A figure in armor stands at a computer terminal at a univeristy typing
away as two figures aproach him.

Ranma: Hey Archy. How's it going?

Akane: Hi Archive.

Archive: Hi. I'm doing well. Wrote a lot this week.

Ranma: Makes up for slacking off the couple weeks before that.

Archive: Oh, be quite.


On Fri, 5 Dec 1997, Florencio B. de la Merced, Jr. wrote:

Silly
-----

Ranma: My life summed up in one word.

Akane: Tell me about it.
 

by Florencio B. de la Merced, Jr. (fmerced@pworld.net.ph)
Web page: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3641/index.html

A Fanfic inspired by the anime Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi

A project for the Fan Fiction Mailing List (fanfic@fanfic.com)
-----

Part 4

-----

Ranma: Part 4? You don't mst it til part 4? I bet it's the last part too.

Archive: Er... Yeah.

Akane: Running 2 and 2 of msting final parts of a series.

Archive: I'm not sure if it is the final part. There might be more. At
least I hope there is.
 

Ranma knew something like this would happen.  He wasn't a bit surprised
that morning when he woke up and discovered he had been gagged and tied up
in bed.  Something like this happened to him before, but that time it was
a tuxedo that surprised him.  The ropes that binded his hands behind his
back were tight and secure.  But it didn't really bothered him that he
couldn't use his arms.  It was the bindings at his feet that were killing
him.  Not only was he tied poorly at his ankles, he swore he couldn't feel
anything beneath the gorgonian like knot above his heels.  Good thing

Ranma: Akane must of tied them.

Akane: You can't move can you? So, I did a good job.

Kasumi stopped by his room and loosened it a bit for him.  Surprisingly,
she didn't free him completely and even gave a word of advice.  "This is
for your own good, Ranma."  Kasumi had said to him.  Ranma was definitely
in trouble now.  If Kasumi wouldn't help him, who will?

Ranma: Why does everyone insist on doing things 'for my own good.'

Akane: Because you would screw it up if you tried.

Archive: Because you refuse to do it yourself.

 

"Morning, Ranma."  Akane sat beside her struggling fiancé and had brought
with her a tray of breakfast.  "Comfy?"  Ranma glared at her with an
obvious hint of anger in his eyes.  "Don't worry.  This will all be over
before lunch."  Ranma tried to protest, but to no avail.  "Come, let me
take that gag of you so you can eat." Akane reached over and tried to
untie the piece of cloth around Ranma's head.  Intentional or not,
Ranma's head was buried in her lap.  "There."  Ranma gasped for some stale
air and he wanted to scream at the top of his lung.  But, Akane's soft and
gentle stroking of his hair made him hesitate.  "Don't get angry, Ranma.
It'll be for your own good."

Ranma: Will people stop doing things for my own good? I can handle them
myself.

Archive & Akane: NO!
 

"What does that mean anyway? For my own good?"  Ranma rolled over and now
he was staring right up to Akane.  "Kasumi didn't even help me this
morning."

"Why would she?  She half-planned all of this." Ranma couldn't believe

Ranma: Who's the other half.

Archive: Think. Who's the planner of the Ranma crew.

Ranma and Akane: Nabiki.

Ranma(morbidly): Just great.

what he had heard.  Good old Kasumi, turned bad?  It was horrifying to
even consider.  "Anyway, the important thing to remember is that I'll
fight for you, no matter what." Akane giggled and kissed the tip of
Ranma's nose.  Ranma tried to kiss back, but being in an inverted position
and had no way of lifting himself up Akane's lap, he decided otherwise and
just kiss Akane on the forehead, the nearest part of her his lips could
reach.  "See, you're all better now."

Ranma: I doubt it.
 

-----

"Shampoo didn't come here to play games."  The young amazon girl flatly
protested Nabiki's conditions.  "I came to win Ranma, not play stupid
games."

Akane: Isn't that what she's been doing all along. Playing stupid games.
 

