1�Roku-bun No San (3/6) by A-kun the Superfan Here's my first fanfic. I got to thinking what might happen if...well, I'll just let you read. Disclaimers:The usual for any fanfic. Shin Saotome: Think Ranma without the pigtail. Ranko Saotome: Think Ranma-chan with a ponytail instead of a pigtail. Any other unknown characters I'll explain later in the story. I'll also be putting in poems, commercials, etc. in the story. However, I may get too caught up in the tale to put them in right away. I am also a cameo freak, so watch carefully for mentionings or appearances by unusual characters. And I must warn that it will be serious first and will degrade even further than Miss Takahashi would permit. I know other people have made stories involving Ranma having family members, but this is MINE AND ONLY MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And I reserve the right to use semi-profane words. Example: rearend, butt, thigh, nudity, jello, squishy and pop. Later, I decided to throw something together with vampires. Enjoy! ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------ Opening Theme Song - "Don't Make Me Wild Like You" A-kun's attribute to the story (A-kun:seemed appropriate) Yappa paa, Yappa paa - don't know what to do My heart is not a game - it's Mah-Jongg to you Yappa paa, Yappa paa - feel like such a shrew Who needs boys? Don't you dare - make me wild like you Before you, boys got on their knees Ranma, Ranma - it's me you always tease Since the day I ran into you Ranma, Ranma you - stole my heart and you - Don't you dare go and - make me wild like you. Somebody tell me why it's so hard To say those three words, "I love you"? If I let myself give into you I'll become just as - wild as you! Before you come in like a breeze Won't you stop and ring the bell, please? Before you make my heart a home Why not let me love you on my own? I'd better off without you - But just tonight it's all right... Until tomorrow, all right. Everytime your eyes turn to me Ranma, Ranma, you - make me feel dizzy Someday we may be more than "friends" Ranma, Ranma you've - gone and done it true - Can't you see that you've - made me wild like you. ------------------------------------------------------------ =========================================================== Prologue =========================================================== -"Grasshopper, if you are ever put into jail, never call me. I don't want my rep destroyed."- Happosai to his first student. =========================================================== "This had better work." the business man said. "I told you that you wouldn't waste your money and I'm a man of my word." the scientist replied. "Are you sure this won't create any paradoxes or nothing?" the assistant asked. "This machine takes the energy pattern of the person designated and reproduces it, then sends the first back to the time and place it was and the copy appears on the platform. I'm not stupid! I know the possibility of causing a temporal loop or a paradox. This way, we don't have that problem because the person is still technically there." the scientist answered. "And the possibilities are endless! Think about! Being able to not only preserve endangered species and restore extinct species, but being able to make sure that we never lose valued scientists and engineers to accidents!" the assistant said, excitedly. "Enough babble! Let's test this machine." the business man said, irritated. The machine posed the intresting idea of pulling advanced technology from the future. "I believe we should try something close to our own time for trials before trying for something deep in the past." the scientist replied. "Alright. I just want to make sure I get my investment's worth." the business man replied. The scientist smiled. "Do not worry. Although we've done inanimate objects and basic plants and animals, bringing a human will prove that ANY mammal may be transported." He set the computer to finding a suitable human subject. The computer beeped as it found a suitable test subject. The scientist and assistant flicked a number of switches and pressed a variety of buttons. The scientist wrapped his hand around the last switch and took a deep breath. "This is for all of science!" He cried. Shin Saotome sat with his two fiancees and couldn't help but smile. He was lucky that Akane and Ukyo never fought, otherwise it would seriously stress him out. The way it turned out, the three of them were close friends. They sat on a grassy hill on a blanket. "Akane, is that your delicious lunch I smell?" Ukyo asked. Akane blushed. "Yeah." Akane said, obviously embarrassed. "Hey, the mistake was a simple one last time. You mixed up, that's all." Shin said, smiling. "Hey, Shin!" Ryoga yelled. The three turned to see Ryoga, Nabiki, Kasumi, Dr. Tofu, Shampoo, Aloe (Think Shampoo with shorter blue hair and blue eyes), Mousse, and Gosunkugi walking up next to them. "You wouldn't believe it, but Ryoga got us here all by himself without getting lost once!" Nabiki said, hugging Ryoga's arm. "Great going!" Shin said. "Yay!" Ukyo cheered. Dr. Tofu and Kasumi sat down together next to Nabiki and Ryoga. Gosunkugi and Aloe sat next to each other with Shampoo and Mousse. "Maybe it was because of his workout with you last night. I mean, the floor boards were squeaking!" Shin said, grinning. The two blushed. Kasumi giggled. "Oh, Kasumi? Can you and Dr. Tofu be a little louder? I think someone in Tokyo actually fell asleep." Shin commented, obviously trying to embarrass the nearly married couple. Kasumi and Dr. Tofu blushed. Gosunkugi and Aloe laughed. "You should laugh! After all, Shampoo and Mousse had to move in with us because you two keep them up all night." Akane said, smiling slyly. "Aloe should be happy that great-grandmother go back to China." Shampoo said. "You're picking up japanese pretty well." Ukyo said. "Mousse is teaching Shampoo to speak properly. Shampoo speak much more goodly japanese!" Shampoo said proudly. "Speak better japanese. It's speak better japanese, Shampoo." Shin told her, smiling. "It doesn't matter really. I mean, she speaks better japanese than most of the deliquents in our school." Ukyo commented. "True." Akane and Shin replied. "Listen, I forgot something, so I'll just go grab it." Shin said, standing up. "Hurry back!" Everyone told him. "I will!" Shin yelled in replied. With that, Shin ran down the hill. Ranko Saotome sat in her room, sighing as she sadly looked through a photo album of her mother. It was all she had left ever since her mother had died after giving birth to her. Tears filled her eyes. She had never gotten to see her mother. Then, a few months ago, her father and Mr. Tendo's master, Happosai, had shown up. The two had waited until Happosai was asleep before..... She shook her head. The two had slain Happosai and didn't even defend themselves in court, only repeating "The demon is dead. The demon is dead." Idiocy! Her father left her all alone. Sure, the Tendos could take care of her, but no one from her own family was there. She sighed, closed the book and began to cry. Shin felt a warm light surround him. Within seconds, the light faded and disappeared. Shin shrugged and went on with his life. Ranko didn't notice the light at all. She just continued crying. "The energy is out of control! It's going to-" the assistant never got to finish the sentence. The room was engulfed in flames. ============================================================-"So it all falls out, that what we have, we prize not the value while's we enjoy it; But, by being lack and lost, why then we find the value and then we find the virtue that possesion would not permit us, while's it was ours."- Famous speech I decided to throw in. ============================================================ It Begins.... Shin woke up. "What the hell just happened?" He asked. He stood up and looked around. It looked like an explosion had occured. He looked for something that might explain what had happened, who he was or who the strange girl who the same height as him with the nasty looking katana standing next to him was. Ranko was trying to figure out who she was and who the boy with the bo across his back was. They recalled their names, special techniques and other basic information, but they didn't know how they knew it or even recall the simplest memory. From the look on the other's face, they got the impression they were in pretty much the same position. "Uh, hi. I'm Shin Saotome." He said, extending his hand to her. "I'm Ranko Saotome." Ranko replied. "Are you my sister?" Shin asked. "I don't know." Ranko replied. "Well, if we don't want to get in trouble for this, we'd better get going." Shin said. "Hey, a car!" Ranko said, pointing to a red car. They reached the red american sports car quickly. "Is it ours?" Ranko asked. "Do we care?" Shin asked. Shin opened the door, saw the keys in the ignition and grinned. (Hero law: The keys on any car that the hero(es) must use, will always have the keys in the ignition or in an obvious place.) "Let's go." Shin said. ============================================================ -"You're really pissing me off!!!!!"- Odin to A-kun, just before A-kun and Loki are thrown out of Vahalla. ============================================================ "Where'd you learn to drive?!?!?!" Ranko asked/ screamed. "'Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls', why?" Shin asked, looking at Ranko. Ranko screamed as the car went on two wheels as they turned the corner. "Oh, don't worry. I know that I was in a stunt driving class...or at least I think I was." Shin told her. Her confidence was not boosted. In fact, it was at an all time low. "Pull over! I'm driving!" Ranko yelled. Later, with Ranko driving, they arrived in Tokyo. Shin sighed as Ranko wasn't driving as fast as he would like to go. "Come on, Ranko. We're in a sports car. Why do you think they're called sports cars? Because they're used in sports like baseball! I mean, haven't you ever seen a sports car on a baseball field?" Shin asked. "No." Ranko replied. "Well, I have. Or was that in 'Naked Gun'? Aw, who cares." Shin said. "Look, we've dicussed this and I, for one, want to live to get to the Tendo dojo." Ranko replied. "Do you have a driver's license?" Shin asked. "No." Ranko replied. "WHAT? I"VE BEEN DRIVING FIFTY MILES WITH A GIRL WHO DOESN'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!?!?!?!?!?! PULL OVER!!!" Shin yelled. "Do YOU have a driver's license?" Ranko asked, pulling over. Shin pulled out his wallet and produced a driver's license. "Shin, this says you're thirty-five." Ranko said. "Your point being?" Shin asked. "My point being if a cop pulls us over, this ain't going to be any good!" Ranko replied. "And if a cop pulls us over now, he'll think you're joyriding! It's safer with me at the wheel. And I promise to keep it under 100 mph this time." Shin said. "65 mph." Ranko stated. "Alright, 65 mph." Shin replied. The car screeched to a halt in front of the Tendo dojo. "Did you have to do the 180?" Ranko asked, her stomach refusing the food she ate earlier. "Like-a-glove!" Shin said, imitating Ace Ventura. "More like an airplane slamming in a control tower." Ranko replied. (Author's note: Big and graceful, and leaves a mess. Same thing can be said about a new puppy, A-chan, and Loki.) "Hey, we're here in one piece, aren't we?" Shin asked. "Not the car." Ranko said, pointing to the numerous dents and scratches along the sides and front of the car. "Well, I'm glad it ain't ours." Shin said. "How do you know?" Ranko asked. "Says in the paper work that I was reading, it belongs to some other guy." Shin replied. "When did you have time to read that?" Ranko asked. "When I was driving, of course." Shin answered. Ranko's right eye twitched and sweat drops appeared behind her. "I think we need to restore YOUR memory first. Then maybe you'll realize what you've done." Ranko said. "Not likely, but possible. I don't know why, but I really like driving. There's something about racing down a street at 120 mph, wheels squealing, people lunging out of the way, axles nearly snapping, it's so exihilarating!" Shin said. With the mentioning of 'axles snapping', the axles groaned and broke, startling the two. "I think you just like the sound of an engine going full throttle." Ranko replied. "I guess so. Anyway, it ain't my car, so it ain't my problem." Shin said, ignorantly. "You've seen too many action films." Ranko muttered as they got out of the car. ============================================================ -"Do NOT go in there! Hwoo!"