Note: this MSTing is based on another MSTing that isn't quite finished
yet.  So if it appears to be completely out of any continuity you've heard
of, now you know why.

FYI, Jennifer Sakachi and Eileen Pearcy are Sailors Orion and America,
respectively, and the heroines (sort of) of my Sailor Orion series, just
so you don't think they popped out of nowhere (which they did).


	Jennifer Sakachi tread down the familiar path to the fourth
subbasement, room 103438.  There, she met the usual suspects: Eileen
Pearcy and Usagi Tsukino.  The fact that one of them was royalty didn't
really faze them anymore.

	"So," asked Jen as they waited outside the chamber, "what's up
this week?"

	"Another 20th century fanfic," answered Eileen.

	"Really?" asked Jen.  They'd had nothing *but* 20th century
fanfics ever since this project had started.  It's goal: to learn more
about how the public perceived the senshi before it was even confirmed
that there *were* senshi.  Jen personally thought it was punishment,
but....

	"Hai," answered Usagi.  "We've got an excerpt this time.  Part 12
of who knows how many."

	"What?!?"

	"Well, our writer seems to like this one," said Eileen,
momnetarily breaking the fourth wall.  "He says we'll like it too."

	"That's what he said about Anniversaries," said Jen darkly.

	"es, and if I recall correctly, all records of that experiment
were put under lock and key after the comments you made during it!"

	"One silly mistake," began Jen, but the light above the plain door
went on.  "Never mind.  Let's just get this over with."


[inside the theater.  From left to right, we have Eileen, Jen, and Usagi.]

On Sun, 14 Dec 1997, Douglas Helm wrote:

JEN: A date that shall be double the date that shall live in infamy...

Adventures of the Chibi-Scouts

USAGI: WHAT?!?
EILEEN: Calm down.  Just repeat the mantra.  The dub is our friend.  The
dub is our friend.  The dub is our friend.

By "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl and Doug "Candle Light Author" Helm

J: Those look more like call-signs than nicknames.

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon, Sailor Scouts, and all terms, names, etc.
associated with this or other series are copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi,

U: The prophetess of our times.

DiC, Disney, Bandai, Toei Animation, Kodansha, and other big companies.

E: IBM, Microsoft, Hormel, Proctor and Gamble, Mattel...

We make no claim to them and this work of fanfiction should not be seen
as making a claim. ACS is not intended for commercial release or use.

J: Any rebroadcast or retransmission without the express written consent
of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited.

Those characters that are original and the story "Adventures of the
Chibi-Scouts" are copyrighted (c) 1997 by Will Wolfshohl & Doug Helm

E: Not that it's very likely somone's going to rip this story off and try
to make some money from it.

Comments good or bad are encouraged. Please Email comments to "Tuxedo"
Will (wwolfshohl@logicon.com) or Doug (dhelm@log.on.ca)

U: This is some weird NAFTA provision, isn't it?

ACS's home is "Tuxedo" Will's SM Fanfiction Archive at
http://log.on.ca/users/helm/anime/index.htm

E: Come on down to "Tuxedo" Will's SM Fanfiction Archive!  Drink our fresh
cider!  Pick up a potholder for Mom, and free balloons for the kids!

Part 12  "Cemented Understanding"

E: Or: 25th century architecture.

        Lunch was pleasant, aside from Reenie, Serena, and Raye trading

J: Magic: the Gathering cards.
U: I refuse to be in the same story with that...Reenie abomination.  Her
voice sounds nothing like mine!

rather dark looks. For the most part Reenie ignored the barbs that Raye
put forth and Serena happily chatted with 

E: Online predators.

						the other girls. After a
little while, when the girls were eating cupcakes,

J: You know, if the writers *really* wanted to make this saccarine laden,
they'd throw in a Strawberry Shortcake crossover.

						 Carrie became
worried. The three grownups had moved off to the side and were having a
private conversation. In her brief life Carrie knew the signs: Mrs.
Tsukino and the other adults were planning something. It usually meant
something ominous was afoot.

U: No, they're just discussing El Nino.

        Shortly afterwards, Chad disappeared down the path 

E: The Eightfold Path.

							and a few
minutes later brought back his acoustic guitar. The sight of the much
feared musical instrument stopped all conversation amongst the little
girls. Raye got up and walked over to Chad to stand right in front of
him.
        "Chad, PLEASE tell me you're NOT going to sing!" Raye begged.

J: Begging is not something I see Rei..er, Raye doing.
E: It's been done before.  Usually under more life and death
circumstances, to be true, but....
J: And Yuuichirou...er, Chad's singing isn't a life and death situation?

        Chad grinned, patted Raye on the top of her head, and said, "You
know, Raye, you keep telling me that I sing terribly..."

U: There's a reason for that.

        "Well it's true!" Raye said emphatically. For some odd reason
Raye got the sinking feeling that Chad had been expecting her to say
that.

J: Yes, Chad is 100 precog!  And we'll find out next time on Scanners: the
Animated TV Show!

        "Well then, you can show me how to sing really well," Chad said,
while grinning hugely.

E: Grinning hugely?  Er, I suppose it works, but it certainly doesn't look
nice.

			 The rather shocked expressions on the other
girls' faces couldn't even come close to matching Raye's, her mouth
swung open, eyes bulging.
        "WHAT!?!" she demanded after several seconds of silence, "You
can't mean that you want me to sing?!"

