R1/2 -- Chris Collins (1clc0772@unixstew.tstc.edu)

	(CUTE VOICE: Nii hao.  This Shampoo speaking.  Author away from desk right
now, so I introduce chapter--sort of.  Ahem.  ....  Stupid wheelchair boy
say Shampoo no should hit Stupid Spatula Girl like last chapter--even if
she deserve... mmmm....  He feel sorry for Spatula Girl and let her help
write chapter this time.

	At least Spatula Girl make Miko keep hands off what not hers!

	Uh... oh!  Just remind that author no try steal ideas.  Characters created
by Take... Taka... Takahashi are hers.  There.  Are I not good introducing
person?)

              -----------===================------------
              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
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	Ranma walked beside Miko with his arms folded, a noticeably irritated look
on his face as he tried to forget the stinging sensation Doshin's sword
left on the back of his head.  He had straightened his outfit as best he
could, but there was still a rip in it running down his chest and the taunt
fabric just ripped even more each time he tensed his muscles.

	Miko almost had to run to keep up with his long strides.  She could easily
tell he was angry--who couldn't--and she was worried that he might any
second start yelling at her or tell her to go away, but he hadn't uttered a
word since they left the house.  In an almost shaky tone, she said, "Please
don't think ill of Father.  He's just a bit overprotective."

	Ranma grumbled, "Overprotective is NOT the word I'm looking for."  _He's
almost as unreasonable as Akane._

	Miko forced a smile for his benefit.  "Don't worry, Guardian Spirt.  I'm
sure he'll forgive you when we get back."

	Ranma groaned.  _HE'LL forgive ME?_

	Miko couldn't think of anything else to say, and a long silence passed
between them.  Finally, Ranma asked, "So, where're we goin anyway?"

	Miko smiled.  "I don't know about you, Guardian Spirit, but I'm going to
take a bath."

	Ranma raised his eyebrows.  "Bath?"

              -----------===================-----------
              |        Writen and Directed by:        |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins        |
              -----------===================-----------

	Ranma jumped back in fright and pointed a finger at the pool before him.
"Your not seriously considering taking a bath in that!"

	They stood before what Ranma believed were the infamous Cursed Springs of
Jusenkyo--well, actually he cringed.  Miko, however, casually walked up to
the pool she had picked out of many (one along the outer edge) and stuck
her hand in the water to check its temperature.  "Why?  I take a bath here
all the time."

	"Y-you do?"

	Miko then stood up and started pulling her shirt off. (OLD VOICE: Ooooh.
Pretty lady.) "Sure.  This is my favorite spot."

	"Ack!  Miko, what're ya doing?"  Ranma immediately started looking around
nervously, half expecting Akane to inconveniently walk onto the scene..

	"Getting undressed, silly.  You don't expect me to take a bath with...."
She dropped her shirt to the ground and looked infinitely worried and
insecure.  "Oh no!  You don't find anything wrong with my body do you?"
(OLD VOICE: Oooooooh!  Ahhhhhhhhh!)

	Ranma faced forward and waved a hand excitedly in front of him.  "No, no,
no, it's not that, it's just.... *sigh*  It's nothing."  He closed his eyes
lightly, almost disappointed Akane didn't show.

	Miko stared at him curiously for a while longer before shedding her
trousers and stepping into the water.
	

              -----------===================-----------
              |    Based on Characters Created by:    |
              |           Rumiko Takahashi            |
              -----------===================-----------

	Miko waded in the water a bit, watching her guardian spirit, who was
crouched at the edge of the pool, glowering as he stared at his reflexion
and occasionally at her.

	Miko moved closer to him and tried to look into his eyes.  "Is something
wrong, Guardian Spirit?"

	Ranma groaned, "I'd rather not talk about it right now."

	Miko frowned.  She had been fairly patient, but she was getting annoyed
with everything he wasn't telling her--he already owed her two long,
complex stories.  She smiled, this time with a little mischief she rarely
indulged in.  "You need to learn to relax, Guardian Spirit.  Why don't you
take a bath with me?" (CHEF'S NOTE: DIE, BITCH!  ....  Oh.  Sorry.)

	Ranma looked startled for a second, then turned sullen again and politely
answered, "No." (CUTE VOICE: Good boy!)

	Suddenly, Miko flung a large handfull of water into Ranma's face and
quickly waded backwards, laughing out loud.  "I insist."  Ranma, now of the
female persuasion, remained frozen in her crouch with strands of red hair
matted against her face and mouth gaped in disbelief.  Her ripped shirt
sagged loosely off of one shoulder and was ready to fall off the other.

	Miko cupped her mouth and tried to suppress another laugh.  Ranma smirked.
 "Why you little...."  She cupped her hands and sent an enormous amount of
water in Miko's direction, which effected opposite reactions--with Miko
staring in disbelief and Ranma laughing.

	Miko launched another handful of water.  Ranma jumped back before it hit
and quickly stripped her clothes off.  "Ok!  That's it!"  She jumped in
with Miko and they instantly proceeded to slap water in each other's
direction.  (CHEF'S NOTE: Aw, Ranchan!  I thought we shared something
special and unique last fanfic!  And here you are already taking baths with
other women! Hmph!)