- Ace Ventura. ============================================================ Ranma-chan was sweating profusely. Nodoka had shown up a day ago, and was bugging Ranma-chan to try on some dresses. Of course, having Akane, Kasumi, and Nabiki there was no help as they had proded Ranma-chan into trying the dresses on. So, Ranma-chan sat in the somewhat spacious women's changing room with a bunch of dresses in front of her. The frilly dress Nabiki had given her to try on was WAY out of line. The dress Akane had chosen was a light pink, so no way was she wearing that. Nodoka had given her a strapless black silk outfit. Only Kasumi had been kind enough to give her a practical outfit, which was a lot like Kasumi's standard outfit. Ranma-chan frowned. She NEVER liked dresses, after all, she was really a guy. She sighed and since the three Tendo girls had given her an ultimatum, she had no choice but go along with their demands or buy and wear the most embarrassing red.....thing that a girl could wear. They had also threatened to tell Nodoka that she needed undergarments to match if she didn't choose at least two dresses. Ranma-chan just never thought that Kasumi would be the one to threaten Ranma-chan with that. The strapless outfit and the outfit that looked like Kasumi's were the only acceptable choices. The others would be too...too...girly. At least she could looked all right with the ones she had already chosen. She grab the two from the four and walked out with them. "I've decided." Ranma-chan said. "RANKO, we have to see you try them or the deal's off." Akane said, smiling evilly. Ranma-chan was about to complain when she realized that Nabiki stood ready to tell Nodoka. She sighed and walked back in, after giving Akane the two dresses she didin't want. Ranma-chan walked out two minutes later wearing the Kasumi-esque outfit. The girls admired Ranma-chan, then pushed her back in to put on the other outfit. Ranma-chan walked out ten minutes later with the strapless outfit, feeling dirty and slimely. "Oh, Ranko. You're so pretty." Nodoka said. Nabiki and Akane were on the verge of breaking out into laughter and did so. Kasumi just smiled. Ranma-chan marched right back into the changing room and walked out wearing her normal outfit and carrying the two dresses. "Alright, let's just get outta here." Ranma-chan said. After paying for the dresses, Nabiki and Akane grinned like maniacs. "If it's this funny, let's just do it." Akane whispered, obviously having fun in torturing Ranma-chan. Nabiki nodded. "Hey auntie, I think Ranko needs some undergarments to go with those outfits. I mean, all she wears is boxers. That's not right that she shouldn't have female undergarments." Nabiki said, grinning madly. "Hey, you promised!" Ranma-chan said. "We agreed not to inform her in the store." Nabiki said, still grinning. "You're right, Nabiki. Come on, Ranko. By the time we're through with you, you'll be a whole new woman." Nodoka said, dragging Ranko off to other stores. "And a whole new pervert." Akane whispered to Nabiki, who giggled. They followed, laughing and smiling all the way. Ranko and Shin were laying on 'their' futons trying to remember more about their lives than the movies they've seen, etc. They both were obilivous to the sound of Genma-panda and Soun playing Shogi downstairs and the sound of the five women coming home. Shin sighed, got up and went to the upstairs bathroom. (Author's note: I'm assuming there's an upstairs bathroom.) Shin turned on the cold water and splashed his face. Shin then looked up into the mirror to see something unexpected, well, for someone who has few memories outside of movies anyway. Shin looked at the redhaired female that was the same height as he was in the mirror and after looking at him...er, herself to make sure, she fainted. Finally, after three minutes, Shin-chan woke up. And after regaining more of her memory (through the natural shock to his....er, her system), she calmly walked back to 'her' room with two glasses of cold and hot water. Ranma-chan and Nodoka walked upstairs to put Ranma-chan's new purchases away. As they walked into the room, they both noticed Shin-chan and Ranko facing each other, and talking. "Why, Ranko. You never told me you had sisters, let alone identical sisters." Nodoka said. Ranko, Shin-chan and Ranma-chan looked at each other for a while. Not moving, not even blinking. Suddenly, Shin-chan decided to act. "Sis! It's been so long!" Shin-chan said, zipping up and hugging Ranma-chan. "I can't believe it! We're finally a family again!" Ranko cried, as she followed Shin-chan's lead and hugged Ranma-chan as well. If it caught on a camera, it would have been THE Kodak moment. If it were on film, it would have won an Oscar for performance. As none of these were present, it was just a very touching moment. Nodoka sighed, wishing Ranma was there. (Ah, if only she knew.) "We've got a LOT to talk about!" Shin-chan said, pulling Ranko and Ranma-chan off. ============================================================ -"Sure. Bite me!"- A-kun when asked if he would comment on camera. ============================================================ "Hold it. You mean, you're both from another dimension, you can't remember very much, and you have no idea of how you got here?" Ranma-chan asked. Shin-chan and Ranko nodded. Ranma-chan groaned and began rubbing the bridge of her nose. "As if my life wasn't complicated enough." Ranma-chan said, sarcastically. Shin-chan rapped her over the head with her bo. "Look, we don't like it either, but we had no choice in the matter. It doesn't matter whether your life is or isn't complicated, because whether or not you like it, it's happening. The best way to handle it is to accept it and try to find a way BACK to our home universes." Shin-chan replied. "Besides, that lady thinks we're you're sisters, so we're stuck here." Ranko told Ranma-chan. Ranma-chan sighed. "By the way, who was that lady?" Ranko asked. "Mom? You don't know her?" Ranma-chan asked. "Mommy?" Ranko asked in a a small voice. "What do you remember?" Shin-chan asked. Ranko burst into tears and hugged Shin-chan, who was uncomfortable. "I'm going to make an assumption here, Ranko, and I'd like you to just nod or shake your head if I'm wrong. Okay?" Shin-chan asked softly. Ranko nodded. "Did you lose your mother?" Shin-chan asked quietly. Ranko cried harder and nodded. Shin-chan hugged her closer. Ranma-chan, who can't stand seeing girls cry, put her hand on Ranko's shoulder, hoping that it might comfort Ranko. Ranko's crying slowed and finally after a while, she stopped, but she was still red-eyed and sniffing. "For what it's worth, we're your brothers now. We'll take care of you." Ranma-chan said. Ranko smiled slightly. "Thanks, Ranma." Ranko said. "If she's mom, why isn't she calling you by your first name?" Shin-chan asked. "Cause she doesn't know about my curse or any other." Ranma-chan replied. "You'd better give us the run down of your life. Who knows, maybe'll it'll spark our memory further." Shin-chan suggested. "This'll take a while." Ranma-chan said. "We're listening." Shin-chan replied. ============================================================ -"Put a spoonful of wine into a barrel of sewage and you get sewage. Put a spoonful of sewage into a barrel of wine and you get sewage. But, put a spoonful of Akane's cooking into either and you get Akane's cooking."- Ranma's twist on Murphy's law. ============================================================ Ranko, Shin-chan and Ranma-chan finished explaining the situation to the Tendos and to 'Mr. Panda', when Nodoka walked in. (It took a while to calm Ranko down and understand that Mr. Tendo and Genma had NOT broken out of jail, and yes, she did recall that.) "Come on, Kasumi. We'd better start on dinner. And after dinner, you can introduce me to your sisters, Ranko." Nodoka said, smiling. After Kasumi left, the trio of cursed inhabitants let out the breath they had been holding. "We'd better come up with names and quick." Ranko said. Ranma-chan and Shin-chan nodded. "How about Gina and Brianna?" Akane asked. "We're trying to sound japanese, Akane. Though I kinda like the names." Shin-chan replied. "How about Azusa and Kodachi?" Genma-panda signed. "We don't want to be named after psychopaths." the trio said in unison. "I think we'd better use unusual names. Ayeka and Sasami." Shin-chan said. "I like 'em." Ranma-chan said. "I'll take Ayeka." Ranko said. "Sasami and Ayeka Tendo?" Akane asked. "Yep." Shin-chan replied. "Well, SISTERS. What are we going to do?" Ranko/Ayeka asked. "What do you mean?" Ranma-chan asked. "She means 'what are we going to do all day?' I guess we could go to school posing as cousins of yours." Shin-chan/Sasami suggested. Ranma-chan shrugged. "Like anyone pays attention to stuff like that." Ranma-chan replied. "Pig-tailed girl!" Kuno cried as he raced in. Kuno promptly stopped. "What is this? Three of my goddesses?" Kuno asked. "Their cousins of mine." Ranma-chan told him. "I would give my love to you and Akane alone, but I cannot allow such beauty to be defiled by that sorceror Ranma Saotome. Therefore, I shall date with all of you!" Kuno said. Kuno didn't notice Shin-chan/Sasami's blazing aura, the fact that she had pulled her bo and was currently preparing to smash his skull in. "Come to me, my loves!" Kuno cried, lunging forward with his arms wide. Shin-chan/Sasami's bo smashed into Kuno's forehead and sent him into the wall surrounding the dojo. Shin-chan followed, her eyes blazing. She grabbed Kuno and with a jab to his nose (which broke under the first hit despite the fact that it wasn't hit), sent him flying. "COME BACK AND I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Shin-chan screamed. Kuno vanished and became a star in the night sky. Ranma-chan and Ranko walked out to her. "Yo, what's up....Sasami?" Ranma-chan asked as Nodoka walked out. "What's going on?" Nodoka asked. Shin-chan/Sasami noticed Nodoka had come out to see what the commotion was. "Nothing." Shin-chan/Sasami replied. She walked to the dojo. "I have a feeling that it's not nothing." Ranko/Ayeka commented. Nodoka watched Shin-chan/Sasami's departure worriedly. "What happened?" Nodoka asked. "Uh, a boy that she doesn't like came in and asked her to date him. She didn't take it well." Ranma-chan replied. "From that screaming, I'd think she hated him to the core." Ranko/Ayeka muttered. Ranma-chan nodded in agreement. "I'll go see what's up. You go help m...auntie in the kitchen." Ranko/Ayeka told Ranma-chan. "Okay." Ranma-chan replied, walking inside as Ranko/Ayeka walked to see what was going on. ============================================================ We see Ryoga standing at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, trying to feed a dollar bill into a Pepsi machine. The song "Lonely Boy" is playing in the background. He tries, it refuses. He tries, it refuses. Finally, the machine takes the bill. "Yes. Yes! YES!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryoga cries. As he is about to make his selection, the machine refuses the bill. Ryoga is evidently pissed and slams his fist into the machine and pulls out a Pepsi. He opens it and drinks. (The preceeding was a commercial. Technical mumbo-jumbo blah-blah-blah and some important stuff.) ============================================================ Ranko found Shin-chan next to the dojo, swinging her bo in a vicious attack pattern (see also Ranma 1/2 the first movie, Ebitan's attacks on Ranma) on a practice dummy. "Uh.....Shin?" Ranko asked. Shin-chan stopped her brutal assualt. The dummy promptly disentegrated. Ranko just had to wonder how long and how many blows Shin-chan had delivered to get that affect. "What?" Shin-chan asked. "What did Kuno do?" Ranko asked. "Nothing, really. It's just that, in my world, he's chasing four women. Me, Akane and two other people I know. Just wish I could remember they're names. Anyway, I HATE perverts and lechs. I REALLY hate them." Shin-chan said. (Shin's qualifications for lechs and perverts: Grabbing or attempting to grab women, stealing or attempting to steal female undergarments, peeping or attempting to peep on women, chasing more than one woman. The more you qualify for, the more vicious Shin gets towards you. Kuno technically qualifies for two, so guess how he'll react to someone who qualifies for more.) "From what you did to Kuno, I'd have to say that you really must hate them." Ranko replied. "I just kinda snap when I see 'em. I just can't stand them." Shin-chan replied. "Anyway, I think dinner's almost done, so let's go eat." Ranko replied. Shin-chan nodded and followed Ranko. "I'm glad we finally found you, sis." Shin-chan/Sasami said, hugging Ranma-chan. "So am I." Ranko/Ayeka chirped. "How long has it been?" Nodoka asked. "Five years." Shin-chan/Sasami replied. Nodoka sighed. "What's wrong?" Ranko/Ayeka asked. "I know how you feel. I haven't seen my son, Ranma, in over ten years." Nodoka answered. She sniffed. "Excuse me, I've got something in my eye." Nodoka said. Her voice cracked and she hurried out of the room. Shin-chan/Sasami watched Nodoka exit. "That's all's I's can stand, and I can't stand's no more." Shin-chan declared, imitating Popeye. She walked out of the room, leaving everyone confused. She walked up to Nodoka's room and knocked. When Nodoka didn't reply, Shin-chan walked in. "Auntie?" Shin-chan asked. Nodoka was crying quietly, her face in her hands. Shin-chan walked over to her and hugged her. "Auntie, can I ask you something?" Shin-chan asked. Nodoka's crying slowed and after putting her hands on her lap, she nodded. "If you could see Ranma right now, would you accept him, even if something horrible had happened to him?" Shin-chan asked. "Yes, but why do you ask?" Nodoka asked. "Stay right here." Shin-chan replied, racing out of the room. Nodoka was baffled. She heard yelps, a cry of protest, and running feet. Finally, Shin-chan walked into the room carrying Ranma-chan by the scruff of her neck. "No more hiding." Shin-chan told her. Shin-chan poured hot water on Ranma-chan's head and dropped a very angry Ranma on his rearend. "Auntie, may I present your long lost son, Ranma." Shin-chan said. Nodoka looked at Ranma in disbelief. Ranma, suddenly realizing Nodoka was in front of him, remained where he was in a state of total fear. Shin-chan walked outside, grabbing Mr. Panda and dragged him into the room. "And your long lost husband, Genma." Shin-chan said, pouring the rest of the hot water on Mr. Panda's head. Genma was frozen in place, fearful of his wife. "I'll leave the family reunion in your hands, Auntie." Shin-chan said, walking out. The instant Shin-chan was out the door, she slapped on a triple dead-bolt lock on the door and raced outside, in case Genma or Ranma tried to get out that way. Shin-chan, even being a distance away from the window, could hear in perfect clairity, "GENMA, OUR SON TURNS INTO A GIRL!!!!!! EXPLAIN NOW!!!!!!!!" Hours later, Shin sat whittling a piece of wood. "Hey, listen. I think it's over." Ranko said. "You're right." Shin replied. Shin walked outside. Ranko and the Tendos heard scuffling, running feet, and finally two yelps. Shin walked back in, carrying Ranma and Genma. He walked upstairs, opened the door to Nodoka's room and tossed the two in. "Auntie, they tried to escape." Shin yelled into the room. He promptly shut the door, dead-bolted it again and walked downstairs to the sounds of extreme violence and screams of "So, you thought you'd take off again, eh? OH NO! YOU'RE STAYING PUT!!!!" "Don't you think that's cruel?" Akane asked Shin. "No crueler then leaving your wife behind for ten years without even a visit home and not telling her when something like a curse has been put on your only son." Shin replied. Shin suddenly recalled something and smacked his forehead. "I should have remembered, d'oh." Shin said. "Remembered what?" Nabiki asked. "I keep a detailed diary in my personal laptop in case I do get amnesia." Shin said, pulling out a laptop. Everyone facefaulted. Two hours later, the violence stopped. Shin walked outside. After some scuffling, sounds of feet running and two yelps, Shin walked back in. "I thought you'd bring Ranma and Genma back in." Akane said. "Why? I just put in a juiced up version of that invisible fence that keeps dogs in your yard in and gave Ranma and Genma the invincible juiced up collars. If they try to leave, a four gigawatt (per second) shock is waiting for them." Shin said, smiling deviously. Ranma and Genma screamed. "When are you going to take them off?" Ranko asked. "Genma, maybe never. Ranma, only for school or until he realizes that he can't hide from me or his mother." Shin replied. Ranma and Genma screamed again. Shin whistled the theme from 'Gilligan's Island'. Ranma and Genma screamed yet again. ============================================================ -"That's it! No more using my butt as target practice!!"