piece of clothing he'd ever seen, and it brought out the color in his eyes. "What do you guys think of that?" he asked.
"Um, Konatsu, that's a very nice shirt. It's also a girl's. We're trying to avoid that, remember?" Ryoga commented, as he pointed out a more suitable store for the three men. As Konatsu walked ahead of them, he turned and whispered to Ranma-chan, "Ranma, are you sure this is a good idea?"
Ranma-chan looked back at her friend. "Look, both you and I want what's best for Ukyo." Ryoga couldn't argue with that; although not as close to her as Ranma and Akane, she was still a good friend. "What's best for her is fixing his little problem." She then grinned her most kawaii smile. "Besides, having one guy around here looking like a girl is bad enough. When we go over the quota, we have to fix it. Otherwise, I'd be afraid of starting a fashion trend."
Unbeknownst to Konatsu, when Ranma and Soun had gotten back from their workout, Hinako had given him Akane's note. After a couple of minutes of trying to distinguish the kanji from underneath Hina-chan's crayon marks, they gave up; fortunately, Happosai had chosen that moment to chase Nabiki out of the bath. She was about to clobber him when Hinako let him have it with the Happo Go-en Satsu. As she reached her normal adult stage, Hinako gave Ranma the full account of what happened. Natsumi added, "Konatsu came by looking for you," while she swept the husk that was Happosai off the engawa.
After kicking Kurumi off the phone for five minutes--much to the younger girl's anger that her lifeline had been severed--he called the restaurant ("just to say hello") and got the remainder of the story from a bawling Konatsu, who begged and pleaded for his help. Ranma promised he would and would be there within an hour or so. Next, he called Ryoga and explained the whole thing. Since Akari was otherwise occupied this day, he'd be more than happy to help. Ranma told Ryoga he'd meet him there in about a half and they'd then proceed to the restaurant. With that, Ranma gave the phone back to an extremely grateful Kurumi, then showered and got dressed.
So far the day hadn't gone by so bad. Admittedly, they had a problem when a fountain they'd walked past exploded, spraying water everywhere--Ryoga leapt out of the way, while Ranma wasn't so lucky--but Ranma-chan had long since grown accustomed to her alternate identity, and so elected to stay in girl-type for the rest of the day. Other than that, there were no incidents. Ryoga and Ranma chose a few suits, jeans, shirts, and so forth for Konatsu, steering him away from the women's stores and into the men's. At the current moment, they were on the way to have a quick dinner, then proceed back to Ryoga's for the spruce up.
Five minutes or so, later, the trio was seated in the local food court, Ranma and Ryoga wolfing down several servings of gyoza and gyudon while Konatsu daintily munched on a salad ("for my figure", he explained). "Look, guys," he said, "I'm not sure I'm ever going to master being a guy. I've never had to be one before. But I have to be one now, if I'm going to keep Ukyo."
Ranma lifted her head out of the gyudon bowl long enough to say, "Look, man, all you have to do is tell her that you love her, and that you hope she can accept you as is."
Ryoga couldn't resist the swipe. "Look who's talking. You still haven't admitted it to Akane!"
The redhead was silent for a few seconds before commenting, "Hey, we're here for Konatsu's sake. Let's stick to the matter at hand."
Ryoga then took over the discussion. "You two love each other. Why are you so sure that she'll dump you?"
"Just a feeling of wome--intuition, I suppose. Besides, I'll have to do this sooner or later--even if Ukyo and I survive this little scuffle, this is something I have to do to move out from under my clan's influence." He sighed. "I just want to make Ukyo happy, and if I have to do this now instead of slowly, then this is what I have to do."
Ranma set down her chopsticks and looked at him. "I'd really like it if Uc-chan was happy. If you're the cause of her happiness, so much the better. Konatsu, do what you think is right. Honor demands that you must, but more importantly, love requires that." She looked at Ryoga, expecting another strike. Ryoga just smiled and nodded. Ranma continued. "I'm by no means an expert on relationships--believe me--but you have to stand firm. You're not the most willful person on the planet--"
"You mean I'm a coward," Konatsu said, admitting the truth.
Ranma ignored this. "--but by making the step today, you've become braver than you'd like to say you are." She looked at her watch. "It's almost 6:00. If we're going to make a new you, we'd better start heading for Ryoga's place." The three got up, but just as they reached the mall exit, Konatsu told them to wait for a couple minutes while he took care of some personal business; he'd be back in five.
"What do you think he's up to?" Ryoga asked Ranma as they watched the ninja depart.