Nabiki grinned at her untrusting guest and tried to explain herself.
"That's just it.  To win Ranma, you have to win in this game,"

Ranma: I'M THE PRIZE! Who the hell thought this up.

Akane: Nabiki did.

Ranma: Why are you going though with it?

Akane(angrily): What!? You don't want me to win this?

Ranma: NO! Why is their a contest in the first place.

Akane: Oh.....
 

Another young woman, carrying a huge spatula on her back, walked up to the
two.  "Since when is Ran-chan ever a prize in a silly contest?"  It was
Kasumi's turn to answer.

Ranma: My question exactly.
 

"Ukyou, please.  This is for Ranma's own good,"  Ukyou and Shampoo stared
at Kasumi, "if he won't settle this.  We'll have to settle this for
ourselves."  Everyone fell silent for no one really knew what else to say
about it.  Ranma was finally being raffled off to whoever wins in a
contest the two elder Tendo sisters had conjured up.

Ranma(sarcasticly): And the win is ticket number 0958.

Akane(jokingly): Damn. 0957.

Kodachi: I won! Ranma-darling you're all mine!

Ranma screams and runs off, chased by Kodachi.

Archive: Aren't you going to follow him?

Akane: He'll be back. Even he wouldn't do anything with her.
 

"I'm ready."  Akane came down the stairs, carrying with her a helpless
Ranma.  "Are we starting yet?"

"Nope, we've still got a couple of our friends to wait for."  Nabiki led
everyone towards the training hall.  Inside, chairs were set up for each
of the contestants and with each a small rectangular piece of blackboard
and several chalk sticks.  Both Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome were already
waiting inside.  Nodoka was standing in one corner and was manning what
looked liked a tally board.

"Is everyone here?"  Nabiki answered her father's question.  "Who else are
we waiting for?"

Ranma (arrives from the opposite direction he left.): Is she gone?

Akane: Yes.
 

"OHOHOHOHO!!  Ranma-sama!  Where are you?"  Everyone cringed at the
despicable laughter that could only belong to Kodachi Kuno.  Nabiki
instructed everyone to grab a seat so that the contest for Ranma could
start.  Ranma was placed in front of everyone to see for the whole
duration of the contest..

Ranma (SCREAMS)
 

"My god?  What are they trying to do?"  Ranma asked himself.  "They're not
going to do what I think they're doing?"  Ranma looked around.  When he
saw his own mother supervising the scoring, he almost fainted.  "Ack!  My
own mother! Betraying me!  NO!"  He came to tears.

Ranma (crying): I'm dead. Kodachi is going to win and I'm dead.

Akane: Have some faith in me.

Ranma: Faith in you, yes. But my faith in bad luck is greater.
 

"Ranma? What's wrong boy?" Genma slapped his son on the back to no avail.
Ranma was losing it.  His sanity, mostly.

Ranma (sits in chair drooling)

Akane: Gee, he's taking this well. I've had to put up with this crap
before, do you see me going nuts.

Ranma: But they weren't people you trusted.

Akane: Excuse me. Do I have to remind you when you and Ryoga used me as a
prize. I trusted him and sort of trusted you then.

Ranma: But this is everyone I trusted!
 

"Um, prey tell Nabiki.  But, what am I doing sitting here with these
women?" Kuno turned to Akane.  "Not that I do not enjoy the company and
such, fair Akane."  Akane just bopped Tatewaki on the head.

Ranma: KUNO! I'm really dead. He's going to win I'm sure of it.

Archive: Gee, your pesimistic.

Ranma: With my life, wouldn't you be.

Archive: You got a point.
 

"Why, isn't it obvious?"  Nabiki devilishly grinned at Kuno, but still
Tatewaki failed to make the connection with the prize and his purpose
sitting among the contestants.

Akane: Not to clueless-boy.
 

Kasumi nodded to Nabiki and the young host of the contest signaled for
the start of the tournament.  Kasumi brought out a piece of document for
everyone to sign.  Nabiki waited for each contestant to sign the piece of
paper being handed around before turning on her karaoke.