- Sailor Moon, a more memorable scene. ============================================================ Everyone thanked the gods that it was Sunday. After a few hour explaination to Nodoka, Ranma was forgiven for not telling his mother. Genma, on the other hand...... Well, let's just say that he survived the encounter.... barely. It was a longer explaination for Nodoka to understand Ranko and Shin. They started at 10:00 am. It is currently 1:00 pm. The explaination for Ranma started at 7:00 pm and lasted until 8:00 pm, however the violence following the explaination lasted until 3:00 am. "I can't believe it." Nodoka said, amazed. "It's true." Shin said. "You didn't take a breath the entire time." Nodoka replied. Shin facefaulted. "And I can't believe that you're from another dimension." Nodoka added. Shin sighed. "So, you're my son, but not MY son." Nodoka said. "Yeah." Shin replied. "And you're my daughter, but not MY daughter." Nodoka said. "Yeah." Ranko replied. "Have you found out what to do to get back to your dimension?" Soun asked. "I'm pretty sure all we really need is the Nanban mirror. With that, we could return a few seconds after we left." Shin said. "It's that simple?" Ranma asked. "Not really. I searched master Happosai's room earlier this morning and I couldn't find it. I believe he may be carrying it." Shin said. "Aw, man. There's no way we can get it from that old goat. Besides, where are we going to find him?" Ranma asked. Shin was suddenly covered in water. "Ah, Ranma!" Happosai yelled, leaping at Shin-chan. With a swift gesture, Shin-chan sent Happosai into orbit. "That was a smooth move." Ranma said, sarcastically. "It was." Shin-chan said, holding up the Nanban mirror. "Hello, future son-in-law." Cologne said, walking into the room followed by the scientist from earlier. "What do you want?" Ranma asked. "That's them, alright." the scientist said. "This is Dr. Benjamin Kilok." Cologne said, gesturing to the scientist who was no older than twenty (and handsome to boot). "I must apologize as this is all my fault. I am responsible for bringing you two here. I started an experiment to aid the environment and wound up accidently taking you from your homes. I am terribly sorry and I ask for your forgiveness." Benjamin replied. "How could your experiment aid the environment?" Ranko asked. "My thoery is that by going through time, I could take a plant, mineral or animal, copy it, put one back and bring the other one here and if necessary, continue to copy the object or animal. By doing this, we could repopulate endangered species that does not have the ability to create different enough offspring. One example is the cheetah. The DNA patterns of one cheetah is similar to all other cheetahs because they were struck by plaques, hunters, etc. which forced inbreeding and thus reducing the possibilty of producing offspring with different enough DNA. By taking a cheetah from before that time, I had hoped to break the inbred chain and thus save the species from having a single DNA pattern. This thoery could work to help accurately learn of history, test thoeries on extinct species and possible lead to advancements in technology that were not thought possible. However, my equipment did not go through time, like I had intended, it instead went through dimensions and though this too is an advancement in technology, it was not intended as such and it will take years before I learn what is wrong." Benjamin said, overly explaining the situation entirely too much. "I left my Lucky Charms Special-Scientist-Babble decoder ring in my home dimension, so what did he say?" Ranko asked. "Basically, he made two of both of us and sent them home, while we are stuck here." Shin replied. "We're stuck here for all time?" Ranko asked. "No. It's just that we're already home, so we don't need to go back.....unless we wanted to." Shin replied. Shin and Ranko looked at each other and walked outside to the dojo. "Should we?" Shin asked. "I.....don't know. I mean......you know." Ranko said. "It is our home." Shin replied. "But technically we're already home...so....why?" Ranko asked. "It is OUR home." Shin replied. "But it's theirs too." Ranko said. "It's OUR HOME." Shin replied. "Are you eager to go back to that world, when you have a family here?" Ranko asked. "I.....don't know anymore." Shin replied. Shin sighed. "I wanted to go home AND be here to help you...but..... I'm so confused! I had nearly perfect bliss back home...and now...now everything's messed up. I'm a stranger to people who once knew me so well, I could ask for their help at any time and get it...and now...nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know who they are and I know who you are, but they don't know me. You don't know me." Shin said. Ranko put her hand on his shoulder. "I do know that you're my brother and that means the world to me. Besides, it's a new beginning. A new challenge. Another time around." Ranko said. Shin smiled and hugged his sister. "Thanks." Shin said. "Hey, that's what family does." Ranko replied. "Yeah, that's what family does." Ranma said. Shin and Ranko turned to him. "That doesn't mean I'm forgiving you for putting this stupid collar on me or telling my mom about my curse, but EVENTUALLY, I will." Ranma said. "Oh, come on, Ranma. You know you're happier now, your mom's happier now and your dad....well, he's still alive." Shin said. "True." Ranma replied. "RANMA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!" Ryoga yelled, attacking Ranma. "I don't think so, pig-boy." Ranma replied. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Ranma darling!" Kodachi called. All three Saotome siblings shivered. "You think that's bad, try hearing it from Ryoga." Ranko commented. All three Saotome siblings shivered again at the thought. "At least you two don't have the theme from 'Annie' stuck in your heads." Shin said. All three Saotome siblings shivered again at the thought. Meanwhile, on the moon, Lord Zedd yelled in fury. "When I conquer Earth, the very first thing I'll do is destroy every copy of 'Annie'." Zedd said. "Why is that, Lord Zedd?" Goldar asked. "If you'd ever watched the movie, you'd understand." Zedd replied. Meanwhile, in the Negaverse, Queen Beryl yelled in fury. "When I conquer Earth, the very first thing I'll do is destroy every copy of 'Annie'. The second thing I'll do is clamp that Kuno girl's mouth shut." Beryl said. Kodachi's laughter rang out, causing even the deaf warlords and the stupid warlords to shiver. Jedeite, even though he was frozen solid (and he was the stupidiest), shivered as well. Before Kodachi could glomp onto Ranma, Shin poked her lightly, causing her to fly all the way back to the Kuno mansion. "Hey, there's something you don't see everyday." Man #1 said. "What's that?" Man #2 replied. "A flying idiot." Man #1 said. "You haven't been in Nerima long, have you?" Man #2 asked. "I got here yesterday." Man #1 answered. "That explains it." Man #2 replied. "It's a bird!" Man #3 said. "It's a plane!" Woman #1 said. "It's just a sadistic, psychopathic gymnast with evil and satanic tendencies." Man #4 said. "No, she's over there." Man #3 said, pointing at Azusa Shirotori. "No, she's a sadistic, psychopathic SKATER with evil and satanic tendencies." Man #4 replied. Kodachi sneezed and had the overwhelming urge to do something. Man #4 yelped as a club struck him in the forehead. (It was an OVERWHELMING urge.) "Anyway, Ranma, die!" Ryoga yelled, running Ranma. Ranko leaped out and tackled Ryoga. "Oh, come to me, my love!" Ranko cried. Ryoga was confused. "Ranko, is Ryoga your chosen one?" Shin asked. "Yes, brother!" Ranko cried. "Very well. CALL THE PRIEST, RANKO'S GETTING HITCHED AGAIN!!!" Shin yelled. Ryoga, hearing that and feeling Ranko pinch his rearend, promptly screamed like a woman and ran for the hills. "JUST KIDDING! RYOGA, I SAID 'JUST KIDDING'. Oh, well. Ryoga never could tell when I was kidding, even when I had an evil smirk on." Shin said. "He's fallen for lamer jokes than that." Ranma commented as he help Ranko to her feet. "I lost the man of my dreams." Ranko said. She began to pretend to cry (VERY poorly, mind you). "Want to mess with someone's head?" Shin asked. Ranko stopped faking and said, "Sure! Let's get Shampoo." "I think we all want to do that." Ranma said. "I've been wanting to pay her back for a trick she pulled on me." Shin said, smirking. The trio began to imitate the diabolical laughter that is the standard for villians. "Wait, let's wait until she pulls something." Ranma suggested. "Even sweeter." Shin said, smiling evilly. The trio picked up where they left off on the diabolical laughter. "Wanna catch a movie?" Ranko asked. "Sure." Shin and Ranma replied. They continued the diabolical laughter as they left. Meanwhile, on the moon, Lord Zedd watched the trio. "Goldar!" Lord Zedd yelled. "Yes, Lord Zedd?" Goldar asked. "I want you to go down there and tape those three laughing. I'm a tad rusty on my laugh and they sound excellent." Lord Zedd told Goldar. "It shall be done." Goldar replied. Meanwhile, in the Negaverse, Beryl watched the three. "I don't like how they're laughing. Malakite!" Beryl yelled. "Yes, my queen?" Malakite asked. "I want you to watch those three. They may have stumbled upon something that may be turned to our favor." Beryl said. "It shall be done." Malakite replied. ============================================================ -"Alright, who ate the Eggo waffle box and left the Eggo waffles out?"- A-kun, this morning. ============================================================ Luckily for Goldar, the trio continued their diabolical laughter until they reached the theater. Goldar left. Malakite watched the three walk into the theater after buying their tickets. They were still laughing. Malakite was about to walk in, when the ticket taker stopped him. The ticket taker was about sixteen and his nametag read "Kevin". "Listen, Kevin. I don't have time for this." Malakite said. "Yeah, sure, right. Get a ticket." Kevin said, rolling his eyes. "Very well, fool! You shall learn of the power of the Negaverse!!" Malakite yelled, extending his hands to blast Kevin. Kevin dashed behind him, grabbed the top of Malakite's underwear and pulled up. "Wedgie!" Kevin yelled. Malakite yelped. He tried to blast Kevin, but somehow the wedgie was making him powerless. Kevin carried Malakite to the box office by the wedgie and set Malakite down in front of the clerk. Malakite paid for his ticket with the gold he had on hand and Kevin let him through. Malakite then tried to enter the same theater that the trio had, but Kevin stopped him. "Sorry, you bought a ticket for 'Teacup for Two'. That's over there." Kevin said pointing to the theater next door. Malakite was about to protest when Kevin cracked his knuckles and smiled in a way that said "Just try it". Malakite walked into the theater that Kevin had pointed to. The trio stopped laughing when they entered the theater. "Dang, forgot the goodies." Shin said. "Get a bucket of popcorn and three sodas. Dr. Pepper or Coke." Ranko said. "Same here." Ranma said. "Look, I'm not getting nine sodas and three buckets of popcorn." Shin said. "I didn't mean that..." Ranma began. "I'm teasing, Ranma." Shin replied. Malakite, after four failed attempts to get into the same theater as the trio and seven failed attempts to pull the wedgie out so he could access his power, decided to watch the movie, but quickly decided it was more fun to watch the people in the theater as a semi-bald man decked out a rude man behind him. A strange boy kept moving around and asking for dates, only to get punched across the theater. His name was apparently "Bud". A strange girl kept walking around and talking to random people. Her name was apparently "Kelly". "That's it. I'm going to get some more popcorn and complain to the manager. This movie doesn't have enough hooters in it." the semi-bald man said. "Get me a soda, okay, Al?" a redhaired woman near the front said. "Okay, Peg." Al replied. A while later, Al yelled "Peg?" "Al?" Peg asked. "Peg!" Al replied. "Al! You're in the wrong theater again!" Peg yelled. "Wait a minute, Peg. I think I'm seeing hooters. I am seeing hooters, Peg!" Al yelled. All the men in the theater, including Malakite, stood up and left to find that theater. They could see the ship laying in the Rocky mountains. "See? I told you I would give you fireworks." the black man on the screen said. The screen faded to black. "Man, Independence Day 4 is an awesome movie!" Ranma said. "Yeah, but I've heard Will Smith's real voice and I think that whoever dubbed him sucked." Shin replied. They left the theater. Meanwhile, on the moon, Lord Zedd laughed. Then stopped, then laughed again. "I must get it down." Lord Zedd said, as he tried to imitate the laugh. Meanwhile, in the Negaverse, Queen Beryl looked at Malakite. "You were supposed to keep an eye on them." Queen Beryl said. "I am sorry, Queen Beryl. They must have trained a bouncer in as their ticket taker at that theater. He somehow knew a way to nullify my powers and defeated me. However, I have learned that certain humans can prove useful." Malakite replied. "No excuses. Next time I give you an order, I want you to succeed or else." Beryl snapped. "Yes, Queen Beryl." Malakite replied. Malakite appeared in his room and smiled. "Whoever made that movie was brilliant. Tons of violence and nudity and absolutely no plot line." Malakite said. Tears of joy ran down his face. "I must meet the man who directed it!" Malakite declared. "I still say we should have prepared for the possibility that they were going to attack. I mean, I know they might have wanted to talk directly with the leaders of the world, but come on. The instant we knew they were going for New York, we should have expected something." Shin said. Ranko and Ranma nodded in agreement. They stopped in front of the Ucchan. "I say we show her. I mean, she has been our oldest friend." Shin said. "I agree." Ranma said. "She was nice." Ranko added. They walked in and prepared to explain to Ukyo. ============================================================ -"We're telling you, he just sat down when we looked away for a second and he was gone when we turned around!"