U: Of course not, Miss Hino, I expect you to *die*!

        "Not just you, Pumpkin," Grandpa Hino chimed in,

J: Where the hell did *he* come from?

							 "All of you."
He waved his hand broadly to encircle the other startled girls. Raye
scowled as Reenie snickered at her being called "Pumpkin" and the grin
that Serena had on her face was almost as disgusting.

E: Raye's getting hammered in this one, isn't she?

        "What are we going to sing?" Amy tentatively asked. <This is not
looking good.> This drew some hostile looks from Reenie,

U: Reenie?  That no-talent NA floozie!  You want hostile looks, put *me*
on the job!
J: A bit defenisve, aren't we, Captain Tsukino?

							 Raye, and
Carrie. As far as they were concerned, they didn't want any part of it.
Reenie quietly prayed that Serena would beg her mother to do anything
else but make them sing.

E: Well, seeing as how the only other option was pin the tail on the
magical cat....

        "Well let's start with an easy one... How about `Row, Row, Row,

J: Right, now why can't people figure out the difference between ` and '?
E: There's a difference?
J: Yes!  A ' is a single quotation mark, and a ` is a...well, it's *not* a
single quotation mark!
E: If you say so.

Your Boat'?" Ellen asked.
        "Man, I have a better one," Chad interjected, "Sing `The Wheels
on the Bus'!"

J: [singing, badly] Big wheel keep on turnin', Proud Mary keep on burnin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin' down the river!
E & U: NEVER sing again!
J: Gomen....

        "OH NO!!!" Raye exclaimed covering her face, "Please anything
but THAT one!" That was all the prompting Serena needed.

U: She needs a TelePrompTer?

							 She stood up,
placed her hands on her hips,

E: Peach Hips?
J: Too easy.

				 and, tilting back her head, starting
singing the song as loudly as she could.

J: [singing, loudly and badly] Follow me intoooooo the desert, as thirsty
as you are!
E: Jennifer, I love you, but sing like that again, and you're sleeping on
the couch tonight.

					 Chad quickly accompanied her on
his guitar.
        Mina, being the ham

U: I thought she was the potted plant.
E: Potted plant, potted ham, what's the difference?
U: Chlorophyll.

				 of the group, wasn't to be outdone. Jumping
up, she stood beside Serena, and started singing as well. For added
effect she started moving her body in different motions acting the song
out. 

U: Adventures of the Chibi Scouts II: The Forbidden Dance.
J: Purincessu no hentai!

	Raye scowled at the two blonde little girls.

E: Not that it matters, but I think two little blonde girls sounds better.

        "Come on, Amy!" Serena said dragging her friend up. Carrie was

E: In my opinion, one of the most overrated films ever.

quick to follow suit and, soon, Amy and Carrie formed part of a quartet.
By the time they had gone through the song, Lita had finally succumbed
to the prompting of Ellen and Chad but also because she was beginning to
think it was rather fun. Chad began to wonder why Raye didn't join in.
She was rarely shy about singing.

U: Tell me about it.

        Choosing another popular children's song,

J: Sanji no Yosei?
U: Don't even go there.
J: Why are you always so touchy about these kinds of things?

						 the quintet soon was
singing, normally, if decidedly off-pitch, for the small audience and
the pair of crows 

E: I think chibi-crows would be neat.

			that had come to investigate the shrieking in their
domain. Reenie was soon dragged into the fray and, upon seeing that
Raye's scowl deepened and Serena smile, Reenie threw herself

E: On the mercy of the court.
J: Your highness, might I say you were pretty vindictive back then?
U: Don't you *dare* compare that...*thing* to me!

whole-heartedly into the song.
        "I don't believe this," 

J: Saigon.  I can't believe I'm still in Saigon.
E: The horror!  The horror!

				Raye said darkly, "I just don't believe
this!" However, no matter what Raye thought of the entire affair, the
other girls were having fun. Seeing

E: You know, in typing class they always taught me to double space after
the end of a sentence.
U: You took typing?
E: Well, not *everyone* is priveleged enough to have their own AI
terminal, you know.
U: You have one now.
J: But not when she was growing up!

				 the curious looks from Chad and her
grandfather, she forced a smile and started to sing.

J: [singing] Sukete meiteru wakare de moenagara....
E: Enjoy the couch, Jennifer.
[Usagi snickers.  Jen whispers in Eileen's ear.]
E: Er, that is...you can keep the bed.  Really!
U: You two are sad.

        Raye quickly discovered her voice was not the promising teen
idol's she remembered. 

E: This is not my beautiful voice!  This is not my beautiful house!

			However, that didn't matter as she was the
competitive sort, and Reenie was making herself out to be a rather large
target. <I can sing better than them,> Raye convinced herself, <They
loved my singing at the Autumn Festival. Even with my voice like this, I
won't let that little spore outdo me!> 

J: Observe with us as Raye's inferiority complex grows to dangerous
levels, sucking everyone around her into new lows of self-hatred and
denial.  It's fun!
U: Where the hell did that come from?

					As the songs progressed the
others girls stopped singing one by one and even Chad stopped playing as
both girls tried to outdo each other.

E: When they progressed to toe-wrestling, it was time to break them up.

        "That was very good, girls!" Ellen complimented and applauded
when the song was finished. Unfortunately, Reenie and Raye didn't pay

U: Taxes.

her any heed. They were now facing each other nearly screaming the
lyrics out. Neither one was willing to back down and the air seemed to
come alive with the tensions they were generating.

