Ch 7
In Her Element

bit of psychological slight of hand had kept her from happiness

"sleight of hand"

you want to be around all those crazies like Surya and Yuka."

"Sayuri"

    He scowled.  Nabiki had just named her sister's only close
friends.  He *did* feel bad about taking her away from them.  He
wasn't going to give up yet, though.  "Not to mention Gosenkugi,

"Gosunkugi"

    The old man's eyes filled with tears.  Such a manly son he
had raised, just as he'd promised.  Such family loyalty, such
devotion to the future of the school.  It made a father proud. 
"Just leave it all to me." his eyes misted over slightly. 
"You've made the right decision, my boy."

***

    "Do we have enough tempura flakes, Sugar?  I'm going to the
store to pick up some shrimp anyway."

    "There plenty.  You no worry.  I make too too delicious pork
buns."

    "You do that.  Do you have the tranquilizer gun?"

    "Is here."

    "Are you sure those darts are big enough?  He's one big fat
animal?"

    "You go to shopping now, Spatula Girl.  Everything fine
here."

I have to say that, although I didn't get it when I first read this
scene, it's probably my favorite one, i've got this thing for 
misleading and such.  At firat thought they were going to cook
Ryouga, was suitanly confused.. but after seing where this led..
very well done.

    "My measurements?  What for?"

*evil hentai grin*

except for the few small spelling errors, this chapter was almost
perfect.  Sentences that flowed well together, as well a good use
of contrast.. just the kinda fic i like reading.

Ch 8

You Can Count On Me

    She took a step closer, then held out her hands.  Shampoo
was at her side in an instant handing her a bowl and a pair of
chopsticks.  Steam rose from the bowl into sweet smelling white
plumes, then disappeared tauntingly into the air.  Ukyou looked
down hungrily.  She dipped her right index finger into it, then
pulled it out quickly.  "Ouch." she said delicately.  "Too hot." 
In a slow, almost sensual movement, she held up her hand, and let

ok.. what's with the sexual tension between Genma and Ukyou.. I
know that Ukyou is using it as part of her manipulation.. but
Genma!?!??!  how could u!!! it's evil to even think about this..
It's like setting Happosai up with Ranma-chan.. completely wrong..
this goes for pretty much the rest of the fic.. although without
the sexual connotation (which might just be a figment of my diseased
mind...) i've gotta admit i like the idea.. tempting Genma with food..


Well anyways, except for where it as noted above, I like where your 
going with this, getting down to some serious issues while maintaining 
the original flavour of the series.. I'll be waiting for chapter 9.


        
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