R1/2 -- [Part 6]

	Nii hao.  Well, we've bound, gagged, and chloroformed Happousai, so things
shouldn't get so much out of hand here.  But I think we'll feel the tremors
of last chapter for years to come.

	I'd also like to intoduce a new member to the team.  Ms. Ukyou Kuonji.
(CHEF'S NOTE: Hi ya, sugar.)  She'll be our new editor, replacing me so I
won't have to use a co-author so much.  (CUTE VIOCE: Why you hire stupid
spatula girl?)  Because I couldn't put up with Kunou.

	Ms. Kuonji, would you do the honors?  (CHEF'S NOTE: Thank you, sugar.)

              -----------====================------------
              |       An Iron Dagger Production         |
              -----------====================------------

	Cologne was balancing on her staff in the middle of the kitchen, her eyes
closed in deep thought, with Mousse and Shampoo by her side.

	Shampoo cocked her head (CUTE VOICE: Why....) (NOTE: Enough of that
already!).  "What wrong, Great Grandmother?"

	Mousse adjusted his glasses.  "Yeah.  Are you still mad at us?"

	Cologne sighed.  "No.  It's not that.  Something terrible is about to
happen."

	Just then, their material bodies briefly phased out of existence and
phased back, and all of their clothes dropped noiselessly to the
ground--with exception to Mousse's robe, which clanked to the ground like a
giant change purse.  A fuzzy black dot with the word 'Censored' written in
white letters materialized in front of the ancient Amazon.

	Shampoo glanced at Mousse, shocked.  She never knew he was so well built
(NOTE: Hey hey hey hey!  I mean his chest!).

	Mousse picked his glasses off the floor and put them on.  The first thing
he saw was a wrinkled ball with white hair perched at the end of a staff.
When he realized who it was, his cheeks billowed and he shot for the bathroom.

	Cologne groaned and shook her head.

              -----------====================------------
              |         Writen and Directed by:         |
              |         Christopher Lee Collins         |
              -----------====================------------

	Kunou sailed out of orbit with his arms and legs crossed in a meditative
position.  _Why did that old man latch on to me as such and how did I find
myself flying through the air like a bird?  And for that matter, why do I
feel more draft up here than I usually encounter?"

	Like a guided missle--or a homing pigeon, take your pick--he soared down
to the Kunou estate, his head making a touchdown with the front sidewalk.
He sustained no real damage and continued to think upside-down.  _Could
that old man have been using some sort of black magic?_

	Meanwhile, the mansion itself seemed to rumble as if caught by an earthquake.

	!CRASH! !BOOM! "How DARE you take advantage of me like that in my weakened
state!"

	"But... but Mistress!  Our clothes just fell off!  I promise!"

	!CRACK! !CRASH! !CLATTER! "You get thee back, you little IMP!"

	"But Mistress Kodachi!"

	!POW! !CRASH! !BOOKS FALLING NOISE!

              -----------====================-------------
              |     Based on Characters Created by:      |
              |            Rumiko Takahashi              |
              -----------====================-------------

	Ranma's teeth began to chatter.  _If Sage's absorbed the old freak, then
we're all doomed!  No woman in Japan'll be safe!  He's gonna be impossible
to beat now!_

	Ranma snapped a glance toward her stunned duplicate and instantly smiled
at a new idea that just popped up.  _Maybe it won't be as impossible as I
think._  Ramna scooped up her clothes and ran as fast as she could toward
Thyme, who was hopelessly admiring all the people around her--whom she was
now eyeing with a very different perspective (NOTE: Don't ask.).

	Sage/Happousai saw Ranma coming and prepared to pounce.  Rosemary took the
white robe she was trying to cover herself with and threw it over the
little man's head.  She shouted, "Run, Ranma!  Get out of here!"

	Ranma barely heard her as she draped an arm around Thyme, scooped up the
clothes at her feet, and ran into the school.

	"What're you doing Rose!  Stop it!"  Rose took the end of the cloth she
had in her hand and pulled it taunt, ready to fling Sage out of the street,
but he was too heavy.  Too heavy?

	The person trapped in the cloth grew and grew and soon she was hanging
from the head of a giant police officer--in uniform.

	Realizing that she didn't stand a chance by herself, she immediately
dropped to the ground and ran in Ryouga's direction.  "You're coming with
me, Mr. Hibiki.  I require your services."  Ryouga was so spellbound by
Sage's metamorphasis that he was unaware of his surroundings--and stiff as
a mannequin.  (CUTE VOICE: What stiff?  What service?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Get
your mind out of the gutter, Honey!) Rose scooped him into her arms on
passing and disappeared around the corner.  (CUTE VOICE: What she do with
stupid pig boy?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Why?  Jealous?) (NOTE: Please!  I'm not
Happousai!)  (CUTE VOICE: Did Shampoo miss something?)

              -----------====================-------------
              |      Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo       |
              |                   in:                    |
              -----------====================-------------

	_I don't think Sage has seen us yet._  Ukyou was shaking like a leaf, but
that didn't stop her from blushing wildly at the fact that everyone on the
block had just seen her in the raw.  She glanced back at Akane, who was
frozen in place like a deer dazzled by oncoming headlights, and thought
(CHEF'S NOTE: Couldn't the author have run this whole scene with Ranchan in
his male form? *sigh*) _I hope Akane doesn't weigh as much as Ranchan lets
on._

	Ukyou crouched down to collect her weapons, but as soon as she placed her
hand on her shoulderstap, Sage turned his head in her direction.  Ukyou
gasped and Akane fainted.  Ukyou caught her when she fell forward and then
dashed around the school wall.

              -----------====================-------------
              |                HELLCATS                  |
              |               Chapter VI                 |
              |            "Best Left Alone"             |
              -----------====================-------------

	Soun and Mr. Panda ducked behind the parked car they were standing by and
peeked over the trunk.

	"Did you see what that man did, Saotome?"

	Mr. Panda nodded.

	"One minute he's the Master; next, he's a giant."

	Mr. Panda nodded.

	"We're all going to die, aren't we?"

	Mr. Panda nodded.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Sage, in the menacing guise of Kenny (minus the sword), sneered at the two
girls who had just fled the scene.  _I'll catch up to them later.  But
first, I have to take care of Thyme._

	He took a step toward the gate to Furinkan High before he noticed the
naked little girl with rediculously long hair still standing defiantly in
his path, her eyebrows slanted in anger.  "You are a very bad man!"

	Sage looked down at her with confusion, then smiled.  "You're a cute kid
and I don't want to have to hurt you..."  He pulled out a five-yen coin
from his pocket and flipped it with his thumb in her direction.  "... so
put some clothes on and go buy yourself some bubblegum or something."

	Without taking her eyes off the huge officer, Ms. Hinako reached up and
snatched the coin from the air just as it was about to sail over her
shoulder.  She slowly brought her hand in front of her while Sage finished
his sentence, then snapped her wrist back to display the coin between her
index finger and thumb.  "I won't let you harm my students!  Leave now, or
you'll be sorry!"

	Sage threw his head back and laughed.  "And what're you going to do?  Hit
me weally weally hard?"  He had had enough of this nonsense.  He reached
out to knock her out of the way.