              -----------===================-----------
              |      Ranma Saotome and Miko Lee       |
              |                  in:                  |
              -----------===================-----------

	Ranma leaned against the side of the pool facing away from the many other
pools, hands clasped behind her head, and sighed.  _I can't believe I'm
actually taking a bath in a cursed spring.  But I guess if this is really
the past, some of these springs won't be cursed yet._  "Thank you."

	Miko raised her eyebrows.  "Hm?  What for?"

	"I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time." (CHEF'S NOTE: But you did
with me, Ranchan!  Or have you already forgotten?!)

	Miko moved over next to her guardian.  (CHEF'S NOTE: GRRRR!) (CUTE VOICE:
Yeah.  Grrr....) (CHEF'S NOTE: SHUT UP!) (CUTE VOICE: Eep.) "You must
really lead a rough life, Guardian Spirit."

	"Yeah.  Tell me about it."

	Miko frowned.  "No.  Why don't YOU tell ME about it."

	Miko started to get out of the pool (CHEF'S NOTE: Exhibitionist!) and
Ranma sat up as if waking from a daze.  "Huh?  Wha... what're you.... oh."
Ranma watched as Miko started drying herself with her torn shirt. (CHEF'S
VOICE: Voyeur!) "Hey!  What's the big idea?  What'm I supposed to wear now?"

	Still drying herself off, Miko walked over to her own clothes and pulled
an extra pair of clothes seemingly from out of nowhere.  "I mended them
before morning meal.  What do you think?"  Ranma smiled when she recognized
them as her own favorite Chinese outfit.

	Ranma dunked her head underwater before getting out to dry herself with
the remaining pants she didn't need anymore. (CHEF'S NOTE: They're both
perverts.)

              -----------===================-----------
              |             NYANNIICHUAN              |
              |           Very Tragic Story           |
              |                Part 3                 |
              |      "I'm Not As Weak As I Look"      |
              -----------===================-----------

	A gray wolf trotted noiselessly through the trees and brush and watched
the twin red-headed girls as they made their way along the faint trail
leading from the springs to Doshin's cottage. (OLD VOICE: The Big, Bad Wolf
must be in shock.) (NOTE: Huh?) He had no idea what happened to Lon and
couldn't report back to the palace without facing a death squad, so for
now, all he could do was follow them.

	Miko hummed a sweet tune as she immitated her guardian spirit's movements
once again, walking by her side at the same carefree stroll and clasping
her hands behind her head in careful contemplation.  Ranma felt
uncomfotable with her friend's efforts to copy her and occasionally changed
positions, but the other just changed her own position at almost the same
exact time until Ranma felt like she was walking past a long mirror.  Ranma
eventually forgot about Miko's mimicry as she found something else that
interested her. (CHEF'S NOTE: It better be something other than Miko,
Ranchan!)

	Miko folded her arms like her guardian, but kept her face forward when she
noticed that her companion was eyeing her up and down like a farmer might
size up a stock animal at an auction (CHEF'S VOICE: Cow!).  Miko bit her
lip as she stifled a laugh.  "Am I really that interesting, Guardian Spirit?"

	Ranma clasped her hands behind her head again--Miko noticed she'd do that
when she was at least partially nervous.  "I was just tryin to figure out
what you did with that old outfit I had on.  I mean, you didn't leave it
back at the spring, and it's kinda hard to hide a whole outfit on a body
like mine... I mean, yours... without it showin."  

	Miko reached under her blouse and pulled out part of the torn shirt, then
shoved it back in.  She smiled proudly.  "Is that what you're talking  about?"

	Ranma leaned forward, but saw no bulge to indicate where she stuffed it.
"Yeah.  I don't see it under your clothes." (CUTE VOICE: Pervert!)

	Miko blushed and half-turned.  "You never told me you could see through my
clothes."

	Ranma sighed and rolled her eyes.  "That's not what I meant."

	Miko stopped walking, clasped her hands behind her back, and started
rocking on her heels.  "So you want to know where I put it?"

	Ranma stood in front of her and nodded once. (CHEF'S NOTE: Letch!)

	Miko smiled and taunted, "Not until you tell me something about yourself."

	Ranma sighed and nodded, then felt her stomach growling.  "But could we
get something to eat first?"

	Miko looked at her guadian curiously.  "But we just ate not too long ago."

	Ranma started rocking on her heels like Miko had done and started humming
the same sweet tune.  Miko sighed and started walking away from the trail.
"Ok, Guardian Spirit.  Follow me."

	The wolf sniffed the air one more time for Lon and his troops, but
everyone was too far away.  He sneered, then padded after the girls.

				*	*	*	*	*

	A small group of children gathered to watch a dark-haired clown as he
danced around the cobbled street juggling several lit torches.  His face
was painted like a chinadoll, pale cream with light blue eyeshadow and a
few blue circles under the eyes, so he could easily pass as a mime as well.
 His jumpsuit was white with blue spots with deep blue streamers attached
to the arms like a series of kite tails.  He liked dressing up as a clown
as much as he enjoyed being one.