- the officers who arrested Waldo for peeping. ============================================================ Kuno sat and thought. "How to save all four of my loves from that fiend Saotome?" Kuno muttered. Kuno tried to use his brain, but he didn't know it had decomposed due to lack of use. That might explain a few things. Kodachi sat and thought. "How to save my beloved from the wretched Tendo girl?" Kodachi muttered. Kodachi tried to use her brain, but due to the fact that she had tried to poison it when it tried to point out to her that Ranma might not like her, it refused to help her. That might explain a few things. Ukyo had shooed out the customers earlier and she would probably be happy with the decision if she realized how silly her face looked with a dropped jaw and bugged-out eyes. "You're kidding." Ukyo said, regaining her composure. "Nope." Shin said. "Sorry." Ranma said. "No kids around here, so we can't be." Ranko said. Shin, Ranma and Ukyo gave her a strange look. "An old joke." Ranko said. The three groaned at the lame pun. "Anyway, I can't believe it. Three Ranmas." Ukyo said in disbelief. "Not Ranmas, remember? I'm Shin, that's Ranko and this is Ranma. There's only one Ranma....for now anyway." Shin told her. "Oh, right." Ukyo replied. Ukyo shook her head. "You guys should watch out. Cologne'll try to get all of you to marry Shampoo." Ukyo told them. "Don't worry. With the Nanban, we can arrive at school and get home without her ever knowing where we are...well, until we pull a prank on her. Besides, amazons can only marry the men who bested them, any family is off limits. However, I have no doubt Cologne would give up on having THREE strong fighters marrying her granddaughter." Shin said. "Yeah, the old ghoul would probably try something like that." Ranma added. "No doubt in my mind." Ranko included. "Anyway, guys. We'd better get going or we'll miss dinner." Shin said, standing up. "Jeez, these explainations take a long time." Ranko commented. "No kidding." Ranma said. The next day, we see Ranma and Akane racing across the same bridge they always do. "Come on, Ranma, or we're going to be late." Akane said. "I know." Ranma replied. Shampoo raced up on her bike. "Ranma!" Shampoo cried, tackling Ranma to the ground. Akane was about to say something, when Shin and Ranko-kun appeared. "Shampoo, why are you grabbing Ranko?" Shin asked. "Huh?" Shampoo asked, looking at Shin and Ranko-kun. "That's Ranko. Didn't Cologne tell you about us?" Shin asked. "Oh, great-grandmother say to 'watch out for identical Ranma imposter'. What that mean?" Shampoo asked. "It means you should make sure that you grab Ranma, not his family members." Ranko-kun replied. "So who Ranma?" Shampoo asked, letting go of Ranma. "We're late, so I'm outta here!" Shin said, dashing off. "Same here!" Ranko-kun said, following. "I'm gone!" Ranma said, racing behind them. "I haven't got time for this." Akane said, continuing after them. Shampoo was left behind, severely confused. "Say, guys. I thought you were going to wait until she pulled something." Ranma said. "We were, but I remembered an old movie I saw called 'Gaslight'. It's about two guys who play with a young woman's mind by pretending to live the other one's life and she eventually goes insane." Ranko-kun replied. "I figured we can just confuse her for a while and stop it before she goes too far." Shin replied. It slowly began to rain. Shin-chan and Ranma-chan sighed. Ranko-kun pulled an umbrella out, opened it, pulled out a thermos and changed back to his normal form. "Anyway, my version of it will confuse Shampoo between you two by having Ranko put her ponytail into a pigtail." Shin-chan continued. Ranko pulled out a string and changed her ponytail into a pigtail. "See, I'm you." Ranko said, smiling. "Well, a little taller and more mature, but about the same." Shin-chan pointed out. "Say, I've been wondering about that. Why are you two taller than me?" Ranma asked. "Well, the spring of drowned man was sixteen, and because she is a female version of us, that's why Ranko looks like us in male form and since she was cursed earlier this year, it makes sense that she looks like us. But, it's eerie that the spring of drowned man in her world is like that. Anyway, about me, I have to know when you were cursed." Shin-chan said. "Earlier this year like Ranko." Ranma-chan replied. "That would explain it. See, I've been cursed since I was eleven." Shin-chan replied. "Ouch." Ranma-chan commented. "Anyway, the spring of drowned girl was roughly fourteen, and since the cursed forms grow at about the same rate as we would at the same age in female form..." Shin-chan said, letting the sentence hang. "You mean that this is what I would look like if I was a girl at fourteen?" Ranma-chan asked. "About." Ranko replied. "And as I was cursed at eleven, this is what I would look like if I was nineteen and a girl." Shin-chan finished. "But, you two wouldn't believe what it feels like growing TWO bodies." Shin-chan said. "What do you mean?" Ranma-chan asked. "When I said the cursed form age like we do, I meant it also matures and grows, so you'll be growing as a female as well." Shin-chan told Ranma-chan. "I'VE GOTTA GO THROUGH PUBERTY AS A GIRL?!?!?!" Ranma-chan asked/bellowed. The four were in the courtyard. All the students turned to them. "Quiet. And yes. At least you didn't have to go through it as both a boy and a girl at once." Shin-chan replied. "Greeeeeeaaaaaaat." Ranma-chan said sarcastically. "Pigtailed girl! Bo-wielding girl! Ponytailed girl! Akane Tendo!" Kuno cried, sounding unusually anal as his nose was bandaged. The four groaned and turned to meet Kuno. Shin-chan was already building a quite visible battle aura. As Kuno neared, Shin-chan, moving at an inhuman speed, shot forward, slammed her fist into Kuno's gut two hundred and fifteen times and returned to the spot she had been in only three seconds ago. Kuno collapsed as the entire present student body cheered the display. Shin-chan shook her head as though dazed. "I have got to get rid of that automatic response." Shin-chan commented. "Actually, could you teach that to us?" Akane, Ranma-chan and Ranko asked in unison. "We'd better get inside or we'll be tardy." Shin-chan replied. "Can you?" Ranma-chan asked. "Can you, please?" Ranko asked. "Pretty please?" Akane asked. The three girls had initiated full cute mode, one of many of the standard female defenses/attacks developed to melt any male's defenses. Basically, they all have the big starry eyes which are standard for women when they're REALLY, REALLY, REALLY happy or they REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want something. "Alright, just stop doing that! God, nearly overwhelmed my eyes with all that cuteness. Brrrrrr!" Shin-chan replied, shuddering. No person should be victim to three full cute modes. The four walked into school. ============================================================ -"You lazy @#$%^$-@%%^#^& no good *$&#-*&$#%@%!!! And he's the brother I like!"- Tim Taylor's words with a profane twist. ============================================================ "Class, this is Shin Saotome and Ranko Saotome. They're cousins of Ranma's and they'll be attending school here." Ms. Hinako said, gesturing to Shin and Ranko. "Ranko can sit next to me!" one boy cried. "Joe Hagashi, you just got detention." Ms. Hinako told him. Joe groaned. "Next time wait for her to ask." Terri Bogard replied in a whisper, next to Joe. "Yeah." Andy Bogard added. Andy promptly received an elbow to the gut by the VERY beautiful woman next to him. "Sorry, Mai." Andy whispered. "You should be." Mai replied. (If you don't have the Fatal Fury movies, I suggest you get them. Stop reading this FanFic now and get them. That's right. For those who have the movies, you may be asking why they are in school. If you are, then re-read the intro to this Fanfic and if you still don't get it, then you have my apologies.) Ranko did wind up sitting next to Joe. Shin wound up between Hiroshi and Daisuke (the two idiots who were listening at the door when Ranma and Ms. Hinako were talking in that private room in "Like Water For Ranma". Also featured at the beginning of the Martial Arts Skating Competition.) The instant the class ended, the girls crowded around Shin and the boys crowded around Ranko. "Are you REALLY related to Ranma?" "I can't believe that Ranma never talked about you." "I'm telling you it's my kidney you're trying to eat!" "Eeeeewwww! Who put these frog intestines in my bookbag again?" "It's Masked Rider!" "Bwahahahahaha! With this magic kidney stone, I can rule the world!" Everyone stopped and looked at Hiroshi who had apparently just made that last comment. Hiroshi stepped aside to reveal M. Bison (I hear he's also known as Vega elsewhere). "Forget I said anything." M. Bison said. Guile and Chun Li burst into the room, tackled M. Bison and jumped out the window and out of this FanFic. Sweat drops appeared behind everyone's head. Shin and Ranko took this oppurtunity to race out of the classroom. The now combined crowd started moving towards Ranma and Akane, who also raced out of the room. ============================================================ -"The normal laws of physics do not apply."- A-kun, when talking about his bathroom. ============================================================ "Aw, jeez. They weren't this bad before!" Shin whined. "I don't think they were all that bad." Ranko replied. "Oh, come on. These Alegebra questions are more like Trig." Shin replied. "I was talking about the people in our classroom." Ranko replied. "Oh. You know something, I don't think we've had math class yet." Shin said. "Your point being?" Ranko asked. "Why do we have math books and why do they say Quantum Physics?" Shin asked. "I don't know." Ranko replied, looking at the book Shin was holding. She looked at the book she was reading. "The BIBLE? Eeeeewww!" Ranko said, dropping the book as though it were covered in bird droppings and crawling with maggots. (Pleasant imagery, huh?) "So, are you doing anything tonight, Shin?" a girl asked. "Are you doing anything, Ranko?" a boy asked. "Are either of you doing anything?" Odo asked. "Have any of you seen this boy?" the T-1000 asked, showing them a picture of Ryoga. The five of them screamed and ran for daylight. [What is it about this form that scares the hell out of people?] the T-1000 wondered. ============================================================ -"In space, loud sounds (Example: Explosions), are even louder as there is no air, buildings, people, etc. to get in the way."- A-chan with a realistic thought. ============================================================ After school, Ranma, Akane, Ranko, Ukyo and Shin walked home. Ryoga came walking down the street, obviously lost again. "Ryoga darling!" Ranko cried, lunging at Ryoga. Ryoga screamed like a woman and was about to run away when Ranko tackled him. "Ranko, if Ryoga wants to scream like a woman and run faster than a Guyver for the hills, that's his right. But, Ryoga, you should know that we were kidding yesterday." Shin said. "You were?" Ryoga asked, after he heard that and stopped screaming. "Yeah." Ranko said, standing up. "Ranko, let go of Ryoga." Shin said. Ranko let go of Ryoga. Ryoga fell butt first onto the pavement. "Ow." Ryoga commented. [All right! Ryoga DOES have a weak spot!] Ranma thought. "Ryoga, are you all right?" Akane asked, checking Ryoga. As Akane's shirt was tight (Hey, it's a hot day and it's humid.), Ryoga got a nosebleed. "Well, he still has that habit." Shin commented. "He does that in your world too?" Ranko asked. "Yep, you know, even though he's in love with Nabiki, he reacts that way to any girl, much to Nabiki's annoyance." Shin replied. Akane had finished treating Ryoga's nosebleed. "So, Ranma. Who are they?" Ryoga asked, gesturing to Shin and Ranko. "It'll take a while to explain." Ranma replied. ============================================================ -"In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity."- A-chan with her first hentai thought. ============================================================ Back at the Bat dojo, d'oh! I mean, back at the Tendo dojo, Ryoga's eyes were wide as Shin finished explaining. "Wow." Ryoga said. "Yeah." Shin replied. "You didn't take a breath during that entire time." Ryoga said. Shin facefaulted. "Oh, and you're really good at telling that story." Ryoga replied. "I know, I've had a LOT of practice." Shin replied. "So, uh...Ranko, what's it like in your world?" Ryoga asked. "It's lame." Ranko replied. "Okaaaaaaay, what's it like in your world compared to ours, Shin?" Ryoga asked. "It's oversexed." Shin replied. Everyone (Everyone being Akane, Ukyo, Ranma, Ranko, Nodoka, Nabiki, Ryoga, Kasumi, Genma and Soun) gave Shin an odd look. "What? I'm just being honest. In my world, people are more willing to have sex than fight. It's a wonder I managed to become a master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts." Shin replied. (I assume that there are other masters of the art other than Happosai.) "YOU'RE A MASTER?!?!?!?" Everyone asked in unison. "Yeah. Didn't I tell you?" Shin asked. "So, the old goat died?" Ranma asked. "No. In my world, he ain't so bad. I mean, he still does a occasional perverted thing, but he's REALLY restrained compared to the Happosai of this world. Anyway, he trained me through what he knew and sent me to improve my skills about five months before I came here. I think I did a good job." Shin said. "Hey, could you train me?" Ranma asked. "And me?" Ranko added. "I'd like to improve my skills." Akane commented. "I'm a little rusty." Ukyo said. "Can I come along?" Ryoga asked. "Whoa. I can train you, but first we need their permission." Shin said, gesturing to Nodoka, Genma and Soun. "I will allow it." Soun said. "Fine with me." Genma chirped in. "Only if you promise me we'll spend a lot of time together as soon as you're done." Nodoka said. "We will, we will. And we'll come back for Christmas, regardless of how far we have to go." Shin replied. "Then, all right." Nodoka said, nodding. "Go pack." Shin told the five. "I'm always packed." Ryoga replied as everyone else raced off to prepare. "Then you don't have to." Shin replied. "What about you?" Nabiki asked. "Remember? I'm carrying everything I need." Shin replied. "What about the Dilithium crystals, capt'n?" Scotty asked. "We don't need any." Shin answered. "Oh, right." Scotty said. "What about my Blue Suede shoes?" Elvis asked. "You're wearing them." Shin replied. "It's a show about nothing." Seinfield said. Everyone still in the room gave Seinfield an odd look. "Wrong FanFic." Seinfield said, ducking out of sight and out of this FanFic. Scotty and Elvis left. ============================================================ -"The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest things known to human science."- Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second law of Anime Motion. From Laws Of Japanese Animation. ============================================================ "Darling!" Lum called. "Quack!" Mousse-duck replied. "Where?" Lum asked. Mousse-duck pointed to Ataru. "Thank you!" Lum said, diving down at Ataru. Mousse-duck quacked a reply. A day later, in the deep wilds of Japan... "Where on Earth am I now?!?!?" Ryoga yelled/asked. "Knock it off, Ryoga. We're still in Japan." Shin replied. "Oh, right." Ryoga replied. "Well, let's set up camp and I'll start training you." Shin said. A few minutes later... "Let's start." Shin said. (Quick note: during this time, Shin brought Ryoga to Jusenkyo and threw him into the spring of drowned girl.) (Author's note:I'm tired, so we're jumping ahead to three days before Christmas.) Shin and co. walked down the street with Ryoga leading them. "Hey, I'm impressed. You actually gave Ryoga a sense of direction." Ranma said. "Well, when you've done it once, you can do it again." Shin replied. "Uh oh. Looks like it's going to rain, you guys." Akane warned. Rain poured down before any of them could react. "We're in Nerima, alright." Shin-chan replied. Ryoga-chan, Ranma-chan, Ranko-kun, Akane, Ukyo and Shin-chan raced towards Tendo dojo. "Even in the dead of winter, it still manages to rain." Ranko-kun commented, obviously annoyed. The rain quickly turned to sleet and finally turned to snow. It stopped snowing and, magically, the sleet and snow vanished. The six reached the Tendo dojo without further incident. (A miracle since this IS Nerima.) "Hey, look everyone. They're back!" Nabiki said. Nodoka, Genma, Soun, Kasumi, and Nabiki raced out to greet them. Nodoka hugged each of her children, where as Genma merely gave each a hearty pat on the back. Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki hugged Akane. And as everyone was in a hugging mood, they all went around hugging each other. Ryoga-chan was pleasantly surprised as Akane hugged her. They even hugged Darth Vader. When Happosai showed up (it was inevitable), all of the martial artists gave him the longest, most brutal mauling of his life and they had a good laugh at his expense. (A VERY good laugh.) ============================================================ -"Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4."- A-kun, talking about weed and it's effect on reality. ============================================================ "A Christmas party?" Akane asked. "Yes. I've made out the invitations. You will help me pass them out, won't you?" Kasumi asked. The combined group nodded. Kasumi smiled. "Now, we must finish on training." Shin said. "Really?" Akane asked. "What do we have left?" Ukyo asked. "The Jackie Chan Film Festival. If you can stay awake through 31 hours of his films, your training is complete." Shin told them. "I thought there was only 28 hours of Jackie Chan in those film festivals." Ranma said. "No, as a bonus, they're adding his two latest films, Rumble In The Bronx and Supercop." Shin replied. The six cheered. It was the first hour of the Jackie Chan film festival. Shin, Ukyo, Benjamin Kilok, Nabiki, Ranko, Ryoga, Ranma and Akane, sitting in that order, were watching the screen. The T-1000 appeared next to Hiroshi and Daisuke (They were also there.) "Have you seen this girl?" The T-1000 asked, showing a picture of Akane sitting on a toilet with one hand covering herself and the other preparing to punch the cameraman. The two screamed like women and ran out of the theater. The T-1000 sighed and decided that the girl wasn't there. It left. "Hey, Shin." Ranko whispered. "What?" Shin asked. "How did you fix that sports car fixed?" Ranko asked. "I let a college repair it while we were gone." Shin hissed back. "Oh." Ranko replied. It was the fifteenth hour of the Jackie Chan film festival. Malakite was outside, and Kevin was refusing to let him in. "Look, I told you. The current Jackie Chan film festival is not the one you purchased your ticket for, so just settle down and don't make me hurt you." Kevin told Malakite. Malakite grumbled. Having been given another wedgie by Kevin, he was powerless. "Yuta, what are we doing here?" Mana asked. "I don't know." Yuta replied. [My plan to get rid of Lum in the dark has failed!] Ataru thought as Shin pointed Ataru out to Lum. Lum promptly blasted him and dragged him back to their seat. It was now the twenty-ninth hour of the Jackie Chan film festival. Shin, Ranma, Ranko and Benjamin seemed to be the most engrossed in the films. Ryoga, Ukyo and Akane were managing to keep awake and pay attention. Nabiki couldn't stay awake past the twenty-fourth and was currently slumped heavily againist Benjamin, who had gotten used to having her lean againist him. Finally, the film festival ended. As Nabiki was still deep asleep and refused to wake up, Benjamin picked her up and craddled her in his arms as they walked out and was looking quite heroic at it too. The T-1000 walked over to them. "Have you seen these people?" The T-1000 asked showing a picture of Hiroshi and Daisuke. They all screamed and ran away. "Damn. I wish people would stop doing that." The T-1000 said, walking away. ============================================================ -"Everything explodes. Everything."- A-chan with a very perverted thought. ============================================================ Kuno and Sasuke arrived at the front door of the dojo. Sasuke put Kuno's gift on the ground. "Master Kuno, isn't this a bit extravangant for a gift?" Sasuke asked. "The gift is seen not with the eye, but with the mind, good Sasuke. The size of the gift need but reflect the size of my heart." Kuno told his servant. "I wish his lordship would reflect himself into lending me a hand." Sasuke muttered. "What was that, Sasuke?" Kuno asked. "Just wondering if there's going to be a band." Sasuke replied. Black rose petals began floating by. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! There's not a gift in the world that can hold your iminence, brother dear." Kodachi said. "Mistress Kodachi!" Sasuke said, surprised. "Hoist with my own petard!" Kuno cried. Shampoo promptly crushed Kuno under her bike. Ukyo walked up, cheerfully as nothing had happened to her shop for the over three months she was gone. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Ukyo asked. "Don't you know the servants entrance is to the rear?" Kodachi asked. "I was invited same as you." Ukyo said, raising her personal invitation. "You? Invited to the same party as I?" Kodachi asked. "Shampoo not only one to get invitation?" Shampoo asked. "Shampoo, how could you just leave me behind? SHAMPOO!" Mousse cried as he raced by the three women and promptly slammed into a wall. "Oh, hello everyone. Come on in, you're a little early, but that's alright." Shin-chan said. "What you doing here?" Kodachi asked. [$&*T! Wait, she doesn't know me!] Shin-chan thought. "Oh, you must be Kodachi. My younger sister has told me so much about you. I hear that you're an excellent gymnast." Shin-chan replied. "What?" Kodachi asked. "You didn't know? My little sister likes you a lot, but I think you should stop attacking her." Shin-chan told Kodachi. Kodachi was confused. [Good! Maybe that'll keep her off Ranko, Ranma and me for now.] Shin-chan thought. "Regardless, let's go inside, shall we?" Shin-chan said, motioning the others to follow. Shin-chan pulled Ukyo to one side as she showed the other two girls to the women's waiting room. "Listen, Ukyo, Kasumi needs help in the kitchen. Akane, Nodoka and Ranko are helping, but she still would like your aid." Shin-chan told her. "Oh, alright." Ukyo said, heading downstairs. [At least I've negated a large time-bomb. I just hope Nabiki can handle those two.] Shin-chan thought. Meanwhile, in the men's waiting room... "So, this is the bedroom of Akane Tendo, eh?" Kuno asked no one in particular. "To be in such a sacred place sends shivers down my spine." Sasuke commented, standing up. He headed to a photo on Akane's wall. "Look, Master Kuno. A picture of your excellency." Sasuke said. "She must love me well." Kuno said, forcing Ryoga and Mousse to expend their willpower to keep from vomiting or laughing. They both knew THEY had better chances of getting together with Akane than Kuno did. In fact, Sasuke had better chances than Kuno. Even Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo had better chances than Kuno. And that WASN'T exaggerating. "Actually, Master Kuno, you're not the only one in the picture. In fact, I can barely make you out." Sasuke told Kuno. "Perhaps my signature will serve as a reminder of my visit here." Kuno said, pulling out a black marker. Ryoga knocked the marker out of Kuno's hand with his umbrella. "I'm not going to sit here while you desecrate Akane's room." Ryoga said. "And who are you to give orders to the great and noble Tatewaki Kuno? Very well then. Challenge and learn." Kuno said, drawing his bokken. "It seems words aren't enough." Ryoga said, standing up. "Calm down. It's very unseemly for guests to act like this...ow!" Mousse managed to say before Ryoga struck him across the face with his umbrella. "Stay out of this, duck-boy!" Ryoga snapped. He and Kuno began fighting. Ryoga was getting more hits in. "I've taken all I can stand...Ow!" Mousse said, before Kuno stepped on him. "Now look what you made me do!" Mousse yelled. "Huh?" Ryoga and Kuno asked. Mousse released a volley of weapons and leaped out of the window. Ranma and Shin-chan were carrying decorations past the patio when the trio jumped out of the window. Ryoga-chan, Mousse-duck and Kuno lay in the pond. Ryoga-chan marched out of the pond grumbling. "Ryoga, what have I told you about controlling your temper?" Shin-chan asked. Ryoga-chan blushed. "I'm sorry." Ryoga-chan said, bowing. "Look, since you're already out here, you can help us set up." Ranma told her. "Really?" Ryoga-chan asked, brightening. "Yeah, we could use the help." Shin-chan said. "Hey, Shin. Are you done?" Ranma asked, straightening the decorations he had put up. "Yep. The stage is already." Shin said, pointing to the completely set-up sound equipment, etc. "Done." Ryoga said. "Pretty good job, Ryoga." Shin said, looking at the tree. "Thanks." Ryoga replied. "Now, let's see if we can help Kasumi with anything." Shin said, as the trio walked to the house. "We are all out of soy sauce." Kasumi said. "I'll fetch it." Ryoga said. Kasumi took off her apron and picked up her shopping basket. "Shall we go now, Ryoga?" Kasumi asked. "Are you coming too, Kasumi?" Ryoga asked. "Yes, I may remember something I've forgotten to get." Kasumi replied. Later, behind a large curtain, Nabiki looked out at the crowd. "Looks like a full crowd." Nabiki commented. Ranko, Shampoo, Akane, and Kasumi looked at themselves once more before they nodded to Shin. The curtain opened to reveal the five women to the crowd. The music began. ----------------------------------------------------------- Akane: You never say what you feel. Love can't on with just one. All the girls: Sing out of my heart. I don't want to feel this loneliness. I want you back in my arms! All the girls: Darling, just for me can't I wait for you? Shampoo: In your heart, Shampoo make you feel so brand-new! All the girls: When you beckon, love comes at your call It's a love that's meant to be It's in the stars above Why not fall in love? Kasumi: Tonight, isn't it sweet? There by the beach a car, two lovers talking Nabiki: It's true! I saw it, too They held each other yet seemed far away Akane: Invisible barrier Something's come between, you know what I mean? All the girls: See the tears begin to flow... Fall in love All the girls: Darling, just for me can't I wait for you? Ranko: Say the words that make my heart swing on top of the trees All the girls: This is bigger than the both of us It's a love that's meant to be It's in the stars above Why not fall in love? ----------------------------------------------------------- The crowd cheered. "Hello, and welcome to the Tendo family Christmas party. I hope you all have a great time!" Nabiki announced. The night seemed to fly by. Cake was served and eaten. Ukyo and Akane tried to feed Ranma-chan. Ranko shoved a bowl down Kuno's throat after he tried to grab her. Guile, Chun Li and Darth Vader battled M. Bison and his lackeys. Tsubasa pretended to be the christmas tree. Kasumi swiped Azusa's little Jospehine Rose (a giant battle cruiser that Azusa took with her) and Azusa bawled until Nodoka shoved a wad of cotton balls (filled with sake) in her mouth which she promptly ate and shut up. Shows of talent entertained the gathered crowd. Sasuke dancing with straws up his nose. Kuno