	"Happo go-en satsu!"  A light mist pushed out from the coin and engulfed
Kenny/Sage, and he suddenly felt weaker.

	"What's going on here?"  Sage pushed forward with every ounce of energy,
watching as the child slowly grew into a fully-blossomed young woman.
_She's draining off my battle aura!  Interesting._  He put all his energy
into his arm and managed to reach over and grab her by the head.

	Ms. Hinako didn't understand it.  _He should be helplessly flopping around
in the breeze by now!  His aura is monsterous!  I can't absorb much more!_
She held her ground until he reached over and latched onto her head.

	A dim, red aura surrounded them both and Hinako was slowly assimilated.
Sage's chest was heaving and he had to revert to his base, half-feline
form.  _What's happening?  Her chi should have made up for all the others'
auras she stole!  But I feel so weak!"

	Sage staggered a bit, but soon steadied himself.  _I can't fight Thyme
like this.  I must rest first.  I can't go back to the sewer if Rosemary is
plotting against me...."

	Sage spun around when he heard something moving around behind a car.
"Show yourself!"

				*	*	*	*	*

	Soun and Mr. Panda watched from their hiding place as Kenny shrunk down to
the dark-shrouded figure they originally saw step from the trees.  He was
swaggering like a drunk.  When he steadied himself, he turned and yelled,
"Show yourself!"  Soun and the panda quickly ducked.

	Soun whispered, "You know, Genma, that if we don't do something, he's
going to check behind the car."

	Mr. Panda nodded.

	"I'm sorry about this, old friend."  Soun grabbed the panda's massive arm
with both hands and threw him to the side.

	Mr. Panda landed on his feet a few yards from the car's protection.  He
looked left and right for a place to run, but the trees were too far away.

	Sage pointed a clawed finger at him.  "You!  What are you doing here?"

	Mr. Panda looked around for someone else he could have been adressing as
he sweated profusely.  He finally held up a sign {{Don't look at me.  I'm
just an overgrown panda.}}

	Sage spat and took a step forward, but started staggering again as a wave
of nausea hit him.

	Soun, taking advantage of his enemy's injury, jumped over the hood of his
refuge with a wooden sign raised over his head, shouting," Don't worry,
Saotome, I'll save you!"

	He broke the sign over Sage's head, then triumphantly kicked him for good
measure.  "This way, Saotome!  Before he wakes up!"  He and the panda shot
for the school building.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: Morons.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ukyou ran a good distance down the street with Akane slung over her
shoulders, then made a terrific leap over the school wall.  All the
students had already run for cover, which was good since no one would see
her racing across the campus.  There were only two places she'd go in such
an emergency, and Ucchan's was too far away.

	A minute later, Ukyou laid Akane down on a bench in the girls' locker
room.  Akane appeared to be sleeping, but she could have been in shock for
all she knew--maybe Rosemary lost control of her ability again, or maybe
Akane was just the type of person who had to hold someone's hand during a
scary movie.

	Ukyou positioned Akane so that she wouldn't fall and made sure she was
breathing normally.  Then she walked over to her gymlocker, calling out to
one of the girls she knew was hiding around the corner, "Could you find
something to keep Akane warm?"

	Ukyou quickly undid the lock, opened the door, and extracted a change of
clothes (Ok.  A set of clothes.).  A short girl with long, blonde hair and
a towel tied under her arms nervously stepped out into the open.  Ukyou
pulled up her trousers and turned in the new girl's direction.  "Haven't
seen you around.  What's your name?"

	The shaken girl stared around at a few other girls that peeked from their
hiding places, then said weakly, "Hana."

	Ukyou slipped on a white shirt and reached in the locker for some spare
spatulas she kept there.  "So, Hana, you wouldn't happen to know the
combination to Akane's locker?" (CHEF'S NOTE: This is not a threat.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Ok!  Everybody hiding in the locker room'd better get out now or they'll
be really sorry!"  Ranma-chan walked into the boy's locker room, holding
one arm around Thyme's waist so she couldn't run and one hand over her eyes
so she wouldn't see anybody vacating the area.

	Almost a dozen faces popped up from various places and stared at the two
identicle, naked, crimson-haired, pig-tailed girls with confusion.  Ranma
sighed and rolled her eyes, then shouted, "All you perverts get out, NOW!"

	Everybody jumped out of hiding, some of them wearing towels and some of
them gym clothes, and they all rushed for the door at once.  Ranma had to
step out of the way to avoid being trampled.  _Jerks._

	Ranma sat Thyme down on a bench and pointed a finger at her as she stepped
into her own trousers.  "You've been a very bad girl, Thyme!  (OLD VOICE:
You deserve a spankin.) (NOTE: When did he get loose?!)  You don't know how
much trouble you've caused me already!  Now you just sit still while I...."

	Thyme made herself look smaller and pouted her lip, her eyes shimmering
with the beginning of tears.  "Nanna?"

	The tiny plea struck like a hammer.  Ranma mentally kicked herself and
wrapped her arms around Thyme's shoulders.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to
yell."  She pushed back when she realized what she was doing.

	Thyme sniffled, then smiled.  "I sorry Nanna."

	_That's the fourth time she's called me that!  Why?_  The question would
have to wait.  "Just sit there like a good little girl so I can give you a
present."

	Thyme smiled with glee and closed her eyes.  Ranma reached for a cup by
the sink and filled it with hot water.  She poured it on top of Thyme's
head and handed him a towel.  "Thank you," he said.

	Ranma got some more hot water from the tap and was ready to dump it on
herself when Thyme raised an arm.  "Wait!"

	"Huh?"  She lowered the cup.  "What's up?"

	Thyme drew in a breath and lowered his head.  "Forgive me, but I so rarely
get to see my own reflexion in female form, or at least not that I can
remember when I change back.  Imagine two hundred years of missing you own
reflexion."

	Ranma glanced in the mirror and was startled by the thought.  She put the
cup down and then took a seat on a bench facing him while she threw on her
Chinese shirt.

	Thyme added to his reasoning, "You also remind me of the girl who drowned
in Nyanniichuan so many years ago."

	Ranma paused while working on the middle button of her shirt and felt a
little shiver.  "You mean you know what the girl looked like?"

	Thyme slowly nodded.  "I guess you can call it a hobby.  I've been
researching for years about my curse's history--the 'very tragic story'."
He immitated the Jusenkyo guide and chuckled.  "I know so much about the
girl that I sometimes think of her as a long, lost relative."

	Ranma was shocked.  He'd always meant to ask the Jusenkyo guide about the
pool and its story.  "What was she like?  Do you know her name?"

	Thyme chuckled.  "There's so much I can say, but we don't have the time."
He pulled a silver marble out of the air like a circus magician and handed
it to her.  "This will answer all your questions.  Just concentrate on a
question and it will give you an answer." (NOTE: And that's another story
entirely.)

	Ranma rolled the tiny orb in her hand while a silent moment of thought
passed between them.  Thyme started the conversation again with, "I think I
may know a way you can get close enough to Sage."

	Ranma pocketed the marble.  "Yeah.  I may have an idea on that too."