	He started hopping around on one foot, juggling the torches under his leg,
when he noticed the two red-headed girls walking into town.  He threw the
torches into the air and gaped his mouth in mock-surprise, then quickly
started stumbling as he was apparently losing control of his act.  The
children gasped as the fiery sticks rained down on him, but they all seemed
to bounce back into the air again.  The clown staggered backward, juggling
the non-burning halves of the torches off of his arms and shoulders until
he could catch each one in his hands.  He then bowed with a flourish and
everyone applauded.

	"But... Guardian Spirit... I don't understand.  You mean you have three
fiancees?"

	"Weellllll....  It's a little more complicated than that.  *sigh*  This is
gonna take a while to explain."

	Miko took Ranma's arm and led her a little faster down the street.
"That's Ok, Guardian Spirit, you can tell me while you eat.  We're almost
there."

	Ranma sighed again, then suddenly jerked Miko back and, in a flurry of
arms, caught five lit torches that fell from the sky.  Miko's chest was
heaving as if she were sure she was about to die.  Ranma stared coldly at
the clown several feet in front of her, who just smiled innocently and
shrugged.

	Ranma walked up to the clown and shoved the torches into his hands.
"Watch it next time, pal!"  The clown stepped back and bowed, then
proceeded to snuff the fires out on the pavement.

	Ranma walked back and grabbed Miko's arm.  "C'mon, let's go."  Miko
regained her wits and directed her guardian to a large wooden building just
a little further down the steet.

	The clown turned to watch the two go, then he heard a light tapping behind
him.  He turned back and watched as a large, gray wolf padded toward him.
The children on the street scattered, but the clown just smiled.  When the
wolf reached him, he dropped into a crouch and held out a pretty, yellow
flower.

				*	*	*	*	*

	"What does Liu-Sing think he is doing?"  Salon sat on the ground and held
a crystal ball in front of her.  The Empress sat beside her with a
what-the-hell's-going-on look on her face.  The cave was dimly lit, just
dark enough to give the impression that spirits were at work.

	Salon chuckled.  "If you knew him as much as you thought you knew him,
then you would know."  The Empress ground her teeth, but the witch
pretended not to notice.  "Obviously, he's trying to size up that brat's
new friend, and I must say I'm impressed.  She didn't even get singed."

	The Empress folded her arms in the I-knew-that posture and continued to
stare.  Soon, her face rather unroyally contorted with confusion.  "And now
what is he doing--giving a dog a flower?"

	Salon smiled.  "I believe it's a peace offering to Pae-Kau.  Yes.  He's
promising not to report Pae-Kau to the Emperor if he aggrees to an
alliance.  Very clever."

	The Empress enforced her I-knew-that pose.  "I wish you knew a spell that
allowed us to read his thoughts as well as see what he sees."

	Salon chuckled, "I do.  But we do not need it... My Queen."

				*	*	*	*	*

	"THIS is your guardian spirit, Miko?"  The innkeeper stood by Miko's chair
and stared suspiciously at Ranma-chan, who was in the process of wolfing
down a large bowl of steamed rice with pork and vegetables.  Miko smiled
and nodded.

	The innkeeper chuckled, "Well, she eats like she's pregnant."  Miko burst
out laughing, finding so much irony in it.

	"Hey!  Don't even joke about that, Ok!"  Ranma scowled at the brawny man,
then started eating much more slowly.

	"I apologize, miss."  Ranma groaned and the innkeeper wondered what he
said wrong.  "I just meant that you look a little delicate to be eating so
much in one sitting."  Ranma groaned again.

	Miko glanced at the innkeeper.  "She's really a very strong fighter.
Father couldn't defeat her during morning practice."  Ranma had no comment.

	His eyes widened.  "Well, I suppose that a fighting spirit can inhabit
even the weakest of forms...."  Both Ranma and Miko groaned, and he started
sweating.  "But he may have just been going easy since his sparring partner
was a woman...."  Ranma started growling.  "That is to say, that unless
Doshin's been slacking in old age...."  Miko stared up at him with a
pointed look like a wild dog defending her territory. (CHEF'S NOTE: A
bitch, I tell you!  Like a bitch!) "Well... I think I've left something
burning on the stove.  If you'll excuse me...."  The innkeeper bowed and
hastily retreated to the kitchen.

	Ranma continued her fast-paced eating.  _Jerk._  She looked over at Miko,
who just sat there watching her.  "Are you sure you don't want anything?"

	"I'm sure.  I don't eat very much anyway."  She leaned forward a bit.  "So
tell me something about yourself.  Like why you turn into a girl when you
get wet.  That is..."  She made herself look smaller and started nervously
twiddling her thumbs.  "...unless it's a bad memory to remember."

	Ranma sighed.  "No.  I might as well tell you.  I need to talk to you
about that anyway."  Miko smiled triumphantly.  Ranma quickly finished off
the rest of her rice and began: "You see, it all started...."

	Ranma and Miko both turned when the front door swung open and the clown
they had seen on the street came merrily prancing inside juggling three
swords.  Everyone at the other tables looked up, some smiling in amusement.
 The clown looked at Ranma's table and his face brightened in recognition.
He walked up and started entertaining Miko, but Ranma stared around the
room, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck prickle in warning.

