At 20:18 1/12/97 -0800, you wrote:

	Akane almost jumped at Ranma's voice, but she soon settled down. Ranma
lied down beside her and said, "It's past midnight, whatcha doin here?"

This line doesn't really fit with the sun rising soon. Try something like
"Do you know how early it is? Whatcha doin here?"

Other than that, its a wonderful story, I enjoyed it alot.
-----------
Rarstarr,
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz