Otaku no Ranma
a self-insertion fic by P-R-P-Chan
part 1
Andrew sat on the sidewalk outside the Nekohanten, still more than slightly
tipsy.
"I wonder what happened to my TV?" Andrew asked to nobody.
The question was answered for him (sort of) as a scene down the street
comes into play. Ranma, running as fast as possible, being chased by Akane,
wielding an immense mallet, moving towards the dazed Andrew.
"Akane! Cut it out already! Why do you have to be such a tomboy all the
time?" Ranma asked of his fiancee, looking at her over his shoulder, trying
hard to soothe her anger, but inflaming it instead.
"What did you say!?!?!? RANMA NO BAKA!!" Akane scremed, as she swung her
mallet down viciously. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who's
view your looking at, Ranma tripped over Andrew, smashing his face on the
concrete. The scary part is that he got lucky. Akane's mallet strike,
while missing Ranma by a mile, does connect solidly with a target, Andrew's
head.
"Ooops.. umm.. are you ok?" Akane asked as she bent overto stare him in the
face.
"I.. guessssss.. so," Andrew responded, dazed and not seeing straight. He
tries to get up, falls back down, then stands back up and dusts imself off.
".. you seem kinda familiar.. have I met you before?"
"No.. I don't think so.. I'm Akane Tendo, nice to meet you.. and umm..
sorry bout that."
"A-A-A...Ak..Akane Tendo!?!?!" stares at her in disbelief before starting
to mumble to himself 'this isn't happening, this isn't happening..'
"What? Is there something wrong with my name?" Akane asked, somewhat angered.
"Akane Tendo, daughter of Soun Tendo of the Tendo Dojo?"
"Yes, that's me.. umm.. how do you know me?"
"It's just that," Andrew cracks a grin, "I'm your FIANCEE!"
"Nani?" Akane took her turn staring at him in shock. She doesn't notice
the fact that Andrew is still smiling.
"Just joking..I've always wanted to say that." He couldn't take it anymore,
falling to the ground breaking out in laughter.
"YOU JERK!" Akane yelled, pulling out her so recently used Dimensional
Hammer, swinging it down towards it's last victim once more. It's stopped
in full motion by a single of Andrew's fingers, shattering the massive weapon.
"What! How.." Akane started.
"..did.." Andrew continuued.
"I/You do that?" the finished together.
Both lose themselves in shock, staring off into space. By this time Ranma
has regained his feet, walking over to them, and looks Andrew over.
"Hey man, nice move!" Ranma commented to the stunned boy. This shook him
up even more.
"No way... this isn't happening, first I meet Akane then I use the Bakusai
Tenketsu and now this!" points an accusatory finger at Ranma.
"...And now what?" Ranma responded, not in the best of moods.
"I can't deal with this, bad enough everything else but I'm not in the mood
to deal with any aquatransexual." Andrew whined to himself.
"Aquatran-what? That's it.. let's fight." Ranma said, barely containg his
anger at somewhaat talking down to him. Andrew looks as if he's about to
back out, but isn't given the time as he's forced to dodge a kick thrown byt
Ranma, using one of those patented Ranma low-gravity jumps. He's still
trying to speak when Ranma launches a jumping kick at him. Andrew dives
forward, and under the kick, Ranma landing on his feet behind him. Instead
of just cushioning the blow with his hands, Andrew slows himself down, and
then pushes off with all his force, landing a flying kick that Ranma turns
to accept right in the jaw. As Ranma's is sent sprawling, Andrew lands and
is in further shock as to what he's done.
"Now I'm really mad!" Ranma called, rising to his feet.
"Just wait..." He didn't have time to finish as Ranma cut him off, rushing
forward to meet him.
"Kachuu Tenshin Ama.." Andrew, seeing what Ranma's is doing, continues the
sentence with him. "..guriken!"
Ranma's chestnut fists are met, and blocked, by Andrew's. They both break
off, jumping back a few feet.
"No more pulling punches... Mouko Takabisha!" A blazing beam of chi shoots
towards Andrew who sprawls to the ground trying to avoid the worst of it,
but still gets quite a blow to the side.
"Wow.. I finally got to see it.." Andrew mumbled, half dead.
"Ranma!" Akane yells running forward, "Stop being such a bully!" She belts
him, sending Ranma flying into LEO.