J: Either that, or it was 20th century Tokyo's impeccable air quality
index.

        Unnoticed by either the grownups or the girls who were entranced
with Reenie and Raye, Amy picked up a doll. She would normally have
taken up a book but there were none around.

E: Apparently, the Watchtower wasn't her idea of good reading.

						 The doll seemed to be a good
substitute at the moment as Reenie and Raye went at it tooth and nail.

U: Ten bucks on me.  I'll thrash her!
J: [innocently] I thought you didn't want us to compare her with you?
U: [mutters something under her breath]

        Amy was content for all of thirty seconds. That is until Lita
had turned to say something to her sister about the spectacle. She
noticed that Amy was playing with a doll, and HER doll at that! By now,
Mrs. Tsukino, Chad, and Grandpa Hino had moved in to try and calm the
other girls down. The two singing little girls were turning red in the
face and their voices were becoming hoarse from use.

E: Reenie and Raye try their hand at speed rock.  Next on Sailor Moon.

        Stalking over to her sister, Lita snatched the doll out of Amy's
hands and exclaimed, "Amy, get your own doll!"
        "But I was playing with it first!" Amy protested, a hurt
expression appearing on her face. "You didn't want to play with it!"

J: I'm still not used to Mercury and Jupiter being...well, little kids.
U: Ha!  Try *being* a little kid for 900 years, and see how *you* like it!

        "But it's mine!" Lita said menacingly, "You got something to say
about it!?!"

E: Ah, Sailor War # negative one.

        Amy was about to retort when Ellen's voice broke in ahead of
hers, "Lita?" The singing stopped. Turning, Lita saw that Mrs. Tsukino
along with the others were staring at her, some with curiosity, others
with concern. "Whose doll is that?"

U: I think the doll should decide.

        "MINE!" Lita snapped.
        "But you weren't playing with it!" Amy protested again, "I
wanted to play with it and SHE stole it!" Reaching out, Amy tried to
snatch the doll from Lita's hand but Lita just held it away and pushed
her sister.

J: I hope to god I wasn't that bad at five.

        "I'll take that!" Mrs. Tsukino said as she stepped in and took
the doll from Lita.
        "Hey!" Lita protested and turned to face the adult. <What right
does she have....>
        "It's time for your naps," Mrs. Tsukino said sternly, "Then you
may ask for the doll back." Grandpa and Chad nodded. With that Mrs.
Tsukino placed a firm hand behind Lita

J: Not a word, Princess.
U: Oh, even *I* have limits.

					 while pocketing the doll. Guiding
the little girl over, she placed another firm hand behind Reenie and
proceeded to guide both girls down the path towards the temple. Serena
was quick to follow her "sister" and ran ahead to catch up to her
mother. Grandpa Hino came over and ushered Mina and Carrie down the path

E: The path of redemption?
J: What have I told you about reading that scatterbrain David Brin?

as well. He was closely followed by Chad who was carrying Raye while
holding Amy's hand.

U: None shall be seated during the thrilling "get the kids inside for
naptime" scene!

        Much to Serena's delight, and Reenie's chagrin, Mrs. Tsukino
suggested that maybe Reenie needed a nap too. It was embarrassing to say
the least. That and it seemed to give Raye some rather perverse pleasure
in seeing Reenie being treated like a little kid.

U: Mr. Helm, if you *ever* try to put me in a situation like that, I'll
pay a visit to your house, and it *won't* be to exchange pleasantries!
J: Come now, captain, at least the DIC characters are good for being
punching bags.  Don't take it so personally.

						 Reenie made the best
of it for Serena's sake. Several minutes later, all three adults retired
to the living room for tea and sighed, it had been such a lovely day
too.

E: Should that last clause be a seperate sentence?

        The first to wake from their afternoon naps was Reenie. She lay
there listening to the other girls. She could feel herself starting to
blush. <I promised Aunt Ellen that I'd try to get along with Raye...>
She turned over and looked at the dozing form of Serena. <Instead I
started acting like I was Serena's age.> A frown crept into her
features. <Then Aunt Ellen makes ME take a nap!>

U: I oculd use a nap, personally.

        It wasn't so much the nap that annoyed Reenie. She would have
been quite content to take a nap with Serena if the little girl had
wanted her too. It was just the simple fact that Serena's friends had

J: Gotten up and walked out on her.
E: And all because she sang out of tune, like a certain lovable redhead.
[hugs Jen]

been around and it was even more embarrassing to think that she was
proving that Raye's opinion of her was right. <Some big sister I was
today...>

U: Thank heavens I'm an only child.
J: For now.

        Hearing a rustle, Reenie turned and found that Raye had sat up.
Reenie slowly sat up as well and both girls looked at each other for a
long moment before Raye looked away. "I guess we were pretty silly,"

E: That's one way of putting it.

Raye remarked softly. She felt rather embarrassed by her emotional
outburst, especially with the girls there. <It's this stupid body!> Raye
suddenly thought, <Amy had better come up with a solution soon!>
        Reenie looked at Raye trying to gauge the comment. <Is she

E: "And Reenie is sizing up the lay of the ball...looks like she's going
to go with the 4-iron for this shot, slicing it just left of the
green...."

trying to say she's sorry?> She knew that Raye wasn't the type of kid
who apologized very well, or openly for that matter. Giving a silent
sigh, Reenie decided that she'd at least try not to cause more problems
between Serena and her little friends. "Yeah, I guess we BOTH were
actin' silly."