	Each one waited to see if the other was going to start, then Thyme
politely insisted, "Ladies first."

	Ranma groaned.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Hana had placed several large towels across Akane's body in an effort to
keep her warm; the edgy blonde was now kneeling by her side and holding a
damp rag to her forehead (Akane's forehead!).  Ukyou stood at Akane's feet
and looked worried.

	"I think she's waking up now."  Hana's assurance came as a relief.  Ukyou
folded her arms and tried to look serious.

	Hana removed the damp rag just as her patient started to raise her
eyelids.  Akane blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light, then
moaned and brought a hand to her head.  "Where am I?"

	"Right now, we're in the girls' locker room.  I carried you here after you
fainted."  Ukyou tried not to sound too condescending, but her mind was
pondering other things.

	_That voice...._  Akane's head spun as all of her memories tried
desperately to piece themselves together.  _Something about that voice is
familiar._  She almost had it.

	"I'LL KILL YOU!!!"  Ukyou wasn't sure how Akane lept of the table so
fast--she didn't even see her get up; all she knew was that she was lying
on the ground and gasping for air.

	While she still had the energy, Ukyou brought her knees up and flipped her
attacker over her head and rolled to the side.  She felt her neck and knew
it was going to be bruised all the way around.

	Akane fell flat on her back, and all the air in her body left her for a
second.  She closed her eyes, not because she had hit her head again, but
because she just wanted the world to go away and leave her alone--with
everything she'd been through the past few days, she didn't feel like
getting up ever again.  She started to cry.

	"Oh, Akane!  Are you Ok?"  Akane opened her eyes and noticed that several
of her classmates, wearing nothing more than gym towels, were standing
around her in a circle of concern.  Ukyou quickly added herself to the
circle: "I'm sorry, Akane!  I didn't mean to hurt you!"

	Akane closed her eyes again.  "Just go away."

	Ukyou's voice flooded her head again: "Wouldn't you like to put something
on before you fall into total despair?"  When the words registered, Akane
winked her eyes open and stared downward (CHEF'S NOTE: Which in this case
would be south.) and wondered how long she had been running around around
naked.  _Am I really so depressed that I don't even know what I'm doing?_
She blushed at the possible embarrassing situations she might have been in.

	Ukyou handed Akane her gym clothes, which had been dutiously pilfered from
her friend's locker.  Akane snatched them rather coldly and sat up to dress.

	Ukyou waved her hand at the rest of the girls.  "Everybody please get out
now.  Akane and I have some things to talk about."  The girls didn't argue
and left for the gym.

	Akane pulled her shirt on and started to get up.  "We have nothing to talk
about!  So just go away and leave me alone before I do something I'll
regret!"  She walked toward the door.

	Ukyou lowered her head.  "He loves YOU, you know."  Akane froze in
mid-step.  "The closest I'll ever be is his friend."

	Akane jerked around.  "Then why did he DECIDE to take a bath with YOU?"
Her chest was heaving and she was quickly becoming impatient.

	Ukyou looked up into Akane's eyes with an unreadable expression.  "We did
nothing with each other but talk.  Rancha... Ranma has told me of some of
the unusual situations you and he get into, and believe me, this is one."

	Akane could see that she was being sincere and allowed herself to calm
down, but she was still standing in case she wanted to leave anyway.
"You've got five minutes."

	Ukyou sighed.  _She's even starting to sound like Ranma.  Well, it's time
for the supercondensed version of the past few days._

	(CHEF'S NOTE: WHAT!!!!  Alright Jackass!  I want a rewrite!  "The closest
thing I'll ever be is a friend?!"  I'd tell that bitch to go to hell before
I try and get em back together!) (CUTE VOICE: What wrong, Stupid Spatula
Girl?  Too many long night with cold spatula?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Why you
Chinese hussy!  Why don't you just go knock up a few strays!) (CUTE VOICE:
Aiyaa!  Tonight, why not sleep with bonbori!  Here, I help!) (OLD VOICE:
Would you please chloroform me again.) (NOTE: I might want to join you.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Wake up Mr. Hibiki!"  Rosemary looked into Ryouga's dialated eyes and for
once wondered what could be going through his head--for some reason, his
mind was difficult to read.  She didn't want to have to resort to slapping
his face because his skin was already tender with a patchwork of red
markings.  "Please, wake up!"

	Ryouga responded to the word 'please' and shook himself back to reality.
He eratically pondered his new surroundings--he was underneath a bridge, it
seemed, close to a reservoir, and he was in the shade.  He was startled
when he turned forward and noticed the cat-like face staring into his, but
he didn't make any movements to run.  "Who are you?"

	Rose jumped back in case she had frightened him while crossing her arms
over her breasts to maintain some of her dignity, even though her entire
body was covered with a coat of fur.  Ryouga instantly recalled the chase
with Ranma that led him into his paralyzing gaze with... some kind of
monster; then he remembered being carried away from the horrid scene by a
swift gust of wind that knew his name.  He asked with surprise, "Are you my
guardian spirit?"

	Rose turned away slightly and couldn't help but smile.  "Not quite."  She
glanced cautiously in his direction and stammered, "You... you're... you
don't find my form... offensive?"

	Ryouga looked at her curiously, then turned away and tried to hide his
eyes.  "Oh.  I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you, but you're the one whose
standing around with no clothes on."

	"No.  I mean... the way I look?"

	An image of her sleek body began to engrave itself into Ryouga's head.  He
started to blush and a drop of blood tricked from his nose.  "I think you
look... beautiful, actually."

	"No, silly."  Rose turned away even more and her cheeks turned a deep red
that could be plainly seen through the thin orange and blue hairs on her
face.  _No one had ever called me that except Thyme._  She tried again for
the response she wanted with a more direct question: "You don't find my
tiger-like appearance threatening?"

	Ryouga peeked through his fingers at her again, then turned away and
giggled.  "Not at all.  I've seen alot of strange things in my journeys...
not that you're strange or anything... and you seem frindly enough... I
guess you're sort of... exotic."  (CHEF'S NOTE: Does he even know what that
word means?)

	She glanced at him coyly and started to giggle with him.  _I guess he
really doesn't care what I look like, and he does look pretty cute with
those fangs.  And the tribal laws I still follow allow me more than one
mate...._

	She shook her head.  _I haven't got time for this!_  She whipped around,
disregarding her feminine modesty.  "Mr. Hibiki!  I need you!"  (CHEF'S
NOTE: Huh!) (CUTE VOICE: Told you.)  Ryouga looked at her sideways and took
a step back.

	Rose gestured shyly toward the reservoir.  "You might want to change into
your other form for this (CHEF'S NOTE: EEEEWWWWW!!!!  SIIICCKKK!!!).  It's
a little less revealing."

	Ryouga looked down at himself and immediately cringed back, trying
desperately to cover as much of himself as he could with his hands.  _Where
the hell did all my clothes go?  Did SHE take them?_  He backed up to the
tunnel wall and sat down with his legs pulled close.