"Beats me," the redhead replied. "I just hope he doesn't get that silk shirt. Or the poodle 50's miniskirt...or the bib overalls...or the lace dress, or a million other things."
"No kidding." The pair sat down on a bench near the exit, pausing only long enough to buy a couple of ice creams. "I hope it turns out okay for them."
"So do I Ryoga, so do I."
"Well, one problem down anyway." He took a quick lick off his chocolate cone, then stated, "Next issue: what about you and Akane?"
Ranma did a double take, nearly dropping her butterscotch. "What?"
Ryoga looked at the red-haired girl with his hardest stare. "Ranma, we've been through a lot together. I'm amazed that we've actually become friends, considering that about this time two years ago, I was seriously trying to kill you. Nowadays, I'm happier than a clam, and depression is the least thing on my mind since Akari became my fianc�e last year.
"So as your friend, let me say I'm thrilled that you and Akane are a couple. But let me set you straight on one thing. Despite the fact that I've got someone else, Akane's happiness is still one of my priorities. You two love each other. How hard is it for you to simply say it?"
"Funny, I honestly thought I was. I'm trying to learn how to be a better iinazuke for her. I'm even working on getting into college--something I could've cared less about before the botched wedding attempt. I always thought that if I could become a professional martial artist--you know, join one of the tournament circuits--then I could make enough money to keep the dojo afloat. But now, I'm actually thinking of being a language scholar--in addition to my martial arts studies, of course. I'm doing all this for Akane--I'd do anything for her."
"Except telling her you love her. It's the only thing I've ever seen you back down from."
"I don't back down from anything!" She paused, then looked down. In a quiet voice, she said, "Okay, maybe I do back away from that...just a little."
"Then tell her. Three simple words, Ranma. I'm as shy as you when it comes to this, yet I have no problem saying those words to Akari. Just do it. You've confirmed by your actions that you want her as your wife. *Verbally* confirm it. If nothing else, do it because it's the words that she wants to hear from your lips more than anything. At the very least, it'll make me breathe a lot easier."
She clapped him on the back. "Thanks, Ryoga. I really appreciate it."
"Just as long as Akane's happy, I'm satisfied."
The two broke off their conversation just as Konatsu returned. He had a look on his face that said he was extremely pleased with himself. "So guys, are we ready to go?"
"Sure. What'd you buy?"
"Just a couple of extra things. Among them's a new ninja outfit; the old one I'm getting rid of, because it'll remind me of something I can't be anymore. I'll also have to learn to modify my clan skills, but that's a different story. There's also one other thing, but you'll find out about it later." Konatsu looked anxious, as if he were ready to leap into action. Which he was, in a way.
The three exited the mall, heading for the subway station. Next stop, Nerima, and to the Hibiki household.
* * *
Above the dark waters of the China Sea, a huge behemoth floated in the skies. It was large enough that it was tracking on Chinese, Japanese, Soviet, and US threat-warning systems. From a distance, the USS MIDWAY battle group followed the object as it began to move steadily northeast. Radar images of the object showed that it easily dwarfed the aircraft carrier; in fact it dwarfed the whole area covered by the battle group. Fighters and bombers from the People's Liberation Army Air Force also trailed at a respectable distance, but ready if the object should begin to move in on Chinese airspace. Soviet and Japanese forces were put on standby. After a few hours, the Soviets and Chinese were fairly sure that the object was not of Western origin and presented no immediate threat; they still remained at standby.
American and Japanese forces, on the other hand, weren't so comforted. US Forces Japan and the Ministry of Defense deployed some of their forces in preparation--in fact, the MIDWAY group had been called away from routine patrol in the straits of Taiwan to track the object. The reason for this was clear: by intelligence estimates of present course and speed, the huge object was scheduled to be over Tokyo within the next 15 hours.
Several hundred feet up above, a flight of F-18s was on an intercept course for the object. Their mission: to determine what exactly the thing was. Satellite imagery just indicated a big black blob on the scopes. Radar imagery enhancements gave the approximate size of the object, but didn't paint a three-dimensional view. The military needed to know what they were up against, and fast. Between the realities of World War II and a billion rubber-monster movies, things could get ugly with extreme ease.
As the three Hornets closed the distance between their position and that of the UFO, there was tension flowing in the Pacific. The Japanese Air Self-Defense Force began combat air patrols, and USAF squadrons would soon join their JASDF counterparts. For the moment, the US Navy was left to track the object, and possibly down it if needed. The current tip of the Navy's spear was that flight of three fighters, coming into within a few thousand yards of the object.
Within visual range, the pilots switched to night optics and readied to report. The pilot in the lead fighter opened a comm channel and began. "Midway, this is Alpha Flight One. Do you read? Over."
"Alpha One, this is MIDWAY. Report."
"Roger. We are within visual range. What we have to report, sir, is really unusual."
"Alpha One, report anyway. What is the object in question? Is it of known design?"
Alpha One took a deep breath then shook his head once to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. "Relatively, MIDWAY."
"Relatively? Please elaborate."
"MIDWAY, you're not going to believe this, but this UFO looks like a gigantic pagoda! A freakin' *Chinese* pagoda!"
"A *what?* Alpha One, are you hallucinating?"
A new voice entered the comm channel. "MIDWAY, this is Alpha Two. It *does* appear to be a Chinese pagoda, made out of a black crystalline matter, like polished obsidian. Approximate size is I'd guess to say about the size of the Tokyo Egg Dome."
Alpha One, relieved to be vindicated, continued. "MIDWAY, I am transmitting gun camera views. Alphas Two and Three will do the same."
"MIDWAY confirms A1GC transmission. Alpha One, standby for backup; we are loading Bravo Flight onto the catapults. In the interim, try to get as much information about this thing as possible--propulsion, armament, defenses, everything. I really don't like the looks of this."
"Roger. Alpha Two, Alpha Three, commence circuitous traversing around the Pagoda. Open links and transmit every bit of information you have to MIDWAY." He flicked a couple of switches in the cockpit before adding, "Beginning recon runs now, MIDWAY."
"Be careful, Alpha Flight. All of your information is now being relayed to other sites via Tactical Network 5. Bravo One and Two are in the air, Bravo Three is in launch sequence. Bravo Flight should be rendezvousing with you ETA 15 minutes."
Alpha Flight began its circling of the giant black floating Pagoda, as it made its trek towards the Land of the Rising Sun.
* * *
Deep within the bowels of the floating fortress, a man sat in a throne room. The throne room itself seemed to be made of a soft rose-colored crystal, and had pillars made of jade colored crystal as well. In fact most of the objects in the throne room--and the whole Pagoda, while you were at it--were made of that very same crystal, even though pieces were made of different colors. The throne, however, wasn't made of crystal, but instead made of polished woods, dazzling gold, and luxurious silks, creating a striking yet natural contrast between the organic ornate styling of the throne and the inorganic simplicity of the crystals. The person sitting on the throne himself could just as be made a comparison to.
He was a young man, apparently in his mid-twenties, muscular and well defined. He had close-cropped black hair and a goatee that looked somewhat out of place on his oriental face, which was currently an emotionless mask. He wore a blue silk suit that seemed to be a hybrid between a military uniform and Chinese clothing, which was topped off by a red cape that draped lazily against the floor. He sat contemplatively, looking at nothing or everything or anything, it seemed. If you looked in his eyes, you'd see why--his eyes, from the pupils to the iris to cornea and everything in between were a shade of neon purple, twin radioactive amethysts looking into the world from that handsome yet dangerous face of stoicism.
This then was Nguyen Tran Loc, master of the Crystal Temple, warlord of the northern reaches of Vietnam, one of the most powerful and feared fighters in history.
Nguyen was calmly meditating, staring at nothing and everything, when another figure stepped into the room.
Without taking his eyes off of whatever it was he was staring at, he rolled words off his tongue, the voice sounding far too deep to be from that body, sounding as if the heavens themselves had thundered. "So, Mango, have the preparations been made?"
At the other end of the room, stood a woman of Chinese decent, in her early twenties. She had short white hair and dazzling turquoise eyes, perfectly exotic complements to a lithe, athletic, and sexy body. She had a pair of Chinese short swords strapped to her back, which was appropriate since her clothing identified her as a former resident of Joketsuzoku, China. In short, Mango was one of the legendary Chinese Amazons.
Mango spoke, her melodic voice tinged with regret. "The preparations have been made, my liege. Are you so sure you wish to continue with this?"
Nguyen focused his eerie violet eyes on her, and she felt the chill of something unnatural pass through her body. "Very well." He paused for a second, then she felt his gaze pass through her once more; she fought the urge to hide in the deepest, darkest corner of the universe. "Oh, my dear Sung Min Gei. Are you so depressed that you have been passed over for this?"
