"TOP TEN REJECTED LINES...."

*With a few comments by Lord Archive.
* I will attempt to put several of these lines into a fanfic in a
believable manner.


(A Collection of Top Ten Lists for Ranma 1/2)


>From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a work of Fiction.  All Characters and Landmarks are the 
property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Video, Kitty Films, Viz Video, 
Shonen Sunday, and anyone else who legally owns the rights.


TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR RANMA-CHAN SAOTOME

Drum Roll Please....


10. ARRRGH!  CRAMP! CRAMP!
* Distraction attempt.

9. Nice Kitty, Pretty Kitty....
* Maybe in Necko-phobia fanfic

8. Kodachi, I love you....Make me your own!
* After a bad run in with a love potion.

7. Can I give you a backrub Pop?
* Before shouting, "TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!"

6. The hell with my honor!  Nabiki, Prepare to die!
* After Nabs sold him to Kodachi as a sex slave.

5. I feel pretty, oh so pretty....
* Might of said this in the anime episode he thought he was a girl.

4. Like this?  Is this how you like it Happosai?
*(S)he screamed in anger as he pouned the leech into the ground.

3. Akane's been kidnapped?  Aw, let the bitch go!
* As a female blood hound is set on the trail of Akane's kidnapper.
	(this one isn't my comment.)

2. And give up my curse?!  Never!
* Akane likes it too much ;)

And the number one thing Ranma would never say....


1. Oh my! 
* Not that unlikely after living with the Tendos for so long.


Ta Da!!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR AKANE TENDO


10. Oh yes Kunou darling!  Spout your irreverent poetry to me!
* Kuno got some of the love potion. Argh.

9. I wonder how I would look with an eyebrow ring?
* >Blink< Er.. next

8. I can't practice martial arts now!  I'm drying my nails!
* Um next..

7. You know, when I really think about it, Gosunkugi is pretty sexy....
* Gosunkugi finally got a spell right.

6. Ouch! Not so rough!  I'm fragile.
* Um not saying anything on this one.

5. P-Chan and Ryouga are one and the same?!?!  Cool!
* Then spends the rest of the series making sure how Ranma feels for her
* by using P-Chan to make Ranma jealous.

4. Me cook?  Are you out of your mind?!?
* There are hordes of monsters around that I have to help Ranma kill, even
* if he doesn't want me to.

3. Why jog every morning when I can be carried?
* I'd say something, but it would be Hentai.

2. Take my panties Happosai!  It's not like I wear them anyway!
* After getting cursed with Nannichan, panties aren't exactly a good thing
* to wear.

And the number one rejected line for Akane Tendo is....


1. I love you.....Dr. Tofu.
* Early in series, in a dream.

Ta Da!!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR TATEWAKI KUNOU

Drum Roll Please....

Akane: Hey! How come I didn't get a drum roll for my lines!?

I forgot, okay?  Now where were we....

Akane: BAKA!

*WHAM!*


10. Thank you for all your help Sasuke.  I really appreciate it!
* Before he walked off to a battle he knew he would not return from.

9. I am the Blue Thunder of Furink.....Ah, screw it.
* After he gains some sanity.

8. My Bokken....I love it SO MUCH!
* Won't say anything about this. >SHUDDER<

7. I'm not that great, Ranma is much better than I'll ever be.
* More sanity found.

6. I'm sick of the pig-tailed girl!  I want nude photos of YOU, Nabiki!
* I think he might say that after it becomes clear that Akane and p-t girl
* what nothing to do with him.

5. I have no need of my bokken anymore...."TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!"
* Yep, no one would teach him this.

4. Akane said no?  Okay then I'll leave quietly.
* Well she said no, beat him to a pulp, declared love for Ranma, kissed
* Ranma, beat Kuno to a pulp, said no, threaten to make Kuno a woman, said
* no, beat him to a pulp, showed him her wedding photo and ring, malleted
* him, said no...

3. Nude Photos of the pig-tailed girl!  Going cheap!
* After someone proved that she is Ranma.

2. I have decided to pursue a life in the field of accounting.
* So as to better understand my true love... Nabiki. - Eh... Sounds like
* this should be on the list.

and the number one rejected line for Kunou is....


1. Cologne.  I love you.  I would date with you!
* Cologne: Ack... Must find antidote the to love potion. 
*   - Even Cologne wouldn't want Kuno.

Ta Da!!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR SHAMPOO

Uhh....my head......Can I have a Drum Roll Please....