	Rose sighed and shook her head.  She must not have worded her sentences
properly.  She crouched down where she was to show that she wasn't
advancing on him, hoping he wouldn't run.  "Ok, Mr. Hibiki--Ryouga.
Perhaps we should start over." (NOTE: I'm not doing that again.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	Akane listened to Ukyou's story with skepticism (Who wouldn't?).  She was
standing at the door, ready to leave, ready to get away from the betraying
okonomiyaki chef and her lies.  _That has got to be THE most FARFETCHED
excuse I have ever heard!  It sounds like something Ranma would come up with!_

	She paced about and sighed.  _But I guess HIS excuses turn out to be more
truthful than I would like to believe.  And it WOULD explain a few things.
For HIS sake, I hope Ukyou's story is true._

	Ukyou sat patiently and watched Akane move back and forth in front of the
door.  She was afraid to say anything at the moment, since it might make
Akane mad somehow, and the last few times she got mad... well, Ukyou just
didn't want to say anything.  _I know I'd have a hard time believing me if
I were her.  I just hope she's a better listener than Ranchan makes her seem._

	Akane suddenly stopped and turned to the okonomiyaki chef with her arms
folded.  "Ok, Ukyou.  Let's assume that what you said is true, and we are
in this life-threatening danger from a maniac who wants to kill us all, and
everything that's happened yesterday and the night before had something to
do with one of four spices.  How does this let Ranma off the hook?"

	Ukyou smiled dumbly and had to strain every muscle in her body to keep
from slapping her hand to her forehead. (CHEF'S NOTE: Jackass!  She's a
jackass!)  _I guess the five-minute, supercondensed version is an utter
failure!  Time for plan B!_

	Ukyou blinked, then slowly raised her eyelids as high as they would go and
forced a tear to shimmer in each eye.  Akane stared down at her with a
newfound concern and took a step forward when she noticed that her friend's
lip was quivering. (CHEF'S NOTE: The ol' Kuonji Sad Puppy Face Special.
Get's 'em every time.)  "He needs you, Akane.  Please, you've got to
believe me.  Everthing I've said is true."

	Akane hated to see people worse off than she.  There had been enough tears
shed already.  She forgot about the reasons she hated the okonomiyaki chef
and dropped to her knees in front of her.  Ukyo's vioce was somewhat shaky
and meek: "He really cares for you, and he'll be torn apart if you leave
him!  And I just want what's best for my Ranchan."  She added a convincing
sniffle at the end.

	Akane took Ukyou's hand and squeezed it gently.  "It's alright, Ukyou.
You don't have to cry."

	Ukyou pouted.  "I don't want to see Ranchan's heart get broken.  I just
want to make him happy."

	Akane hugged Ukyou and let her cry on her shoulder.  "If it will make you
feel better, I'll give Ranma one more chance.  Ok?"  Ukyou slowly nodded.
And though it went against Akane's better judgement, the author deemed it
necessary for her to forgive Ranma once again.

	After a minute of calming down, Ukyou gently pushed away.  "You should go
to him.  He's somewhere in the building."  _Get HIM to explain it, please!_
 "Just... go to him."

	Akane nodded once more, wiped a tear from her own eye, and got up to
leave.  "I'll try and forgive you, Ukyou.  I...."  She broke off and
trotted out the door.

	Ukyou sorrowfully watched her leave, then let out a gasp of air and fell
to the ground.  _Ranma's gonna owe me big-time for that one._

	Akane brushed past a few girls in the gym and exitted the main doors.  She
was just about to rush down the hall when she noticed that a boy wearing
only a towel was standing beside the right-hand door where he would be
hidden when the door opened.  He smiled pitifully.

	_Pervert!_  She was about to punch him in the nose when he cringed down to
the floor.  "And just what do you think you're doing here?"

	He stuttered and grabbed his towel so it wouldn't fall.  "I... I... Ranma
threw a bunch of the guys out of the boy's gym."  It was a poor excuse, but
enough to get him off the hook, since he knew what her next question would be.

	Akane looked puzzled.  "Why would he do a thing like that?"

	"I... I donno.  But he... well she... had another girl with her... I mean
him, and he was holding her really close."

	Akane let her arm drop.  Then she let her jaw drop.  Then she ground her
teeth together and ran down the hall.  _HE'S had his LAST chance!_

	The boy closed his eyes and wiped his brow.  _That was a close one._  He
opened his eyes and smiled up at the seven angry girls in gymclothes that
had him surrounded.  He gave a little wave.

				*	*	*	*	*

	"And your sure that Sage won't be able to do that... absorbing thingy on
you?"  Ranma stood with her back against the locker and her arms folded.

	Thyme nodded.  "Everyone in the Cult knows tricks and countermeasures to
circumvent the special abilities of Sage as well as Rosemary.  Trust me.  I
am quite immune."  He was sitting in the same spot with the towel tied
around his waist and his arms folded across his knees.

	"And you're sure you can control Ms. 'I wike you.  Wanna pway?' long
enough to put up a convincing act?"

	He nodded.  "When I'm around Sage, I'm always..."  Ranma glared at him.
"I'll try my best."

	Ranma started to walk to the sink to pour some cold water for Thyme.  He
put his hand up.  "Wait."

	Ranma made a u-turn back to the lockers without stopping.  "Now what?"

	He lowered his head, as she expected. "It's just that once we defeat
Sage... I have to escort him back and I may never see you again (CUTE
VOICE: Uh huh.  Shampoo hear that one before.).  I've always dreamed of
meeting someone like you, someone who carried the same visage as my own,
and a two-hundred-year-old dream isn't something you want to let go of
without savoring the moment.  The blue of your eye and the color of your
skin are far richer than any portrait I could see or imagine."

	Ranma groaned and let her head fall.  _Oh, man.  This is getting as bad as
dealing with Kunou or Mikado, except this guy's got a half-way decent
reason for being that way._  Ranma glanced up, almost too afraid to ask.
"What'd'ya want?"

	Thyme looked like he was about to cry.  Ranma didn't need that.  "Just let
me touch your face, to feel and remember the features I've always dreamed
of touching."

	Ranma let her arms sag as she walked over to him.  She pointed a finger at
him.  "Ok.  But only the face!  Then I want you to get in that shower so we
can finally get down to business!"  Thyme nodded. (OLD VOICE: That's my boy!)

	Ranma held her hands behind her back as she leaned down to his level.
Thyme brought up a few fingers and started slowly tracing the contours of
the face, sketching them to memory, hesitantly at first, but then with
ease.  Ranma felt nothing but innocence from him.  She could see in his
eyes the joy he felt, not for touching her, but for finally getting to feel
his own features.  She allowed herself to smile.  She could feel in his
slow and feather-like glides the time and care he'd taken in his quest for
his identity.  It was nice the way he massaged her face and she wished
Akane would learn to do that--she could put up with that if it felt this
nice.  She could see Akane crying in the doorway with her hands clamped
over her mouth.  Akane?

	Ranma and Thyme quickly turned their heads toward the door.  Akane's face
was streaked with tears, but she hardly made a sound.  When she did speak,
her voice was shrill and choked: "Shower...?  Say it isn't so, Ranma.
Please, say it isn't so!"

	Ranma smiled and said, "It isn't so."

