Reposting:[R 1/2] IMMW Ch.1-2
Ryoucilo
bogue@negia.net
I decided to repost this in the hopes that someone will actually like it
although that is highly unlikely. *sigh* I'm still working on YRMMGSS.bogue
I'm going to try to get chapter three out as soon as possible which
may not be for a while. C&C is welcome.
It's a Mad, Mad World
Prologue
Ryouga was feeling glad all over. He had just gotten
a new present for Akari and he was going to her house to
tell her that he loved her. The only problem was him finding
her house. Ryouga looked around himself and thought that
he recognized his surroundings.
That was when Ryouga saw a staggering, bisheveled man.
>From the way the man walked he looked like he was intoxicated.
Ryouga then noticed that he was wearing a red satin shirt and black
pants. The man also had a pigtail and if you haven't guessed who it
is by now you're an idiot.
"RANMA!?"Ryouga shouted.
Ranma put his hands to the side of his head and said, "Aaah! I
can hear ya just fine. No need ta yell!"
Ranma then clenched his stomach and began to vomit. Ryouga for
his part looked away and said with a tone full of disgust ,"Saotome
what happened to you?"
Ranma looked at him and said,"Ya mean you din't 'ear?"
"Hear what?"
"Akane broke off our engagement."
Ryouga took a step back and quietly said,"R-r-really?"
Ranma wiped his mouth with th front of his shirt. "Yeah an she's serious
this time. Not a joke."
"Wow."
Ranma began to sob when he said,"Yeah it happened two weeks ago. Ever
since than I can only find comfort in a bottle of wine."
Ranma fell flat on his face and began to fall asleep. Ryouga looked at
Ranma's prone body and thought to himself, 'Akane is no longer engaged to Ranma.'
At that moment Ryouga remembered the gift he was going to give to Akane. Ryouga
ran down the street feeling really glad all over
---
Ryouga looked around and found (much to his annoyance) that he was lost.
'How can I get lost when I can finally reveal my feelings for Akane.' Something
else was nagging at Ryouga. Something about a girl with a name similar to
Akane's. 'It's probably not important.'
Ryouga than realized that he was in front of the Tendo dojo. Ryouga
entered the dojo and found himself looking at Soun who was crying a river of
tears. Ryouga dismissed it and walked inside the house to look for Akane.
Several hours later Ryouga found himself in Akane's room, but it was
empty. 'Strange it's night so shouldn't she be here. Hmmm.....' Ryouga was about
to leave when he found himself face to face with Nabiki Tendo. Ryouga jumped back
a couple of feet and caught his breath.
Nabiki looked at him with a slight smile on her face when she said,"Looking
for my little sister ne?"
"Uh..umm..yeah.Where is she?"
Nabiki put on a mock frown and said, "Ryouga, Ryouga you know I don't
give away information for free."
Ryouga pulled out a wad of bills and put it into Nabiki's hand,"Is that
enough?"
Nabiki smiled and said, "Quite."
Nabiki pulled out a folded piece of paper which she handed to Ryouga.
Ryouga looked at the letter and then went pale as he read it.
Dear Father,
I am sorry to do this, but I must leave. For you see I cannot love any
man. I am a lesbian and I am going to San Francisco to marry Akari Unryuu.
I am sure that Ranma will be able to run the dojo. I hope that we will be
able to meet again and you can accept what I am.
Your loving daughter,
Akane Tendo
"You sure know how to pick them don't you Ryouga?"
Ryouga was suddenly feeling bad all over.
Chapter 1
Ryouga was sitting at the table of the Tendo's dining room. The
Tendo's felt sorry for Ryouga and they all agreed to let him stay at their
house for a while (Although Ranma's thoughts on the issue was merely
a gurgle and a request for more sake.). It was the middle of the day and
Ryouga was trying to sort out his thoughts.
[Akane's a lesbian.] Ryouga felt a little lightheaded, but managed to
remain control over his equilebrium. Ryouga took a couple of deep breaths
before he went onto the next issue. [Akari's a lesbian.] This ilicited the
same response as the first revelation.