10. The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain.
* Not a chance for this one.

9. *I* am Shampoo.  Hear *Me* Roar!
* Spoken in Chinese.

8. Ranma!  Shampoo not dressed!  Get out!
* Something along this line was done in the brooch incident.

7. Shampoo tired of chasing Ranma!  Shampoo want to be Hooters girl!
* >Blink< Okay... next...

6. Girl type Ranma!  Shampoo Sue!
* "Sorry, but I'm stuck as a girl," Ranma said.

5. Shampoo man trapped in woman's body!
* Ranma to Akane: You didn't have to hit her that hard.

4. Aiya!  Gosunkugi too skilled for Shampoo!
* As Gosunkugi unleashed the full might of magic on Shamps.

3. Shampoo no kiss on first date, Ranma.
* Kiss comes before date.

2. Ai ren, You no want Shampoo?  Okay, Shampoo marry Genma instead.
* What potion did this?!

And the number one rejected line for Shampoo is....


1. Shampoo a little bit country, Shampoo a little bit rock and roll.
* Not a clue on Shamps's musical tastes. She might like country. >shudder<

Ta Da!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR UKYOU KOUNJI

Drum Roll Please....


10. If I have to cook one more Okonomiyaki, I'm going to scream!
* Because, once I'm done cooking, I get to visit Ranchan!

9. Tsubasa!  You look so cute in that dress!
* Before she sends him flying over Nerima.

8. You're a really good friend Shampoo!
* As they mourn the mutual loss of Ranma.

7. I wish I could be as feminine as Akane....
* She does have good taste in clothes.

6. Maybe I shouldn't bound my breasts anymore....I'll just go topless!
* As the passion spice takes full effect.

5. Cup Ramen has got to be the best food in the world!
* All right Shampoo, what did you put in it?

4. Ah, who cares about my restaurant?  I'm going to the casinos!
* With Ranchan!

3. Of course I forgive you Genma!  What's ten years between friends?
* After all, you let me marry Ranchan. (I will never write this though.)

2. Ranchan, I have a confession....Tsubasa and I are more alike that you 
think....
* We both chase after someone who doesn't love us.

And the number one rejected line for Ukyou Kuonji is....


1. Ranchan looks even cuter as a girl.
* But as a guy he's 100% hunk.

Ta Da!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR MOUSSE....

Drum Roll Please....

(The Drum finally breaks from repeated use.  Megane sighs and brings out 
a electronic keyboard.  After programming it, he pushes a button and it 
plays an electronic drum roll sample as he continues.)


10. Goodbye glasses, Hello contacts!
* As he goes blind as he can't shut his eyes over the huge lenses.

9. Weapons aren't the only thing I keep under this robe....
* I keep campimg gear, photo albums, chairs, kitchen sink...

8. Steamed duck!  My favorite!
* After all food made is processed and imitation. No duck is actualy in
* it.

7. Here I am Ranma-Chan!  The father of your children!
* >shudder< And there are fanfics where he said similar things.

6. Ranma, could you please tell Shampoo not to beat me up anymore?
* After all, you got Akane to stop hitting you.

5. I can slice!  I can dice!  I can even make french fries!
* Showing his cullenary skills at the Cat Cafe.

4. Shampoo....I have a confession....I'm just using you to get to your 
great-grandmother....
* Not a chance of this.

3. I'm going for the world record for most hidden weapons on a body!
* If their was a record, he would try to break it.

2. Mousse defeat you Ranma!  Mousse love Shampoo!
* As he attempts to become more like Shamps.

and the number one rejected line for Mousse is....


1. I don't need to see you Shampoo, my hands tell me all I need to know.
* Can't say. It would be Hentai.

Ta Da!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR RYOUGA HIBIKI

Simulated Drum Roll Please....


10. Second house to the right, you can't miss it ma'am.
* It's actually the third house on the left.

9. How many headbands am I wearing anyway!?  I can't get rid of them!!!
* Something like it was said in a fanfic, where the bandana was the cause
* of his lack of direction sense.

8. Can someone please open this jar of pickles for me?
* I'd break it.

7. Pass the pork chops please.
* After married to Akari for several years.

6. Say Akane, you're looking a little chubby!  Have you gained weight?
* Akane: No you Baka! <Mallet Smash> I'm pregnant. - This will be a scene
* in Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues.