	After a few seconds, Ranma saw a wolf come through the front door and head
for the kitchen.  All the other customers stopped eating to stare at it.
The clown only looked mildly amused.  Something was going on.  Ranma stood
up and grabbed Miko's hand.  "C'mon.  We hafta get outa here."

	Miko tried to resist at first, but then let her guardian lead her toward
the door.  She asked, "But why...."

	The clown suddenly hurled two swords across the room and one at Ranma's
head.  The first two sank into the wall beside the kitchen; Ranma dodged
the third and pushed Miko out of the way so it wouldn't graze her.  Miko
stumbled sideways and the clown was instantly by her side, pulling her
back.  Everybody not participating in the inevitable fight instantly vacated.

	"Hey!  Hands off, creep!"  Ranma launched herself in the air and thrust
her foot at the clown's face, but he grabbed her ankle and threw her across
the room toward the sword he tried to impale her with. (His mistake.)

	Ranma landed against the wall on her feet, grabbed the sword (luckily it
was close enough), rolled forward on the ground, and hurled the weapon at
him.  It traveled faster than he expected and the pommel hit him square on
the forehead.  He lost his balance and Miko ran to a safe corner.  The
clown yelled, "Pae-Kau!  Are you quite done yet?!"

	Answering his summons, Pae-Kau burst through the kitchen door;  he was
wearing a pair of oversized overalls and his hair was wet.  The clown,
still dazed, pointed to the swords by the kitchen door.  Pae-Kau saw them
and easily pulled them out.

	Pae-Kau twirled his swords impressively but unnecessarily while the clown
(NOTE: Psssst.  It's Liu-Sing, if you haven't guessed already.) (CHEF'S
NOTE: Moron.) started stumbling in Ranma's direction.  Liu-Sing moved to
the left, so Ranma dodged to the right, but somehow he caught her in the
middle.  Pae-Kau spun his sword like twin propeller blades and lashed out
at Ranma.  She pushed against the floor with her feet and forced the clown
to stumble backwards, but not before having her clothing sliced in several
places.

	Ranma kicked off the floor again and backflipped over Liu-Sing, but he
arched his back and used the momentum to drive her head into the floor.
Shrugging off the pain, she kicked her feet into the air and brought them
down on the clown's stomach, then sprang from his grasp.

	Upon landing, Ranma barely had enough time to dodge a swordthrust.  She
jumped back just as another blade stabbed at her, but this time, she
executed a chestnut fist and reduced the blade to dust (NOTE: Hey.  It
worked on Mousse.).  The attacker jumped back in surprise.

	Pae-Kau stared at his broken weapon in amazement.  Ranma stared at her
shredded shirt and noticed that she was bleeding in a few places, although
only minorly.  Miko cringed in the corner of the inn, too frightened to
move; she gasped when she noticed her guardian was hurt.  Liu-Sing was just
dragging himself off the ground, still doubled over from the blow; he
wheezed, "Not bad," and fell backward.

	Pae-Kau grinned and chuckled lightly.  "I must say, I would have never
thought that a mere girl could make such a formidable opponent.  I would
like to know your name before you die.  I am Pae-Kau Taotse, of the Wing Do
School of Swordsmanship."  He bowed, sweeping his arms dramatically outward.

	Ranma growled.  _So, what now?  Is he gonna start spitting poetry or
somethin?_  She pointed at his feet and shouted, "Look!  Someone dropped a
fifty yen coin!"

	Pae-Kau looked down at the ground in confusion.  "What's a fifty yen coin?"

	Before the swordsman knew what hit him, he was lying on his back and
seeing stars.  Ranma held her foot in the air a few seconds longer, her
eyes lightly closed, as she forced herself to calm down.  "Jerk!  Who're
you callin a girl?"

	Lui-Sing slammed into her before she could sense his attack, but she still
managed to roll sideways before he could grab her.  She sprang into a
battle-ready stance.  "Can't you guys just stay down!"  The clown just
stared at her and fumbled sightly, still stunned from her blow, it seemed.

	Ranma shook her head and relaxed her posture.  "Man.  It looks like you've
just about had it."  She walked up and poked the unsteady clown on the
forehead.  He weaved a few times before falling sideways.  "Wha?"

	On his way down, the clown latched onto her legs and forced her to fall
with him.  As soon as she hit the floor, he dropped a leg across her chest.

	Ranma instantly grabbed his leg, jumped to her feet, and hurled the clown
into the front door (and somehow, it held).  Her chest heaved as she held
her arms over her breasts.  "Hey!  That's a sensitive place to hit a girl
in, y'know!"

	Liu-Sing stood up and bowed apologetically, then made the traditional
Takahashi hand gesture as the door crashed inward and flattened him into
the ground.  Ranma's eyes widened and her teeth started chattering.  On top
of the door sat the biggest, strangest-colored cat Ranma had ever seen.

	Miko's face brightened.  "Twilight!"  The shimmercat trotted over to Miko,
and she started rubbing its neck.  Ranma dropped to her knees and followed
the cat's movements with frozen fear, like a deer dazzled by oncoming
headlights, totally oblivious of everything else.  "Is something wrong,
Guardian Spirit?"  Ranma stammered to say the one word that passed
repeatedly through her mind.