"I'm sorry about him, he's always such a jerk, always picking on people who
can't defend themselves.. so what's your name anyways?"
"I'm.. Andrew..." that's all he managed to say before passing out from his
injuries.
***
The scene outside the Ucchan was nice and quiet, almost serene. Until a
martial artist named Ranma Saotome arrived, Landing headfirst on the
concrete. Ukyou rushed out, accustomed as she was to that same noise.
"Ranchan! What happened?"
"It was Akane.. said I was being a bully.."
" 'Picking' on P-Chan again?"
"Nah.. Just got in a fight with some guy."
"What'd he do? Hit on Akane? Claim he was on of your fiancees?" Ukyou
giggled with her last comment.
"No he called me an aquatransexual.. whatever that means.."
"Ranma! are you sure you don't know him?" Ukyou asked almost frantically.
"Positive." Ranma repied.
"Then I wonder how he knows about your curse.."
"What's the curse got to do with it?"
"Ranchan, you should really pay attention in class.."
[Begin Flashback]
The class is sitting down, bored for themost part, listening to the teacher
drone on. Ukyou is staring ahead, attentive, unlike Ranma who's quietly
snoring at his desk.
"..so in times of decrease in either the male or female population, these
frogs as well as being semi-aquatic, are transexual; capable of changing
gender in order to ensure the their survival. Now if you'll all turn to
page...."
[End Flashback]
"So you're saying he knows about my curse?" Ranma asked.
"Exactly." Ukyou responded.
"Listen Ucchan.. sorry to run.. but I've got to go talk to this guy.."
"How do you know where to find him?"
"Well he was pretty out of it, so knowing Akane, she's probably brought him
back home to try and nurse him back to health." With that, Ranma ran off.
***
Genma and Soun, as always, sit across from each other, playing shogi, more
or less by the rules (although more less than more). Kasumi brings some tea
for the two, placing it on the floor next to them, when..
"Kasumi, come help me!" Akane's voice called.
"Akane? What's the matter?" Kasumi answered,just as her question was
answered, Akane choosing that moment to stumble into the room, Andrew draped
over her back.
"Oh my.. Akane what happened?"
"Ranma was being a bully again."
"Well, why didn't you bring him to Dr.Tofu's..." Kasumi trailed off before
starting again, "OH my that's right. He's gone to visit his mother today.
Well why don't you go get some bandages while I check out his wounds."
"Hai" Akane runs off to get the first aid kit. As she leaves, Ranma enters.
"Hey Akane... Ah there he is!" Ranma goes over to Andrew's prone form and
starts shaking him. Andrew slowly opens his eyes.
"How do you know about my curse.." Ranma is cut off as Andrew flips him
through the door and into the koi pond. Andrew slowly gets to his feet as
Ranma-chan emerges from the water.
"I think you meant 'did'" Andrew said, smirking.
"Damn you!" Ranma charges at Andrew, who sidesteps, pulling something out
form his coat.
"Here.." Andrew tosses it to him, Ranma catching it reflexively. He looks
down, and then a moment of recognition, followed immediately by a large
explosion as one of Happosai's happodaikarin blew up. As the dust clears,
Ranma is once again lying in the pond, this time unconcious. Akane
re-enters, running in with the bandages.
"Kasumi I got the.." Akane looks around the room, "What happened?"
"Sorry about that," Andrew answered, walking forwards. "I think Ranma needs
them more than me though...." Trails off as he slumps to the ground
unconcious, leaving Akane to stare at the two sprawled forms in shock.
End Part 1
scary as it seems, this is my longest fic, having 30 other page of short
form story which I still have to write out.. remember this is punishment for
a deed I won't name, so I will not be writing anything new (this was all
done over a year and a half ago) just posting it.. The only reason I never
burnt my notes on this, was because (even if I am biased as hell) I actually
liked what I wrote.. mainly because it was a form of psychiatric help for
me, at the time I was really depressed, and having nothing more to life than
Ranma, I wanted to be part of it.. another reason I posted this is because
of Mike Loader's essay on New Characters.. and I just wanted to show that I
could do it as bad as anyone :)
P-R-P-Chan
P-R-P-Chan's Pathetic Little Place
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/6291/
The Ranma ½ Fanfic Library
http://piros.ml.org/p-r-p-chan/