Ranma 1/2 - All mixed up
Disclaimer: The extremely funny and unique characters belong and are
copyrighted to the talanted and humourous Rumiko Takahashi, Viz
Communications, Shogakukan Inc. and other such clever companies who know
something good when they see it (ie, Ranma 1/2).
Just 'e' me if you've missed any parts at.... stroma@globalnet.co.uk
OR if there's no reply, try... eve147@hotmail.com
(XXX) = actions/description
<XXX> = Chinese (mandarin, I think, whatever the Chinese Amazons speak)
~XXX~ = sound effects
[XXX] = signs (mostly Genma-panda)
onna-Ranma = female Ranma
Chapter 9: History Repeating
(Righty-ho, we're back on the high street (a very long high street) at a
part where designer shops cluster round together, and yes it's still
raining (call it a mini-monsoon). A pretty but tarted-up lady and pastel
wearing teenage boy exit one of these fancy shops, clutching bags of
expensive gifts. They stand just underneath the shop's canopy)
Nodoka: I can't believe that they were jus' giving clothes away! What
_darling_ people they were!
Pantyhose Taro: And they sewed my name onto everything! What do you
think? (twirls round in his new tight pink top and baggy trousers with
sequins, it looks like a long skirt)
Nodoka: (claps hands together) perfectly perfect!! I wonder what my
sweetie son bought? A flowery dress, I hope.
Pantyhose Taro: Are we going to see Ranma-kun?
(Nodoka nods in positive.)
Pantyhose Taro: (jumps up in happiness) Yayayaaaay! Let's gooooo!!
(Both walk out from underneath the canopy and the rain soaks them. They
stop dead in their tracks, each still clutching to their designer bags.
They turn and look at each other.)
Pantyhose Taro: (the steam coming off him in anger stops the rain from
touching him cold) Hey, lady with the bad perm, who are you and why am I
carrying your bags?! Cos, they certainly ain't mine! Did fem-boy put ya
up to this?!
Nodoka: I have no idea where I am, young man, and I would appreciate it
if you didn't use such a tone with your elders. It's rude! (notices
Taro's clothes) What are you wearing, boy, it's so feminine and...
_unmanly_. (begins to pull something out of inter-dimensional space,
something long and pointy and sharp....)
Pantyhose Taro: (looks down) gaaaah! What the...?! Lady, you obviously
had something to do with this dress thing, didn't ya?!
Nodoka: I don't have to take such stick from such... a degenerate...
Pantyhose Taro: what's to stop me, eh??! (finds something sharp and
silvery pointing him straight between the eyes.) Uhhh... alright already!
(thinks) She's quick!
Nodoka: my katana will stop such insolence!
(Pantyhose Taro's anger calms down but this means that he isn't in a
red-hot rage anymore and the cold rain finally falls on his skin cold.)
Pantyhose Taro: (feels the change starting) (thinks) this'll get her
katana outta my face... heh....
(He transforms from a human boy to a crane standing with an eel... no,
that's not right... an eel on top of an ox holding a crane with
tentacles..? No, that's not it! Arrggh! He transforms into something
stupid, alright?!)
Pantyhose-cursed: (thinks) Now, to get her to leave me alone. (makes
roaring sounds) ROAR!! ROAR!! ROOAARR!!
(It's late OK? I'm not at my most creative!)
Nodoka: My, my, I see you got cursed, too, like my son. Your throat
sounds terrible, do you want some medicine for that?
Pantyhose-cursed: ....
(The rain stops suddenly and so I run out of ideas for the high street...
The view once again flies away from the hazardous high street, has a nice
look at the rainbow-tinged sky, wonders where to go next and plumps for
the warm, centrally-heated Tendo Dojo...
Inside the Dojo, a now male Ranma is sitting at the table, watching TV,
an empty kettle beside him, with an icepack near his swollen eye.)
Ranma: stupid, violent chick... How's I supposed to know she was already
in the bathroom? (grumbles away to himself)
(Crying is heard from another room... go on, guess who it is...)
Soun: (lying down) after all my trouble to get the decorations and the
clothes! When will those two ever learn??! (starts blubbering away)
(right.. OK... back to Ranma, methinks...)
Ranma: stupid macho chick.... (looks around, checking no-one's there)
.....though she did look really cute in that dress, beautiful in fact....
(gets a dreamy look in his eyes)
Nabiki: (pops up outta nowhere with tape recorder) oh really?