	"EEEE!!!  Guardian Spirit, look out!"  Pae-Kau strode up to Ranma with
sword raised over his head, but Ranma's mind had gone blank and she didn't
understand what Miko said.

	Pae-Kau stared at her one last time.  "You truly were a worthy opponent,
Pig-tailed Stranger."  Miko drew herself in even farther.  Twilight put a
paw over her eyes.

	!BONK!  Pae-Kau fell to the floor.  The innkeeper stood over him wearing a
number of long aprons to make up for the overalls the swordsman had
confiscated.  He bounced a large, metal frying pan in his hand and said, "I
think your guardian spirit needs a few more fighting lessons."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ranma started to blink her eyes open.  She heard herself mumbling
something about cats, and an image lingered in her half-awareness of a
blue-and-orange tigerstriped face that almost seemed human, and she was
surprised to find that she felt calm in its presence--but then again, it
was only an image.

	"Thyme?"  Ranma suddenly sat up, then winced and rubbed the back of her
head when it started throbbing.  "Ow.  What happened?"

	She heard Miko's voice as if through a long tunnel: "Hn?  I was hoping you
could tell me, Guardian Spirit.  You were fighting so well against those
men in the inn, but then you just... froze."

	It all came back to Ranma in a flash.  She snapped her eyes open to find
herself staring directly into Miko's worried face.  Doshin was moving
around behind her, putting something on the table under the window.  Miko
continued, "You went into hysterics every time we tried to move you.  I
finally had to use Father's sleeping powder to calm you down."  Miko drew
back a bit.  "Unfortunately, headaches tend to be the one side effect, but
that will go away."

	Ranma looked around and realized she was in Miko's room and in Miko's bed.
 "How'd I get here?"

	"I asked Tan, the innkeeper, to carry you here."  She giggled.  "I think
he likes you, Guardian Spirit."

	Ranma was just about to comment when she looked down and noticed that she
wasn't wearing a shirt.  She shrieked and covered her breasts.  "What'd you
do with my clothes!"

	Doshin walked to Ranma's side and handed her an oddly-shaped berry.
"Here.  Eat this and the headache will subside quicker."  He met Ranma's
eyes with a warning, apparently still mad about earlier, and held her gaze
for an uncomfortably long time (a second and a half), then he went back to
whatever he was doing before.

	Miko looked startled by her outburst.  "I only took your shirt to mend it
again.  And it's not like I haven't seen you without your clothes
before...." (CHEF'S NOTE: Pervert.)  Ranma peeked under her covers to make
sure her pants were still there--and they were.  Miko snapped, "Hey! You
didn't actually think that I would...?!"  She crossed her arms and huffed.
"I'm NOT that kind of girl!"

	"Miko!  I didn't mean it THAT way."

	"Oh, then just what were you trying to imply?"

	Doshin suppressed a smile as he exited the room.

	(NOTE: Is it just me, or does it seem like Happousai's still co-authoring
this one?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Hmph!  Happy can keep his job!  I'm not writing a
story with that Chinese lesbian BITCH in it!) (OLD VOICE: At least she's
taking it better than expected.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	Liu-Sing stood up and dusted himself off.  His clown suit was slightly
charred and sizzling and his facepaint was dripping onto his collar.
"Salon.  Could you PLEASE do SOMETHING about your teleportation spells?  I
swear they'll be the death of me."  He held back as much frustration as he
could.

	He was now back in the cave.  The Empress was pacing again.  Salon was
quietly contemplating her crystal ball, watching through Liu-Sing's eyes as
the Empress moved back and forth.

	The Empress fumed, "She got away!  But how can this be?  From what hell
hath a creature such as she have spawned?"  Salon smiled, finding a strange
pleasure in spying on her queen without actually looking at her--even
though she was only sitting ten paces away with her back turned.

	Liu-Sing chuckled at the overexaggeration.  "I would not go that far,
My... Chun Mae.  But she is quite good."

	She stopped pacing and folded her arms.  "That does not change the fact
that she got away!"  Salon mouthed the same words at the scene in her crystal.

	Liu-Sing, having waved away all the smoke he was emitting, pulled four red
balls from his pocket and started juggling. (OLD VOICE: I don't even want
to know. !BAM!) (NOTE: Thank you, Shampoo.) (CUTE VOICE: My pleasure.) "I
learned what I needed to know."

	"And that would be?"  Salon mouthed the same words at the image, then
stuck her tongue out at it.

	"Her strengths and weaknesses, of course..."  He stopped juggling and
slipped the balls back in his pocket.  "...and whether or not she poses a
threat to us."

	The Empress smiled slyly.  "And...."  Salon copied her facial movements,
put her index finger under her eye, then stuck her tongue out.  (CUTE
VOICE: This no one of Shampoo ancestors, I hope.)

	The clown matched his queen's expression.  "Next time, I won't be holding
back."

	Solon made fishlips at the image, then noticed that Chun Mae had walked
out of the picture.  She quickly swiveled around and came face-to-face with
the Empress, there eyes meeting only inches from each other.  "Are you
QUITE done with making fun of me behind my back!"  Salon put on a goofy smile.