Archive: They've sold themselves to the devil!

Akane: My sister is not that bad.

Ranma: She's worse.

Akane(Whamps Ranma on the head): Quite you.
 

"Testing, one, two."  Nabiki cleared her voice.  "Thank you everyone for
coming to the one time, Win Ranma Contest of the Tendo School of Anything
Goes Martial Arts dojo."  Everyone tried to clap in appreciation.  Ranma
started to bap his head on the wooden floor but was stopped from further
injury by Soun and Genma.  "Kasumi, will you please explain the mechanics
of this contest."

Ranma: Shoot me! Shoot me now!

Archive (chi blasts Ranma): Feel better:

Ranma (burnt crispy): No.
 

The oldest of the Tendo sisters walked up in front and grabbed the
microphone from her sister.  "As you may have noticed that you all have
signed a piece of paper a while ago.  That document is a legal contract
for all parties concerned."  A few eyebrows raised.  "This only means
that, who ever wins this contest, gets Ranma.  While the losers will not
anymore interfere."  An uproar from the very people in front of Kasumi was
heard.

"What do you mean, not interfere?  What if violent girl wins stupid
contest, or spatula war-freak over there?"  Shampoo shot a glare at Ukyou.

Archive: Not interfere - to refrain from action that would impede an
action.
 

"Hey!  Whom are you calling war-freak?  Bimbo!"

"I think she meant you, Ukyou"

"Shut up!  Kitchen destroyer!"

"Hey!"

Akane (glowing blue): I need to hurt something.

Ranma and Archive:......
 

"What about me?!!  OHOHOH!  What about me?!"

"Oh, woe is me.  What am I, Blue Thunder or Furinkan high, doing in such
stupendous surroundings?"

Akane (pulls out effigy of Kuno and obliterates it): I feel better.

Ranma: Wish I did.
 

It was turning to be quite a riot inside the training hall.  And there was
only one thing left to do to calm everyone.  Whack!!  One of the empty
chairs broke in half.  "Ladies, settle down.  You know very well my son
should have one of you.  But his indecision had caused so much pain for
everyone.  So to settle it all, those that truly love and knows my son
will be his true fiancée, and the one he'll marry."  Everyone froze, not
by what Nodoka had said, but the image of the katana blade in front of
them.  Ranma fell face forward shocked at what he heard.

Ranma: Any wonder I hid as Ranko for so long?

Akane: Er... Nope.
 

"Marry?  I do not, nor ever dreamt to marry that idiot.  Nabiki why am I
here?"  Tatewaki tried to stand up but was held down by Nabiki.

"Sit down, Kuno.  Or I won't tell you where your precious pig-tailed
goddess is." Kuno fell back into his chair and muttered something about
his weakness at being bribed.  "Good."

Ranma: He's going to win.

Akane: Stop blabbering.

Ranma: I'm not blabbering. I'm being pesimistic.
 

-----

Everything was ready for the start of the contest.  Ryoga had finally
showed up and took his place as the official timer.  Mousse and Cologne
joined Nabiki, Soun and Genma as the official group of answer readers.
Kasumi took her place as the question reader, while Dr. Tofu had in his
hands the answers to these intriguing trivia's about Ranma.

Ranma: P-Chan actually made it to the event the day it was suppose to
happen.

Archive: They told him it was the week previously.

Akane: Stop picking on him.
 

"As some of you may already know.  Ranma answered my slum book, where he
placed his honest answers to some typical questions like, what is his
favorite singer, color. etc."  Everyone was surprised as Ranma to learn of
the questions involved in the contest.  "But there is more, not so typical
questions too that he answered for me.  I got him to answer them because I
intentionally told him that his answers won't turn public.  Of course I
lied, which is probably the first time.  But its for a good cause.  And,
Dr. Tofu has those answers in his hands."  Kasumi smiled at the kind
doctor holding her slum book.  However, Tofu freezed up as usual. "Oh,
my."

