At 04.35 28.12.1997 -0700, you wrote:

Mizu:  Hello and welcome to the show.  For once we'll try to start
the new year with the first segment of a series, said series being
"Half A Sorceress" by Jussi Nikander.  At this point, I'd like to
remind our viewers and our reviewees that generally, we like the
material we are covering, and this case is no exception.

Jussi:<blink> This is one them MST-type thingies? 

Lina:Certainly looks like one.

Jussi:Wow! Somebody MSTs my work! People must like me!!! 

HALF A SORCERESS

Boggs:  ...is better than a nun.  

Jussi & Lina:<groan>

Written by: Jussi Nikander

Boggs:  Directed by:  Jussi Nikander
Mizu:  Best Boy:  Jussi Nikander
Cog:  I believe Jussi Nikander may be female
Boggs (holds up bucket):  Easily fixed.  

Jussi:I was a male the last time I checked. Still, you aren't the first
who's had trouble guessing my gender. ^_^

He was also quite surprised to see
his son floating face-down in a spring, his pigtail orange.

Boggs:  Orange?
Mizu:  Don't ask me, I've never seen Slayers.  Rumor has it, though,
that the girl was notoriously flat-chested so that's one taunt for
Akane that ain't gonna happen.  
Boggs:  Ya know, that could change everything between Akane and
the wimp.

Jussi:Well, Lina's hair is orange in the TV-series. Curiously, it's brown in the
movies and OAVs, so maybe I should use orangish-brown... ^_^

Slowly the something was awakening in Ranma's mind.

Mizu:  Meeow?  Say, I wonder if Lina likes cats.  After all, she's
going to be sharing living quarters with one.  Could be crowded.  

Jussi:The cat's sleeping and I don't know if it's going to come out anytime
soon. Thanks for reminding me about it though. I have to take it into
account too.

When Ranma sat up,  Genma moved to a stage beyond surprised.
Ranma's eyes were red, and he sprouted a pair of small breasts.

Boggs:  Yep.  Just trashed a major attraction for me right there. 

Lina:Ohh... He's really asking for it...

Jussi:Do you remember that we're MSTing a MST, so you can't blast him?

Lina:Yeah, I do. <pouts>

Mizu (shudder):  I just know that somebody's going to end up looking
into Lina's soft _red_ eyes at some point.   

Jussi:I wouldn't call them soft. Not, unless you think Nabiki's eyes are 'soft'

Lina:I'll take that as a compliment.

At the same moment the pain registered, and he
dropped Ranma and started to run around, frantically trying to
extinguish the flames.

Boggs:  Just stick your butt in one of those convenient pools.
It'll fix you right up...

Lina:Even the old fool isn't that stupid.

She briefly considered casting a Ray Wing in
order to look around, but since she hadn't been able to pull of a
decent basic fire spell, it probably would have been just a waste of
energy.

Mizu:  You know, if there's any place that ought to have a lot of
ambient magical energy in the modern world, that's the place
Cog:  Perhaps she would have had more luck with a water spell.  

Jussi:She's been dead for a thousand years. Mana reserves are at all-time low.

She
hoped that she would have had Zel teach her some shamanistic
magic.

Mizu:  She expects to be timetravelling soon?
Cog:  "She wished she'd had Zel..."

Jussi:Time travelling... Hmm...

Sailor Pluto:No! I will not allow it.

Jussi:Where did you come from?

Sailor Pluto:None of your business. She will not go to the past, or else...

<Sailor Pluto bonks Jussi and disappears.>

Jussi:That was quite unplutoish. The bonking I mean.

Lina:<shrug> Maybe she was from one of the spoof continuities...

It really looked like his son had gone crazy.
What would Nodoka do once she found out?  

Boggs:  Same thing she'll do when she finds out about the cats.

Lina:Which is nothing. A promise or no promise, nobody's going to do
a seppuku as long as I'm in his body. 

He then walked out of the hut, leaving an unconscious Genma and a
bewildered Guide behind.

Cog:  One fails to see the source of the Guide's perplexity 

Jussi:Well, he's seen quite a lot in his life, but the family relations
of these people plus what happened to Ranma was a little too much.

in the end, I was able to beat Shabranigdo with a really major magical
spell, for which I had to borrow power from here and there.>

Mizu:  Is there a reason Jussi just synopsised most of his or her
videotape collection?  

Jussi:<shrugh> Everybody always does that Jusenkyou-flashback, so I did
this. ^_^
Seriously, it shows people what kind of timeline I'm using. And that's just
a tiny
part of my videotape collection.

<Err.. Become a human?> Ranma asked.

Mizu:  You know, you can't have an echo unless you have some empty
space to work with...  Looks like Ranma has plenty in there.  

Lina:This is Ranma we're talking about.

Ranma turned around to see a muscular boy of his age, wearing a
yellow-and-black bandanna, black sleeveless shirt, and rugged pants,
and wielding a red umbrella, staring down at him with murder in his
eyes.

Cog:  "ragged" pants may be a more accurate descriptor.  
Mizu:  Hmm...my fashion sense is tingling.  

Jussi:Prehaps...

Lina:No koshisms here, please.

Jussi:That wasn't a koshism.

end of chapter 1

Mizu:  Any parting thoughts, Joe?
Boggs:  It's still good, but I liked the first draft better.

Jussi:It clashed horribly with some episodes of Slayers that most people
are not aware of. (read:SS hasn't released them yet.) Or so I was told.

Mizu:  And on that note, we'll bid you adieu.

Lina:Well leave too.

Jussi:Thanks for the comments.
-----------
The Martian.
Jussi.Nikander@alien.nixu.fi
-----------
Compared to this ice cream the human lifespan is just
the blink of an eye.
	-Jean in episode 19 of Nadia