Well, I see that the grammar and spelling things have already been
pointed out. One other thing: use of high-ascii characters. Your quote
marks come out as strange symbols on my PINE mail reader. When you're
posting to a mailing list or to raac, you'll want to use simpler
characters--straight " marks, for example.
	The other concern is that you may be going too many directions too
quickly. I see this is meant to be an epic--and that's great. However, the
handling is a little off. Slow it down a little, and don't introduce too
many different plotlines so quickly.
	I look forward to more, certainly. Any fic that incorporates
elements of EVA and Escaflowne while not having to use Ranma is surely
worthy of praise. ^_^ And the B5 angle is, of course, welcome.

>From Andrew Huang, brought to you by his computer, Oddzilla
Oddzilla says, "Mmmmm...Evanjellydonut...."
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
Harvard Anime Society, Secretary