Ryouga prepared himself for the hardest task of all. [Akane and Akari are
both lesbians.] Ryouga woke up three hours later and he said ,"Maybe I'll try
that a little slower next time."
---
Ryouga had been sitting at the table all day and was quite bored. Soun
and Genma had left the house to go see an old friend in Hokaido. Nabiki had
practically dragged Ranma to school who was moaning about having to leave his
friends Jim Bean and Jack Daniels behind. Kasumi had gone off on some errands
which left Ryouga by himself.
"Hello."
Ryouga jumped away from the table and found himself looking at a
beautiful woman who was dressed in a kimono. The woman was about thirty-five and
had her hair tied in a bun.
Ryouga regained his composure and asked,"Uhh..wh-who are you?"
"Why I'm Nodoka Saotome[1]. You're Ranma's friend right?"
Ryouga was about to argue the point, but decided that he might as well
say so. "Yes I am Ranma's friend."
"Have you noticed that he has been acting rather strangely as of late."
"You could say that."
Nodoka looked Ryouga over and a smile crept over her face. "I'm sorry, but
what is your name?"
"Oh I'm sorry.Ryouga Hibiki."
Ryouga smiled at her showing his canines and Nodoka said, "Ryouga. That
is a very nice name and you do have have good fangs."
Ryouga chuckled nervously and placed his hand behind the back of his
head. Nodoka walked over next to him and took hold of his right hand. Nodoka
said, "Ryouga could you please help me with something."
Ryouga stared at her with a look of confusion and asked ,"What?"
Nodoka didn't answer and instead lead him upstairs until she stopped.
They were standing in the hallway looking at a closed door. Nodoka turned to
Ryouga and smiled. Ryouga was beginning to get very nervous and he finally asked,
"Uh..What did you want help with?"
Nodoka didn't seem to take notice of the question and said,"Ryouga do you
ever get lonely?"
"Uh..Yeah I guess so."
"You do know what two lonely people sometimes do when they're together?"
"No."
Nodoka smiled although she seemed to be getting a little irritated.
"Think."
Ryouga stood there for a second lost in thought. [Let's see what do two
lonely people do when they're together. Hmmmm.....] Ryouga suddenly had a look of
revelation and then one of pure terror. Ryouga said, "Yo-yo-you don't mean you
want to...?"
Nodoka nodded her head.
Ryouga pointed a finger at himself and squeaked out, "With me?"
Nodoka smiled and said, "Yes. Well?"
"I-I-I can't!"
Nodoka put a hand to her mouth and said ,"You don't mean you're-"
Ryouga blurted out,"No! Of course not."
Nodoka said, "Oh then what's the problem?"
Ryouga was in a very new situation and as such did what he thought was
right. He babbled. "I..you...see..Not until... I'm married."
"But I am already married."
"To another man!"
Nodoka put her hand under her chin and said thoughtfully ,"Oh yes I forgot
about that. Oh who cares about Genma! He's a stupid pig."
Ryouga winced at the last statement and said,"But it isn't right."
Nodoka opened the door to the room and said ,"Ryouga I am not forcing you
to do it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
With that Nodoka closed the door leaving Ryouga alone once again. Ryouga
had to think the situation through which was a very new thing for the lost boy.
[Okay let's do the pros: 1.She's beautiful, 2.She wants you. Now the cons:
1.She's married, 2.She's old enough to be your mother, 3.If her husband finds out
he'll kill you, 5.If her son finds out he'll kill you, 6.This is a rebound
relationship you moron it'll never work out.]
Now the choice Ryouga had to make was clear. Ryouga opened the door and
went into the room.
Chapter 2
The room was very quiet. That was something that Ryouga took notice
of. He could hear some children playing in the distance, but for the most
part he didn't hear much. There was the breathing of course, but he tried
to block it out.
He tried not to think about the fact that he was lying in bed with a
married woman. There was also the fact that her husband and son were very
strong martial artists and would in all likelyhood rip him limb from limb
if they ever heard of what happened.Unfortunately that was all that he was
thinking about. Ryouga's brain processed the whole situation and turned up
with an answer.[This is not good.]
---
Nodoka woke up to find Ryouga already dressed and heading for the door.