5. Ranma!  Prepare to die....your hair.
* Otherwise that isn't much of a disguise.

4. I hate sleeping with Akane!  She snores like a rusty chainsaw!
* I'd rather sleep with Akari.

3. For god's sake, Akane, learn to cook!
* After he's over her.

2. Ranma-Chan, can I stare at your naked body until my nose stops 
bleeding?
* I don't want to look stupid on my honeymoon.

And the number one rejected line for Ryouga Hibiki is....


1. It's not an umbrella!  It's a parasol!
* After he got lost in Paris.

Ta Da!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR NABIKI TENDO

What did the cannibal say after eating the clown?

That tasted funny....

Rimshot Please....


10. I let my fists do the bargaining for me.
* Hey, slave. (Ranma walks over) Beat the crap out of him. (Nabs owns
* Ranma)

9. Money is the root of all evil!
* And I'm evil to the bone.

8. I keep the best photos of Ranma-Chan for myself....
* Hentai, Hentai

7. I don't want your yen Kuno-baby, I only want your love!
* and your yen.

6. Ryouga is P-Chan?  Ah, I'll let that slide.
* Because Akane told me to.

5. Let me cook dinner tonight, Kasumi....
* I'm not going to let Akane do it... Hello Cat Cafe.

4. I'm rich in spirit and that's all I'll ever need.
* Because its worth billions of yen to the guy in the red suit and horns.

3. Are my shorts too tight?  Maybe I should wear something more modest.
* Don't want him to bleed to death on the date.

2. Daddy, could you engage me to someone too?
* There is this rich family you see...

And the number one rejected line for Nabiki Tendo is....


1. Think nothing of it.
* Said in several fanfics... normally causes facefaults.

Ta Da!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR HAPPOSAI

Drum Sticks please.....

(Someone passes a bucket of KFC to Megane.)

The OTHER kind!

(The same someone passes some wooden drumsticks.  Megane proceeds
to play "Wipeout" during the next list....)


10. Jock Straps.....Must have.....Jock Straps.....

blink< next...

9. Ranma, m'boy, Have I ever told you about my tour of duty in Vietnam?
* So many woman, so little time.

8. Uggh!  Girls!  All those curves...soft...supple...round....Blech!!!
* Cologne laughed hysterically as her spell took effect.

7. I never wanted to be a hentai.....I always wanted....to be a 
librarian!
*After being drenched in spring of drowned virtous man.

6. Is ten dollars too much for a tip?  I'm sorry, I don't have any 
change.....
*Thanks for all the panties," he said as he left the strip club.

5. Genma....Soun....Have some sake.  My way of saying I'm sorry....
* Now, you two are under my control with that special potion, BWAHAHAHa...

4. Sweet-O!  A copy of Reader's Digest!
* It's only the cover, the inside is a Hentai mag.

3. Can someone lend me a magnet?  My arthritis is acting up again....
* Sympathy attack. the magnet is for something else.

2. Nabiki!  You should be ashamed of yourself!  Cover those shorts up!
* The shorts have cute animals embroidered on them.

And the number one rejected line for Happosai is....


1. Put on your shirt, Ranma-Chan.  You'll catch your death of cold....
* This is word for word said in the Anime, when Happy was dying.

Ta Da!!!!



TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR KASUMI TENDO

Orchestrated Score Please....

(A 40 piece Orchestra appears behind Megane and belts out a particularly 
intense rendition of "In the Hall of the Mountain King")

Thank you.

* Can't make too many comments on these. Potion or possession is needed.

10. I wonder how I would look in red leather?
* I didn't realize how hentai Tofu was.

9. Akane, either marry Ranma or step aside!
* >BLINK< She may do this after a couple years if nothing gets resolved.

8. My!  Dr. Tofu really is a blind stumbling idiot isn't he?
* Stress finally got to her.

7. Father, Genma and I wish to be married once the divorce is cleared.

6. I'll pay double what Kuno would for those pictures of Ranma-Chan....
* Kasumi wa Hentai?

5. Geez Nabiki, why'd have to be such a bitch?
* As her private world collapses.

4. Mmmmmmm.....No wonder Ranma likes to wear boxers....

3. (sung while cleaning) WHEN I SHOW MY PIECE!  COMPLAINTS CEASE!

2. Get your own dinner!  I'm going to veg today.


And the number one rejected line for Kasumi Tendo is....


1. Oh Shit!
* She been hanging around Ranma too long, hasn't she.

Ta Da!!!!


THE END.


There you have it.  I'd like to thank Jorge A. Pratt and others for 
prereading some of these lists and offering suggestions.  Addition C&C 
is more than welcome.  ;)  (fcasper@yesic.com)



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