"My Lord Nguyen, I cannot, *do not* understand how I have failed you. Have I not stood by your side all these years? Have I not slain your enemies, and helped you to conquer the northernmost reaches of Vietnam? Have I not led your forces to victory against the Vietnamese Army, to the point that they consider the northern stretch of the border *your* lands? Have I not warmed your bed? I do not understand why I have not been made to be your lifemate!"
"Oh, my dear Mango, but you do not understand." He beckoned her to come, and she did with a rapturous, child-like glee. "You are the finest general my armies could ever ask for. You are the greatest lieutenant to me, and there is no one better than your skills in administration and command. In bed, I am more than delighted with your presence."
She assumed her usual position, sitting seductively in his lap. "But my lord and love, why must I be the First Concubine? I wish for no more than to be your mate. Yet I am passed over for some young strumpet in Tokyo!"
Mango had no time to duck the blow that sent her flying across the room. As the force of the slap tossed her, Nguyen roared, "Mango! I have explained it to you many a time! That woman is key to my plans of conquering the world! She will bear my child and, thus, must be the Empress!"
Mango looked at him with fear, then her face became a mask of rage. "And all because this woman is supposed to be the mightiest female warrior in existence? I will meet her and kill her, and prove where the *real* power lies." She walked back to Nguyen, hips swaying, moving in a fashion that did not even remotely hide what she was thinking. "Then I will assume the position of Empress. And her child will be mine." As she came to him, she easily removed her top, and sat once again in his lap. She whispered as she blew into his ear, "You are mine, and any other woman who comes near you will not be long for this world."
Nguyen felt his blood sing and his hormones rise, "Mango, perhaps I have been a bit has--"
A messenger ran into the room, bowing and facing the floor. "My Lord, I have a report!"
Nguyen tried to look dignified as the lustful Mango began to unbutton his shirt. "Yes, yes, make it quick."
The messenger continued to look at the floor as he spoke. "My Lord, our estimated time of arrival above Nerima is in 14 and one half hours. Additionally, our imageries report that we are being trailed by American fighter aircraft."
Nguyen continued to try to sound dignified as Mango rubbed up and down his body like a cat in heat, nibbling his ear and doing other interesting things. "Inform the alchemists to not vary speed; it is sufficient. As for the aircraft, unless they attack, do not worry about them. They are insignificant. If they do fire, destroy them and their launch sites. Now go forth and carry out my orders."
"At once, My Lord." The messenger was gone as quickly as he came.
"Now then, where were we?" Nguyen asked as he planted a firm kiss on Mango's full-bodied lips, her body aching with desire for him.
* * *
It was 9:15 in the evening when Akane returned home. The majority of the Tendo household was quiet, but that didn't necessarily mean inactivity. She heard the sounds and voices of her father and Natsumi training in the dojo. Someone--Nabiki and Ranma, most likely--was watching TV. If Akane knew her sister Kurumi, she was probably out with one of her boyfriends. It's Saturday, she mused, so that would mean either Jubei or Hideo. I just don't see how she keeps track of them all.
Calling out, "Tadaima," she stepped off the engawa and into the family room. True to her guess, it turned out to be one of Nabiki's favorite movies--The Marx Bros.' _Duck Soup_--but neither subtitled or dubbed. That confirmed that Ranma had been it watching with her. The two, along with Akane, usually sat and practiced their English together in this manner. "Nabiki-chan? Where's Ran-chan?"
"Right behind ya." She turned to see Ranma holding a red rose meant for her. "Hiya. Missed you all day. Where'd you guys go, anyway? Chiba?"
She took the rose, looked at it fondly, and then hugged her lover. "Kamakura, actually. Thank you for the rose, Ran-chan, it's beautiful."
"Not quite as beautiful as you, Akane-chan," he said, as the pair sat next to Nabiki and joined in on the movie. "What'd I miss?"
"Not supek Japanese, Ranma," Nabiki said in broken English. "Movie to plactisu Ingrish, remember?"
"Ah, sure. If you insist," he said. "What I did miss?"
"You so good Ingrish!" Akane said, resting her head on Ranma's shoulder. "Sound like guy on terebi."
The three looked at each other then laughed hysterically at their mangled language skills. The worst part was Ranma, with the previously least attention paid in this department, actually did sound the best. They laughed for a few more minutes, until Nabiki paused the film, saying something about getting something to drink.
