I suspect that this idea isn't a new one, but it's another dream 
that I had, so I gotta get it written out before I forget, even if 
it isn't all that good or original.  Bear with me... you might enjoy 
it anyway.

Eye of the Storm
a Ranma1/2 fanfiction
by Ukyou Kuonji

P-chan sleepily opened his eyes on this Sunday morning.  Akane was 
already up, apparently.  He could hear her rifling furiously though 
her dresser.  And she was mad, too... he could feel the chill of her 
blue aura even from her bed.

Suddenly she stopped her rummaging.  He could see her holding 
aloft a cassette tape.  She took a couple of deep breaths, as she 
continued to build up her aura.  Finally, she stalked out of her 
room with a snarl of "Ran-MA!"

She nearly brushed by P-chan on her way out.  The sight of her long, 
bare legs caused him to bring a hoof to his snout, just in case.  As 
she slammed her bedroom door, he made a mental note to pound Ranma 
for whatever he might have done to make Akane so upset this time.

***

If there was one thing worse than waking up in a strange house, 
Michiko thought as Akane's snarl jarred her to consciousness, it 
was the realization that it *still* wasn't a boyfriend's room, and 
that she'd spent the night before... studying.  Blinking owlishly, 
Michiko noted with no small wonder that Nabiki was already up and 
working on her computer.

"Hmph.  Never thought of *you* as a morning person, Nabiki-chan," 
she mumbled.

Nabiki shoved her chair away from the desk, and swiveled to face 
her friend.  She was still wearing her pyjamas and a robe, and her 
face looked about as sleepy as Michiko felt.  "How was that again?"

In spite of her lethargy, Michiko grinned.  "Never mind."

"Hey, look.. I don't like getting up like this any more than anybody 
else.  But I'm telling you, it's either work now -- while there's 
peace -- or try to think with Ranma and Akane constantly fighting 
downstairs.  It can't be done; those two are so loud, you couldn't 
concentrate if you tried."

Just at that moment, they heard the thumping noise of Akane's 
footsteps as she headed for Ranma's room.  Michiko stood up and 
opened the bedroom door to peer out after the younger girl's 
retreating form.  She turned back inside to address Nabiki: 
"Hey, well... if there's gonna be a fight, shouldn't you be 
taking bets?"

"On a Ranma-Akane duel?  Get real."

***

The door to Happosai's room was open; he was awake, snuggling 
against his haul from the previous night.  He looked up to see 
Akane storming by... and wearing a *very* short skirt, too, in 
his opinion.

"Now that's daring of her... and here I thought I'd stolen all 
her panties already.  Amazing, that she's got the nerve to wear 
something like that little thing after that.  I've got to go have 
a look-see..."  and he bounded out of his room after her.

"Akane-chan!  Aren't you the loveliest little -- urk!"  He never 
got to finish, because Akane spun around to face him, and smashed 
him in the mouth.  For the coup de grace, she booted him, soccer-
style, back down the hallway.

***

Michiko watched as the old lech flew past Nabiki's room.  "Wasn't 
that the guy who's always..?"

"Copping feels and stealing underwear?  Yup.  He's daddy's sensei, 
believe it or not.  So you'd better believe he's a damn good 
martial artist.  You'll notice that that was Akane's handiwork. 
Now d'ya see why I don't take wagers on these fights?  It's a 
sucker's bet."

Michiko made a mental note of it... if she could find a sucker to 
bet on Ranma, maybe she could out-Nabiki Nabiki someday.  "Yeah, 
well... Ranma can take the old guy, too, can't he?"

"Sometimes..."

***

Akane's blue aura was starting to leave a trail of smoke behind her 
as she fumed past the kitchen.  Kasumi smelled the strange aroma, 
and checked her miso soup to make sure nothing was wrong.  Then she 
noticed the vapor trails Akane had left behind.

"Oh, my."  Akane must be awfully steamed up to emit this much aura. 
She pulled a cookbook down from the pantry.  It would take something 
extra-special to bring her out of this mood; and while food wasn't 
necessarily guaranteed to do so, it was what Kasumi could do for her 
little sister.  She began flipping through the book, looking for some 
of Akane's favorite recipes 

***

Whether panda or human, Genma Saotome slept the kind of sleep that 
even the dead would envy. So it came as no surprise that when Akane 
shunted open the door to the guest room, while Ranma's eyes snapped 
open at the door's first movement, his father continued sawing logs.

But he *would* be woken up.  Akane would see to that.  She lifted 
the panda's futon perpendicular to the floor and rolled him off.  
Then, with some effort, she hoisted him over her head and stalked 
back out of the guest room.

Ordinarily, being carried on another person's shoulders is a great 
honor.  Indeed, perhaps Genma had just been dreaming of being 
carried off in triumph from a martial-arts victory.  But the chill 
of Akane's aura was more than enough to assure him that this was no 
honor she was about to give him.  He produced a sign in protest: 
[Hey...]

He turned it around: [Hey!]

And a third spin, this time waving it frantically as Akane approached 
the koi pond: [HEY!!]

SPLASH!!  Without a word, Akane spun on her heel after depositing 
Genma-panda in the pond and headed back toward the guest room... 
and Ranma.

Despite the fact that no one was paying attention to him, Genma-panda 
held up another sign.  [Ye gods, what's the matter with her today?]

***

She closed the door to the guest room behind her with a slam.  In 
fact, the door nearly fell out of its track from the force.  This 
was the first thing to throw her off stride all morning, as she 
turned around to check that the door was closed securely.  But while 
her body had been momentarily thrown off, her mouth made up for the 
hesitation.

"Ranma... *what* is the meaning of this?!"  It was a growl loud 
enough to be heard throughout the house.

"Whaddya talkin' about, Akane?  *You're* the one who comes barging 
in --"  Ranma cut himself off when he saw her brandish the cassette. 
He knew what it meant...

"I've had the dojo bugged for several weeks now.  It makes for... 
interesting listening..."

Ranma's eyes went wide.  <Oh, boy...>

***

In the room that had belonged to both him and his wife, Soun Tendo 
knelt before her shrine.  He wept as he could hear the sounds of 
mayhem and destruction coming from the guest room.

"Kimiko, my darling... what can I do?  I've tried so hard to raise 
them well, but Akane!  She and Ranma won't ever stop fighting!  I'm 
at my wit's end!"  Rivers of tears flowed from his eyes as he poured 
out his anguish to his long departed wife.  Her picture merely 
smiled enigmatically down upon him, as if she might know something 
that he wasn't aware of.

***

"So you're saying... Ranma won't even defend himself?"

"Nope.  Something to do with not hitting girls, he says."

"No kidding?  Wow."  The sounds of mayhem continued, and Michiko 
marvelled at the amount of punishment Ranma must be taking.  At the 
same time, she couldn't resist needling her friend.  "So *that's* 
how come you get away with doin' all that stuff to him, and you 
don't need to fear for your life."  She smirked as Nabiki glared 
at her in mock anger.

All at once, they heard Akane's full-throated cry: "RAN-MAAAA!!" 
followed by a particularly long, loud and resounding crash.  Then, 
all was still.

The tone of Akane's voice perplexed Michiko.  "Uh... Nabiki... you 
*sure* she's all right?  That was a strange sound, for a battle cry."

Nabiki looked half-disgusted with her friend.  "Look, if you wanna 
bet on Ranma after hearing all that, go ahead.  I guess I'll be 
happy to take your money.  But seriously... it'd be a waste.  Akane 
always, always comes out on top."

***

Exhausted, Akane placed her hands on the futon on either side of 
Ranma's head.  She remained there, still straddling him, as she 
caught her breath.

Ranma grinned as he looked up at her.  "That was some workout, 
eh, Akane?   Guess the stereo system works pretty well."

Akane nodded.  Then her countenance darkened slightly.  "Could you 
try to look a little more dazed, Ranma?  That recording's supposed 
to sound like we're fighting, and you *know* you're supposed to 
lose to me..."

"Believe me, I'm as dazed as I come."

"Pun intended, hm?"

Ranma merely smiled, and lifted his hands to her face.  He brought 
it down to meet his, and kissed her deeply.  "I love you... you 
kawaikune tomboy."

Akane smirked.  "And I love you, too, you bakayaro hentai."  As 
she spoke, she lifted herself off of him ever so slightly, only to 
drop back down onto him with the word 'hentai,' as if for emphasis. 
Ranma winced as she thrust herself back onto his spent manhood. 
"There.  That oughta make you look a little more beaten up, ne?"

*****
*****

*sigh*  Well, that's done... why is it, every time I have a dream 
about Ran-chan making love to someone, he's with Akane-chan, and 
not me?

This isn't a follow-up to Subterraneo, I should point out -- in 
fact, I took great pains to make sure it wasn't a lemon (to mark 
it as such would destroy the surprise, now, wouldn't it?)  It's 
more like another elaboration of the "Baka" and "Tomboy" roles 
from Bob Barnes' "The Masks We Must Wear" (can ya tell I really 
liked that story?  Naahhh..)  How about it, though, Bob?  I figured 
out a way for them to sneak around behind everyone else's back.  
After all, who's gonna deliberately walk in on them when they're 
(supposedly) fighting like that, ne?

Comments are, as always, invited, nay, begged for.  As always, the 
address is:

ukyoukwnji@aol.com

Until next time, ja!

Itsu mo,
Ucchan   ^_^