Archive: Sign of the coming end of the world: Kasumi lied.

Ranma: I am doomed.
 

It took a couple of more minutes for Tofu to recover before everything was
ready.   Kasumi brought out her cue cards and read the first question.

-----

Ranma looked nervously at the tally board.  It turned out as a close
fight.
Only Kodachi was out of the fight with only a few correct answers.
Shampoo was only a few points behind Akane, but it was Ukyou who had the
lead.  Kasumi was nearing her last few questions and it was only a matter
of time.  Akane was glancing back at Ranma and she could see and feel the
sadness in her fiancée's eyes.  Genma and Soun too were on the edge.  They
couldn't believe what was happening.  Ukyou, though was cheering herself
and was even joined in by Ryoga.  Nabiki, though, was calm and collected.

Ranma: Um, there's no Kuno reference.

Archive: He dropped out. He didn't understand his 'pig-tailed goddess' was
the prize.

Ranma: Wait a second. Akane you're losing! How can you lose this?

Akane: I'm trying my best. 
 

"Ok.  The question is..." Ranma couldn't stand the tension.  His life was
hanging on this last question. "Who do you love?"

Ranma: (GULP)
 

Everyone flinched, forgetting to write anything on their answer boards and
all but Nabiki stared at the kind doctor sitting in front of everyone.

Ranma (shock): N...n...no one answered... U...Ukyou won.

Archive: Wanna bet.
 

"Well, Dr. Tofu.  What did Ranma answer to this last question?"  Everyone
held there breath.

-----

Hours later, Ranma was sitting out on the porch overlooking the fish pond.
Akane was with him, leaning against his shoulder.

"I guess I owe Nabiki big time."  Ranma winced at the memories of that
morning.  Akane smiled, knowing what he had gone through.

Akane: Because I went through them FAR too often.

Ranma (blink): What happened?

Archive: My guess the points went to the person's whose name was on the
card.

Akane (jokingly): So, Ranma got the points.

Archive: And the name is [Akane]

Akane: You really do love me! (hugs Ranma)

Ranma (big sweats)
 

"You also owe Kasumi, too."  Ranma nodded in agreement.  Akane lifted
Ranma's arm and he obliged by holding her in a warm embrace.  "I just hope
everyone abides by the contract."  Ranma wanted the same.

Ranma: Is it a cold day in hell?

Archive: No.

Ranma: Then they won't.
 

"Funny, though.  I don't remember that question in Kasumi's slum book."
Akane stared at Ranma in surprise.  Ranma smiled and kissed her.

Akane (holding Ranma gruffly): What do you mean, 'that question wasn't in
the book.'

Archive: It was one of the extra questions.

Akane: Oh. (kisses Ranma)

-----

END

-----


Ok, whoever asked how Nabiki would handle the 'dirty' job back from
part 1...this one's for you Lord Archive.

Archive: Thanks.
 

Another thing...I would have made it a 'spin the bottle' contest, but I
think this turned out fine.

Ranma: Spin the bottle? (Fiants)
 
Archive: I could see Ranma and Ryoga using chi blasts to keep it spinning
until it points at Akane or anyone else (respectively).

What do you think?  C&C please.  MST? Heh.

Archive: MST. I meant to do the first part, but fell asleep. Great series,
want more.

Ranma: Please no more. Akane wins or it's a tie.

Akane: What's wrong with that. 

Ranma: I hate losing.

Archive: What if the next contest is Anything Goes Martial Carnal Arts?

Akane: Archive wa Hentai.

Archive: So?

Ranma: That's a contest I wouldn't mind.

Akane: Ranma no Hentai! (Mallets Ranma)

Archive: I don't think you'll mind that during the honeymoon.

Akane (Blushes): Well, great story. Hope there's more.

Ranma: Maybe one where I win wouldn't be bad.

Akane: But you won me.

Ranma (Looks like he's about to say something but doesn't.)

Archive (thought): He actual stopped himself from saying something stupid.

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