J: Slang?  In a fanfic?
U: It's just a simple dropped intonation, Jennifer.  Let it go.

        Raye looked up and, after a moment, gave a half-hearted smile
before getting up and crossing over to the door. Reenie debated whether
or not she would follow but decided to stay and wait for Serena to wake
up. The next person to wake up was Amy. Reenie watched her carefully and
noticed that Amy was taking on a worried expression. 

E: Much like a cargo ship takes on ballast.

							She was about to
ask what the problem was when Lita bolted upright and looked over at
Amy. Lita's sudden movement made Reenie and Amy give a little cry of
surprise; both younger girls turned and looked at Reenie.
        "Amy I..." Lita began and then trailed off, "What a thing to
fight about!" Lita declared, "I..." she trailed off then and noticed
that Reenie was looking intently at her. 

J: "Stop looking into my soul!"

					Getting up, she pulled Amy off
towards a corner and continued in a whispered voice, "I'm really sorry.
I don't know what got into me."

E: I'm betting it was squid on a stick.
U: Don't even think about it.

        "It's okay, Sis. I think we were just tired." She glanced back
towards the other girls and noticed that Reenie was staring at them now.
"I think I could've handled it better too." Lita grinned back at her
sister. Then they gave each other a hug.

J: I'm just numb to the sugar factor now.  I could probably watch the
Disney channel with no ill effects.
E: Provided the Disney channel was still around.
J: Point taken.

        <What are they up to?!?> Reenie thought, <They were about to
clobber each other before the nap... now they're all friends again!> She
had seen Serena have mood swings but she never thought she could credit
that particular ability to any of Serena's friends.

J: Never underestimate inner senshi.

        Raye was coming from just using the bathroom when she noticed
Chad's bedroom door open. Walking over to it, she heard faint strumming
sounds. She was about to continue back to the girls when Chad looked up
and smiled at her.

U: Behold, I bring you tidings of great day.  For unto you will be born a
son, and he shal be called-
J: No.  No spoilers.
E: Spoilers for what?
J: Spoilers in case our writer decides to give the planet sneshi children.
E: Oh, okay. [pause] NANI?

        "Hi Pumpkin, did you have a good nap?"

E: You know, I think Punkin would be cuter.
J: But it's more vulgar.
E: Hey, *I'm* the native English speaker, I'll handle the English
language.

        Much to Raye's surprise she didn't bristle at the nickname
"Pumpkin" like she had done before. Nodding, she entered Chad's room and
moved over to stand beside him. "Watch'ya doin'?" she asked. <I hope he
isn't going to sing again... or worse MAKE us sing again.>

U: She can take a forced march, but forced singing and she's running to
Amnesty International.

        Chad smiled, sat his guitar down on the bed, and then lifted
Raye onto his knee. 

J: "Lemme tell you about the good old days."

			Giving her a hug, he answered, "I was tuning my
guitar." She looked up at him and he smiled down at her, "You know I
thought you and Reenie were going to fight again."

U: Giving us another opportunity to use the Star Trek Fight Song(tm).

        "Nope!" Raye squeaked. "We were being silly!" That response
caused Raye to blink. <Kami, where the heck did that come from?!?>

E: Well, when a writer and a keyboard love each other very much....

								 she
thought, <And why do I feel like giggling?!?> That was the last thing in
the world that she wanted to do.

J: Next to last thing: sweep those damn shrine steps again.

        "Yes, you were silly," Chad admitted, "Man, I'm glad you and
Reenie just acted `silly'." The statement itself was benign, however,
Chad's tone suggested dire consequences would have occurred if she had

E: Consequences don't occur so much as they follow.

fought with Reenie like she had before. Raye just smiled weakly at him.

U: "He's dreamy!"

"Come on, let's go see if the others are up. Serena and the other girls
probably have to leave." Setting Raye down, he took her hand and they
walked out of the room. Unseen by Chad, Raye smiled. She had just gotten
a very sneaky idea; she had just thought up her next prank.

J: It involved the ginzuishou, a couple youma, duct tape, chopsticks, a
CD, three pounds of ground beef, and a vacuum chamber.

        It was sometime later that evening that Amy managed to start her
analysis. It came at the point where her mother was having a talk with
Lita. Setting her computer in a place easily concealed, she soon had it
working away.

J: Mercury herself read some shouen manga.

        <The real problem is that we are five.

U: An astute observation.

						 How could we have been
five in this reality? Mina would of

E: Or rather, would have been.

				 been too young to be Sailor V and
there are other inconsistencies especially... Hmm, so what would make us
five?> Amy considered this, <The Imperium Silver Crystal?> 

U: Thedubismyfriendthedubismyfriendthedubismyfriendthedubismyfriend...

							It was
certainly a possibility. Serena had used it to, at least in their normal
reality, reincarnate the Sailor Scouts over again. <Wait a minute!> Amy
suddenly thought. Reaching over, she interrupted her computer from its

J: Game of Freecell.
E: Say what you want about the 20th century, any civilization that came up
with Freecell and survived is worthy of my respect.

current task and instead had it start searching all of its files. As the
preliminary data scrolled past, Amy started to get excited. It would
seem that they HAD BEEN fourteen when they had fought Beryl at the North
Pole.