	All Akane could do was shake her head and cry.  After a few seconds of
nothing being said, Akane turned and ran down the hall.

	Ranma and Thyme looked at each other, then down at Ranma's still
half-unbuttoned shirt.  Ranma slapped Thyme hard on the shoulder and pushed
back.  "Now see what you made me do!?!"  Ranma started to walk for the back
wall--there was no use in following Akane now.

	As Thyme tried to say something, the overinflated head of Soun Tendo raced
in the room: "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, RANMA!  HOW DARE YOU STRING MY
POOR AKANE ALONG WHILE YOU INDULGE IN YOUR OWN SICK FANTASIES!  DO YOU
REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THIS FAMILY?  WELL, COME NOW, BOY, AND EXPLAIN
YOURSELF!"

	Thyme cringed back to the edge of the bench, almost falling off, while
Ranma was almost knocked into the wall by the sound waves.  Thyme refused
to take an eye off of the demonic head and peeped, "Does he do that often?"

	Ranma let herself fall to her knees.  "Only when I do something really bad
to one of his daughters."

	"Whatever it is, I hope you don't do it often."

	Ranma looked over Mr. Tendo's shoulder and saw a giant panda in the
doorway {{I'm very disappointed in you, son!}}

	Ranma shut her eyes tight and vented all her frustation into one groan.
The next thing anyone knew, Ranma was clasping onto the smelly gymshirt
Soun "borrowed" from the laundry room and yelling to his face, "JUST WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA OF YOU AND POP COMING HERE ANYWAY!  IF YOU'RE HERE, THAT MEANS
NABIKI'S ALONE AND UNGUARDED AT THE HOUSE!?!?!"

	Mr. Panda turned his sign around.  (The word writen there is inappropriate
to mention in an anime-based fanfic, or a manga-based one for that matter.)
				*	*	*	*	*

	After Kunou found a suitable kimono to replace his now-lost samurai robe
and grabbed a new bokken from his collection, he left for the Tendo home.
Nabiki was not at school and Kunou was worried that her injuries from last
night were more extensive than he thought.  He also wanted to see how Akane
fared; he'd heard rumors going about that that cretin Saotome was dumping
Akane for Ms. Kuonji.

	Kunou closed his eyes and shook his head.  (CHEF'S NOTE: Do we really have
to do this?) (NOTE: *sigh* I'm afraid so.  Don't worry.  I'll try to get
his soliloquy over as soon as possible.) _All wonderous creations on this
kind Earth must eventually surcome to the darkness of night or the steady
chill of autumn--the delicate rose, the gentle lotus, the rare orchid
(CHEF'S NOTE: the careful pigfarmer, the sleek Concord jet, the dainty
bonzai tree....)--yet it falls to us the choice to save those wonders from
such plights and tend to them in our own warm havens, else consider
ourselves the plights. (CUTE VOICE: You get that?)

	_I had tried to warn fair Akane about Ranma Saotome's treacherous ways and
I had even tried to exorcise the demon that held both her and the
pig-tailed girl enthralled, but it was not enough.  I have failed them
both, but perhaps all is not lost.  I will not allow this insult to go
unpunished.  I shall have to take Akane--and Nabiki as well--under my
protection until Ranma can be made to pay for his crimes._

	He sighed.  _I am almost sorry I challeged Nabiki earlier this week to our
little duel of wits.  She so calmly claimed, 'Never in a dozen lifetimes
could you get the better of me, Kunou.  You couldn't even pull one over on
me if you had me to help you.'  And I said, 'The oldest games the mortals
play without wood or steel or stone and thou boasts in it to be a Muse?
'Tis this a challenge I hear?'  She had to taut me with, "Hmm.  Yeah.
Sure.  I can use the extra yen.  Let's say, five thousand."  And I so
boldly stated, 'I accept.'  I should not have diverted my time with such a
petty affair. (ALL TOGETHER NOW: ....)

	_I desperately resorted to keeping myself in my secret chambers away from
the mansion, ordering takeout and spying on Nabiki with the assistance of
Sasuke.  How much I missed dear sister's cooking (NOTE: Ah uh.  In case you
haven't pieced it together by now, it was after he stopped eating Kodachi's
cooking that he became the impressive and heroic Kuno of Chapter 3.  He
went back to eat leftovers in chapter 4.)  Sasuke did an excellent job and
I almost had her.

	_All the while, I let down my watchful eye, and that cretin Ranma Saotome
was allowed the opportunity to strike unbound.  I feel so ashamed. But I
will amend!_  (CUTE VOICE: 'As soon as possible' he says.  Hmph.)

	Kunou was now only a block away from his destination.  He turned the
corner and headed for the dojo, suddenly pausing when he saw Kasumi
staggering like a drunk through the gate.

	Kunou ran down the street to offer his assistance if it was needed--and it
looked like it was.  He reached the gate entrance in time to see someone
enter the house, but it appeared that that someone was wearing a long,
brown robe instead of a blue dress.  The door shut and Kunou proceeded
cautiously up the walkway.

	Upon reaching the door, he raised his hand to knock, but then thought
against it.  Something felt wrong about the situation.  He gripped the
handle of his bokken tightly and slowly pulled back the door.

	Nobody was in the livingroom and the whole house was quiet.  _I am
positive someone entered, and she... or he couldn't have ecsaped that
quickly._  Kunou entered the home, not liking the idea of being on
someone's private property without being invited (NOTE: Like a vampire.),
but this was important. (CUTE VOICE: That he vampire?)

	He sidestepped around the couch, but could see no one and nothing out of
the ordinary.  He headed toward the stairs to see if Kasumi was in her
room, but stopped when he heard a faint... something.

	He turned around.  _May the gods of fate and divination be my guide._  He
ran toward the couch and swiped at a futon that wasn't there before.  The
tip of his sword ripped the fabric off the top and a coughing, brown-haired
girl rolled out.

	Kunou pointed his sword at her.  "What do you think you are doing here?"

	Tsubasa pushed herself onto her elbows and growled.  "I'm not in the mood
for this!"  She spang up, knocked Kunou's bokken to the side, and latched
onto his face like a hatchling in the movie "Alien".

	Kunou flailed his arms and tried to knock her off with his bokken, but
before he could put any major force into his blows, Sage's red aura
engulfed them both.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Mikado Sanzenin walked around the corner toward the front entrance of the
Tendo home.  His pace was noteably hastened--though no one was on the
street to note it.  He was worried because nobody at Kolkhoz had any idea
where Azusa was, and he was uncommonly worried; she hung around him like a
shadow for so long that he expected her to be lurking about him.  He hated
to admit it, but Ranma may have been the only person left to ask--Mikado
had to know if he had found anything yet.  Also, he'd just heard a rumor
that Akane had been badly injured in a fight (NOTE: *sigh* Rumors these
days.), and he felt it was his chivalric duty to offer his services where
needed.

	Mikado reached the gate at an undignified run and !WHAM!  He was knocked a
few yards out into the street.  He put his hands to his head to steady it
and he could feel the stinging scrapes left on his shoulder and palms where
he tried to stop his sudden alteration in course.  He looked back to the
gate and saw a dark-haired young man in a rose petal kimoni lying on the
lawn, and he seemed to be doing no better than he himself was.

