This is my first fic.
TOTALLY INSANE AND SCREWED UP PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS
<cheesy fanfare>
THE LIMITED EDITION SPISHACK ALARM CLOCKS AD
DISCLAIMER: All anime characters are owned by huge corporations that could 
easily smear me across the pavement if they wanted to. I do not own Spishack 
Industries. That belongs to MAD TV, the finest in late night television. This 
ad is formed in the Spishack style shown on MAD TV.

Let the fic begin...

[A man wakes up to your run-of-the-mill alarm clock]

Announcer: Are you tired of waking up to the same alarm clock day after day?
Don't you wish that there were a more exciting way to wake up?

Man: I wish there was a better way!

Announcer: Now there is a better way! Now, with the new Spishack Industries 
Limited Edition Anime Alarm Clocks!

Man: Wow! Thanks, Spishack!

Announcer: Our current set features well known anime characters such as Tendo 
Akane...

[An Akane figure is standing on a digital alarm clock stand. The clock hits 
7:00.]

Akane: OTAKU NO BAKA!!!

[The man in Lum PJs is malleted awake.]

Announcer: Kuno Kodachi...

[A Kodachi figure is standing on a clock/pedestal. The clock hits 7:00]

Kodachi: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The otaku dies of a massive heart attack]

Announcer: Lum...

[Lum is sitting on a pedestal/clock. It hits 7:00. Lum stands up.]

Lum: That's enough, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lightning blasts out from her hand, zapping the otaku awake.]

Announcer: Happosai...

[Happosai is standing there with a clock on his bag. It hits 7:00]

Happosai: SWEETO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Happosai "jumps" and glomps the female otaku.]

Otaku: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: and our most recent addition to the Anime Alarm Clock line, 
Jyusenkyo Guide!!!!!!!

[Guide is standing there with a clock on his flip sign. It hits 7:00. Water 
falls on the slumbering otaku and the sign flips to say nyanniichuan.]

Guide: You get dumped on by nyannichuan. Legend say that a young girl drown in 
spring 1500 year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take the body of a young 
girl.

[Otaku checks herself]

Otaku:AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer <really fast voice>: Spishack is not responsible for death and/or
medical problems resulting from electrocution, malleting, shock, and/or weird 
Chinese curses. Offer not available in stores. Purchase of these clocks have 
been outlawed in all 50 continental states and Japan. If you flame us with
e-mail, we will hunt you down, kidnap you, drag you to Spishack Industries, 
and test all new clocks and other fine Spishack products on you. If you use 
snail mail, we will hunt you down and kill you with a single shot to the head,
executioner-style.