U: Where was Santa Claus during all this time?

        <When Serena used the Silver Crystal she or it...> Amy paused,
<Could the Silver Crystal be sentient?!?> 

U: Sorry, can't tell you.

					It at least seemed to be
intuitive. <So could it have interpreted Serena's wish to make us normal
girls and changed us all into five year olds?!?> She got up and started
to pace. <That would not be good!>

E: Egon, define "not good."

				 If the Crystal were intuitive, that
would explain why they could of 

J: Or could have.

				gone through the past here as teens but
been reincarnated as children. <Could... could Serena of this reality
have used the Silver Crystal in that fashion?> After a few minutes Amy
rejected her line of reasoning, there was something missing. 

U: Pudding.

								She was
just about to turn back to her computer and resume processing her
original program when her mother appeared in the doorway.
        "Amy honey, I want to talk to you," Mrs. Anderson said
seriously.

E: It's time to explain where babies come from.
J: Oh, like Mercury wouldn't have figured that out.

        Little Amy gulped, <This is definitely not good!>

        The Saturday morning sun was bright. 

U: As opposed to the dark sun that they got on Tuesdays.

						It gleamed off of the
morning dew and slowly crept over Raye's windowsill. Sitting up and
rubbing her eyes, Raye softly climbed out of bed and went to the
bathroom. After returning she got dressed before sneaking back into the
hall.
        Walking softly over to Chad's room, she put her ear to the door
and listened. She could hear his breathing; 

J: Jeez!  How loud does this guy breathe, anyway?

						it was steady and deep,
indicating that he was asleep. Grinning, she softly padded down the hall
and peeked into the kitchen.

E: It's Aunt Jemima!

        <Good, Grandpa isn't here!> Raye thought gleefully. Moving over
to the utility drawer she opened it and frowned. <This isn't the right
drawer...> Quietly, she moved along the lower cupboards looking in the
drawers. <Oh!!!!> Raye thought with some irritation, <I'm five! They
would keep stuff that five year olds aren't supposed to get into
someplace...> She craned her neck, <Someplace hard to get to!>

U: Have they considered just using AdultCheck?

        It only took Raye another ten minutes to find what she had been
looking for. 

J: She may be right.
E: [doubletake] That's the most obscure riff I've ever heard you make.

		Hopping off the counter, she cautiously made her way to
Chad's room once again. <I can't get caught,> Raye thought, <Or I'm a

U: Monkey's uncle.

goner!> Stopping in front of Chad's door, she listened and after a few
moments was satisfied that he was still sound asleep.
        <This'll show him.> Raye gave an evil smile as she softly slid
open Chad's door. Not wasting any time, she took the two containers that
made up the contact cement 

E: Contact cement?
J: Crazy glue, I suppose, if you're American.  I thought you'd read up on
Canadian dialects.
E: I thought I did.

			and quickly read over the directions. Making
one last check up and down the hallway, Raye proceeded to apply the

J: Don't say it, Princess.
U: I never have any fun.

first part to the door jamb and the second part to the door itself.
After waiting the required time Raye slid the door closed and held it.

E: Giving lots of proper affection and warmth.

After a few seconds she gave it a gentle test tug. Her smile grew larger
when she saw that the door appeared to be firmly cemented to the door
jamb. <Now to do mine and Grandpa's door!> Raye thought and trotted down
the hall.

J: I always thought Mars was more a sort of person to canter.

        Raye skipped out of the temple grounds smiling, taking the steps

U: And hiding them in the linens closet.  Oh, that prankster!

two at a time she turned and headed for Amy's house. <Hmm... Now I
wonder what else I can do? I shouldn't get caught.>

E: Well, you can help out the guys at Kyoto.  Then again, I suppose what
they do at Kyoto doesn't really matter a lot in two years, does it?

        She irritatedly brushed off the minor sense of guilt. <Amy'd
better have some answers; I have no intention remaining five!> 

J: Shouldn't that be *of* remaining five?
E: Picky, picky.

								Another
part of her mind reminded her that she would grow up.

U: To hell with being a Toys R Us kid!

							 Raye pointedly
told that part of her brain to take a hike. <I will not go through a
second childhood especially with Chad acting like my big brother!>
        As she walked her sense of confidence was starting to vanish.

J: Probably due to the fact that everyone around her was around a meter
taller.

People were looking at her curiously as she walked down the street. She
tried to bolster her confidence but it just fled under the more
unscrupulous gazes sent her way.

J: Are you Flame Sniper?
E: You're determined to break the obscurity meter, aren't you?

				 She started to jog and after another
five minutes came within sight of her destination.

U: Alfeld.
E: Reykjavik.
J: San Francisco.
U: D-point.
E: Kiev.
J: Tokyo.
U: Berlin.
E: Jeruselem.
J: The castle Argh.

        Raye wasn't the only one that was wide awake that morning, Amy
was as well. 

E: That looks suspiciously like a run-on.

		To a lesser extent, so was Lita. Amy for her part sat on
the bed, knees drawn up, computer balanced on the top of her knees as
she typed away. Lita would occasionally open a bleary eye to glare at
her sister before shutting her eye again.

U: I suppose Mother isn't the only one with a betwetting problem.
J: Purincessu no ecchi!

        "Amy, do you have any solutions?" Lita groggily asked. <It's
Saturday. I usually sleep in! I don't think I could stand getting up
early on Saturday mornings for the rest of my life!>

J: I'll never understand people who sleep late.