				*	*	*	*	*

	The Emperor gave a relaxing sigh as he lounged on a large, red satin couch
in one of the harem's chambers with his many, beautiful harem girls--whose
"outfits" looked like bikinis with sheer veils hanging around them. (OLD
VOICE: Huh?  Pretty ladies?) (NOTE: Oh, look.  It's awake.)  One girl knelt
by his head and massaged his temples; two more sat by his side and fanned
him with oversized bird feathers; one straddled his waist and massaged his
exposed chest; and one generously rubbed his feet. (OLD VOICE: Oooooh!  I'd
love to be in his place.) (NOTE: But the girl straddling his waist would
practically be sitting on your.... *growl* Nevermind.)  The dozen or so
others either went to get wine and food or sat around and looked pretty.

	The girl at his head cooed softly, "Your Highness is more tense than
usual.  May it be because of the new girl?"

	The Emperor felt too at ease to get angry with her--and she knew that.  He
chuckled.  "Partially.  You are very resourceful to find out so fast."

	"News spread quickly of Lon's defeat.  I imagine the whole palace has
heard the story by now."

	The Emperor pursed his lips.  _Now, it would seem that my champion had
better redeem himself fast, or else he may lose popularity--losing to a
woman.  This is important news._  "Thank you, my dear."  The girl sighed
joyously and redoubled her efforts with her fingers.  The Emperor smiled at
how effective a well-placed compliment could be.

	There came a rapping (OLD VOICE: A rapping on my chamber door.) at the
main doors, and the Emperor sent two of the girls to answer it. (OLD VOICE:
Only this, and nothing more.) (CHEF'S NOTE: Geez.  Now that was lame.)

	They returned shortly with Liu-Sing in tow, each of them with their arms
wrapped around his; another girl pressed against him from behind and played
with his chest.  If he had any interest in them at all, he didn't show it.
He had just gotten through with wiping off all his makeup when he was
summoned, but he hadn't yet changed his smouldered clothes.

	Liu-Sing stood by the side of the couch and bowed; the three girls bowed
with him as if it were a game.  He then gestured with his head at the girl
behind him and stated, "This beautiful creature said that you wished to see
me, Your Highness."  She sighed dreamily.

	The Emperor propped himself on his elbow and chuckled at his jester's
slightly-cooked look.  "Has Salon been giving you a hard time?  You could
have changed before you came here."

	Liu-Sing smiled.  _Unusually nice and informal.  Maybe he's drunk._  "I
thought that my appearance might amuse you."

	Emperor Fang rested back onto his pillow, laughing.  "That it has."  His
face suddenly became gravely serious.  "The Dark One is almost here.  I can
feel it.  He will arrive some time today."

	The jester sighed.  _Can't he think of something else to call him besides
'The Dark One'?  It is so cliche._

	"I need you to inform Lon to keep his distance should he see him.  I do
not wish to lose my best warrior due to a misunderstanding."

	Liu-Sing was about to ask why he was being sent and not a soldier, but he
didn't want to spoil his emperor's good mood with backtalk, so he just
bowed--with the girls giggling beside him.  "I shall leave right away, Your
Highness."

	The Emperor waved his hand as if dismissing an idea, and one of the girls
with nothing to do rushed over and started massaging it, but he didn't
mind.  "Why not stay a while, Liu-Sing?  Give someone else a chance to
entertain YOU for a change."  The jester glanced at the girls around him,
who snuggled closer at the suggestion.  "You see.  They like you."

	Liu-Sing gently pushed away.  "I am sorry, ladies.  Business before
pleasure."  He walked off and the three girls stood in place and pouted,
then moved over to the couch to find something to massage.

	The Emperor sighed, "A pity."

				*	*	*	*	*

	"But why won't you teach me how to fight, Daddy?"

	"We've been through this before.  Fighting is too dangerous for a girl to
learn."

	Miko was practically begging her father while at the same time holding
back an intense anger and frustration she felt.  Doshin was standing in the
middle of the livingroom with his arms folded, his eyes closed so his
daughter couldn't see how much their argument was paining him.  Reikiba was
leaning against the back wall watching the two, feeling more confused than
he'd ever felt.

	Miko stood in front of her father, clutched her hands in front of her
chest, and made the saddest puppydog eyes anyone had ever seen, but he
refused to look at her. (OLD VOICE: Smart man.) (CUTE VOICE: Yeah.) She
cried, "But people could have been hurt back at the inn!" (CUTE VOICE:
Attackers were.)

	Doshin turned away from her.  "YOU would have gotten hurt if you tried to
fight!  Your guardian spirit is here to fight for you!"  Something about
his own words made him grimmace.

	Miko threw her arms out dramatically behind his back.  "But she almost got
killed!  And I couldn't do anything about it!"

	Reikiba mumbled, not entirely certain he should be speaking up (CHEF'S
NOTE: Buy a clue, jackass!), "Uh....  Excuse me for interrupting..."

	Miko and Doshin shot cold glances at the samurai, and he shrugged back a
bit but continued his thought anyway: "I'm feeling kind of left out here,
and I was just wondering if Miko would introduce me to her twin sister."
He pointed past them.

	Doshin and Miko quickly turned their heads around.  Ranma-chan stood in
the doorway to the hall holding a blanket around herself, looking almost as
confused as the samurai.