	Kunou unsteadily pushed himself up on one elbow while he tried to stop the
ringing in his ears.  He stared outside the gate and saw a tall man in a
blue tuxedo and slacks walking in his direction.  They must have collided
when he ran out the gate.  "Why don't you watch where you're going next time!"

	Mikado didn't want to protest since he had been running and felt partially
at fault.  "I apologize for my untimely entrance, and I hope that my
recklessness has not caused you any serious harm."  He reached out a hand
to help him to standing.

	Kunou slapped the hand away and proceeded to crawl to his feet.  Mikado
looked stunned that his help was rejected.  Kunou got his balance and
tapped the end of his bokken on the other's chest.  "Don't you ever get in
my way again or I'll make you eat those fancy clothes of yours!"

	Mikado rolled his eyes.  In the next split-second, in a dazzling
ballet-like spin that he commonly used on the rink against opponents with
non-edged weapons, he slapped the tip of the sword outward with his left
hand and then caught it in his right when it rebounded; he whipped the
sword and handler around him in the completion of the spin and let go.
Kunou went flying over the roof toward the fishpond on the side of the
house.  Mikado shook his head.  _Sometimes I think that I'm the only
citizen of this fair city with any manners at all._  He pranced to the side
of the house.

	Mikado stopped by the pond, but the rude swordsman was nowhere in sight.
He turned toward the house and caught a glimpse of Kuno jumping from the
roof with sword raised high.  Mikado glided sideways with a forth of a
second to spare just as Kunou's bokken hit and shattered a stone by the pond.

	Before the cobble shards could hit the ground, Kunou raked his sword to
the side and tried to throw them at Mikado, but he was already safely
behind his opponent.  Kunou swung around with his sword, but Mikado caught
it and it's owner's arm with ease and, with another quick pirouette, sent
his attacker sailing to the ground on the other end of the pond.

	Mikado dusted himself off while Kunou rolled to his feet.  Kunou roared
and Mikado just crossed his arms.  Kunou roared again, raised his sword
over his head, and a bolt of lightning shot down from the cloudless sky
into the tip of his bokken.  Mikado looked a little worried and stepped back.

	Kunou/Sage glanced up in confusion, then stared forward and started
smiling.  _Now this is an unexpected bonus!  I hadn't recognized it when I
first absorbed this body, but it would appear that this boy has a few
undeveloped talents!_

	Kunou gripped his bokken with both hands and summoned a few more bolts
into himself.  He could feel the hum of the electrical energy flow
throughout his body like a generator.  He pointed the sword at Mikado and
fired.

	The martial arts figure skater swiftly rolled out of the way with a singed
shoulder and threw a fist-sized rock at Kunou.  The stone hit the other's
hand just as he was about to launch another energy blast, and he was forced
to drop his sword.

	Mikado launched himself over the pond toward Kunou just as he shot another
ill-timed bolt out of the palm of his hand.  Mikado easily avoided the
blast and landed a kick on his opponent's jaw.  Kunou whirled to the ground.

	Mikado stood over the fallen swordsman.  "Who are you and why do you
attack me?!"

	Something about the voice forced Sage to change his form.  Azusa turned
her head and stared upward in recognition.  "Mickey?"

	Mikado was shocked.  "What manner of trickery is this?!"

	She sat up and spread her arms and pleaded, "Help Azusa, Mickey!"

	Mikado jumped back.  "What's happened to you?!"

	Sage regained control and Azusa's bright face became an evil grin.  "Come
join Azusa, Mickey!"  She launched herself at the distracted Mikado and
latched onto his waist.  Mikado tried desperately to throw her off, but he
couldn't loosen her grip--he never could.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Soun, Mr. Panda, and two identical redheaded girls threw wide the doors to
the schoolbuilding and raced down the walkway.

	"What were you thinking, Pop!" yell one of the girls.

	The panda raised a sign {{This is your fault too!}}

	"My fault?!"

	Suddenly, they all stopped, stunned, when a bolt of lightning pierced the
calm sky with a subsequent crack of thunder.  The other redhead glanced at
Soun.  "Oooooh.  That your house.  Not good."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Somehow Ukyou knew something like this would happen.  As she was picking
out a good, solid softball bat for her temporary weapon, she saw a crying
Akane run through the gym.  _That boy just can't keep out of trouble._
Ukyou ran out of the locker room to follow her.

	Akane ran out the gym's fire exit, which led to Furinkan's playing fields.
 Ukyou followed, shouting, "Akane, wait!"  Akane paid no attention.

	Both froze in their tracks when they heard a thunderclap and saw a streak
of lightning.

	Ukyou yelled, "That landed by your house!"

	Akane got a horrible expression on her face.  "Oh no!  Nabiki!"  (NOTE:
Not that she believes for a second that Nabiki can summon lightning.)

				*	*	*	*	*

	Shampoo and Mousse were sweeping the floor of the customerless Neko
Hantan; Shampoo scowled at Mousse now and then.  Cologne balanced on her
staff in front of the front door, staring out, waiting.

	Shampoo stopped what she was doing and walked over by the door.  "What
wrong, Great-grandmother?"

	At that instant, lightning and thunder struck somewhere across town.
Cologne wasn't surprised; Shampoo stared with that lost look she usually
got; Mousse adjusted his glasses--like it would help.

	Cologne pushed the door open.  "Come on, Kitten.  I think we will be
needed."  Shampoo nodded dumbly and followed--and, of course, by default,
so did Mousse.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Mikado ran out the front gate and into the street, looking back to make
doubly-sure that no one was suddenly burst out of the house and chase him.
!WHAM!  He fell back and noticed that he just ran into a giant panda.  He
sprang into a series of backflips that brought him to the wall beside the
gate.  "Can't a guy at least leave his house in piece?"  _No wait, this is
Kasumi's house, not mine._

	Mikado/Sage looked around to see (of course) Mr. Panda standing a good
distance in front of him in a funny-looking battle stance with Kasumi's
father staring, confused, by his side.  A pig-tailed girl wearing Chinese
clothes circled to his left while her twin, wearing shorts and a 'Bite Me'
shirt circled to his right.  In addition to that, he could see two figures
running up the street behind the panda.  Sage was trapped.  It looked to
him like his situation was going to get very messy.

	Soun looked confused.  "Isn't that Mikado Sanzenin?"

	Without diverting her attention, the girl wearing the 'Bite Me!' shirt
cracked her knuckles and growled, "That AIN'T Mikado."

	The opposite girl beamed coolly, "Now we awl pway together."

	Sage dicided that if it was a fight they wanted, then he would make this
the final showdown.  He kicked off the wall and ran into the center of the
crude circle his opponents formed, making it seem like he was challenging
the panda.

	Mr. Panda held his ground, and both girls lept at him simultaneously.
Mikado, quickly changing his plan, stopped and broke into a wild spin.
When the two attackers hit the human whirlwind, the Chinese-dressed girl
was instantly thrown to the wall while the 'Bite Me!' girl was sent
pommeling into the panda.  Mikado started to retreat to his left, but
stopped when he saw three new figures coming down the street from that
direction.