While she stepped out, Akane slid her head into Ranma's lap, and while staring lovingly into his baby blue eyes, gave him the details of the day's events. Ranma, as expected, was very concerned that Ukyo got herself completely plastered, but was at least comforted that Akane had chosen to take Kasumi along. He in turn detailed the little mall trip that the guys had taken, leading up to Konatsu's last-minute detour. They also briefly chatted about Akane's desire to possibly live in Kamakura. Ranma said that they'd worry about that when the time came, hinting that it might come soon.
They ended up watching the rest of the movie alone, Nabiki opting to have gone to bed instead. They simply held each other, gazing at the movie, then into each other's eyes, then at the movie, then at each other's eyes. Popping another movie into the VTR (_Casablanca_, this time), they began the same ritual over again, pausing briefly to say goodnight to Soun and Natsumi as they came into the house and went upstairs, then once more as Kurumi came home from her date.
As the credits rolled, and the clock struck midnight, Saotome Ranma looked down and into the eyes of the girl he loved. Tendo Akane did the same. The pair swam in each other's eyes, never for a moment looking away.
She was the first to break the silence. "I love you, Ranma."
He looked down at her, love in his eyes. "Same here, Akane-chan. Same here." He never said the words, but someday Akane hoped he would. It really didn't matter in the end; she knew where his heart belonged.
"Kiss me," she breathed.
Without hesitation, he bent down to do so.
It would have been nice if they had. Unfortunately, they inched closer and closer, hesitant and anxious at the same time, until, inexplicably, they fell asleep mere centimeters from each other's lips.
From the darkened corner near the stairs, the rest of the family watched.
*"Again?!?"* Nabiki whispered harshly. "This happens *every* time I leave them to their own devices."
"Personally, I think it's kind of romantic, onnechan," Kurumi said. "I just wish some handsome Prince Charming would lift me off my feet."
"There's always tomorrow, Ku-chan," Natsumi quipped. "Or perhaps later today, I should say." She ticked the days off her fingers. "Or maybe Monday...or Tuesday...or Wednesda--"
"Could you three please hold it down?" Soun said, holding the camcorder. "I'm trying to capture a memory here!"
"Sorry, Daddy," all three girls said at once.
When it appeared that the pair weren't going to wake up anytime soon, the group dispersed to their own rooms while Nabiki went to get a blanket for the lovers. {Perhaps someday,} she mused as she laid the two down in each other's arms, then threw a blanket over them, {they'll get it right.}
* * *
Ukyo took a whole three minutes to find her keys, then another five to master the concept of the lock.
{I'm sooooooo blassstud,} she thought, the concepts barely making it through the alcohol-induced haze that was her brain. {Kona-chan's gunna killlmeeee....}
She opened the door, stumbled through, dropped everything she was carrying, took off her shoes and threw them in various directions, and screamed, "Kona-chaaaaaaaaan! I'm hoooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmme!!!!!" She began to undress for bed, having just enough sense to close the door.
"You don't have to shout, my dear," a voice said. It didn't sound like Konatsu.
Stepping half-dressed into the den, she was stunned by what she saw.
On the coffee table, sat a vase with a dozen roses, and a small card that said, "For my beloved Uc-chan." That was the lesser of her surprises.
Seated on one of the pillows by the table, was a man. A *man.* His shoulder-length jet-black hair was swept back in a ponytail, and he wore a nice suit and tie. He sat, not with the grace of a woman, but with the strength and courage of a man. When he spoke, it was not the light tones of a girl, but the deep, measured voice of a man. "Ukyo, I couldn't wait any longer. I don't want to lose you. I want you in my life, and I will do whatever it takes to show you that." He looked down at his new clothing. "As you can plainly see."
Ukyo stared, her inebriated mind not allowing her to believe it. {Uh-uh. No weiy. Knot Ko-na-tsu.} She shook her head vehemently. {Nooo huayy it coulllld beeeeeeee....}
As if understanding her thoughts, he stood up and faced her. "Uc-chan, I love you. I want you in my life. I'll change for you, because your love gives me the courage and strength to do so."
From somewhere deep--and sober--in Ukyo, a small voice said, {This is what you've always wanted. Tell him.} With her conscience as her guide, she found the words, albeit fuzzy. "Koooooooooooooooo-na. I-I luv yuuuuuu. Allllllllllwayzzzz."
The pair kissed, Ukyo easily melting into Konatsu's arms. With no further ado, the pair released all their pent-up desire and love for each other, previously held back only by her hesitation and his cross-dressing. Without thinking for even a moment, love and alcohol guiding her every motion, absolute Zen-like rapture leading his, the pair walked hand in hand for Ukyo's bedroom.