cutting watermelons at an incredible rate. Mousse and Shin-chan performing magic. Linlin and Ranran performing a dance. Shin making his bo glow like Darth Vader's blade. Shin, Ranko, Ranma, Nabiki, Ryoga, Kuno, Sasuke, Shampoo, Mousse, Akane, and Kodachi were playing cards with two decks of cards. Ryoga drew one card and thought of Akane. Kuno drew two cards and thought of Akane, Ranko, Ranma-chan, Ryoga-chan and Shin-chan. Sasuke drew two cards and thought of...well, I don't know. Mousse drew three cards and thought of Shampoo. Kodachi drew four cards and thought of Shin, Ranma, Ranko-kun, and (surprisingly) Ranma-chan. Nabiki drew a card and thought of her profit margin for the year. Shampoo drew two cards and thought of Ranma, Ranko and Shin and wondered who was who. Shin drew a card and thought of Ukyo. Ranko drew three cards and wondered what everyone else was thinking. Akane drew two cards and thought of Ranma. Ranma drew three cards and knew he had nothing. "I have one pair." Sasuke said, displaying his cards. "Two pair." Kuno said. "I have two pair as well." Ryoga said. Nabiki and Kodachi sighed as they too had two pair. "I have three of a kind." Ukyo said. "Full house." Mousse said. "Junk." Ranma and Ranko said in unison. "Three of a kind." Akane said. "I four kind." Shampoo said. "Ha. Royal straight flush." someone said. They turned to the Gambling King. "You all lose." He told them. "Nope. Five Aces." Shin said, diplaying his cards. Everyone turned to him. "We ARE playing two decks." Shin told them. Everyone groaned. ============================================================ -"Anything that explodes, bulges first"- A-chan with an even more perverted thought. ============================================================ "Now, as the invitation said, it's time to exchange presents. Ready? Now, let's..." Nabiki began. "Hold everything." Soun in a bad Santa Claus suit interupted. Genma in a bad reindeer costume walked out onto the stage carrying Soun/Santa. "Ha ha ha. My name is Santa Claus and I've just arrived from the north pole to bring gifts to good little boys and girls." Soun/Santa announced. "If he says his arms are tired, I'll hurt him." Shin told Ukyo. Ukyo giggled at the joke. Nodoka thought of all the nasty things she was going to do to Genma when this was over. "And the names of those two little children are..." Soun/Santa began. "Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo." Genma said. Sweat drops appeared behind everyone's head. "Come forward and accept your gifts, little ones." Soun/Santa said. [Santa's present is meant to last a lifetime. It's an engagement ring for Ranma to give to Akane.] Soun/Santa thought. [Ranma, my boy, with this many witnesses, you put the ring on her finger and there's no turning back. Trust me, son, father knows best.] Genma thought. Happosai began bouncing around the room with his sack filled. Shin immediately snatched the bag off Happosai's back and ki-blasted the old man out of the FanFic. A runaway horse smashed through a wall and stopped in front of Akane. A young man and a young woman were on the horse's back. "Merry Christmas to you, Akane Tendo, thanks for inviting me. Look what I've got. It's a very special gift." the young man on the horse's back said. (Sorry, I can't recall their names.) The box shook, then burst open to reveal an old woman. "Are we there, yet?" the old woman asked. "Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" the boy cried. "Thought you'd run off and leave your poor granny behind? I'm wise to your tricks. When we get back, I'll make you dance to the sound of my hickery stick!" the old woman told him. "I was bad, please forgive me." the boy pleaded. "Shampoo? Shampoo, where are you? Shampoo?" Mousse called. Akane looked around. [Ranma's gone and so is Ukyo. Oh, no! They wouldn't!] Akane thought, racing outside, past Ryoga, who was about to say something. Ryoga's hopes crashed. Shin watched Akane race out and looked around. He walked over to Ryoga. "Hey, don't give up. She's just occupied. She probably just forgot your gift inside." Shin told him. "You think so?" Ryoga asked. "Most likely." Shin replied. Shin walked outside, knowing it was a lie. "Now, just stay right here or I'll tell everyone you had to borrow money from me to buy Akane's present!" Nabiki told Ranma. "But that's not fair, Nabiki!" Ranma replied. "Life seldom is, Ranma." Nabiki said, climbing down the ladder. Later, Ukyo showed up. "Ranchan." Ukyo said. "Ukyo?" Ranma asked. Ukyo sat down next to him. "I can't believe we're finally alone." Ukyo commented. Ukyo noticed the gift at Ranma's side. "Is that a present for me? Oh, I'm so happy you thought of me." Ukyo said, smiling. "Actually, this for..." Ranma began. [Don't back down now, girl.] Ukyo thought. Shin saw Ukyo next to Ranma. With that, his heart shattered. He turned and walked inside. "Stop right there." Shampoo said. "I see the mice have been at play while Kodachi was away." Kodachi said. "Hey, this is my time with Ranma, get in line!" Ukyo said. "That present for Shampoo you no take from Ranma." Shampoo said, brandishing her bonbori. "People, people, no need to fight. There's plenty to go around." Nabiki said. "Aw, man. I'm outta here!" Ranma said, as he raced away. "Ranma!" the three girls cried as they followed. "Well, there goes the business. At least I got paid." Nabiki said to herself. Akane climbed onto the roof and saw the three girls chasing Ranma. Ranma noticed Akane was in his path and in the line of fire. "Get your fanny back here!" Ukyo yelled, throwing her mini spatulas. "Ranma no go!" Shampoo cried throwing her bonbori. "Ranma darling!" Kodachi said, snapping her ribbon at Ranma. "Akane, get out of the way!" Ranma said, picking up Akane. The attacks never even came close to the two as they were blocked by a ki-barrier. Shin-chan landed as Ranma and Akane crashed into a hole in the roof. "I can't let you follow them." Shin-chan told them, evenly. "Get out of Shampoo's wa-" Shampoo was cut short as she was sent flying back to the Nekohaten. "Insolent-" Kodachi was also cut off as she flew back to the Kuno Mansion. Ukyo stood dumbfounded. "Well?" Shin-chan asked. "Why are you doing this?" Ukyo asked. "Why are you still chasing Ranma?" Shin-chan asked. Ukyo looked at Shin-chan. Shin-chan tossed her a present and left without a word, though a stream of tears was visible. Ukyo looked at the gift and slowly opened it. A tiny velvet box was inside and inside of that was a beautiful ornate ring with a oriental dragon as the gold band and between it's claws and it's tail was a diamond. The note that was with the ring read, "Ukyo, I'm way too shy to ask you this in person, but will you marry me someday? Shin." Ukyo finished reading the note and burst into tears, holding the ring close to her, refusing to believe that she had been so inconsiderate to realize she had slipped back to her old habits of chasing Ranma. Shin-chan sat in the park crying as well. Ranma and Akane sat up from their awkward position. "Are you still mad?" Ranma asked. "Nope." Akane said. "Yes, you are." Ranma replied. "Here." Akane said, holding out a bag to Ranma. "What's this?" Ranma asked. "It's sort of a christmas present." Akane replied. Ranma opened it to reveal a yellow scarf. "Hey, this really nice. Has Ranko been helping you?" Ranma asked. "No. I made it myself." Akane replied. Ranma smiled and put it on. [I perfer red, but hey, it's the thought that counts.] Ranma thought. "Uh, here." Ranma said, holding out a box to Akane. Akane opened it. "It's a picture frame. That's the best photo I could find." Ranma said. The clear frame held a picture of Ranma, Ranko, Shin, Ukyo, Akane and Ryoga all jokingly flexing like body builders. "And you picked this one." Akane said, hugging the picture and frame. "Akane." Ranma said, putting his hands on her shoulders. Suddenly the wood beneath them creaked and broke sending the couple to the party below. "Ranma, how dare you!" Ryoga said. "To touch Akane Tendo in that manner..." Kuno said. "I'll just put this on your tab." Nabiki said, clicking off the lights. Ukyo was frantically searching all the places she thought Shin might have been. Finally, she came to the park. She saw Shin-chan curled up into a ball on a park bench. "Shin?" Ukyo asked. Shin-chan gave no indication of a response or acknowledgement. Ukyo sat down next to her. "I'm....sorry. I didn't think you cared about me like that. I...should have realized it earlier...but, I....." Ukyo let the sentence trail off. "But, you still love Ranma. I should have known. What could I ever be to you, other than a friend who's always there? I have about as much chance to get your heart as Ryoga has to get Akane's." Shin-chan said. "Ryoga still could..." Ukyo began. "Hardly. She's given her heart to Ranma, like you have. Goodbye, Ukyo." Shin-chan said, abruptly standing up and starting to walk away. "Shin...wait." Ukyo said, walking up next to her. Shin-chan stopped. "I do like you....isn't that a start?" Ukyo asked. "Like and love aren't the same. Can you love me?" Shin-chan asked. [I....don't know. If I say yes, I feel like I'll love him because he looks like Ranchan. If I say no....I feel like I'll lose everything that's important to me.] Ukyo thought. Shin-chan watched Ukyo's eyes. Mixed emotions flowed through them. [She cares about me, but is it love?] Shin-chan wondered. Shin-chan pulled out a thermos and changed back. Shin looked Ukyo square in the eye. [He's like Ranchan, but he's different in a lot of things. He makes me feel.....special. Like I'm the only light in his universe. His only reason to live. But, do I love him?] Ukyo wondered. A tiny voice replied, [Yes.] She grabbed Shin and kissed him. Shin's shattered heart reformed stronger than ever. He pulled her close to him and dreamed of a day that the kiss would never end. They broke the kiss and Ukyo pulled out the ring that Shin had given her. She put it on. "This won't official until our parents approve, you know." Ukyo said. "I know, but I don't care." Shin replied. Later that night, Kasumi and Ranko sat cleaning the mess left by the party. Kasumi lifted a small unopened present. It opened by itself and revealed a sparkling of light which disapated. "Kasumi, Ranko, come here quickly." Nodoka said. "What is it?" Ranko asked. "Come on or you'll miss this." Nodoka said, motioning them. They walked outside and onto the patio. They looked into the sky and saw the beautiful lights streaking down from the sky. Dr. Tofu, Shin, Ukyo, Akane, Ryoga, Benjamin, Nabiki, Genma, and Soun were already watching. Genma put his arm around Nodoka. Ranma hugged Akane close. Dr. Tofu stood next to Kasumi. Benjamin and Nabiki stood close together. Ryoga and Ranko blushed as they looked at each other and stood closer to each other. Shin hugged his new fiancee close as they watched the sky. They were in an embrace that neither of them wanted to break. They smiled at each other and kissed before returning their attention to the sky. ============================================================ -"We humans can only strive to be the best we can be, that is the best we can ever be or do. Even if someone thinks it's not enough, it is. But, in our unrealistic quest for perfection, we must not forget what is more important..." A-kun "A-kun, shut up and take off your boxers." A-chan "Last time I ever play strip poker with teams. How come you get to be with Loki and I'm with Bacchus?" A-kun- ============================================================ New year's eve, 11:59:00 pm... "I hear it's an american custom to kiss the one you love most at midnight." Shin said. 11:59:15 pm... "Really? That's sounds intresting." Ranko said. The gathered group in the Tendo living room consisted of Ranma, Akane, Shin, Ukyo, Ranko, Ryoga, Kasumi, Dr. Tofu (who, for once wasn't going crazy), Nodoka, Genma, Nabiki, and Benjamin Kilok. They had already finished the New year's eve preparations and were awaiting midnight. Soun had already gone to bed, having stayed up the previous night for some unknown reason. Benjamin had managed to send Happosai back to 4,000,000 B.C. using a reversed version of his earlier machine. Unfortunately for Happosai, (I'm assuming this.) Mt. Fuji was still active at the time and Benjamin just happened to send him right above it. Regardless, they all agreed to invite Benjamin over. Nabiki seemed to be intrested in Benjamin's altered time machine, but was disappointed when Benjamin told her he had accidently blown up another lab doing the Happosai experiment. (Not really, but it was better than causing possible time loops.) 11:59:30 pm... "I think I may have found a way to keep my lab from being destroyed each time." Benjamin said cheerfully. 11:59:45 pm... "How's that?" Ukyo asked, scooting closer to Shin. Akane moved closer to Ranma, Ranko moved closer to Ryoga, Nabiki moved closer to Benjamin, Nodoka moved closer to Genma and Kasumi moved closer to Dr. Tofu. "Move my lab away from the machine and make sure no forest fires can start." Benjamin replied. 11:59:55 pm... "Doctor?" Nabiki asked. "What?" Benjamin asked. 12:00:00 am... Akane kissed Ranma. Shin and Ukyo kissed. Ranko tackled Ryoga and kissed him. Nodoka surprised Genma by kissing him. Kasumi kissed Dr. Tofu. Nabiki kissed Benjamin. 12:30:00 am... The couples were still kissing. 1:00:00 am... The couples were still kissing. 