Sorry guys, I know you were expecting some vain attempt at witiscm,
but I just don't feel the juice right now. I rarely do on Christmas. I
have spent the past 8 years making the same wish for X-mas, and never
getting it. I'd slowly shut my eyes, the lights of the tree being the
last image to burn their way to my minds eye, and quietly beg to be
taken in my sleep. It could be quietly, or dramatically, with pain, or
without, just so I didn't wake up the next morning... my last memories
being the all encompasing darkness of my favorite night of the year...
the only one's I can remeber without pain to associate them to. But,
Christmas day, I open my eyes, absently wipe a tear and pretend to be
surprised and delighted with socks and chocholate Santas. Santa just
doesn't carry a scythe.

    Today was different though. I had ideas running in my head last
night, idea's for fics, for my character in Revenge's End... what to do
with Mihoshi and Ryouga? And just how many disposable razors does
Scarlet O' Hair go through in a day? And what stories will await me the
next day? Is Kleepe clipping? Is Lurker lurking? Nickolas switching? Zen
getting off his butt? Fcasper MSTing? Dr. Thinker thinking? Biles
getting proper Billing? Kun-chan kooing? My prereaders prereading? JD,
the guys of Round Robin, FFIRC <gomen, but you there are TOO many of you
guys to name>... all of you... last night I went to sleep with a special
present, one I had never known existed.

    You see, I tend to go to sleep with Pandora's box clutched tightly
in my hands... up until this point, I had never looked inside, knowing
only that the monsters were loose and roaming in my brain... but last
night, I found the hope. It had stuck to the bottom, like a forgoten bit
to "some assembly required" present, you know the bit that makes
everything else work. I feel so ashamed, I have NOTHING to give you
back, and here I am holding the Pentium 2oo MX while you smile
thankfully with your Dilbert tie. Arigato....

<scene changes to a home deep in the moutains, a rustic mobile home, a
multitude of lights, all carefully selected to be burned out except the
few that rebel whatever the setting, and Feliz Navidad playing on
infinity loop... standing in front of it are all of Keener's fic
charcters... from suicidal leads to speech impeded amalgalms, various
Ryougas, a couple of Crows (both Tottorro variety and Duck) and lemon
and dark fic survivors all wearing Christmas garb... suddenly, what
should appear? You knew it would... a sliegh pulled by seven Mokonators
and a smiling hack at the back... they all pull out song books and
Keener starts them off>

Note: sung to Christmas is Coming, the Goose is Getting Fat... get an
Englisman or Muppet to hum it to you sometime if you've never heard it.

Keener: The cabbit is frothing, the Mousse is getting phat, please to
plug a Senshi in the Eva's back, if you haven't got a Senshi, a Knight
Saber will do, if you haven't got a Knight Saber then My Goddess bless
you! (repeats contiually as others sing)

All: The cabbit is frothing, the Mousse is getting phat, please to plug
a Senshi in the Eva's back, if you haven't got a Senshi, a Knight Saber
will do, if you haven't got a Knight Saber then My Goddess bless you!
(they repeat it contiunially as others sing)

Krudd: The cabbit is fwothing, the Mousse is getting phat, pwease to
pwug a Senshi in the Eva's back, if you haven't got a Senshi, a Knight
Saber will do, if you haven't got a Knight Saber then My Goddess bwess
you! (repeats contiually as others sing)

Mokonators: Pu pupu pu pupu, pu Pu pu pupu pu, pu pu pu pu pupu pu pu
pupu pu, pu pu pupu pu pu pu Pupu, pu Pu Pupu pu pu, pu pu pupu pu pu
Pupu pu Pu Pupu pu pu! (repeat contiually as others sing)

<They begin to dance in a sort of conga line, all around the snow,
singing just enough times to make cheese melt and brains scream uncle!>

<Keener turns around, smiles at Reality, as played by Jimmy Stewart, and
hands the guy a bowl of chicken noodle, all wrapped up and piping hot>

All: MERRY CHRISTMAS CHARLIE BRONSON! AND EVERYONE ON EVERY LIST!!!

<Keener snags JD from the unlookers and they both transform into Parrot
King and Haggis King respectivily>

Both: And a Happy Ewe Year!!!