She asked from where she was lying on the bed,"Where are you going?"
Ryouga turned around and smiled,"Uh..well I thought I would leave before
your husband gets here."
"Oh well I shouldn't keep you from going. Thank you Ryouga."
"Thank you too, Mrs.Saotome."
Nodoka gave him an odd expression,"What did you call me?"
"Uh well," Ryouga said the next part very softly ,"Mrs.Saotome."
"Why did you call me that?"
"I'm just used to calling people that are much older than-" Ryouga cut
off his sentence as he saw Nodoka glaring at him.
"Ryouga please do not call me Mrs.Saotome. It is too formal."
"What should I call you?"
"How about Nodoka."
"I guess I could do that."
"Why don't you try."
"Okay Nodoka."
Nodoka smiled at him and said,"Maybe we could do this some other time
Ryouga."
As Ryouga left he called back into the room ,"Yes Mrs.Saotome."
Nodoka put her head in her hands and mumbled ,"Why do I even bother."
---
Ryouga was wandering around the Tendo dojo when he saw Soun and Genma
sitting at their shogi table. Ryouga started to sweat, but reminded himself
that Genma didn't know about what had happened. What caught Ryouga's
attention was that they weren't playing go or mah jhong. They seemed to be
looking at a book which was laid out on the table.
Ryouga walked up behind them and said,"What are you reading?"
Soun and Genma turned around and yelled,"Don't do that!"
"Okay,okay. So what are you reading?"
Genma adjusted his glasses and said,"As you know Ranma has been acting
less than honorably as of late and his ignored his family duty to marry one
of Soun's daughters."
Ryouga said,"I guess so. What does that have to do with what you're
reading?"
"Well we thought that we would help Ranma get over his alcoholism
through a process called re-re um..what's it called again?"
"Rehabilitation?"Ryouga asked.
"No, re-education,"Genma said.
Ryouga looked at them both as if they were demons,[1]"WHAT?! You've
gotta be joking!"
Genma gave him a harsh look and said,"We are very serious boy. We plan
to make Ranma have a greater sense of respect and honor through a long and
strenuous process of hypnosis and other tratments."
Ryouga looked at them with a disgusted expression,"God you two are sick!
Doing that type of thing to a human being is-"
[Ranma will have a greater sense of respect and honor.] was the thought
that cut through Ryouga's tyraid. [Think man! Ranma will actually apologize
for all the suffering we have gone through.] Ryouga was in ecstasy at the
thought. That is until Ryouga's rational side spoke up [Hey stupid what if
they goof up?!]
"Uh..What happens if you mess up?"
Soun looked thoughtful and said,"Hmm. I don't know what does the book
say Saotome?"
Genma flipped through the book until he reached the front page."Ah here
it is. It says 'if you do not follow all the instructions the re-educatee
will in all likelyhood become a psychopathic killer', but that's not going
to happen right Tendo?"
"Of course. Weren't we on chapter three Genma?"
"I forgot. It can't be that important."
"Agreed. Where did Ryouga run off to?"
---
[Told you so] Ryouga's rational side said.
"Aw shut up!" Ryouga threw another bottle of liqour into the bag by his
side."We gotta get rid of this stuff before Ranma gets back!"
Ryouga looked at some of the labels on the bottles.
"MD20-20[2]...Champale...Ripple? If he's going to get drunk why doesn't
he get some good stuff instead."
"Because I don't have much money."
"Ahh!!" Ryouga yelped and looked up at a very angry Ranma.
"What are ya doing to my booze Ryouga?!"
Ryouga put a hand behind the back of his head and said,"Uh..Nothing I was
just reorganizing it."
"Good. Now get out!"
Ryouga took a few steps backwards and fell out of the open window in the
room.
---
Ryouga sat on the roof of the Tendo dojo at night as he tried to think of
a plan.[Okay stealing his alcohol won't work even if I take him down he'll
probably get some more, but what will? If I don't hurry those two bakas are
going to turn him into a serial killer. Hmm... There are only two other
things he cares about more than liqour. Akane and martial arts.]
