At 12:19 AM 11/28/97 -0600, Keith Wood wrote:

on this happy Turkey day comes another product of my convoluted
mind...

(El-Hazard is property of... ah, you know already.)

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<and a whole bunch of other stuff I snipped>

"It seems impossible, but I'm afraid it's true."  Afura took a 
deep breath.  "Bh'Arnee has returned."

Makoto looked up.  "Barney?"  It made sense.  Well, sort of.
Big, purple, liked to sing...  "There was a Barney in our
dimension, too."

"How did you defeat it?" Rune inquired.

Makoto looked confused.  "Defeat it?  It was the main character
in a children's show!"

The whole room blanched.  "How did you survive?" Shayla asked,
incredulous.

Nanami shrugged.  "By the time it came out, I was too old to 
watch it.  So was Makoto.  Right?"

Makoto's eyes took on a glazed look.  "You didn't have any
younger siblings."

"Oh."

	Makoto's tougher by far than they give him credit for, to
survive that....
Poor bastard, ya gotta feel sorry for that, don'tcha?

Bh'Arnee turned around.  "I have to punish... um, what's your
name?"  he asked the somewhat frantic person behind him.

"Shayla-Shayla.  Why?"

"Oh, you should go to a speech-therapist to get that stutter 
fixed.  But Shayla tried to hurt me.  She should stop and think
before she does things like that again."

hehehe.

The stone in Shayla's headband flared up.  "WhAt DiD yOu SaY?!"

I can't picture Shayla having another reaction.

Afura smiled to herself.  "You know the Bugrom Homeland beyond
those hills over there?"

Bh'Arnee nodded.

"Well, it's chock full of naughty little kids who need to be 
taught a lesson.  Why don't you go over there and teach them to
be kind and gentle or something?"

"Why, that's a good idea!  Thank you!  And you," he finished,
pointing to Shayla.  "You need to learn to be nice to others.
No one likes a bully."

With that, he flounced off into the darkness, singing his song.

***

Meanwhile, Jinnai was just returning, triumphant, to the 
Homeland.

"Tomorrow El-Hazard belongs to me!  AH HA HA HA HA!!!"

The Bugrom made gestures of victory as they hoisted their 
brilliant leader onto their shoulders.

But all was not as it seemed.

"Hey kids, I think it's time that you learned how to respect the
feelings of those around you!  Now sing along with me..."

Jinnai's jaw dropped to the floor.  He picked it up, stuck it
back where it belonged, and addressed the serenading psycho.

"What do you think you're doing?!  You're supposed to be helping
me enslave Mizuhara and all his pathetic followers!"

"You didn't say please!  This means I'll have to teach you to be
nicer to people.  Let's sing the Politeness song, okay kids?"

Jinnai's screams echoed across El-Hazard as Bh'Arnee's voice 
filled the air with his "music."

	Why can I see the Bugrom actually liking the Purple Menace?
How is it I see it deposing Diva and Jinnai (who both can't take
it, of course), forcing them to flee (perhaps with a few loyal 
Bugrom) to start a counter-revolution, or maybe seeking asylum
in Roshtaria....
<Shudders at the thought of Barney leading the Bugrom>
	Now look at what image you put in my head! Happy?

But what did I think of it you ask?
<puts on a very imperial air> "We are not amused."
<imperial air lapses into a goofy grin> "We are _extremely_ amused!"



Matthew "Shortfics are a way of life" Lewis
	maybeso@ican.net
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The Second Question:
 What happens when you win?
   When your enemies are at your mercy: how will 
you act then? Compromise is the temptation of the
weak; this is the test for the strong.
What are you going to do?
	-Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses
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