Ranma: (freaks out) ahh! Where'd you come from?
Nabiki: that's for me to know... and you to pay to find out.
Ranma: back to normal then, Nabiki.
Nabiki: I have to regain my financial stabilty, though...
Ranma: bet you're broke as well! (grins)
Nabiki: uh, yeah Ranma. (waves recorder) So... how much do you want to
pay for your newly recovered fiancees not to find out... Kodachi'll be
here soon...
Ranma: how do you kn -- oh never mind... (unhappily) How much then am I
in your debt?
Nabiki: about 5000 yen.
Ranma: what?! For just that.. recorder thing?! You gotta be joking!
Nabiki: not just that recording, (pulls out some photos and shows them)
these too. Several parties have already shown interest in purchase...
Ranma: you wouldn't... aw heck, yes you would!
Nabiki: (smug look) you're beginning to pay attention; good.
~Creak!~
~Click~
(ie.. someone opening and closing the front door)
Ranma: who's that?
Kasumi: just me! I'm going to get changed! (slips upstairs)
Nabiki: ...why would she need to get changed in such a hurry?
Ranma: (innocent look) I don't know.
~Creak!~
~Click~
Ukyo: (comes running through) (still in her grungy-ish outfit) (quite
upset) Oh, Ran-chan!
Ranma: hiya Ucchan! (unfazed)
Nabiki: Ranma.. you know what's going on, don't you?
Ranma: who, me?
Ukyo: Ran-chan! Someone has wrecked my restuarant and written horrible
things about you all over it!!
Ranma: it's OK Ucchan, I know who it was.
Ukyo: you do, honey? Who's the jackass, then?
Ranma: (bluntly) you.
Ukyo: me?
Ranma: yes, you.
Ukyo: (disbelief) me??!
Nabiki: I think we've established its you, Ukyo. Take a look in the
mirror, there's one in the hallway.
(Ukyo trots out of the room and over to the mirror)
(A few seconds later...)
Ukyo: aaaaahhhhhh! What... what...?!
Ranma: I can explain, Ucchan... it's nothin' to worry about.
Rosuke: (sitting at table) no. I'll do that.
Everyone: where'd you come from?!
Rosuke: doesn't matter...
Ranma: hey, you're Rosuke Saotome!
Nabiki: who is...?
Ranma: my great uncle! He fought the Chinese Amazons in a brave, bloody
battle in which he had to sacrifice true love in order for honour to be
restored to the Saotome line!
Rosuke: s-somethin' like that....
~Rumble...~
~Crash!~
Shampoo: (steps through hole of last remaining wall) Nihao Ranma! (glomps
onto him) Shampoo so glad you no drugged anymore!
Ranma: how could this get --
Kodachi: (in black-dyed jumpsuit) oh, darling Ranma! I shall save you
from that vixen's grasp!
Shampoo: (stands up) who bad-taste-in-clothes girl call vixen?!
Ranma: -- worse...
Kuno: (walks through the opening also) Saotome! I demand an answer for
this! (shoves the photo in Ranma's face. It is a picture of "the kiss")
How dare you defile my innocent Akane!!
Ranma: hey Nabiki, I thought --
Nabiki: I never said that I hadn't sold anyone else the pictures. (smiles
innocently)
Rosuke: (to himself) man, this is deja vu! Must be a Saotome curse or
somethin' I passed down, somehow!
Kasumi: (enters room in normal dress) I see your friends have decided to
come and see you. Do they want something to drink?
Everyone except Ranma and Rosuke (who doesn't know Kasumi): Kasumi!!!
Your hair!!! Oh, Kami!!!
Kasumi: so no-one wants a drink then? OK, I'll get started on dinner.
(goes into the kitchen)
Kodachi: (to Shampoo) I think we were about to fight, common girl. Shall
we begin?
Shampoo: (to Kodachi) girl in black, DIEE!
Rosuke: no, Shampoo, don't cause any more trouble!
Shampoo: (turns round) I recognise voice... Uncle Rosuke!! (Runs to him)
I no see you for ages!
Everyone else: _uncle Rosuke_??!!
Rosuke: my favourite little niece! (gets caught up in bear hug from
Shampoo)
Ranma: but that means... that I'm related to Shampoo!! (turns pale)
Rosuke: don't worry Ranma, I'm only her uncle-in-law. Her mother was born
before I arrived in the village. (to Shampoo) Settle down, niece! Now,
why don't you go get somethin' to eat from Kasumi? Can't fight on an
empty stomach!