Now Ryouga was stumped. Akane wasn't there and Ranma had given up martial
arts because of it.[Bah he is such a loser I wonder what he would do if
anybody fought him.] Ryouga stood up very quickly.[That's it! I've got it!]
"I'm a genius!! Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!"
Ryouga continued laughing until he was hit by a barrage of shoes and he
fell off the roof.
The neighbors yelled,"KEEP IT DOWN!!!"
Ryouga picked himself from the ground and mumbled,"Hmph. No appreciation
for the melodramatic."
---
Ranma was sitting in his room sucking down the contents of a bottle
wrapped in a paper bag.Ranma pulled the bottle away and sighed,"You won't
leave me will you?" he asked the bottle,"Of course you won't."
Ranma suddenly felt himself being pulled away from the room.
"What's goin-" A hand clasped over Ranma's mouth.
"Don't say a thing or you'll wake up your father,"Ryouga whispered as he
cast his eyes upon the panda.
"Mgglph."
"Calm down. I'm only taking you up to the roof."
Ryouga carried Ranma out the window while still holding his hand over
Ranma's mouth. Ryouga jumped up onto the roof of the dojo and shoved Ranma
away from him.
Ranma wobbled a little bit and mumbled,"Whad do you want Ryouga?"
"Hmph. I took you up here to fight you."
Ranma took on a very bad fighting stance and said,"If that's the way ya
want it. I'll murderlize ya!"
Five seconds later Ranma was pulling his head from out of the roof of the
Tendo dojo. "How could I lose to you? And so easily?"
Ryouga smirked and said,"It's because you're weak Saotome and I'm strong!
Want to try again?"
Ranma looked incredibly angry when he said,"I'll kill you!!!"
Ranma charged at the still smiling Ryouga. [All acording to plan.]
---
It was morning and as such the Tendo's (minus one daughter/sister),Genma
and Nodoka(Eating with the rest of them for a change) were eating breakfast.
Soun and Genma were already talking about Ranma.
"Where is he Genma? I thought we were going to take him to re-educate him
when he was asleep."
"I don't know Soun. When I woke up he was gone."
At that moment a loud creaking sound was being emited from the ceiling.
Nabiki looked at the ceiling and said,"Hmm. I wonder what's happening?"
The roof caved in as an extremely battered Ryouga smashed through the
table.
Nodoka rushed over to Ryouga and yelled,"Ryouga what happened to you?"
Ryouga mumbled,"I would rather not talk about it."
Ranma jumped down through the hole of the roof and yelled,"Ha! I showed
you! You're no match for me!"
Genma and Soun looked at Ranma. Genma said,"You did that?"
"Of course I did! I couldn't let that jerk beat me! It was tough trying
to shake off all of the effects that beer, but I finally beat him!
Ha,ha,ha!!!"
Soun began to cry and said,"Truly this is a happy day!"
"Indeed it is Tendo. You know what this means..?"
"Yes I do."
"Ranma can marry one of your daughters!"
Ryouga turned his head to look at them and said,"Ughh..That's the thanks
I get."
Ryouga went unconscious and Nodoka dragged him back to her room."What was
that all about Ryouga?"
"Don't ask."
Nodoka put Ryouga onto her bed and said,"Now Ryouga please don't move.
I'm going to see what is going on?"
Nodoka left the room. Ryouga felt like his whole body was broken.[Well at
least Ranma got his fighting spirit back and now I won't have to worry about
him chopping up the neighbors into little pieces.]
Ryouga heard some loud yelling and he strained to listen to what the
people were saying.
It was Genma and Soun.
"Okay Ranma you're going to marry Kasumi!"
"Oh what a happy day!"
"Here's your sake toast boy!"
"He's not supposed to drink from the bottle!"
"Stop that Ranma! You're still a disgrace!"
"Seems like we're going to have to re-educate him after all!"
Ryouga began to cry when he said,"This sucks."
[1]In Soun's case this wouldn't be far off though
[2]I don't know if I spelled that right. Email me if I didn't
Okay don't worry Ranma won't become a psycho killer. (Probably) I might even set
him up with one of his fiancees. Which one would you want him to be paired with
besides Akane of course. Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne