Hello!
   I'm trying to break a little bit of writer's block on my Ranma/Robotech
crossover and my Shoki Saga story.  I thought maybe something mindlessly
fun would help.  Not sure yet, but I enjoyed trying!  Ten thousand pardons
if anyone has used the title before!

*********
Big Bad John

	It had been another typical Nerima day.  The sun had shone, the
birds had sang, people had gossiped about the panty thief, and Ranma
Saotome had caused more property damage than a tornado in a trailer park.
The sun was setting and the day winding to a close.  Who would have guessed
that something truly unusual would happen in a place renowned for strange
happenings.

	(A tall stranger walked down the main street.  The sun was at his
back, and his face was not visible to anyone squinting in his direction.
He wore rough jeans and a checked flannel shirt.  His vest was tan, the
same tan as his scruffy looking cowboy hat, and his spurs jangled from
their location on his boots.  He walked with an extreme confidence,
noteworthy in a town full of confident, swaggering martial artists.  When
he passed any young women, he tipped his hat and walked on.....)

	"For your despicable treatment of Shampoo, I have come to kill you,
Ranma Saotome!"  Mousse pointed at a signpost next to Ranma.  Ranma merely
sighed, and reached over to pull the glasses down onto Mousse's face.
	"I'm right here stupid.  C'mon, lets get this over with."  Ranma
was resigned to the fight, but had no doubt that he would win.  Just then a
passing scooter hit a puddle, throwing water in all directions.  Mousse was
shielded from the spray by his rival, who instantly turned female.
	"Aw, nuts!  Why does this always have to happen?"  Asked
Ranma-chan.  "Well Mousse, lets get on with it!"
	Mousse produced a wicked looking spiked staff from his volumious
robe and charged.

	(The tall stranger was obviously out of his element.  However, he
seemed to have some destination in mind as he walked along. Though
deliberate, his pace was careful, as if timing himself to be someplace at a
certain time.  A few people passed close enough to get a look at his face
and were shocked by the visage they saw there.)

	Ranma parried Mousse's latest thrust while running backwards.  He
didn't like running from anything, but the sidestreet Mousse had pushed him
down didn't leave enough room to maunever.  Had he been in his boy form, he
would have fought there, but in his weaker girl form, he felt that speed
and agility were his advantages.  Racing backwards he did not noticed the
fallen trashcan just before the end of the street.
	As he saw Ranma fall backwards, Mousse spun his staff around and
struck out with the butt end.  The blow landed squarely on Ranma's temple,
rattling the young boy/girl's head enough to confuse her/him for just a
minute.  In that minute Mousse towered over his fallen adversary.
	"I have you now Saotome!"  Screamed Mousse as he stuck out with the
staff as though it were a club.

	The club stopped inches from it's target, grasped firmly in a large
hand.  The hand was attached to a very large westerner.  With a twist and a
wrench, he effortlessly pulled the staff from Mousse's hand.
	"Well, now Pilgram," drawled the man.  "I don't think that was a
right neighborly thing to do."
	"Who, are you, to question me?  You are interferring in a man to
man fight!  I will defeat Ranma and gain my Shampoo!"
	"Pilgram, that has to be the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Beatin' up on a woman,"  the stranger pointed to Ranma who was still
shaking her head trying to clear it, "calling her a man, and all over a
bottle of soap?"
	Mousse started to protest, but was stopped when the tall stranger
gave him back his staff.  Very hard, sideways into his gut.  He gasped
slightly from the impact.
	"Ya know, somebody oughta bust you right in the mouth, but I'm not
gonna."  The stranger looked down at Mousse, and square in the eye.  "I'm
not gonna.  The hell I'm not!"  With that the stranger doubled back his
right arm and threw a tremendous round house.  Despite years of Martial
arts, Mousse was caught flatfooted.  He took the punch on the chin and fell
backwards, out cold before he even hit the ground.
	"Whoa,"  said Ranma-chan, "that was pretty good mister, taking out
Mousse with one punch!  Say, I'm Ranma, what's your name?"  Ranma was
already talking to the stranger's receding back.
	"My name's John, but my friends call me the Duke."  Came the reply
over the shoulder.
	Ranma put two and three together and came up with forty two, which
in this case just happened to be the right answer.  "You can't be, you died
years ago!"
	"Well, Pilgram, you don't think a little thing like death is going
to keep me from making last minute rescues do you?  Be seein' ya now, I've
got another one in down town tokyo in an hour, and I don't want to be late!"
	Ranma stared silently as the figure strode off into the sunset.....


**********
Okay, this one is a no-brainer.  Feel free to comment, mst, slice, dice,
fold spindle and mutilate.  I had this idea about the Duke being somekind
of demi-god that went around making last minute rescues throught time and
space....do not be surprised if something shows up like this
again....Please let me know what you all think!

BTW I got this idea while re-watching ElDorado while talking to a friend
who is also a big fan of John Wayne while both of us were in 3B (three
beers).  I guess with a name like Big Bore, it is only natural my heroes
would be men like John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, John Browning, Col. Patterson
and such....

Please let me know what you think!  Catch ya later and keep yer powder dry!

Big Bore and the Nitro Express!


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