Caroline Seawright wrote:
Ranma and Akane have sex on Akane's bed.
THE END
Sorry to quote the whole story, but I really needed to, to give C&C on it.
Well, the spelling's okay, and the grammar is okay, so there's no real
problem there.
But the whole thing lacks characterisation and, well, fankly it's boring.
I'd say that going back to the drawing board and using a little
imagination would do the trick. And try for more details. And a story
line. Having a story line would keep the reader's attention. Having
details will keep the perverts' attention.
Hehe uh yeah.
Better luck next time!
Kun-chan...
ooo. She said 'Try again, sucka.'
Shot down by one of the greats. What a way to go.
Seriously tho, if he was trying to be funny, he missed the mark. If he
was saying that some things shouldn't be delved into, then it was
funnier. If he was attempting a fanfic, he missed and hit spamfic.
whichever- it was spam.
-Missy
-Photographer
-Colliding SYmphonies