	Ukyou was circling around and closing the gap on the other side.  Akane
was standing beside the panda, but she was too mesmerized by the battle to
do anything productive.

	The girl that just hit the wall stood up, undamaged.  "That no fair!  You
pway nice or not at all!"

	Mikado glanced in her direction and shouted, "You're not going to get me
with circus tricks like that, Thyme!"

	The pig-tailed girl by Akane got up and rushed toward her enemy with
finger outstretched, aiming for a pressure point on Mikado/Sage's back.
Like a reflex, Akane called out, "Ranma, be careful!"

	Mikado was alerted by Akane of someone approaching.  He spun around and
caught the attacking girl with a quick leg sweep with his right leg, then a
kick to the stomach with the left.  The girl painfully bounced in the air,
and Sage let loose a short surge of electricity from his hand, which caught
his victim in the shoulder right above the left breast.  She was sent
tumbling through the air, and she landed in a heap in front of Akane.
Akane looked down and screamed, "Ranma!"

	Ukyou bit her lower lip and stepped back, but kept her softball bat ready.
 The other pig-tailed girl moaned in frustration and fear, wondering where
Sage picked up the new energy weapon.  _Well, that screws up our plans!
Gotta think of something else!_  She held out her hand to stop Ukyou from
advancing.

	The remaining redhead shouted, "HAIYA!" to devert Mikado's attention away
from Akane, then lept high into the air toward her foe.  Mikado spun around
and shot off two lightning bolts, both of which missed by inches, before
feeling a small foot crash into his chest.  Mikado fell down and rolled out
of the way just as a fist hit the concrete.

	He rolled to standing, executing another leg sweep, but the girl jumped
over his head and landed on the other side.  She began a furious chestnut
fist, which Mikado managed to counter with the same technique.  However,
Mikado was a little late in execution and his position on the ground made
the move awkward, and about fifty good punches landed on his chest and
arms.  He fell to the ground in a heap.

	The pig-tailed girl jumped in the air joyfully.  "Hahaha.  I win."

	Suddenly, a pair of chains shot out of nowhere (metaphorically) and
wrapped tightly around her arms, pinning them to her side.  She turned
around to see a dark-robed figure jump down from the wall surrounding the
house.  "You a naughty girl, Thyme!"

	Ukyou was closest and started to move, but Parsley heaved the chains in
her direction and sent the redhead at the end crashing into her.  The
chains loosened as a purple and white bonbori smacked Parsley in the side
of the head.

	"No hurt Girl-type Ranma!"  Shampoo almost landed on Parsley's head with
her other bonbori, but he rolled and threw an extra cloak in her direction
to distract her (Hey!  It was a split-second decision!  Get off my back!).

	Mousse started running to the Amazon's side.  "I'll help you, My Love!"

	"No need your stupid help!"  Shampoo glanced briefly in Mousse's direction
and caught a glimpse of Akane kneeling over an injured redheaded,
pig-tailed girl, trying to wake her up.  "Huh?"  Parsley took advantage of
the distraction and whipped his chains around her, coiling her into a
steel-link cocoon up to her neck.  "Eep!" she cried.

	Mousse hurled a dozen knives in Parsley's direction, which Parsley
deflected with a small wooden shield that sprang into his hand, but half of
them were aimed at the chains, and several links were shattered.  Shampoo
rolled around and tried to loosen her bonds.

	Mr. Panda rushed at the injured Mikado/Sage thing on the ground with a
wooden sign raised over his head.  Mikado quickly flipped himself onto his
back and shouted, "Bakusai Tenketsu!" just as the sign flew in his
direction.  Mikado drove the toe of his foot through the sign's center and
it exploded in a shower of splinters, most of which backlashed at the panda
and threw him back.  Luckily, almost most the splinters were lost inside
his fur and those that did hit did minor damage.

	The pig-tailed girl helped Ukyou to her feet, then sprang at Mikado.
Mikado saw her coming and shouted ,"Happo Dai Karin!"  A bomb exploded
somewhere between Ukyou and his intended target, sending the okonomiyaki
chef careening to the side, but pushing the pig-tailed girl even faster.
She latched onto his chest and reached around his back to find a certain
pressure point.

	The impact of the pig-tailed girl caused Sage to lose his concentration,
and he reverted back to a half-lion in dark robe.  The pig-tailed girl took
a look at his face and screamed.  Her arms went limp and Sage brushed her
to the ground.

	"Waitaminute!  You're not Thyme!"  He'd recently sifted through Kasumi's
memories and found out that Ranma was afraid of cats.  He groaned because
he had missed a chance to absorb Ranma.

	Sage started to reach down to give himself another chance, but a small
black object shot from nowhere and latched onto Sage's face.  "Bweeeiii!!!
Bweeiii!!!"

	"Aaarrr!  Get it off me!"

	Akane looked up from her patient and saw a robed figure flailing his arms
while a little, black pig clung to its cowl.  "P-chan?  P-chan!  What are
you doing?"

	A bright red light surrounded P-chan and Sage, and when it dimmed, only
Sage was left.  Sage staggered around and clawed at his face like a madman.
 "NOOOOO!!!  HIS MIND IS TO UNSTABLE!  THE ANGUISH!"

	Akane stared in horror and confusion as a blue-and-orange striped woman
ran behind the robed maniac, splashed him with a bucket of water, then
kicked him into the air.  The man quickly turned into P-chan.  Ranma, still
on the ground, swung her legs upward and swatted the pig toward Ukyou, who
quickly batted him back in Ranma's direction.  _Ranma?!?!_  Akane looked
down at the redhead she was holding in her lap.

	Shampoo watched, without very much luck with her chains, as Mousse
deflected Parsley's shurikens with two huge blades that protruded from his
forearms.  _Mousse really fight that well?_

	Parsley, deciding that projectiles were getting him nowhere, shot another
pair of long chains in his opponent's direction.  Mousse tried to cut them
with his blades, but they were only ripped from his sleeves.  He danced
around the chains and threw a long rope at Parsley from one sleeve; it
entangled the chains in the middle and made them hard to control.  Finally,
Mousse yelled, "Fist of the White Swan!" and heaved a duck-shaped training
potty into Parsley's skull; Parsley went rigid and fell to the ground.

	Ranma rolled out of the way as P-chan peeled himself off the ground and
shook his head.  Ranma and Ukyou took a step forward when P-chan jumped
into a cute little piggy battle stance.  They backed up as thunder boomed
and lightning bolts started hammering into the little pig and a cloud of
dust rose around him.  "Bweeii!  Bweeiii!"

	The smoke cleared and in P-chan's place stood Tatewaki Kuno about
knee-high in a large hole in the cement.  His eyes glowed red and yellow
with electricity.  He jumped out of the hole and raised his arms to the
sky.  "Fools!  You cannot even hope to defeat me!  The gods themselves have
risen me to their ranks and given me the power to destroy my mortal foes as
I see fit!  I possess power I have never even dreamed of!"  A bolt of
lighting shot into his hand.  "I CAN PREPARE SUKIYAKI SEVENTEEN DIFFERENT
WAYS!  HAHAHA!"  _No, wait.  What am I saying?_  "EIGHTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS!"
Everybody watching blinked in confusion.  (CUTE VOICE: Hn?  Can I leave
now?) (NOTE: No.)