Shampoo: yes Uncle! (runs to the kitchen)
(The 2 Saotomes breath a sigh of relief)
Ranma: hey Nabiki, you've been awful quiet. Nabiki? Where 'd ya go?
(Nabiki's standing away from the crowds with Kuno)
Ranma: Nabiki! What are you doin' that for?
Nabiki: Right, that'll be 5000 yen for the pictures of Akane in a wedding
dress. (thinks) Thanks Tsubasa! (outloud) And 3000 yen for the negatives
of "the kiss" photo.
Kuno: (pays up and takes photos) oh, Akane, so sweet and pure! (leaves)
Kodachi: elder brother, do wait and let me burn the photo of that Tendo
girl daring to touch my Ranma-sama! (goes after him)
Ranma: man, things are finally getting quieter!
(noises in kitchen)
Mousse: Oh, Shampoo, I've found you!
~Clang!~
Shampoo: (in kitchen) Mousse! Why you hug frying pan?!
Nabiki: everything's normal again, I see.
Akane: (upstairs) oh, nooo!!
Ranma: (runs upstairs) Akane?!
(Akane is standing in her bedroom with only a towelling robe on, kneeling
down next to passed out P-chan.)
Akane: (sees Ranma) P-chan entered my room while I was
getting dressed and his nose bled and he just fainted!
Ranma: can't think why...
(Half-hour later...)
(Everyone -- Shampoo, Ukyo, Ranma, Akane, Nodoka (hair unpermed), Mousse,
Rosuke and Kasumi -- are sitting, cramped, round the table eating
Kasumi's lovely, undrugged, dinner. Rosuke and Ranma are telling everyone
what happened to them today)
Rosuke: ...and then the real rain started and you all turned ta normal!
Ryoga: (jumps inbetween Ranma and Akane) may I have some too, Kasumi?
(smiles)
Kasumi: of course you may! For some reason, there's a lot more than there
usually
is.
Akane: why hello, Ryoga. You look very happy, what's happened?
Ryoga: (goes incredibly red and starts fidgiting) I.. uh... y'see...
n-nothing...
Ranma: (back in his usual clothes) (teasing) hey, P-chan, what's with the
wet hair? The rain was ages ago, wasn't it?
Ryoga: (even redder) ...you!
Akane: Ranma, stop teasing Ryoga! He helped you repair the walls, didn't
he?
Ranma: (scowls at Ryoga) (thinks) that's only cos you asked him!
(Everyone continues to enjoy their meal, with Rosuke diverting Shampoo's
attention away from Ranma while also trying to keep Mousse quiet)
Nodoka: I can't help thinking we've forgotten someone...
Kasumi: my father's still sleeping.
Nodoka: that's not it.
Ranma: P-chan's missing.
Ryoga: (blushes) ....
Nodoka: (shakes head) no, not P-chan... I can't think. Must be
nothing!
(Meanwhile.. in a monastry up in the hills, far away from Tokyo... A monk
stops praying in the middle of a ceromony. The monk next to him notices.)
Monk #1: (thinks) why do I keep thinking off special fried rice, with
shrimp chow mein and sushi?
Monk #2: (quietly) What's the matter, Brother Saotome?
Genma: I don't know. I just felt this incredible sense of loss, Brother
Sanzenin.
Mikado: How odd, I've had those feelings too, today. (thinks) Why do I
keep thinking of annoying cute things and the opposite sex when I should be
praying?
End of chapter 9....
(aka THE END)
Finished... at last! C&C taken with utter gratitude and thanks! I haven't
actually read any manga with Nodoka or Pantyhose Taro, just synopses and
fanfics, so characterisation on them is also needed!
If you posted any C&C to the FFML for chapter 8, could you please send it
to me as well, since I was unsubscribed. The fact is I still am. So if
you send the FFML any C&C on this chapter (not discouraged ^_^) please
send me it as well. :)
Oh, and Ranma info needed. Can anyone tell me where Nodoka and Ryoga's
houses are? Are they in Nerima, in Tokyo, or some place completely
different? And where about is Ukyo from?
After revisions for this chapter are done, I'll be sending out the whole
darn revised thing! ^_^
Ja matta!
Harper.