9:00:00 am... The couples stopped kissing, smiled at their partner and resumed kissing. ------------------------------------------------------------ Ending theme song - "Let's Keep It Friends For Now (Platonic)" A-kun's attribute Here's the scene - an empty, romantic beach You and I are all alone Playful times as we ran holding hands It all goes still. Look that's in your eyes - it somehow scares me What is there for us to fear? In the skies...In the seas...In the waves So far away. Ah! Don't think I can stand this feeling Just the touch of your hand. Can't you see I still need some time Till I'm ready again? As you brush the sand away from my lips Touch me so tenderly We're so close I can see myself in your eyes Just where I want to be! (Platonic) Let's keep it friends - Let's keep it friends for now Come on, promise me. (Platonic) Let's keep it friends - Let's keep it friends for now Even though I love you! ------------------------------------------------------------ ==================================================================================================================================================================================== Aw, $&*t! I had to end the story. I hope you found the ending as sickening as I did. I thought of ripping the story apart like so many of my others, but this story held. I wanted to introduce an arch-rival or something, but it turned out I didn't need to or I couldn't keep the story together if I did. If you still haven't figured it out, I thought "what if Ranma had a brother and a sister from a different dimension." The story started AFTER the second movie if you didn't catch that. I thought of doing the Desperately Seeking Shampoo plot, the reversal jewel was so tempting, but I realized that Shampoo might kill me, Shin and Ranko for coming up with what I had in mind. Besides, with Shin around, Cologne's plan wouldn't have worked, Shin's too clever. I thought of actually bringing in Lord Zedd and Queen Beryl, most likely a tag-team or something like that, but when I read that Chris Schroder had already beaten me to the idea, I decided to let him keep the idea. I have thought of sequels. If you thought I was just going to let something like this slide without at least a follow up or a variant, dream on! Shin and Ranko have a lot of promise and you just have to wonder, where did the photo that Ranma gave to Akane come from and where did Shin get the ring? More is on the way! I have a few other projects, and if you have a story idea that you don't think will work, send it to me. I just love finding a way to get stories to work. If you like, I'll even write it and send you a copy. If you have comments or questions, please send them to me and try to be as specific as possible. Please, no "It sucked!" or "That one part really pissed me off!". Please tell me why it sucked or why that part really pissed you off. It will help me become a better author and in the long run, it will keep you from being pissed off. I might try a serious version of this if you perfer those. I might have a weirdier version or a funnier version. I'm definitely going to write a few side stories to this. By the way, this doesn't mean Akane and Ranma are getting married or even making the engagement official, who knows, maybe Ryoga will wind up with Akane. The whole point of introducing Shin and Ranko was to add some unusual aid. And I'm still not sure Ben finished off Happosai, even though death was unavoidable. Happosai has shown that he can with stand fatal injuries before. This story was finished as of 8-8-96. Profiles -------- (Sorry, I don't give exact measurements on height, but I don't really know anyone's height save my own creation, Benjamin Kilok.) Shin Saotome Age:16 Eyes:Grey (boy)/ Blue (girl) Hair:Black (male)/ Red (female) Height: same as Ranma's/ same as Nodoka Gender: Boy (original form)/ Girl (cursed form) Martial Arts status: Master of Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Combat skills: RO (Ridiculously Overpowered) Shin has the most normal life of the trio as he has somehow mastered Kasumi's ability to not only stop conflicts (sometimes), but to aviod making enemies. Let's face it, we can't stay mad at Kasumi. Ranko Saotome Age:16 Eyes:Blue (girl)/ Grey (boy) Hair: Red (female)/ Black (male) Gender: Girl (original form)/ Boy (cursed form) Height: an inch taller than Ranma-chan/ equal Ranma Martial Arts status: Ranma's equal Combat skills: Equal to Ranma Ranko has had the most traumatic life of the trio, having lost both her mother and her father (figuratively). I thought about swaping Shin and Ranko's lives, but that might be sexist, so I decided that Ranko should be hardened to the point of being equal to Ryoga. Benjamin Kilok Age:22 Eyes: Blue Hair: Brownish-black Gender: Male Height: 5'11" Martial Arts status: Unknown Combat skills: Unknown Ben is the quirky scientist that brought Ranko and Shin to Ranma's dimension. He and Nabiki have been dating for the three months that the trio, Ryoga, Ukyo and Akane were gone. What happened to his assistant and the business man? Who knows, who cares! Other stories that may or may not reach the internet: The Christmas Kiss ------------------ The plot? Re-read the title. It's done, I just have to post it. Roku-bun No San: MMMR --------------------- I'm not telling. Roku-bun No San: Version 2 -------------------------- That's right! Another version of this story! Roku-bun No San: Version 3 -------------------------- That's right! Yet another version of this story! Roku-bun No San 2 ----------------- I won't tattle, but it might not have a continous plot. Roku-bun No San: A Lemon ------------------------ As a wise man once said, "See one porn movie and you've seen them all, but lemons are always different.". I must warn that I'm new to the lemon writing business, but I intend to have, yes, A PLOT!!! Da-da-da-dum!!!!!! Roku-bun No San: A Lemon 2 -------------------------- No, not a typo, and not a mistake. I have two lemon ideas in my head!! Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-dum!! Walker ------ A young man, NOT ME, has entered the Ranma 1/2 universe. But, where is he from? (I might change the title) Yohko: A Jack Of All Trades --------------------------- It introduces another devil hunter, Jack Hyde. Now, what could THIS possibly mean? Author's Paradise ----------------- A little look into what it takes to be an author and the rigors of becoming author material and a little look into what goes on behind your favorite Manga and Anime. A-kun, signing off, cause I haven't slept in a week and I REALLY gotta go. sed you off.�O)�h�h�h�h'}`� O{��'--====================987654321_0==_ Content-Type: text/plain; name="Randhu.txt" Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="Randhu.txt" 1�Devil Hunter Ukyo By A-kun the Superfan This is a VERY wild tale. I decided to play around with the characters and the original story until I got what I really wanted. I took it up for a while, dumped it, then I decided that I would try it again! In sentences between ( and ) are words muttered under their breath and between * and * are thoughts during sentences. < and > are thoughts outside of sentences. Disclaimers: Usual and some more usual. Enjoy! ^_^ ============================================================ Ukyo sat next to Tsubasa under a cherry blossom tree. Ukyo blushed. "This is my first time." She said nervously. "Mine too." Tsubasa replied. They lay down, Ukyo on top of Tsubasa. From the water they were near sprang slimely tentacles. They raced towards the couple. As they touched Ukyo, she blushed. "Tsuchan, you're so agressive...huh?" Ukyo asked as she realized Tsubasa's arms were at his sides. She turned to see the tentacles. She and Tsubasa screamed... Ukyo woke up to see Cologne flying at her. Ukyo leaped out of bed as Cologne struck her pillow. Ukyo, not ready for this, had landed unceremoniously on her butt. "You're getting slow, Ukyo." Cologne scolded. "Yeah, right. (Every morning she does this!)" Ukyo replied. Ukyo walked downstairs, fully dressed. Cologne was finishing making breakfast. Nodoka was on the phone. "I know, dearest, I miss you and Ranma as well." Nodoka said. "And I love you too." Nodoka added. "'I love you'. To think a woman at her age panting like a bitch in heat just because my grandson-in-law and my great-grandson-in-law take off for a couple of weeks to train." Cologne grumbled. "What'dja say, great-grandmother?" Ukyo asked. "Nothing." Cologne replied, smiling. Nodoka and Cologne sat down at the table. It wasn't long until their standard fight began. Ukyo couldn't believe that they were even related and she couldn't believe that the same damn argument started everyday. She also couldn't believe she and her mom were going to marry into the same family. She began walking out the door when Nodoka called her name. She turned. "What?" Ukyo asked. "You nearly forgot this!" Nodoka said, tossing Ukyo a package. "What is this?" Ukyo asked, opening the package. "No young couple should be without them!" Nodoka said, winking at Ukyo. Ukyo looked in and gasped. "Mom! Is this what I think it is?!" Ukyo asked. "Yep." Nodoka replied. "WA-HOOO!!!" Ukyo said, rushing out the door with the package. "She can get so excited over the strangest things. You'd think that was a swiss bank account number for Donald Trump." Cologne said. Nodoka thought. We see the roofs of numerous bathrooms exploding upward as water bursts through. Ukyo stood near a rail, looking at Tsubasa Kurenai walk to school. Shampoo and Ranma sat back and watched her. Ranma said. "You'll never meet her sitting here." Shampoo told Ranma. Meanwhile in the back of Ukyo's head... Ukyo thought, right before Shampoo lifted up her skirt. "What adorable panties!" Shampoo said, staring underneath Ukyo's skirt. Ranma took one look at what Shampoo was doing, got a perverted thought, and passed out with a trail of blood running from his nose and a goofy grin on his face. Ukyo yelped and slapped her skirt out of Shampoo's hand, only to tear it, leaving a perfect view of her panties for anyone who wanted to look. Shampoo was currently staring and admiring. "C'mon. I was only giving poor Ranma a look. After all, your mom and his dad are engaged to each other and you and him are engaged. Eventually, he'll..." Shampoo began. "Shampoo, knock it off. I REALLY like Tsubasa better." Ukyo replied to the foreign exchange student. "I hear bells." Shampoo said, as an airhorn went off. "I SAID I HEAR BELLS, NOT AIRHORNS!!! Stupid sound effects person." Shampoo said. "I hear bells." Shampoo said, as a woman's moan of pleasure eminated from the side of the stage. "I HEAR BELLS, BELLS!! AS IN A CHURCH'S BELL!" Shampoo yelled. "I hear bells." Shampoo said, as the sound of a whoopee cushion was heard. "THAT'S IT!! I QUIT!!" Shampoo said, stomping off. "You won't get paid if you quit now." The Author said. "I DON'T QUIT!!!" Shampoo said, racing back into position. "I hear bells." Shampoo said, trying one last time. Sounds of Monty Python animals being catapulted was heard. Everyone sighed. "Just continue with the scene." The Author said, sighing. "But that would mean-" Ranma began. "WE'RE BEING ARRESTED!!!" Ukyo yelped. "WRONG CUE CARD!!! THAT'S IN THE FIFTH FANFIC!!" The Author yelled. "WE'RE BEING GIVEN A CAVITY SEARCH!!!" Ukyo yelped. "YAY!" the cue card man said, before being beaten to a bloody pulp. "WE'RE LATE!!!" The Sailor Senshi, The Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, Ukyo, Brittany Diggers, Shampoo, Devil Hunter Yohko, Elvis and Ranma yelped in unison. The Author began to bang his head against a brick wall. "YOU DELINQUENTS!!" Ms. Hinako (she's in adult form throughout this story) said, cracking her whip. Ranma, Shampoo, Ukyo, Darth Vader and M. Bison and Vega cowered. "She's never this frisky in bed..." The Author began. "What is your excuse THIS time?!" Ms. Hinako asked/yelled. "Well, Shampoo was feeling Ranma up when he was unconscious 'cause she made me moon him and then we had to fight the extras who wanted screen time and I had to change because my skirt was torn..." Ukyo began. "You call that an excuse?! I could have done that and still gotten here on time!" Ms. Hinako said. All six of them rolled their eyes. "You all have detention." Ms. Hinako told them. They all began to slink off to class. "You!" Ms. Hinako said, pointing at Ranma. "Yes?" Ranma asked. "I want to see you in my office later. Is that a problem?" Ms. Hinako asked. "No, Ma'am." Ranma replied. Ms. Hinako smiled. Ukyo and Nabiki (because Shampoo can't do the water scene) sat by the pool. Nabiki was eating lightly. Shampoo (because I want to confuse you and because she begged to remain on the payroll) was sitting next to them with a zoned-out look. Kodachi walked by. "Doesn't Kodachi look disgusting?" Ukyo said. "That's not the line!" a Yohko Purist said. "Shut up! This is MY fanfic!!" The Author said, telling the Purist off. "Maybe if we diet enough, we'll look as boney and disgusting as her!!" Ukyo said, smiling widely. Ukyo looked at what Nabiki was eating and grabbed a cupcake and dashed off. Nabiki raced after her. "It's mine!!" Ukyo said. Nabiki knocked Ukyo into the pool while grabbing the cupcake with her mouth. Ukyo fell below the normal bottom of the pool. The Yohko Purist as well as authors that pissed off A-kun lay at the bottom, their feet in cement blocks. Ukyo took one look at them, shrieked in terror, and blasted them away, destroying all of them. Later, Ranma walked up to the door and was about to knock when a voice came from within. "Come in." the voice said. Ranma walked in and saw Principal Kuno sitting on his desk. Ranma ran off the set and into a bathroom. "Who let Principal Kuno into this fanfic?" The Author asked. "It was part of his contract. One disgusting mentioning..." an assistant said. "That was a mentioning in DISGUST! Not a disgusting mentioning! I'll have nightmares for weeks!" The Author said, shivering in disgust. Principal Kuno was thrown out of the fanfic as the Author and Ranma lost their lunch. After they had recovered, they re-did the scene. Ranma walked up to the door and was about to knock when a voice came from within. "Come in." the voice said. Ranma walked in and saw Cologne sitting on her desk. Ranma ran off the set and into a bathroom. "Who let Cologne onto the office?" The Author asked. "It was part of her contract. One disgusting mentioning later..." an assistant said. "That was a mentioning in DISGUST! Not a disgusting mentioning! I'll have nightmares for weeks!" The Author said, shivering in disgust. Cologne was thrown off the set as the Author and Ranma lost their dinner from the previous night. After they had recovered, they re-did the scene. Ranma walked up to the door and was about to knock when a voice came from within. "Come in." the voice said. Ranma walked in and saw a sexy replacement for Ms. Hinako as Ms. Hinako(in adult form only) was the Author's muse and he didn't want her in this scene. Well, you know what happens or at least you should if you had paid attention to all those talks about sex earlier in the story. Ukyo sat in the diner looking at Shampoo. "You