        "No..." Amy responded with a hint of irritation in her voice.
This caused the little girl to sit up and look at her sister.
        "What's the matter, Sis?" Lita asked sitting up and turning to
look at Amy. Amy typed away in silence for a little while before giving

E: The finger.

a sigh and turning to face Lita.
        "I had a solution..."

U: Unfortunately, it's to Fermat's last theorem.

        "That's great!" Lita exclaimed. <Now I can go chase boys again!>

E: Bah.  Boys are overrated.

        "But... it was the wrong one," Amy finished. "I'm sorry, Lita,"
Amy continued as she saw her sister's disappointment, "It would have
been right if we had been dead."
        "Huh?!?"

J: You can say that again.
E & U: Huh?!?

        "What I found out was that WE WERE 

ALL: AAH!
U: Don't shout!  Use asterisks or slashes or something.

						fourteen when we fought Queen
Beryl. It looks like Serena used the Imperium Silver Crystal just the
same as she did in our normal reality but..." Amy trailed off, unsure of
how to put it.

E: The warranty ran out?

        "But?" Lita squeaked out. She didn't like the direction this was
heading.

J: Specifically, north by northeast.

        "But when Serena made her wish, for us to be normal girls
again... well... the Imperium Silver Crystal interpreted that wish and
made us five!"

J: Okay, show of hands.  Who here was a normal girl at five?

        "Holy cow!" Lita croaked out, "Are you saying that it thought
that Serena wanted to be normal so IT reincarnated us and brought us all
back as five year olds and reset time like it did before?!?"

E: Tsukino-sama?
U: It's possible.  Even *I* don't know everything about what the
ginzuishou can do.  I do think some people overuse it as a plot device
though.  But not in this case.

							 Amy nodded,
"But that doesn't answer why when Prisma zapped us..." Lita trailed off
as Amy's eyes grew wide and her jaw swung open. "What?"
        "Lita, you are a genius!" Amy exclaimed.

J: Which was duly recorded as SAR's Thing you don't hear every day #94.

        Lita was about to respond when a gentle rattle at the window
drew their attention. Walking over, Lita glanced out and noticed that it
was Raye. "Hey!" Lita called out softly after opening the window, "What
are you doing up this time of the morning?"

E: "Carrying on various low level biochemical functions in an attempt to
maintain homeostasis.  Why?"

        "I was going to ask you the same thing!" Raye shot back, "Can I
come in?"

U: Amway people will do anything to get in your house.

        Lita was about to respond when she heard her mother come into
the room. "Lita, who are you talking to?" Mrs. Anderson asked.

J: Al.
E: Godot.
U: Jesus.

        "Um... it's Raye, Mommy," Lita said after a nervous look at her
mother.
        Mrs. Anderson

J: [singing] And here's to you, Mrs. Anderson, Jesus loves you more than
you will know, oh-oh-oh!
U: Eileen, just what did Jen say to you?
[Eileen leans over Jen to whisper in Usagi's ear.]
U: [shakily] I...I see.

			 frowned. Walking over to the window, she looked
out and indeed saw that it was Raye. "Girls get dressed," she told them
before leaving the room. <Why am I surprised to see her? It's not like
it's the first time that she's done this.> Raye had the habit of showing
up early in the morning.

E: Curiously, the silverware always seemed to be missing afterwards.

			 Although not overly annoying, it was
inconvenient at times.
        Both Lita and Amy hurried and got dressed. When they came out
they found their mother talking to Raye who was just taking off her
shoes. "Raye, would you like to stay for breakfast?"

E: Don't break bread with the Rider!
J: Trying to out-obscure me, are you?
E: Yep.

        Raye blushed, "I'm sorry for barging in like that, Mrs.
Anderson." She hadn't been planning on showing up for breakfast. <I just
wanted to get Amy moving on her research.>

U: At 3M!

        "That's all right, Raye. Come on let's 

E: How about we insert a comma after on?

						get something to eat and
then you three can play together." Oddly enough, this sounded quite
reasonable to Raye and nodded her acceptance of the plan.

J: Mrs. Anderson's words nodded in acceptance of the plan?
U: Don't confuse the readers, Jen.

        It was shortly after the girls and Mrs. Anderson were finishing
breakfast that the phone rang. It made everyone jump. 

J: [singing] Criss Cross'll make you, JUMP! JUMP!
U: Next time, I call no singing from Jen until she gets some voice
lessons.

								Muttering
something under her breath about tropical islands with no one around for
miles and miles,

E: The shot for a Samurai Pizza Cats crossover is wide open...and he
passes!

		 Mrs. Anderson got up and went to answer the phone.

U: Tell me, Mrs. Anderson, do you like...scary movies?
J: Scream 3.  Coming to theaters December of 3030.

        As soon as she was out of the room Raye leaned over and said in
a hushed tone, "Amy, you gotta get me out here!"

E: Lemme guess: the walls are closing in?

        "Why?" Amy asked, "Raye, we're still Scouts."
        "Yeah but I DO NOT want to stay five!" Raye hissed vehemently,
"Look, Amy, you're the brains of the family. Can't you figure something
out?!?"

J: Well, you could always turn to the forces of evil and... [looks warily
at Usagi], then again, maybe I should forget that.

        "Hey!" Lita squawked in protest, "Don't start picking on my
sister like you do Serena." She folded her arms and glared at Raye
hotly.