	Miko took a step toward her.  "Uh.  When I said you were almost killed, I
just meant that...."  She suddenly looked shocked.  "Guardian Spirit!?  How
long have you been standing there?!"

	Ranma stared around the room and fidgeted.  "Uh... uh... er... I was...
uh...."

	Miko whined, "But your wounds!  You should be in bed!"

	Doshin put a hand on his daughter's shoulder.  "Now don't worry about your
guardian spirit.  I'm sure he's strong enough to...."

	Miko slapped his hand away furiously and shouted, "And why can't I be just
as strong!?!"  Her limbs quivered with restless energy, and Ranma could
have swore she saw the faint outline of a battle aura.

	Doshin whispered harshly, "Please, Miko!  Not in front of guests!"

	She seemed to snap back to herself, suddenly embarrassed for blowing up
like that in front of her guardian.  She almost burst into tears on the
spot, but she would not allow herself to appear weak; instead, she turned
to her father and yelled, "Fine!  If you won't teach me to fight, then I'll
just have to learn on my own!"  She stormed out of the house before she
could feel guilty about it.

	Doshin was infinitely hurt by his daughter's words, like Soun when Ranma
made Akane cry.  Ranma was petrified, unsure whether she should have walked
into the room unannounced in the first place.  Doshin looked directly at
her and silently uttered the word "Ranma" before he could say no more.

	Ranma understood that he wanted her to follow Miko.  She nodded slowly,
then peeked underneath her blanket.  "Can I get some hot water first?"

	She watched as Doshin wordlessly left for the kitchen.  She then glanced
at the strange, new samurai leaning against the back wall; he shrugged.
Suddenly, Ranma was assualted by about a liter of scalding water.  "Yeow!"
Reibiba raised his eyebrows at the transformation, but said nothing.

	Ranma-kun turned to see Doshin holding a washpan.  "Hey!  What's the big
idea?!  That's hot!"  Doshin walked straight toward him, a very unhappy
look crossing his face.  Ranma started backing up, and kept backing up
until he was stopped by the front door.  "Uh...  that is... I mean... uh...
I think I'll go check on Miko."  With that, Ranma hastily exitted the
house.  Doshin heard Ranma's fading voice: "Hey, Miko!  Wait up!  Miko!"

	Doshin sighed and looked calmly at his other guest, who smiled and said,
"I can already tell how much they really like you." (CHEF'S NOTE: Jackass.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	"So, Miko.  Where're we off to this time?"  Ranma strode by Miko's side
with his hands in his pocket.  It felt kind of nice walking around without
a shirt--the subtle mixture of cool breeze and warm sun against his skin
helped to calm his nerves.

	Miko, on the other hand, was still furious, much indicated in the way she
stomped the poor grass beneath her into oblivion.  Without turning, she
growled, "I have work to do, and you don't need to follow me!"

	Ranma shrugged.  "That's Ok.  I wanna come with you. (CHEF'S NOTE: You
want to what, Ranchan!?!) (OLD VOICE: Now who's the pervert, Miss Kuonji?)
Maybe there's somethin I can do to help."

	"I don't need your help!"

	Ranma thought about it.  "Well, Ok, then I'll just watch you do...
whatever." (CHEF'S NOTE: Excuse me?!)

	Miko swiveled around in front of him and balled her fists.  "I CAN TAKE
CARE OF MYSELF!  I'M NOT WEAK!"  She felt like crying again, and this time,
she wouldn't be able to stop it.

	Ranma was momentarily startled, watching her chest heave eratically,
noticing again the faint blue of chi energy trying to rise past the
surface--he wondered how long she'd been suppressing her battle aura to
make it appear so depleated.  He suddenly felt more compassionate toward
her. (CHEF'S NOTE: WHAT?!) (NOTE: COMpassionate.) He said calmly, "I don't
think you're weak."

	Miko's eyes widened and glistened in the sunlight.  She threw her arms
around him and cried, "Thank you, Guardian Spirit!" then burried her face
into his chest. (CHEF'S NOTE: AAAAAAAAAAAA!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING RANCHAN LET
GO OF THAT BITCH!!!) (OLD VOICE: Ever hear of Prozac?)

	Ranma didn't take his hands out of his pockets, but neither did he try to
move away.  He didn't have much experience dealing with women--himself
being excluded--but he knew he should do something.  He started to say
'Your welcome', but instead, he yelled, "WAAAAAAA!  GET AWAY GET AWAY!!!"

	He suddenly jerked her away, but somehow, she steadied herself and kept
herself from falling.  Feeling suddenly rejected, she was about to resume
her tears in full force, but then realized that Ranma was cringing on the
ground, shivering as though he were doomed to die.  She dropped to her
knees and shrieked, "What's wrong, Guardian Spirit?"

	Ranma pointed a shaky finger in her direction.  "C-c-c-c-ca-ca-cat."

	Miko blinked a few times, then glanced over her shoulder.  Twilight sat at
the edge of the treeline, her tongue hanging out like a faithful dog
greeting its master.  "It's only Father's familiar.  He won't harm us.
C'mon Twilight!  It's alright!  He's a friend!"