	"I will break you, Ranma Saotome!  I will destroy everything you know!
And I think I'll start..."  He turned around and pointed his hand toward
Akane.  She got up and started to run.

	Ranma threw herself at Kunou/Sage.  "NO!"  Kunou spun around and caught
Ranma in mid-air.  With another spin, he had Ranma's arms pinned to her
side with amazing strength (Ryouga's).

	Akane started to run to Ranma's aid, as did Ukyou and Mr. Panda, but Kunou
yelled, "Nobody move or Ranma dies!"  Everybody obeyed.  He whispered into
Ranma's ear.  "Ready?  All together now.  And with feeling.  Hehehe."
Ranma struggled as hard as she could.

	Ranma tried to fight the red aura that engulfed her, using every ounce of
her will to oppose Sage's mind, but the collective wills of all the people
he'd already absorbed were too much.  An unpleasant cold sting slowly
swallowed her limbs until she was no more.  Sage altered his appearance
from Kunou to Ranma's male form.

	None of his friends were sure what to do now.  It all seemed hopeless.
Ukyou almost dropped her bat as her whole body went numb.  Soun hid behind
the dumbfounded mass of Mr. Panda.  Mousse had loosened Shampoo's chains,
and she sat with a worried expression on her face.  Mousse adjusted his
glasses, not sure what to think since this was his only major role in the
story.  Cologne watched in casual contemplation, well aware that everything
would turn out for the best.

	Ranma crouched menacingly on the pavement in front of Akane, who was
already trembling nervously.  He growled a few times and Akane was frozen
with fear.  "YOU!  Some fiancee you are.  You always treat Ranma soooo
badly.  You never give him the respect he deserves.  You never listen to
him  and you always fight with him!"  Akane's eyes opened to their fullest
and her lip started to quiver.

	Soun peeked around Mr. Panda's side.  "He isn't going to do what I think
he's going to do."  The panda just grunted.

	Akane tried to break into a run, but her limbs were completely paralyzed
with fear.  Ranma's eyes sparkled slightly.  "You don't know how long he's
waited to do this!"  A medium-sized scimitar materialized in his hand.

	Soun covered his eyes with both hands.  "I can't bare to watch!"

	Ranma lunged at Akane with the sword in hand, but instead of burying the
blade in her chest, he threw it over her shoulder.  Akane collapsed and
Ranma followed her down.  He caught the back of her head in his hands and
threw his mouth onto her lips and kissed her deeply.

	Everyone stared in shock.

	After several seconds, Ranma started glowing red and he pushed back from
Akane.  Ranma, still in male form, rolled to one side while Sage, in cat
form, rolled the other way; both were dazed considerably.

	Akane brought her fingers up to her tingling lips.  _Ranma?_

	Sage pounded his fist to the ground.  _WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!_ (NOTE:
Anyone should know by now that Ranma would rather kiss Akane than hurt
her.)  Showing an extraordinary amount of endurance, he sprang to his feet
and roared.  _Enough is enough!_  He tightened his right hand into a ball.

	Akane could read what he was about to do and threw herself in the way just
as Sage unleashed a massive bolt of energy.  The bolt nailed Akane in her
side, and she was sent flying over Ranma.

	Ranma pushed himself up on his elbows with exhaustion and stared at the
body that just landed beside him.  She was lying on her stomach and a thin
stream of smoke was coming from her side.  When he realized it was Akane,
he scrambled to her and turned her over.  Her eyes were shut tight in agony
and there was a major wound by her ribs.  A tear fell from Ranma's cheek
and landed on hers.

	Everyone was still frozen in fear--but more a fear of Ranma than a fear of
Sage.

	Sage stood several yards away with his arms crossed.  "What's wrong, boy?
Did I do something wrong?"

	Ranma stood up without a word and clenched his fists.  He turned around
slowly, still without a word.  Sage just smiled and chuckled.  Then
something very significant just occured to him: Ranma was staring straight
at him--AND HE STILL LOOKED LIKE A CAT! (NOTE: You do not ever--I mean
ever--want to find yourself in Sage's position!  The entire U.S. Army
wouldn't want to find themselves in Sage's position!)

	Sage took a step back as Ranma started growling and hissing.  Ranma
crouched on all fours and a bright blue aura flared up around him.  Sage
took another step back.  Ranma started growing--BIGGER!  Sage, with all his
powers and abilities, couldn't take another step.  Soon, Ranma was looming
high above his prey.

				*	*	*	*	*

	No one could be sure what happened in that scant twenty seconds of the
showdown between Ranma and Sage.  Everyone that was still conscious had run
for cover as soon as Ranma started hissing--even Cologne felt the
undeniable urge to vacate the premisis.  Nor could anyone be sure what
Ranma had done to do what he did.  All that was known was that when the
screaming stopped and everybody returned, bodies were littering the
street--all of them uninjured and sleeping--and Ranma was curled up on
Akane's lap, also asleep.  Akane bore a wide grin and Ranma purred like a
kitten.  There WAS a hole in Akane's shirt where she was struck by
lightning, but there was absolutely no wound or scar at all.

	Rosemary was kneeling over Thyme with her hand on the redhead's chest.
Her arm glowed a soft white, and Thyme rolled to her feet, as good as new.

	No one said anything to anybody.  They just watched as Rose hefted Parsley
into her arms while Thyme slung Sage over her shoulder, and the two just
started walking down the street.

	Thyme turned her head to Rose.  "Will they wemember when they wake up?"

	"Not likely.  And perhaps it's for the best."

	Thyme reached into one of Parsley's sleeves and pulled out a yellow
kimono.  "You naked.  You want wear something?"

	Rose accepted it.  "Thank you."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ukyou leaned up against the wall as Soun and Mr. Panda started taking
everyone inside--everyone except for Ranma and Akane, who seemed peaceful
enough where they were.  Ukyou stared at the clear sky with Mousse's
duck-shaped potty in her hand--which he weilded like a master.  She shifted
her gaze to Ranma and Akane.

	She wiped a stray tear from her cheek.  _Even through the strangeness of
these past few days, with Sage trying to kill everyone and Rosemary
screwing with our emotions.  No matter what, Ranma never gave up on her.  I
saw his face when he held Akane in his arms--I saw the tear._

	She closed her eyes.  _Why do I still try to claim him as MY fiancee? He
tried so hard to keep HER.  Could Ranchan ever do the same for me?_

	She looked back at the sky and heard a voice tell her "Yes."  It was Rose.
 Ukyou smiled.

                            -===============-
                             |   THE END   |
                            -===============-


	Well I *sniffle* did have... a song and load of credits to place at the
end... but we're running... way into overtime here, so I'll just leave you
with this (NOTE: No.  I'm not crying.  No, really.):

[On a black screen, Ukyou jumps in the air with her knees together as she
laughs, her hands gently covering her mouth.  When she lands, she waves
with her right hand and giggles, "Ooki ni!"]