okay? That bitch Kodachi didn't hurt you too much when she gave you that donut which caused you to get a cramp, did she?" Shampoo asked. "Oh, don't worry about it, Shampoo." Ukyo said. We see the Kuno compound. A geyser of water bursts out of one portion of the main house's roof and is accompanied by a female's scream of surprise and shock. "I can take care of her sooner or later." Ukyo said, smiling. "Okay." Shampoo said. They waved to each other and went their separate ways. Ukyo walked right past a now-better dressed Ranma. "Ucchan." Ranma said. Ukyo turned to see Ranma and gasped in surprise. Ukyo and Ranma were in bed. A mysterious rider on a motorcycle rode down the highway. It seems to have the form of a Fabio look-a-like. Ukyo and Ranma were in bed, doing stuff. The mysterious rider on a motorcycle rode down the highway. Ukyo and Ranma were in bed, doing a LOT of stuff. The mysterious rider smashed through the convenient sky-light and was about to throw a ward when it caught sight of what was going on. It shook it's head and threw the ward. Nothing happened. The mysterious rider seemed confused. It removed the helmet from it's head to reveal...Fabio. "Wait! That's not right." The Author's sister said. The Author looked at the screen. "Yeah, but I can't tell what is." The Author said. It removed the helmet from it's head to reveal...Cologne. "Wait! That's not right either." The Author's sister said. The Author looked at the screen. "Yeah, but I can't tell what is." The Author said. The bed began shaking up and down. Faster and faster and faster and faster. Ukyo and Ranma stopped jumping on the bed and were about to get to the REAL action when Cologne interupted them. And since you SHOULD know what happens, I'll just cut to the next day. Tsubasa walked up to the principal's office door. He was about to knock. Ukyo popped up behind Tsubasa (she's outside) and laughed maniacally. Ukyo stood at the railing. Tsubasa wasn't walking by. Ranma and Shampoo had vanished. No one was around. Ukyo walked into the school, feeling confused. She went to her locker and opened it to see a a flaming bag. She pulled out a mini-spatula, picked up the bag, went down to another locker, opened it, and put the bag in there. She closed the locker and went back to her own and noticed a note in the locker. It read: "Dear Pooky, How I have missed you and your thick strong..." Ukyo read the letter, wondering what the hell the smut on the paper meant. She turned it over and noticed another message. It read: "Dear Ms. Devil Hunter, Do you like french fries? Nah, she wouldn't answer to something as stupid as that. Huh? No, dammit! STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!! STOP TYPING WHAT I'M SAYING!!! Damn automatic typewriter. Anyway, if you want to see your smelly, blue haired girlfriend, I would suggest you flush all the tuna in your household, then sacrifice a sock to your dryer or just come to the park at 11:30 PM." Ukyo shrugged. She noticed the paper's ink began to rearrange itself to spell out "TUNA IS GOOD" and "I LIKE MR. ED" in big letters. She looked at the note, took it to the locker she had put the flaming bag in, opened it, and tossed the paper in. She heard shrieks of pain and terror as the paper burnt up. She slammed the locker shut and closed her own. She left, to prepare for the fight. Kodachi arrived at school and opened her locker to see a still flaming bag. She pulled out a mallet and smashed it flat, forgetting that she had put a full pound of dog feces in the bag. She was quickly covered in warm, slimy, still wiggling dog shit. Ukyo arrived at the park on time. She looked around. She heard something rustling around in the bushes. As she neared the bushes, a black cat with a cresent moon on it's forehead leaped out of them. "SAILOR MOON, NO!!!" Luna yelped. She looked at Ukyo, who stared back. "Sorry, wrong person." Luna said, trotting off. Ukyo sighed in relief. Then she felt something hit the back of her neck. She reached back and her hand came back, covered in a red substance. She sniffed it and then tasted it. It was ketchup. Shampoo fell from the branch above Ukyo, the cord that should have held her broke and she hit the ground, hard. Ukyo realized Shampoo had been doused with ketchup. She untied her friend. Shampoo woke and threw Ukyo into a...oh, you know what I mean. Webbing shot out of one corner and bound Ukyo up. Spiderman, his mission done, left. Ukyo looked at Ms. Hinako and Shampoo as Shampoo hefted an axe. "At last, Devil Hunter, you'll see the means of your undoing." Ms. Hinako said, pointing at a bum peeing on a tree. "Ooooo..." Ukyo said, sarcastically. She shook her head and pointed again, this time at a trashcan. Spiderman clapped sarcastically. Hinako pointed again at the trashcan, this time it had the bum peeing in it. Both Spiderman and Ukyo clapped sarcastically. A rat in the trashcan rustled around, making noises. "What did it say?" Shampoo asked Ms. Hinako. The bum, noticing he was being watched ran off as soon as he was finished. Ms. Hinako pointed at the pool, nearby, which had the bum peeing in it. The bum...er, I mean author, ran off the set, muttering something about no privacy. Tsubasa rised out of the pool, naked except for a loincloth. Oddly enough, they couldn't move him through the author's pee, so they had to move him around, which got him motion sickness (which he normally doesn't have) and they had to clean him up and change his outfit and well, you get the picture. Kodachi appeared next to Tsubasa. They began hovering into the school clock tower. "Oh, stop it!" The author said, annoyed. Tsubasa and Kodachi stomped to the clock tower and slammed into the door. They tried to open the doors, while checking their noses to make sure they weren't broken. They found the janitor had locked it. They spent five minutes breaking the lock, but when they finally did, they entered the clock tower and locked it behind them. Shampoo raised the axe and began to swing. She ripped Ukyo's skirt, then paused. Ukyo expected another swing, but Shampoo was admiring. Spiderman, having recently been paid by Ukyo to save her, rapped Shampoo up in webbing and ripped the webbing holding Ukyo. Cologne appeared and began fighting Ms. Hinako, who kept trying to pull out a coin. Soon, after losing all her coins, she gave up. Cologne gave Ukyo the Devil Hunter ring and laid down. "What are you doing, great-grandmother?" Ukyo asked. "We have to do a dramatic part." Cologne explained. "Oh, poor Cologne! I knew her well!" Ukyo said, holding up a fake skull. Ukyo threw the skull away and put on the Devil Hunter ring. Off set, Kasumi Tendo was sucking in the helium from a balloon. She held a microphone against her throat. "The hour of our victory is at hand! For thousands of years, the Devil Hunter clan has kept us at bay, but tonight, our Black Queen will be revived. Now, Devil Hunter Yohko...I mean, Devil Hunter Ukyo, will you baptise the birth of our black queen with you virgin blood?" Kasumi said, in a demonic voice. Kodachi kissed Tsubasa sweetly on the lips. She looked into Tsubasa eyes and stood back, while pulling off Tsubasa's loincloth. She pulled out a Polariod camera and snapped a picture. She leaned forward and grabbed Tsubasa's extra pair of underwear. "Yes, Kodachi. Become our Black Queen. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kasumi said, in the demonic voice. She let out the helium. "Damn, that's hard on the throat." Kasumi said, as she walked away. Kodachi wedgied Tsubasa, who was in a trance, and smiled. The doors exploded inward. Ukyo walked into the room. "We hold to grievances against those who lawyers and politicians by choice, But to those vile creatures who coerce people into those lines of work, For millenia, we have been your destroyers, Devil Hunter Ukyo is going to beat the living crap out of ya!" Ukyo said. The family spiel was finished and Ukyo transformed. Ukyo's outfit, however, wasn't red, it was her standard Ranma 1/2 outfit, complete with Kick-ass Spatula. "So, like a lamb to the slaughter..." Kodachi said. Kodachi leaped forward. They began fighting. Fist, foot, block, fist, block, bodyblow, bodyblow, uppercut, uppercut, bodyblow, superuppercut to the nads, and other standard combat attacks were exchanged. Suddenly one of the combatants fell. "WOO-HOO!!!" The author said, having finally beaten the new version of Mike Tyson's Punchout for the SNES (or super famicom, depending on where you are). The fight between Ukyo and Kodachi was progressing differently. Kick, punch, kick, block, block, kick, punch, wedgie, punch, hurricane kick, block, punch, kick, kick. Finally, Chun Li unleashed a lightning kick and defeated Balrog. Ukyo cheered as she had chosen Chun Li. Kodachi cursed Balrog and attacked Ukyo. As the standard fighting sequence was shown, Ukyo and Kodachi toweled off. They leaped into place as the sequence drew to a close. They separated. "Now, Devil Hunter Ukyo, I am not a fair fighter. Legions of Useless Flying Demons, attack!!!" Kodachi called. The Legions of Useless Flying Demons appeared and just hovered outside of the fighting zone, not doing anything as they were useless. Ukyo whistled. Lobo, Rally Vincent, all of the G.I. Joe action figures and the entire NRA entered the room and began blasting away all the demons. "You're doing awesome!" Ukyo commented. "No, we're not! We're trying to hit that damn duck!" Lobo said, bringing his gatling guns to bear. The afore mentioned duck was weaving inbetween the demons with astounding skill and accuracy. Ukyo also noted the duck was wearing glasses with swirls on them. She turned back to Kodachi, who was trying to sneak off. Kodachi turned and faced Ukyo. "WAIT! Before we fight on, I must tell you. Luke, I am your great-great-great-great-great-notsogreat-notsogreat-great-grandmother's sister's uncle's former roommate's brother's cousin's ex-girlfriend's niece's next-door neighbor." Kodachi said. "Soooo.... what does that make us?" Luke Skywalker asked. "Absolutely nothing. I just thought I'd mention it." Kodachi said. Ukyo pulled out her Kick-ass spatula and charged while Kodachi was still talking. As Kodachi finished talking, Ukyo slammed her in a juiced up bug-zapper. Kodachi shrieked, then fell limp as the 1.2 volt (with .0002 amps) current ran through her body (for those who don't know, that's less than static electricity). Kodachi's body became a pile of Elvis dolls and promptly disappeared like the singer had. Ukyo and the assembled forces ran out of the tower, forgetting completely about Tsubasa. Ukyo walked out to the....oh, you know what I mean, that thingy she was in before. Her assembled forces, Spiderman, Ms. Hinako, Ranma, Shampoo (who was now un-tied), Cologne, Nodoka and Genma were waiting for her. Somehow, her devil hunter outfit had gotten torn up. "Damn extras." Ukyo muttered. "Now, Ukyo, since you have become a devil hunter, you can sleep around all you want! Hey, sonny-boy! I want some great-great-grandkids!" Cologne said, slapping Ranma. Ranma stumbled and knocked Ukyo down. "Uh...Ucchan? I have this curse..." Ranma began. "Who cares!" Ukyo said. And what they began doing is above XXXXXX rated, so I can't tell you what they were doing...exactly. All I can tell you is that the bed was shaking up and down. Faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster. Finally, Ukyo and Ranma stopped jumping on the bed and got to the real action. No one stopped them THIS time. In fact, they were all cheering and making suggestions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Aw, S^*T!!! I had to end it. Don't worry! Devil Hunter Ukyo 2, 3, 5, 6 and 4 are planned, but I'm not so sure that I can convey a music video too well, so 4 might not be out at all. Tell me how you thought it turned out! By the way, I'm going to stop informing of what I've done and I'll only be posting what I have in the works from now on. Other A-kun FanFics that are in the works =========================================== Roku-Bun No San 3: The True TimeLine ------------------------------------ I have my own ideas, so I'm going to put in my ideas into this one. THIS will be the TRUE story and any references from other tales about this one will be about this one. Sorry, but I have my own pride to uphold. Ultimate Crossover: Ultima --------------------------- This is the ultimate fanfic. See why Ranma is so nice! See A-kun's evil brother, C-kun, hatch an evil plot! Find Out Why Nodoka is dating other people! See Rei Hino from Sailor Moon meet Ukyo Kuonji from Ranma 1/2! See Ami Mizuno from Sailor Moon meet Akane Tendo from Ranma 1/2! Find Out Why Kasumi is flying a Veritech and launching Naplam and Missles at Happosai! See Some REALLY cool combat scenes! See Some REALLY odd cross-overs! See Some REALLY weird and pointless cameos! And Play the Ranma 1/2 FanFic Drinking Game while you're at it! Super-Crossover 2: RESV/SM/RBNS -------------------------------- After the defeat of the Black Moon family, all the scouts amd Mamoru recall their missing friends Ranko and Mike. But, where are they? And who is after Heart Crystals? And What the Hell is going on? Set in Sailor Moon S and based on the summaries at Hitoshi Doi's Sailor Moon webpage (thanks Hitoshi!), the New Sailor Moon S is going to be one hell of a ride! Super-Crossover: RBNS/BGC/RESV ------------------------------- Ranma is in Neo-Tokyo? And Genom's after him? Is this student of the infamously over-powered martial arts master Shin Saotome up to the challenges he faces? And is Mike's old rival Zenith still up to fighting standards in order to live in this technological age? Find out how and why in this crossover. Super-Crossover: RBNS/R 1/2: Kids! ---------------------------------- Shin Saotome's daughter had been traveling the universes, looking for someone worthy of marrying her. And Herb intends to be that someone. Has Shin trained his/her daughter enough? And who the hell did Shin marry in order to have this child? And how good is she compared to her uncle/aunt Ranma? Based on a spur of the moment thing. Dated:3-5-1997 A-kun, signing off! "WAIT! Before we fight on, I must tell you. Luke�w#A[ Tell me how you thought it turned out! B--====================987654321_0==_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"