	Miko observed that with every step the shimmercat took, Ranma would scoot
two paces back.  She held out her hand and the cat sat down.  "Why are you
so afraid of her?"  No response.

	Miko waved the cat away.  Twilight moped back to the jungle wondering what
she did wrong this time.  Miko turned back to Ranma and started shaking him
gently.  "Snap out of it, Guardian Spirit.  Twilight wouldn't have hurt
us." (CHEF'S NOTE: Pity.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Your FATHER strapped FISH to you and threw you into a pit of CATS!  What
kind of MONSTER is he to do such a thing?!"  Miko was furious all over
again, but for different reasons.  Ranma had just finished explaining how
his pop had tried to teach him cat-fu, but he left off the part about how
he actually DOES the cat-fist--he didn't want her to burst a blood vessel.
"How could such a SADISTIC FIEND FROM HELL be permitted to LIVE?!"

	Ranma strolled behind her with his hands clasped behind his head, elbows
in the air, and tried not to look at her directly.  It was bad enough that
he felt like laughing out loud at how she described his pop--'sadistic
fiend from hell' was going a bit far, but he'd heard worse.  For now, Miko
seemed completely different than when he first met her, and he wasn't sure
what he should think of it.

	Miko suddenly turned around.  "If your father is the type of ANIMAL that
can do something like THAT, there's no telling what he could be capable of!
 He's probably the reason why your life is so difficult, why you have more
than one fiancee, why... why...!"

	_Well... he is an ANIMAL and...._  Ranma tried as hard as he could not to
laugh.  He didn't feel it within his honor to make fun of his own pop
behind his back--he'd wait until he got home to laugh in his face. (OLD
VOICE: That's the spirit!) He held it back so much that his face flushed
and tears came to his eyes, making it appear as though he were ready to cry.

	Miko rushed to his side and placed a hand on his chest.  "I'm sorry,
Guardian Spirit.  I didn't mean to be cruel.  I just mean that I can't
believe someone like your father could have raised such an angel like you."

	Ranma instantly forgot about what was so funny and focused on what she
said.  _Wha.... That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long time.
 Actually, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me--period._  He
lowered his eyes, a large part of him wishing he could hear something like
that more often.

	Her eyes started watering yet again and she took a deep breath.  "I have
no doubt that you could have handled everything in the inn if Twilight
hadn't had come in, but if Tan hadn't have been there to stop that
swordsman, you could have been really hurt or possibly killed, and I
wouldn't have been able to do a thing to stop it because I can't fight
and..."  _...i'm useless._  She trailed off and started tracing the
already-fading scars on Ranma's torso, too choked to say any more.

	He scanned the area one last time to make sure Akane wasn't watching, then
carefully rested a hand on Miko's shoulder and asked softly, "Does it
really mean THAT much to you?"

	She nodded slowly.

	He sighed heavily, not believing what he was about to do.  But she did
have a point; and he might not always be around to protect her.  He droned,
"If it really means that much to you... I guess I could...."

	"Teach me to fight!"  Miko's face lit up as she finished his thought.
"You would do that for me, Guardian Spirit?!"

	Ranma started rocking on his heels.  "I... I guess that's what I'm sayin."

	Miko threw her arms around his waist and squeezed with all her bubbling
passion and tears of joy.  "Oh, thank you!"

	Ranma gasped, "Can't... breathe."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Lon stood on a cliff and stared across the springs of Jusenkyo in deep
thought.  He frequently visited the area to watch the sunlight sparkle of
the many sufaces, as he had when he was young--he found the landscape oddly
relaxing and it helped him concentrate.  Few people would have actually
believed that he would have held such a sentiment.

	He took in a deep breath and folded his arms.  He wasn't having a good
day.  Doshin escaped him... again; and then there was that door that
slammed in his face.  He reached up and lightly touched his cracked mask,
now falling to pieces on his face.  He'd have to replace it soon--he didn't
look forward to seeing people cringe when they saw what he looked like
underneath.

	He sighed and decided to stay a few more minutes.  A few birds twittered
above the pools.  He felt a presence walk up and stand beside him and he
heard an icy voice: "This place truly is a marvelous sight to behold."

	Without turning, Lon asked harshly, "Where did you come from?"

	"I come and go as I please.  As for where I am from... you would not
understand."

	Lon huffed.  "One of THOSE, are you?"  He glanced in the other's
direction, but only saw a black, billowy robe with dabs of white to
represent stars in the sky--and even constellations, it seemed (like a
piece of the night sky was cut out and sewn into cloth).

	The voice groaned noncommitally.  "And might you know where I can find the
holder of a certain rare, wooden idol?"

	Lon instinctively knew which item he was speaking of.  He growled and
faced him directly, but he could only see darkness in the cowl--he really
wasn't in the mood for company.  "That's no business of yours!"

	In the next instance, Lon found himself flying through the air and into
the jungle.  The robed man continued to peacefully look out across
Jusenkyo's springs.  He chuckled and mused to himself, "On the contrary, it
is very much my business."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Well.  I was going to do something else with this chapter, but it just
seemed to turn out this way.  The story should be greatly picking up from
this point--I mean, of course, when I start the next chapter.