E: All we need is some biida!s.

        <Kami!> Raye sighed and ran a hand over her face before saying,
"I'm sorry, Lita. It's just that I'd prefer to be fourteen." <I can
control my emotions a lot better.

U: Yeah, sure.  Don't try to fool me, miss, I was there.

				 At this rate I'll be like Serena
soon.> Any further conversation was cut short by Mrs. Anderson walking
sternly into the kitchen.

J: How do you walk sternly?

        The three little girls turned to look at the adult and gulped.
"Young lady," Mrs. Anderson said, glaring disapprovingly at Raye, "You
get your shoes and jacket on this minute!"

E: And now Raye Hino recreates a scene from "The Best Little Whorehouse in
Texas."

        "Why?" Raye asked. She tried to sound demanding but it came out
only above a meek whisper. Mrs. Anderson was certainly an imposing woman

U: At the ER they call her Frau Anderson.

when she wanted to be and Raye's five year old chemistry was playing
havoc with Raye's confidence.

J: Havoc!  It's the new game everyone loves to play!

        "Mommy?" Lita questioned. She had never seen her mother act like
this. Even when she had talked to Lita about pushing that bully around.
        "Chad is coming over to get you,"

E: [singing] They're coming to take me away, haha! [normal] Ha!  Beat you
to it, Jen!

					 Mrs. Anderson explained
softly, "You snuck out of the house again. He called over to Serena's
and then called here." Raye started to open her mouth to protest but
hastily closed it when Amy's mother pinned her with a look that would
have cut through granite!

J: Never cross the mommy.

			 "Now go and get ready," she ordered pointing
towards the door. Nodding meekly, Raye slid off the chair and went to
get her jacket and shoes on.

        Not more than ten minutes later, Raye found herself sitting on
her bed waiting for Chad. 

E: Do you think Chad will come?
J: Yes, Chad will surely come.

			The moment he had shown up on the Anderson
doorstep she KNEW she was in very serious trouble. The veins on Chad's
forehead were standing out like mountain ridges.

U: This message is brought to you by the American Heart Association,
reminding you to have your blood pressure checked regularly.

						 His facial muscles were
very tight and, when he was thanking Mrs. Anderson, Raye thought that
his head might explode from the pressure. 

E: Maybe we'll get the Scanners crossover anyway?

					Once they had gotten back to
the temple grounds, Chad had only directed her to her room and told her
to stay put. Although the veins on his forehead had receded, Chad had
kept silent.
        By the time that Chad came into her room, Raye wasn't feeling
very well. 

U: Must be the fish.
E: Well, the senshi had a choice: steak or fish.
J: Oh yeah, I remember.  I had lasagna.

	Her stomach was tied into knots and she was starting to doubt
the wisdom of taking off for Amy's place. She began to think she should

E: Floss.

of 

E: Or have.

	asked Chad or Grandpa for permission to visit Amy. She had difficulty
suppressing that thought.
        "Do you have anything to say for yourself, Raye?" Chad asked
quietly.

U: Hino Rei.  Captain.  432-54-5820.

        "I was okay!" Raye snapped. <I will not be five!!!> She didn't
care what her emotions were screaming at her! Her pride was going to win

J: Pridewen?

out this time. "I was okay. You didn't have to worry!" <I can take care
of myself!>

E: Yeah, let's see how long she lasts when it's time to drive to work.

        "Is that all?" Chad asked, a sterness coming back to his
features.

U: Judges?
E: Inconclusive.  Sterness may or may not be a real word.  I'd like "a
stern tone" better.

        "You'd better believe it," Raye said defiantly.
        Chad took two quick steps over and, in two fluid motions, sat
down and pulled Raye across his lap before she could get away. Raye
immediately recognized what was about to occur but found herself held
firmly in place. Her tears were already flowing and she was just about
to protest when the hand of doom descended.

J: This looks totally out of place in a fanfic full of little kids.  I
expect S&M scenes in a lemon, but-
E: Jennifer no hentai! [soundly (but playfully) bops Jen on the head]

        Bracing herself, Raye prepared to give vent to all of her
frustrations but the first swat never landed.

U: Tranquillity Base here, the Palm has not landed.

						 Instead Chad picked her up
placed her on the bed and started for the door.
        "Aren't you going to spank me?" 

E: Goodnight, everybody!

					Raye finally questioned,
watching him warily. <Why am I asking that? I should count myself lucky.
It's not like I deserve it...>
        "No," Chad said through clenched teeth, "I won't, Raye. I'm too
angry with you. I'm also very disappointed in you for taking off alone.

J: So if she'd made it a road trip it would have been okay?

I don't think spanking you will do anything but make me feel better." He
had said this with his back to her, turning around Raye noticed that

U: Strange, feral grin on his face....

there was moisture in his eyes, "I don't know why you're acting so
strangely, Raye. It's like you hate me or something!" 

E: "Am I going to have to put on the blonde wig with the two pigtails
again?"
U: You never get tired of that one, do you?
E: No.
U: Okay, well I'll settle it for you.  Jen, cover your ears.
J: Will do.
U: MOTHER NEVER HAD *ANYTHING* GOING WITH SAILOR MARS!  SAILOR MARS NEVER
HAD ANYTHING GOING WITH MOTHER!  SHE NEVER LUSTED AFTER HER IN ANY FASHION
OTHER THAN THE LOVE THEY ALL SHARED!  IF ONE MORE PERSON TRIES TO TELL ME
MOTHER AND MARS WOULD BE NICE TOGETHER, I'LL RIP THEIR TONGUES OUT!
[pause while the ears of the reviewers (and the reader) ring]
J: Y'know, it's generally a good idea to let things like that out more
often.
E: Gomen! [dabs some blood from her ears]
U: It's okay.  Just wanted to clear the air on that count.
J: Actually, if you look at the-
U: One more word, and I'll have Mother send you to the gulag.
J: We have a gulag?
U: We will....
E: Can we get back to the fanfic?
U & J: Sure.

							Sighing, Chad
walked to the door, "Stay in your room. Grandpa will get you for meals."

U: Ah, I just love dangling participles.

With that he left. Poking his head back in the door, he added, "And
we're going to be talking about these doors." Then he was gone, and Raye
sniffled.

E: Not quite the hard Wagner punch that I was expecting.  No omph.

        Later that night, after Raye had been put to bed early by her
grandfather, she lay awake doing battle with her emotions. 

J: She had been doing fine in the jousting events, but she knew she wasn't
very good at the melee.

							Chad hadn't
spoken to her all day and staying in her room had made her feel very
lonely. On the other hand,

U: Or the gripping hand.

			 she tried to deny that Chad cared about her
or had been worried about her, or, even worse, that she cared about

E: Mushrooms.  She didn't know why.

hurting him. As the minutes passed and her worry and frustration grew, a
pain started to develop. After a little while it had grown more intense.
Curling up, she tried to relive 

J: I think you mean relieve.

				it but it just wouldn't go away.

U: 5-year-old angst is like a storm raging inside you.

        She was about to get up and get something for her stomach when
her door opened. Turning her head, she saw that it was Chad. She
couldn't let him see that something was wrong. 

E: It's just a flesh wound.

						Turning away, she tried
to straighten herself out but found that it was very uncomfortable.
        "Raye?" Chad asked as he softly came into her room, "Is there
something the matter?"

J: [cheerful]  Nope!  Just an ulcer or two!

        "No," Raye answered in a voice of false hostility.
        She saw Chad walk around the bed. "Are you cold?" he asked.
        "No," Raye said again. She grimaced a bit.
        "Well then why are you all curled up, dudette?"

[dead silence]
U: Dudette?

							 Chad said and
forced a smile. He soon lost it when Raye didn't respond. "Are you okay,
Pumpkin?" a note of worry coming into his voice.
        "It hurts," Raye finally admitted, 

E: Calgon, take me away!

					some of her guilt forcing her
pride into a dark corner of her brain. Chad lifted the covers away and
looked at Raye more seriously as he turned on the bedside lamp.

J: Now it's time for the pelvic exam.
U: And then the an-
[Jen clamps her hands over Usagi's mouth.]

        "Can you point to where it hurts?"
        "My tummy..." Raye said again and tried to wrap her arms
tighter.
        "I know but can you point?" 

E: It's not nice to point.
[Jen releases Usagi's mouth.]

					Chad insisted again. Raye didn't
really understand the relevance but being in no mood to argue pointed to
her tummy. She was slightly surprised when Chad gave a sigh of relief.

J: "Yep, that appendix is going to have to come out.  Come with me to the
kitchen and we'll have that fixed up in a jiffy."

        "Come on," Chad said lifting the child up and starting to head
for the door, "Let's see if Grandpa has something for a tummy ache." As
he moved he started to rub Raye's back and oddly enough Raye found this
quite comforting.

U: If he breaks out the Vicks Vaporub, I'm leaving.
E: That's not exactly ecchi, you know.
U: Hai!  But that stuff is foul!  I can't stand it!

        Within a few minutes Raye was back in her room, but this time
being rocked in the rocking chair. Her Raggedy Anne doll snuggled close
to her 

J: It's alive!

	and she endured falling asleep while being rocked by Chad. She
would normally protest such treatment but after today, strangely it felt
good; it felt proper.

E: If not a bit discongruous.

        And as Raye closed her eyes, she had another feeling: one that
had long been absent, even in her normal childhood. It felt like home.
And to Raye that was something very soothing.

J: A dysfunctional home, to be sure, with a dirty old man and a on the
rocks rock musician as male role models, but home nonetheless.

End of Part #12

[they exit the theater]

	"Woohoo!" shouted the pink-haired princess as she left the
theater.  "Another one bites the dust!"

	"Yes," said Eileen, deciding to drop into English, "and this one
was actually good."

	"Hai, but there's a problem.  The balance of nature and so forth,"
said Jen worriedly, running a hand through her red hair.  "If we got a
good fic this time, that means that-"

	"The next one will be terrible."

	"Exactly."

	There was a bit of silence.

	"Er, is there any chance we can get out of the country that day?"




	The MSTed fanfic belongs to Helm and Wolfshol, not me.  So do the
Sailor Moon characters (well, they belong to a number of faceless
multinationals).  Jen and Eileen belong to me, I suppose, though they're
far too independant for me to claim that I really own them.


--
LeVar Bouyer -who knows he'll be lynched for this
lbouyer@geocities.com or l_bouyer@lvc.edu | Libertas per veritatem
Fanfics at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/1648 | All Hail Unazuki!
Home page (and fanfic reviews): http://csunix1.lvc.edu/~l_bouyer/